Her hand reached for mine and our fingers interlaced as we quickly went down the stairs. As soon as we rushed through the hallway and were led to our temporary dressing room by our bodyguard/escorts, she let go of my hand, walking over to the chair where some of her things lay and sitting down on it.

Oh, right. It was just fanservice, after all.

Our make-up artists and  beauty people surrounded us, fixing hair and generally crowding around each of us to check our make up and make sure our hair looked just right. This was a concert, after all, not a music video where you could just call "CUT!" and have a beautician run onto the set to fix someone's glitter that had just fallen off.

Sulli was smiling widely at me, to which I ducked my head and gave her a warm shy smile back. 

"You're so lucky that we have fans that are shipping you!" she said happily. Krystal did not look up, firmly typing something on her phone rather than look up at Sulli...or me.

"But don't you know, Ssul?" teased Luna, dancing up to Sulli and pulling on her tshirt lightly. "They ship you and Amber too!" Krystal's eyes shot up briefly at Luna and Sulli, an unreadable expression in them. But she looked down quickly before they had seen. Our manager appeared in the doorway, looking a little harried.

"Your next number is in three minutes! It's back to back Danger and Nu Abo!" and with that he disappeared again. 

Victoria was hurriedly changing her clothing. "C'mon!" she urged us. "Hurry and change! We're on in a few minutes! You can talk about fan shipping later!" Luna and Sulli obeyed quickly, changing fast. I shrugged off my jacket and pulled off my shirt, quickly pulling on the new ones, before pulling off my baggy shorts to replace them with black skinny jeans covered in small metal squares. I sighed mentally. Who knows who comes up with this stuff, but I sure wouldn't wear this if I had a normal life! I pulled on the pants and got my shoes on, noticing all at once that suddenly Krystal was changed into a pair of short silver shorts and a black flowy top tucked into the front of them. She was tying on a pair of black high heeled boots that stopped at the ankle. 

She caught me staring at her, and I quickly looked away, fixating on my hair in the mirror to pretend like I hadn't just been staring. 

"Let's go, you're on!" Our manager was back, looking like he was about to pull his hair out. Poor man. Concerts were always the most stressful. I was sure that he preferred us making music videos compared to doing concerts any day.

We were rushed back through the hallway and back on stage. I felt my hand being grabbed quickly as we went up the stairs onto the stage, and felt that tiny feeling of warm butterflies rush into my lower abdomen. Then it was bright lights and screaming from thousands of fans, and she and I had to rush to our own places on stage to get ready for the dancing. 

*****

The bus was quiet.  Krystal was sitting next to me, staring calmly out the window with her head leaned back against the seat. Her knees were pressed up against the back of the seat in front of us, my jacket resting on her lap because she'd complained of being chilly.

Luna was sitting across the aisle from me, smiling at her phone. She even accidentally let out a small giggle, and I grinned.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, poking her side playfully. She turned a slight shade of pink and stuck her tongue out at me, slapping my hand away.

"Well it's none of your business!" she said, with a small laugh.

"I know what it is!" chirped Sulli, poking her head over the seat to tease Luna. "Onew is sending you sweet little love-texts again, huh?"

Luna definitely blushed, trying her best to look serious. "No! I was just...checking my twitter!" But she ended up laughing. "It's not that obvious is it Ssul?" she said, pouting a little while trying not to laugh.

I chuckled, smiling my half-lopsided grin. "You better take that kid on a date when we get back from all our concert-going."

She smiled, a "missing-my-love" sort of wistful smile. "Oh, I will." She checked her phone again, and then started typing a text back.

"Well, at least you get to have a real relationship, Luna," I said, a little sadly, but with my goofy smile so I wouldn't be taken so seriously. "I mean, look at all the people in the business that just have to pretend to have a relationship for the love of their fans." I willed myself strongly not to turn and look at Krystal, whose eyes I felt on the back of my head, burning a hole through my hat into my brain.

Sulli gave me a pity-look. "Hyung, don't take it so hard. Some day you'll find a special guy who will hold your heart only. Then you'll be sitting there telling us you're not sending sweet love-texts." Her little warm smile brought a small ray of sunshine to my downcast spirits.

"That'll be the day!" I laughed off her comment, wishing that it could be true...

I was brought out of my thoughts just in time to hear Amber saying, "...at least you get to have a real relationship, Luna." Something pinpricked my heart, and I felt that familiar pang of lonliness hit me, just like it always did when Amber made light of our skinship.

I kept my face turned to the window and I willed myself not to cry. Why did she always have to play like there could only be romance between us or nothing at all? I thought that our close friendship could have been enough, but it seemed that for her it had budded into something deeper than that. And I guess, for myself, it had become a deeper friendship with more meaning for me. I appreciated the skinship we shared, though much of it was vastly public, especially when performing live. I guess I had come to appreciate Amber more for the person she was, and if she were to try and make things complicated, it would probably have some effect of breaking my heart. A heart always breaks when you have to say goodbye to someone you've come to love.

Love? Did I love Amber? I guess I do, in some ways. I don't know if its romantic, though I feel that she feels that way about me. I'm a little scared to approach her about it, because what if everything goes wrong? What if we end up hating each other, instead of this middle-ground we now occupy known as the fanservice skinship state? I'd rather have some form of closeness with Amber than none at all.

I felt her gently poke my shoulder. "Hey, Soojung, we're almost at the hotel, so don't fall asleep just yet."

I let a small smile break onto my face as I turn a little bit. Amber's eyes are caring, as always, ready to do whatever I ask of her. So willing. Is it because she loves me that she's willing to do anything? I think so. 

"Well, then if I fall asleep, you'll just have to carry me to the room," I say.

Amber laughs. "Well if I have to..."

"Good," I reply, and turn back to the window. I do want her to carry me. I want to hold her hand and feel her close to me. It's a feeling a miss, that closeness. I used to have it with my unnie, Jessica, much more, but since we perform in different groups, we hardly get to be close to each other anymore. Without knowing it, my hand has subconciously grabbed Amber's and laced our fingers together. I can see her face starting to turn red as she tries not to make a big deal of it.

Oh what's she doing now, holding my hand like this in private? It's the last thing I need! Can't she feel that when she does this skinship thing it really messes with my mind? If Sulli decides to turn around and look over the seat again, she'll see me blushing like crazy, and then I'll never hear the end of her playful teasing.

But, I don't take my hand away, or unlace my fingers. I know that Krystal needs this closeness, that she needs the emotional anchor it gives her. Why on earth she can't get it from Sulli or Victoria is beyond me. Especially when there are no fans around to do fanservice for.

So, she wants me to carry her into the hotel, huh? Yeah, maybe I will, piggyback style. It's a lot easier to carry someone and not worry about dropping them flat on their face.

[A/N: Thank you for the reviews so far! And I'm very grateful for the corrections I was given on when it was appropriate to use "unnie" and "hyung" xD I don't speak Korean or know any of their words, really, so I'm glad that those of you out there who do gave me some pointers. Anyway, I hope I fixed all the mistakes you guys found :D]