As Krystal waved, a sweet smile on her face, I closed the door quietly behind me as I stepped out into the hallway. I looked around before sneaking towards the stairs. There were some vending machines underneath the stairwell where I could score some breakfast-like snacks, so I would head there first.

As I neared the bottom stair, I saw someone was at one of the machines already. I froze when I recognized the long hair, and the stance, of the person as she bent down to retrieve something that had fallen into the bottom of the machine.

I weighed my decisions carefully. I could run up the stairs and back to the room and hide until she went back to hers, or maybe I could--

Too late. Sulli turned and saw me trying to hide between the metal rungs of the railing, and she smiled demurely when she saw me.

"Good morning, hyung," she said, walking up to me. "Couldn't wait to see me, huh?"

I swallowed. "Well, uh, not exactly. I was just going to get a snack..."

She put her hand over mine on the railing. "Why so nervous, hyung? I'm not going to bite."

"I uh..." I swallowed again, hard. My body was starting to remind me of how nice Sulli's lips were...and how nice her body probably was. I shook my head. "Sorry, Ssul, I need to go."

She didn't let go of my hand. "What's the rush?" She smiled knowingly. "Oh I see. You remember our special kiss." She kept her hand on mine, her grip suddenly getting stronger. "You know, hyung, we haven't spent any time together lately. I think you owe me, hmmm," she paused, tapping a finger against her chin as she thought. "An hour. Come on."

I pulled against her grip. "Sulli, don't do this. Please, I'll do anything--" and the instant the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them.

"Then kiss me," she said, without reserve. "And you have to kiss me like you mean it, like you would kiss Krystal."

My heart was thudding. How long will I have to do things like this to keep Sulli from telling Krystal anything? I can't start now! I paused for over a minute, making Sulli frown.

"You can just say no, hyung. Then I can go tell Krystal, and we can get this all over with."

"No!" I blurted out. "Fine, you can have your kiss. Come here," and I pulled her down the bottom of the stairs and underneath them where the vending machines were. I pushed her against the wall next to one vending machine and looked into her soft brown eyes.

She gave me a small smile. "Like you mean it," she whispered.

For a moment I considered running. Running back to the room and telling Krystal everything that was going on, how I was being blackmailed by Sulli and how I had shared a kiss with her during that horrible period we were fighting. Then the dumber part of me decided to take control of the situation.

Fine, Sulli, you want your kiss? Fine! Here it is! I thought frustratedly, and I roughly grabbed her shoulders and pressed my lips against hers. She placed both of her hands on either side of my face and pulled my face closer (if that was even possible) pressing her body against mine.

Although I protested in my head, my body was enjoying the sensations much too much. Little angry butterflies with razor wings flew around erratically in my abdomen, thirsting for Sulli's body. The one kiss I was supposed to be giving her to pay off her blackmail turned into several, with little gasps coming from her whenever we separated briefly and then kissed again. I found out that my angry and not-real kissing had turned lustful suddenly, which both confused and deeply scared me at the same time.

I broke our making out, stepping backwards from Sulli, feeling ashamed and angry, and I knew that my face was red. The look on her face was one of satisfaction and she gave me a demure smile again.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked softly. "I'll see you later...hyung." And she calmly turned the corner and walked up the stairs.

I felt the tears welling up as I leaned against the wall, feeling completely like .

When Amber came back to the room she seemed sad, but when I asked what was wrong, she just shot me her goofy grin and said she was just tired. Call me crazy, but I knew something was wrong, even if she denied it all day. And it seemed like she would.

Between classes she'd suddenly brighten up when she saw me, being a little more affectionate than usual, making me giggle as she stole kisses. 

"Get a room, geez," muttered Sulli, doing her homework on the grass. Luna rolled her eyes at Sulli, then gave us a thumbs up.

"Well I think it's great that you two made up," she said supportively, giving us a smile.

Victoria nodded. "Having you two in a fight was really hard on all of us. I'm very glad you made up and are better than ever."

Amber put her arm around my shoulders. "Yeah, well, nothing short of the apocalypse can keep us apart," she said cockily, giving me her lopsided grin.

I laughed and pushed her off of me. "Oh shut up, you idiot."

"Hey, Amber," said Sulli suddenly, looking up from where she was lying on the grass. "Don't you think that the apocalypse is near? Maybe you should be worried about it keeping you and Krystal apart." There was something dangerous in her eyes, and I saw Amber's countenance fall a tiny bit as she struggled to keep her happy composure.

"Oh, well sure, the apocalypse is always close, but I think we can make the best of it," she said, trying to banter.

The look Luna shot Amber made me start to worry. What is going on here? I thought, feeling doubts creep into my heart.

"Well you'd better watch out. After all, it's the apocalypse," said Sulli rather rudely, and gathering up her things, she walked off to her next class.

"What is she talking about?" I asked Amber, my grip on her hand a little tighter because I felt insecure.

"It's nothing, Soojung," said Amber with a gentle smile. "Don't worry."

After dance practice, when Luna, Krystal and Victoria-unnie were in the showers, I confronted Sulli, grabbing her by the arm and taking her out into the hallway, pushing her against the locker room door.

"Look, Ssul, I don't want to do this--" I was interrupted as she grabbed my head and kissed me recklessly, and I pulled back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "What are you doing?!" I asked angrily. "I don't want to do this anymore!"

She snorted. "Obviously you do, or else you wouldn't find the time to get me alone."

"What do you want me to say to you? Do I have to spell it out?! I. Don't. Love. You. Okay? I love Krystal, with all my heart, and I'm not going to keep doing what you want just to keep you quiet!" I said, glaring at her. "You're ruining any chance of a normal relationship between us, and I'm not going to let you screw up my relationship with Krys!"

Sulli glared at me, shoving me back a step. "Fine, have it your way, hyung. But you will regret this." She opened the locker room door and went inside, and I didn't go inside. Instead I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a text to Krystal.

soojung, we need to talk. super important, can't really wait. i love you.

I sent it and waited in the hallway, nervous as hell and wondering if Sulli was telling them all right now about our little "secret". Of course, Luna knew about the initial kiss that Sulli had stolen from me, but she had NO idea of the other kisses I had given her to keep her quiet.

The locker room door opened and it was Krystal, smiling gently at me and fully dressed, rubbing the last of the shower water out of her hair with a small towel.

"I need to tell you something, and it's bad, and you might want to sit down, and I'm really sorry!" I blurted out. She blinked for a moment, a confused look in her eyes, but then she nodded.

"All right. I'm listening." She stood calmly in front of me as I frantically told her everything, about the very first kiss Sulli had gotten me into and then the succeeding kisses of "payment" to keep her from blackmailing me. When I was done, I felt like I was about to collapse. My hands were shaking.

Krystal said nothing. She stared at me, trying to figure me out. Then she nodded, looking down as she bit her lip. When she looked up again at me, her eyes were shimmering with tears.

"I wish you'd told me a lot sooner, Amber," she said softly. "This is a lot to think about. And I think we should have a little time-out. It's obvious that there are some things you can't figure out yet, and maybe if we spend a little time apart, without being angry at each other, we can think about where we should go from here." She walked past me and opened the locker room door, going inside without a look back.

Then I got a text moments later.

At least I heard it from you. =[ 

I nearly threw my phone but I jammed it into my pocket instead, punching the brick wall and grimacing as it hurt.

SLAP! I also nearly fell over from a smack to the face, just as I had punched the wall. I quickly turned to see Luna, looking angry and hurt and confused, and for the first time in her life, disgusted with me.

"You IDIOT!" she raged, pushing me hard. I tripped over my feet, but regained my balance. "What the hell are you doing, messing around with Sulli behind Krystal's back?! Are you really THAT STUPID?!"

"Yeah, I am!" I said angrily. "I am that stupid! But at least Krystal heard it from me, so she knows the truth! I have no idea what crap Sulli just said, but I'm pretty sure I can guess, and if you're just gonna trust what she says, then you're not the friend I thought you were!"

Luna slapped my face again, and I actually did fall over this time, shocked she'd hit me twice. "Well then, here's your wake up call you idiot! I never thought my best friend would CHEAT on my other best friend like a good for nothing !" She turned and threw open the locker room door, marching back inside, leaving me sitting in the hallway, rubbing my face.

We're broken. For now, f(x) is a beautiful memory of a band of best friends, girls who would never turn on each other. And now, here we are, friend against friend, lover against lover, sister against sister.

Sulli speaks to no one. She avoids all of us, and this has hurt Luna's feelings. Amber moved in with Vic-unnie, so Luna is staying with me. Luna cries more than I do. Amber won't speak to her either, and that's got her hurting more than Sulli ignoring her.

Victoria-unnie, Luna and I eat lunch together still. We're the remainder of f(x), surviving from day to day on our friendship. Victoria has also taken the fighting very hard. She's not used to dealing with a subdued, depressed Amber, so when we see her between classes and sit with her at lunch, she talks very soberly about how she's worried about Amber and Sulli and how we need to somehow get the group back together. It's become her obsession lately, and it worries Luna and me how sleep deprived she looks. We've never seen Vic-unnie with circles under her eyes.

It's an understatement to say that right now is a bad time for all of us.

Luna picks at her food for a moment, and then puts down her food, staring longingly across the courtyard. Onew. I'd nearly forgot about her and Onew since all this crap started up in our group.

"You should go talk to him," says Vic offhandedly, with an encouraging smile.

Luna sighs. "I don't know. I'm too depressed to be flirty, and I don't want him to get sick of me. I can't take much more rejection right now."

"Luna," I say, trying to sound happy for her sake. "Onew likes you, a LOT, so I'm sure he'll try to make you happy if he sees you sad. Doesn't he do that all the time? Lift you up if you're not feeling well?"

A half smile works its way onto her face. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Krys." But she doesn't get up.

Victoria prods her. "Come on, Luna. Go. It'll make you feel better."

"Yes, please go, Luna. We want you to have fun," I say.

She stands up, setting her food on the stone bench and brushing off her skirt. "All right. Are you two going to be okay?"

We both laugh, "YES! Now go!" and that's all she needs from us to walk over to Onew.

"At least someone deserves to be happy!" I say with conviction, staring after her as she approaches her boyfriend and starts talking with him. His face has lit up and he's smiling and laughing and talking, happy that she's gone over to him.

Vic-unnie gives me a kind look. "How are you holding up?"

"Me?" I ask, then sigh. "Ah well, things have been much, much better."

Victoria nods. "It's like a living hell in my dorm room right now. Amber is so messy, and I've never seen her so depressed. Even when you two were fighting, this is like a whole new level." She sighs and rubs her eyelids with the tips of her fingers, trying to poke out the memory of Amber's depression in the process. "I guess I'm just so used to having my own room..."

"It's hard to live like that, Vic-unnie," I say, putting my hand on her arm comfortingly.

​I just want her back.

But even I can see that this whole screw up is my fault. Even Sulli isn't nearly to blame half as much as I am.

So, it's time. 

The duffel bag is packed. My half of the room is not only picked up, but actually clean, bed made, floor sparkling, drawers empty. I've got my resignation letter in my pocket to give to the front office before I leave SM Entertainment.

When I hand over the letter to our manager, he looks at me, a mixture of confusion, sadness, and maybe a little resentment.

"So, you're quitting before we can fire you?" he says, just to reiterate what I've said in the letter.

I nod.

"Because you think it's your fault that f(x) is breaking up? Or that f(x) is even breaking up at all?" he says again.

Another nod. 

He sighs, rubbing his face. "Well, I'm sorry, but you can't just resign," he says in a half-sarcastic voice. "SM Entertainment owns you, and you don't leave until we dismiss you. Now go back to your dorm."

I don't, though.

It's out the main doors of SM Entertainment, and to downtown that I go. If I can't leave, at least I can take a bus ride around the city to get my mind off of things.

But thinking was never my best suit. If anything, thinking makes me feel worse.

"Where is she?!" I heard Victoria say frantically when she went into her room. "Her stuff is gone! Quick let's check your room and see if she moved back in!" Then we rush down the hallway to my room and go inside. Luna's stuff is there, and there's no sign that anyone has been here in the past few hours.

Victoria's face drains and turns white as she sits on Luna's bed, trying not to hyperventilate.

"They're going to kill me!" she keeps whimpering to herself. And I realize, there's nothing I can do.

 

[A/N: Hello readers! Sorry it's been a month to wait for an update! I've been busy. And I've started a new fanfic with Darkmisty as coauthor! Please leave plenty of comments! They are my fuel for more updates!]