A storm was brewing outside as the young lady sipped her cup of tea inside the safety of her condo. It left a bitter aftertaste on her tongue yet she welcomed it, almost to the point of anticipation. She savored the burning sensation that accompanied the drink as it rushed . That feeling told her that she could still feel, that she could still taste and that she was still alive. And it was moments like this that she needed that confirmation the most. It wasn’t fear, since fear was an emotion. It was the lack of feelings, lack of emotions that worried her. But wasn’t worry yet another emotion? Maybe it was the knowledge of just knowing that she couldn’t feel yet couldn’t get herself to think any more of it than that. She could just take it as it was without the wish to change. 

 

 

Taking a glance out the window, she placed her cup down before making her way to the window looking over the city. The normally busy streets were now thinning as the rain seemed to be falling twice as hard with every passing second. Rather than sorrow, she actually felt relief pass through her. Only the rain seemed to have the ability to calm her down when those images and scenes started to play in her head. Only the rain could drown out and wash away those images from her mind. In the rain, she felt safe. Nothing could hurt her with the raging storm shielding her.  

 

 

It wasn’t until the rain had forced all the people off the streets that she moved from her place at the window. Grabbing her key from off the counter, she made her way towards the closet to grab a towel before draping it on the coat rack. Gently closing the door behind her, she walked out slowly out into the storm, savoring each time a rain drop made contact with her skin. Her white shirt became transparent in a matter of seconds but the female just closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky. The wind enveloped her in its embrace, swaying her from side to side. A small smile grew on her face as she felt each rain drop begin to burn and claw at her skin. Her mind began to whir with images from the past as she let herself fall into that unfeeling abyss once again. Her eyes began to sting as she continued to let her mind fall from the tower she fortified herself in. That inner shadow seemed to be breaking free as she felt her defense crumble. Crescent imprints were engraved into the palms as she tried to contain the burning inside of her. Screams began to fill her ears and her breathes came in short pants.  Her eyes snapped open the moment her vision turned red, her whole body shaking until she collapsed onto the street.