I never expected Ouija board. I heard so many bad, scary things about it.

“No,” I say. “It’s too scary.”

Minami looks at me with disbelief. “C’mon! You want to talk to Yuko right? This is the only way I know of.”

She’s still alive to me. It feels as if I sit under this tree, I can still talk to her. “You can sit here under this tree and talk to her.”

“What?” Chiyuu asks with her eyes wide opened. “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why would you think I’m not?” I tell her while clenching my fist.

“It’s one thing saying that you can still feel her presence,” Tomo says. “It’s another when you start talking about her like she’s still alive.”

I stop. I don’t know what to say other than, “No, I don’t want to do it. Find something less scary.”

---

Over the next few weeks, Minami and the others try to convince me to join them on a Ouija board. Each and every time I reject the offer. They told me that they won’t do it without me and I have no idea how to feel about it.

I try to go see Yuko’s parents at least once every week, to see how they’re doing without Yuko around. I drive up to their house and knock on the door. Mrs. Oshima opens the door and smiles slightly.

“Hello, Atsuko.” She welcomes me in.

“Hello, Mrs. Oshima.” I walk into their house. As usual, it feels different without Yuko’s presence. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine.” She lets out a sigh. “Come in to the living room.”

I follow her through the hall and into the living room. She tells me to sit on the couch and she goes to the kitchen and brings two cups of tea out.

“I hope you don’t mind tea.” Mrs. Oshima places the tea on the coffee table in front of me. I thank her and she sits next to me.

For the next few hours, she tells me that the divorce has been called off. Even after Yuko’s death, they were still fighting but after giving it some thought, they want Yuko to rest peacefully. They want Yuko to look down from heaven and smile rather than frown.

She tells me that she and Mr. Oshima will be going on their second honeymoon. They said that it might help them remember why they decide to get married. They’ll be visiting the place where they first met and the movie theater and restaurant they went on their first date. She looks at me with a smile and tells me how excited she is.

I smile back but her smile hurts me a little bit. It reminds me of Yuko.

I think back to my own parents. Have they had a fight? What if they are actually in their second marriage? Did I have a brother or sister who was so discouraged by a divorce that they died while trying to find hope in their misery? What if they didn’t find hope? What if they committed suicide?

I get up. “Thank you for talking to me today.”

“You’re welcome.” She collects the cups of tea. “It’s always nice to talk to someone who knew her.”

Hearing Yuko being talked in the past tense is a cruel reminder and I can tell that she’s shaken up. I excuse myself. It looks like she is about to cry.

I get in my car and drive home while trying to hold back my own tears.

I won't have the luxury of writing everyday now. I'll be busy.