leeteuk's pov:

" what's wrong leeteuk ? why are you crying ? " heechul asked starting to get worried as I didn't reply.

" what have we done ? we are very cruel " I said sobbing hard as I continued to read kyuhyun's diary.

" tell us why are you crying leeteuk " I showed them the diary and as they started to read it , they begin crying as well.

15 August 2006 :

" today we had a concert everything went well my hyungs even complimented  me I was very happy that they noticed me even though I was always the calm and sometimes evil maknae "

18 August 2006 :

" I thought my hyungs hate me but when we won the prize they hugged me and congratulated me I felt like crying but I don't have the right to do that so I went to the waiting room and I found leeteuk hyung there when he noticed me he hugged me and I started crying like a baby I was very happy to be welcomed "

19 April 2007 : ( The accident day)

" I don't know why but I had a bad feeling today I hope my hyungs will be alright I don't care about myself as long as they are happy and healthy "

22 August 2007:

" I was in coma for about a month now when I wake up I found my hyungs beside me I forgot my pain when I saw them I was very happy they are alright "

3 february 2008:

" today is my birthday my hyungs brought me a cake and celebrated my birthday I was very happy that they are trying to accept me "

~~~

we continued to read crying more and more with every page , he care for us very much but we were very harsh with him and we didn't even notice his feelings.

21 july 2012: (today)

" I don't know how to tell the others my feeling I don't want them to hate me I want to show  them my love I have to ask for changmin's help he is my friend and the only one who knows my true feelings , sometimes I envy him he is loved by his hyungs they care about him very much but I , well I don't know if they really love me or not "

with that we all started sobbing hardly , we felt guilt and our hearts hurt very much.

~~~

" what did we have done ? " ryeowook and sungmin said holding each other and crying.

" we are very bad "

" we don't deserve someone like him "

" we have to make it up for him "

They kept talking but I didn't hear them I was deep in my thoughts until I felt a hand patting me I looked up and I saw that they were looking at me with sad eyes.

" well we have to show him our love ,right? " I smiled a bit to show them that everything will be alright and they nodded in agreement .

" let's find him first okay ? "

we called everyone kyuhyun is close to , we called shinee's dorm , 2pm's dorm and kyuhyun's friends in the other bands but unfortunately we didn't find him .

" wait , didn't he said that changmin is the only one who knows his true feelings ? why would he go to another place then ? " kibum asked suddenly.

" but we already called and he told us that kyuhyun wasn't there and he said he will call us if kyuhyun went there " I replied disappointely .

" would you tell anything about your friend to the people who caused his sadness ? " heechul seemed to have understood what is kibum trying to say.

" what do you mean ? " siwon asked confused.

" wait siwon , I may know where kyuhyun is " I said and went to my room to get dressed.

"  hyung!! where is kyu ? " I heard sungmin asking but I didn't stop I have to find him.

" wait we will go with you "

" but " I was going to protest but heechul stopped me.

" No buts , it's our fault too "

" okay let's go "

we all went to Tvxq's dorm without thinking twice.

~~~

changmin's pov:

kyuhyun was now laying on my bed I kept staring at him , he is so beautiful even when he is asleep . suddenly he opened his eyes and looked at me.

" where Am I ? "

" you are at my dorm you fainted infront of the door , what happened ? "  he looked at me with sadness and fearness at the same time.

" I...they......h..a...t..e...me " he begin sobbing .

I hugged him and begin patting his back , he tightened his grip in my shirt.

" shsh.. kyu tell me everything okay ? " I told him and he noddded slowly.

After telling me the story he fell asleep . maybe he is tired I let him rest for now.

" thank god that I didn't tell them that you are here " I said to the sleeping figure before me.

I was thinking about what happened with kyu ,suddenly I heard the door bell.

" maybe they are my hyungs " I told myself while walking towards the door , I opened it without checking who is there.

" where is kyu ? " leeteuk hyung said firmly , suddenly he passed me without waiting for my answer and begin looking for kyu.

" be quiet please he will wake up " I said  without any respect .

they were either taken back by my angry reaction or feeling guilty about what they had done as they didn't speak any word for a moment until heechul hyung broke the silence.

" so he is here !! " heechul hyung asked angrily.  " why didn't you tell us ? " he continued.

" and why did I have to tell you after what you have done to him ? "

" behave yourself kid we are older than you " heechul hyung shouted at me.

" like I care " I shouted back I was very angry right now.

" stop it you two " we all looked at the source of the voice and kyuhyun was there tears begin to fall down his face I wanted to run to him to comfert him but heechul hyung held my hands to prevent me from doing so  I looked at him and he shook his head as if telling me not to interrup .

" what are you doing here ? Are you here to shout at me again ? have I done something wrong again ? " kyuhyun said wipping the tears that kept falling.

" No kyuhyun we are sorry we didn't know your true feelings , we didn't even try to understand you but we promise we will , from now we will try to understand you so forgive us kyu , will you ? " leeteuk hyung begged him and I can see sadness and regret  in their eyes.

" so you regret what you have done now ? " I said sharply, they ignored me and kept asking for kyuhyun's forgiveness.

" why did you change your mind ? wait, how did you know about my true feelings ? " he glared at me.

" I swear I didn't tell them anything "

" he didn't tell us anything kyu , we read your diary " thank you siwon hyung you saved me.

" you what ? how did you find it ? "

" we are very sorry kyu we were worried about you so we decided to call your friends we told sungmin to get your mobile and the diary was under it " ryeowook explained.

" did you....did you read everything ? " a little blush appeared on kyuhyun's cheeks , oh so cute.

" Not everything actually we read the part about us " kyuhyun relaxed after hearing that , why ? did he write something about the one he love or something like that ?

" so you forgive us " sungmin hyung asked kyu.

there was a silence until he spoke.

" only if you all promise to play starcraft with me whenever I want " he said smirking. Aish this maknae and his game obsession .

" we will kyu so you forgive us "

" yes " he said smiling and they all hugged him.

" so we are a family now ? " kyuhyun asked taking his breath.

" we were and will always be a family kyu "

Is it short ? Do i have to make it longer ? but that will take so much time , anyway thank you all for commenting and subscribing.

I actually cried while writing about the accident I'm very sensitive about this topic I cry every time I remember it, thank god that I didn't know kyuhyun back then I would have died .

sorry for the sad beginning but I promise it will be happy after that maybe with little angst just little okay?