It was cold and stormy when Kan walked back into school. It was eerie, as the entire dorm building was silent. Only the hard raid pellets broke the silence. He stood in the lobby, the lights flickering every now and then. He had failed to let Raehyun see his sincere side. He had truly been sorry, but even he knew that he didn't deserve to be forgiven.

He fell to his knees, staring at the floor in front of him. He wanted to scream and cry, but his past wouldn't let him. He had cried too much and had been hurt even more. It was better for him this way anyway. No one should be around him because he would only hurt them. He sat back on his legs, the room spinning around him. It was almost like this was a nightmare, only this nightmare was true.

He forced himself to his feet, dragging himself through the long, cream and dark red hallways. When he was in front of his room, he stared at the room number 114. He placed his head against the wood for a moment, until the door swung open. He barely even realized that he was being pulled inside by his own roommate. Jinon was muttering about something that he wasn't comprehending. He also had a towel over his head, but he couldn't move or say anything. That was until Jinon pushed him roughly on the chest.

“Yah! Don't you hear me? I said that you are being brought in front of the President of the School! What is wrong with you? You should know that you are not allowed to leave the school premises without permission. Where did you go anyway? I've been trying to call you, but you didn't pick up. KAN?!?”

He had enough. He threw the towel off of his head, meeting eyes with Jinon for only an instant. Nothing was said, but instead Kan left the room. He couldn't be around anyone. To protect them for getting hurt and to protect himself from getting hurt, it was best if he stuck to himself. He didn't care if he was alone because he had been alone for the most of his life.

He went straight to his favorite spot. The training room that he had used since his own freshman year. He collapsed onto the floor, staring into space as he thought about the events of the day.

::Flashback::

“Don't. Don't go.”

He had begged, hoping that he could prove to Raehyun that he was sincere. That he wanted him to stay. He wanted to prove that he could do better.

Raehyun had refused to look at him from the beginning. Had refused to acknowledge that he was trying his best, and in the end he seemed to walk away from the hospital without a moments hesitation. Kan had felt embarrassed, sad but above all he wondered in Raehyun's actions had been genuine. What if Raehyun had been following him around, throwing him into confusion so that he could break up once again.

Raehyun, after so many hours that he had spent following him, he had been able to walk so easily out of his life.

::End::

He laughed bitterly, feeling all the pain fall onto him once again. The pain of his past mixing in with the pain he was now feeling, and now all he could do was laugh. He stood up, tearing his wet jacket from his body. He couldn't go on thinking about this, so he began to work out. His familiar routine was burned into his mind, but he couldn't help but making each step stronger.

After two weeks, he was finally back. He felt as though he was able to settle his own emotions while he had been away, but it was frightening how he still wanted to see Kan. He smiled, looking around at the familiar lobby area of his dorm. He could see things differently after his time away.

Truthfully, he could have never boarded that plane. He had used all his energy in finding Kan. Kan had dominated every part of his life and he felt lost without him in it. He felt regretful to his brother who had to go to America alone, but at the same time he had to follow his heart. He couldn't deny that he wanted to follow Kan for the rest of his life, no matter what Kan said or did to make him change his mind.

That is why he smiled. Nothing would change his mind again. He needed to do this for his own good. That is what made him decide to come back and face what scared him most. Even if Kan hated him, it didn't matter. He had made a vow to find Kan and even though he realized he was selfish, he needed to stay beside him. Kan had saved his life in the past so he at least owed him just as much.

“Raehyun?!?” Daegun ran down the hallway, hugging him immediately. Raehyun happily greeted him back. There wasn't much to be said as Raehyun had contacted Daegun before he had made his return. He had explained everything and had even asked his roommate to tell no one of his condition.

They were almost back to their room when they ran into Jinon. He seemed slightly flustered but was happy to see that Raehyun was back. There was no surprise that YeJun was close behind Jinon, smiling widely.

“Welcome back! I was beginning to think we scared you away for good!” Jinon smiled widely, tapping him on the shoulder. He nodded, bowing his head respectfully.

“Jinon hyung?”

The older man raised his eyebrows, waiting for what he was about to ask. He took a deep breath, his eyes shifting downwards.

“How is Kan?”

There was an awkward silence in which Jinon looked between YeJun and Daegun. He caught on rather quickly, giving his entire attention to Jinon.

“Kan has been...”

“What?!?”

“I think it is best that you go talk to him yourself. He has been on probation the past two weeks.”

Raehyun felt his eyes widen, but didn't waste any time. He knew exactly where Kan would be.

It didn't take him very long to find him. The man looked horrible. Dark circles darkened his face and the small beard proved that he hadn't shaved in quite a while. He stood in horror as the man slept, his back straight up against the wall. This man looked homeless.

“Kan?”

He reached out, but quickly retracted his hand when Kan grumbled in his sleep. He was finally able to gently touch the face, the first time he was ever able to get this close to him. He screamed when his hand was suddenly grabbed, Kan's eyes flashing open.

“Raehyun?”

The voice seemed broken and fragile, but Kan's eyes fluttered closed as he was pushed into the man's embrace. He was put in an awkward position, his hands fighting for support in places that he shouldn't be touching.

“Kan?”

The man grumbled again, almost sounding like a whine.

“Do you have to torture me like this? Didn't I say I was sorry?” The mumble was hard to interpret, but Raehyun couldn't say a word after hearing him. He struggled to get away from Kan, but the struggle sent them both falling sideways. Kan finally opened his eyes fully, realizing that this wasn't one of his nightmares.

“Raehyun?”

His voice sounded shocked, but Kan was immediately on top of him, hugging him to his best ability. Raehyun tried to block him by pushing his hands in between their body.

“Raehyun?”

Kan had relaxed slightly although he was still holding onto his waist. He moaned, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Is, is this real? Please tell me this is real?”

HI!!!!

Sorry that the update has taken forever. I found motivation to write while at college

Anyway, hope you like it!

Please comment!

Thanks!

Much love

ChoAnna~