That night I cannot sleep… various of things keep bothering me..

I keep thinking about my love… since when I fall in love with him?

My love is not ‘fall in love in the first sight’

The first time I saw Heechul, I just thought..this guy is beautiful; still are. At first I am annoyed with his over cocky; over confident personality. He just ignores me; like I’m nobody. Well, in fact, at first majority of the members were like that. Everybody try to survive but me joining them is like grabbing their chance of survival but that don’t last long as we finally realise that we share the same dream. So, finally we work together to make that dream come true. At first I don’t pay too much attention to Heechul. He is just like that. Not everyone can be close to him. But suddenly, without I’m realising it.. I want his recognition, his attention. And just like that, everything that he does become my attention.

I watch the clock.. its already 6.00 am. Thank god my schedule start late in evening. What happened yesterday still bothering me and Sungmin’s words lingering in my mind. I stand up and set my mind.

I don’t want to regret anything

Kyuhyun wandering in front Heechul’s room. He already set his mind but once he is in front of Heechul’s room, his courage suddenly gone.

I should knock.. but will I bother him? Is he still mad at me?

“Kyuhyun.. what are you doing here?” Leeteuk asks when he saw Kyuhyun standing in front of Heechul’s room.

“Err.. I have something to ask hyung” Kyuhyun lying.

“Heechul is not in his room. He went out last night.”

“What? Where did he go to?”

“I don’t know. He said he needs to be alone…”

Alone? Does that means he doesn’t want to see me? Am I really hurt him so much?

“Kyuhyun-ah… lets talk”

I look into Leeteuk hyung’s eyes. I know that concerned eyes and I know that Leeteuk has noticed that something was wrong between Heechul hyung and me.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Ah.. he knows…  Leeteuk always knows… does everyone else know too? Is it that obvious?

“I.. hurt him…” I said not wanting to spill the fact that I love Heechul until Leeteuk himself tells that he knows.

Ah..this boy…

“I already know that”

“Did Sungmin tells you?”

“No.. he doesn’t tells anything to me.”

….

“ I know almost everything that happened in our group.”

“I’m sorry”

“Kyuhyun-ah… I don’t want to hear that from you. You did nothing wrong to me..to Super Junior.”

“But I hurt him…deeply”

Leeteuk sigh…

“You know… although Heecul looks so confident.. in fact he is not. He always has this insecurity about himself. He worries too much and you know what… he is really afraid to be alone…”

“I know that…since the beginning”

“Hankyung departure taught Heechul to be more mature, more caring although he is still blind to certain things….its not only Heechul… you also blind to one important fact.”

One important fact?

“What do you mean?”

Leeteuk sigh…

“Its not for me too say…”

“Cannot you just tell me?”

“Its not fun like that…”

…

“I don’t mean it like that.. well…this kind of things, you need to discover by yourself so that it will be meaningful. So that you will appreciate it more. Heechul is like that too. He needs to find the answer by himself. Me and the rest just can help both of you to not stray from the road too far and once a while give a hint and advice.”

“You make me confuse.”

“Love is like that.”

…

“Thanks”

“Kyuhun-ah..don’t worry to much.. you will know the answer and Heechul too, sooner or later”