6. Tao
Four Seasons
"Don't forget to love yourself."
Taking in a deep breath of the fresh spring air, Tao takes a step outside of the airport and takes a long gaze at the view of his surroundings, Seoul. He’s finally here.
Be your own person. Zihuan, Tao’s older brother’s words echoed in his head as he waved his hands out for a cab, the backpack hanging on his shoulders the only thing he took with him. Be your own person Tao.
“Where to?” Tao stares at the taxi driver then answers him with a few words a part of his already limited Korean vocabulary.
“Seoul’s Academy of Arts please.”
Sitting in the back seat, Tao stares outside the window and feels his heart race, can I do this?
Ever since Tao was a child he trained day in night to become a martial artist like his elder brother. Tao placed first in many competitions and took on a variety of styles and forms but not once in his life did he feel like he could live up to his deceased brother. In Tao’s heart, his brother had no flaws. He was a kind man who treated others with respect; he took care of their family during times of financial distress and was a world class professional amongst those who understood the sport called Wushu. Tao still remembers following his brother to his classes after school every day. Tao was five when his brother first started competing at the age of fifteen. He would watch his brother train with his peers, sweat pouring from his face and drenching his clothes. Tao would sit on the floor of the practice room with his homework strewn on the floor, untouched, his eyes focused completely on his brother. He wanted to be like him. He wanted to be like the responsible older brother that he looked up to and loved. He wanted to be strong, fierce and confident too. As days went on the five year old Tao would leave his backpack in the back and mimic the movements that his brother’s Sifu taught the class. Tao would follow along thinking that no one noticed, but of course, everyone did. One day after his brother finished with his classed he decided to ask Tao about taking up Wushu lessons.
“Zitao, do you like wushu?”
“Yeah! I want to be like you gege!” Tao still remembers the gentle smile on his brother lips and the way his eye’s softened.
“Well then, how would you like to join the junior class? I talked to Sifu about it and he would love for you to participate.”
“REALLY?!” And Tao still remembers the excitement he felt upon hearing the news. He jumped up and down before his brother hoisted him up in one arm and ruffled his hair with the other.
“Of course, but you have to promise gege one thing okay Zitao?” Tao had nodded his head enthusiastically back then, beyond eager for the days to come. “You can’t let the wushu classes cut into your education. I noticed you haven’t been doing your homework lately. You can promise gege to finish your homework before practicing right?”
“Yeah, I promise!!!” Zihuan chuckled at his younger brother’s bright tone at that time, completely unaware of just how deep he would fall into the sport.
“We’re here.” Tao came out of his daydream and looked at the meter. He fished his wallet out from his bag then paid the driver quickly.
“Thank you.”
With his hands clutching the straps of his backpack tightly, Tao stepped into the school and headed for the office. He walked in slowly; always weary of his actions and how others would perceive them. When he stepped inside, the female receptionist heard his footsteps and looked up at him with a smile.
“Do you need help with something?” Tao pulled out his IPhone and typed in what he heard then a reply in Chinese before the Korean version came spitting back out.
“Can I talk to Miss. Lee?” The receptionist turned to her computer quickly before she remembered that Miss. Lee, the school’s exchange program head, had spoken to her previously about this.
“Ahh you must be the new Chinese exchange student. Follow me.” Tao stood awkwardly as she got up from her seat, motioning him to follow her to the back of the office. She knocked onto one of the doors before a female who couldn’t be any more than a year or two older than Tao pulled it open. “Miss. Lee, the new exchange student is here.”
“Oh he’s right on time! Thank you Saera-shii.” Tao bowed and thanked the receptionist as well when she walked away then turned his attention to Miss. Lee.
“H-hi.” For some reason Tao felt intimidated by her presence, although she stood at a mere 5’3, something about her made Tao feel inferior. Confidence, yes that’s what it is, she seems to have quite a bit of confidence in herself.
“Hi Tao, come on in don’t worry I don’t bite haha.” Miss. Lee spoke to Tao in Mandarin and led him into the room. “You can take a seat here while I get your files out.” Tao sat down in front of her desk gracelessly and set his backpack on his lap. She returned with a small folder then took a seat in front of him.
“You can call me Leiyin jie jie Tao; I’m not much older than you and I like keeping a friendly relationship with the students I work with.”
“Okay, um... Leiyin jie jie.” Leiyin smiled then opened up Tao’s folder, a single sheet was placed inside of it.
“Alright so you’re quite the special case here Tao. Your education records on my computer are rather weak so we’ll have to figure out which core classes for you to enroll here after a few exams but we have your arts classes completed. I saw your audition video personally and have set you into our traditional Chinese dance class as well as the Contemporary dance class. You can pick between Hip Hop and Ballet after trying them out.” Tao listened to her carefully as he tried to digest the words that left her lips. This is really happening.
“We’re really excited to have you a part of our school Tao; you have quite a lot of potential and talent to share. Here is the key to your dorm room, a map of the school and here is your current class list. We’ll have a more updated version completed once you take the skills tests.” Tao stared at his room key then at the schedule before looking back up at Leiyin.
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome Tao; stop by my office if you need help with anything.” Tao bowed a full 90 degrees then left the room. He stared at the map in his hands and followed the directions to where the dorms are situated. Tao walked aimlessly for ten minutes before he finally found the giant red entrance that he’s seen online many times before. Somehow, it felt even bigger in person. Placing his hand onto the silver doorknob, Tao turned it slowly and made his way to his room, number 115. Tao pushed the key into the hole then opened up, the tapping from a keyboard and yelling filled the spacious room. Two bunk beds are inside with one lined on each end of the wall and two large desks sat in the center. Tao walked in and felt his cheeks heat up when the yelling and tapping stopped, three pairs of eyes staring at him.
“H-hi, I’m your new roommate Tao. It’s… um… uh…” Tao froze and grew embarrassed; he pulled out his phone and started to type but a male with large round eye’s stood up with his hands out, stopping him in the process.
“Hi Tao, I’m Kyungsoo, it’s nice to meet you.” He knew what that meant at least. Tao reached his hands out to shake Kyungsoo’s awkwardly.
“Hi Kyungsoo-shii.” Kyungsoo smiled before putting his hand down.
“Just Kyungsoo is fine Tao, we’re all second year students here just like you.” Tao cocked his head to the side, only comprehending half of what he said. A deep voiced laughter filled the air before Kyungsoo blushed this time.
“Uh sorry I meant just call me Kyungsoo.” Tao nodded and chuckled lightly, he seems nice.
“Okay Kyungsoo.” A tall male with curly blonde hair then stood up, his giant hands extended for Tao to shake.
“I’m Chanyeol! It’s nice to meet you Tao.” Tao’s eye’s widened at the voice that came out of his pretty face, shaking his hands in shock while bowing his head slightly.
“It’s nice to meet you too Chanyeol.” Next a skinny male with dark brown hair came up to Tao.
“Baekhyun, it’s nice to meet you Tao.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too Baekhyun.” After shaking hands with the last of his roommates Tao stood at the front door, not knowing what to say. His three roommates exchanged a few glances before they started speaking to each other in rapid Korean that left Tao dumbfounded.
“Do any other Mandarin speaking student’s dorm here Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulder at Baekhyun’s question then turned to Chanyeol.
“Do you know any?” The new semester had only just started and not many people were sure of who had returned to the dorms and who have left to live in the apartment buildings by the academy. It’s currently six PM and no classes are in session, most of the Chinese students they know would have left by now.
“Uh… Oh wait! Lay hyung might still be dancing! I’ll go check!” Chanyeol bounced up from his bed and left the room while the other two simply stared at Tao with nervous smiles. Tao had a feeling that he would like it here.
Snores filled the room as Tao laid in the bottom bunk, Kyungsoo sleeping soundly in the bed above his. He rested on his side as more memories flooded his head.
"Me? But what can I do? I'm... I'm just... Me..." Tao practically whispers the ending of his sentence, staring down at his feet as he lets out a deep sigh. His actions, his tone and his lack of confidence in himself makes you wonder why doesn't he see what you see.
Smiling at the puzzled male in front of you, you respond with what you believe to be the most obvious answer out there.
"That's exactly it Tao, there’s nothing more and nothing less, it's because you're you."
Tao sighs and wonders how his childhood friend doing. You’re the one who told him to record the dance video for this school and the one who had personally helped him send it as well. He’ll have to remind himself to thank you once he figures out how to install Chinese writing into the computers here. Tao closed his eyes and shifted to another more comfortable position. Be your own person Tao. With a small smile on his face Tao fell asleep, excited for the dance classes to come.
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