Is this what it takes? Is this what it took for my parents to realize their selfishness in their fight?

I stare at my body, covered in blood. I’m still living. I’m not dead yet but what I remember I was hit pretty hard.

I’m probably as good as dead.

It’s really amusing how I’m in the same situation as the character in Atsuko’s book. Except that she comes out alive in the end and I’ll probably die.

I go outside and see Atsuko and everyone else. Atsuko, I finally became friends with you and now I can’t even enjoy what is left of this year with you, with everyone else.

I turn around and I see Sayaka Akimoto coming. Sayaka and I were pretty good friends but only at school. Outside, we didn’t hang out very much so why is she here?

She kneels in front of my parents. “I’m sorry.”

Was she the one driving?

“I came as fast as I could when I heard the news.” Sayaka starts crying. “I know Yuko and I aren’t as close as I’d like to be,” so she acknowledges it too. “But I hope she comes out of this alive.”

I hoped that my parents will stop fighting but they still fought.

For about an hour, my parents are pacing together, trying to comfort each other. I feel mad that this is what it took for them to calm down.

I want to die, so that my death would haunt them, that their fights drove me out of the house, the real reason why I got hit by that car.

But at the same time, I hope I don’t. I want to spend more time with Atsuko, the person who supported me through this whole ordeal.

And maybe I should have told more people as well. Minami, Tomo, and Chiyuu could have helped.

Maybe, in the end, I’m the selfish one. The one who just sat by and did nearly nothing to help the situation, and now when I think about it, my thoughts came out selfishly.

I kneel in front of Atsuko.

“She won’t die. She won’t die.” Atsuko repeats over and over, holding back her tears. She’s quivering in nervousness and I just want to comfort her like she did with me.

But I can’t, she won’t feel me.

Who knew being a ghost would make you feel so useless?

Maybe I’m not a ghost yet. I’m technically still living.

Two hours pass and the doctor comes out with a grim look on his face. Despite that, everyone holds onto that hope. Everyone gets up and look at the doctor eagerly.