3. Chen
Four Seasons
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
It’s that time of the year again; auditions for high school students to attend Seoul’s Academy of Arts are starting. Chen walks past the line of nervous students and heads towards his seat in front of the judges table. Yes, Kim Jong Dae, a second year student at Seoul’s Academy of Arts is one of this year’s student judges for those who plan to major in voice.
“Ah, Chen, you’re here.” Chen’s private vocal coach and professor here at the Academy, Ms. Han waved at him in a friendly manner. Chen felt his heart race at the way she said his name, the wonderful nickname she gave him two years ago.
“Hi Ms. Han.” Chen sat down quickly and averted his gaze from her dark green orbs. Her long brown hair is curled and brought to one side today, complimenting her pale complexion.
“Have you seen Lay? He’s supposed to be the student judge for the dancers…” Chen shrugged at her question and looked around.
“No, but you know how he is. He’ll probably get here seconds before we start, I’ll bet that he’s practicing somewhere right now.”
“Ahh true, true, that kid never knows when to stop!” Chen cringed at the word kid, Lay is Chen’s senior here and for him to be called a kid made Chen one as well.
“Haha yeah…” Chen looked at the sheets of papers in front of him and took out a blue pen. They’ll be starting soon.
Lay comes running in at this moment.
“Sorry! I was practicing and lost track of time!” He bowed at everyone at the table including Chen before sitting down next to Mr. Song, the dance department head.
“It’s alright, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.” Mr. Song reorganized his things and waited a few more minutes to allow for the judges to get prepared.
“Okay, please bring in the students numbered 1 to 10.”
Chen yawned as he jotted down notes for all the students who sang during their audition. He would circle the ones with potential and put a star next to those who impressed him along with a few words regarding their pitch, tone, control and range. Over an hour has passed and less than half the students have been called.
“Number 156 and 157 will be doing a contemporary piece together.” Chen set his pen down and watched the two dancers, he recognized them immediately. They have been quite the gossip amongst the freshmen’s here at the academy. They were scouted but wanted to be fair and decided to attend the auditions together anyways… what were their names again? Ah right, Kai and Minjung. Chen watched them in awe, although he majored in voice he knew a few things about dance as well, he can see why they’re such a hot topic.
“Thank you.” The two dancers bowed before leaving the gym hand in hand. Guess the rumours about the two of them dating are true.
“Alright! Ten minute break before the auditions resume.”
Chen let out a groan and stood up, stretching his limbs.
“Haha, tired already?” Chen looked down to see Ms. Han smiling up at him. The butterflies in stomach must be acrobats or something; he was extremely flustered at the way she looked at him.
“Ah, yeah…” Chen sat down again trying to think of something to say.
“Do you still need help after school today?” Ms. Han put her hand on top of Chen’s in a friendly manner, completely unaware of the effect she has on her student.
“Oh uh… Yeah, I can’t seem to control my head voice properly.” Chen’s face flushed at the contact he had with his mentor.
“Alright, after the auditions we’ll take a break and I’ll meet you in the music room at four?”
“Yeah, sounds good to me. Thank you Ms. Han.”
“Anything for my star pupil.” Right, her star pupil.
Ever since the first time his parents brought her home Chen knew she was special. This was three years ago and before he went to the academy. His parents hired her as his personal vocal coach since they wanted Chen to flourish in his new found talent. A seventeen year old Chen fell in love with his Chinese vocal coach, a twenty five year old a married woman. Well, she was married. Her husband passed away in a car accident last year, leaving her on her own. She still kept his last name though and that bothered Chen. It bothered him knowing he’ll never be as important as that man in her eyes. He doesn’t know when he truly acknowledged his feelings for her but by the time he figured it out; it was too late to turn back. From the way her voice sounded when she spoke, and sang to the way her long brown hair flowed down her flawless face, Chen was mesmerized. Chen even fell in love with the dark green in her eyes and the way the sides of them would crinkle slightly when she smiled. Eight years, that’s not a big difference right? Chen has always tried to convince himself that age doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to love but he doesn’t even know if she’d ever love him back. His parents would never approve either. In their opinion she wouldn’t be good enough, not for someone with a family background like Chen’s. They only want what’s perfect for Chen but in Chen’s eye’s she’s perfect. Ahh taboo, that’s what they called this. You’re not supposed to love your mentor but he does, in fact, Chen loves her with all his heart He knows just how wrong it is but how is he supposed to stop himself when everything feels so right?
“Chen? Chen?”
Chen snapped out of his gaze from Ms. Han waving her hands in front of his face.
“Are you alright?”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that, I was just thinking about something.”
“Okay, we’re starting the auditions again.”
Chen moved to a comfortable position in his seat and got ready for another round of talented students showing them everything they have to join this prestigious school.
After the auditions finished at three o’clock Chen grabbed food at the school cafeteria then headed to studio one, the music room he always practices in. He sat in front of the piano and took out the music scores to the song’s he’s been working on. “What is Love” and “My Lady” are two of his favourites, and inspired by no other than Ms. Han. Playing the piano accompaniment, Chen start to warm up by humming to “What is Love” first, he then proceeded to do lip trills to a variety of scales. He did a couple more breathing exercises then stretched out his neck, chest and hips. By the time Chen finished it was already four, Ms. Han will be here soon. He put his music scores back into the bag and set it onto the floor nicely.
“Hi, Chen. All warmed up?” Ms. Han pulled a seat next to the piano and sat down.
“Yeah, all warmed up.”
“Alright, so which song were you having troubles with?”
“Jongyup’s Nothing Better.” Chen has an incredible range, solid technique and an extremely strong voice but this is where the problem lies; Chen’s voice is so strong that he has trouble controlling the delicate sounds of a head voice. Although it sounded good to his fellow classmates, he was still unhappy with the airy tone that was carried through.
“Where is it that you need help with?”
“I can’t seem to get the sound I want when I sing in my falsetto.” Chen then demonstrated how he sings the song to Ms. Han.
“Ije sumcheoreom nae gyeot-e hangsang swi-myeo geureohge isseojumyeon
Nothing better, nothing better than you
Nothing better, nothing better than you”
Nothing better, nothing better than you
Nothing better, nothing better than you”
“I don’t have trouble with the notes but the tone is airy and irritating to my ears.” Ms. Han nodded her head and thought about it for a few seconds before speaking.
“The way your singing the song is perfectly fine in terms of technique and the quality is there as well. I believe the airy tone you speak of is because you’re not carrying through the song with the right amount of emotions. Without the support of your feelings, the song sounds empty and lacks life. Technique and breath control can only take you so far. How about you try and think about someone you’ve liked before while singing? It should help draw out the right emotions.” Chen his dry lips and swallowed his saliva nervously… someone he’s liked? Chen took in a deep breath and imagined what it would be like to be with Ms. Han.
“Ije sumcheoreom nae gyeot-e hangsang swi-myeo geureohge isseojumyeon
Nothing better, nothing better than you
Nothing better, nothing better than you”
Nothing better, nothing better than you
Nothing better, nothing better than you”
Chen stopped singing and looked over at Ms. Han nervously while she sat there stunned.
“Chen! That was absolutely amazing, I’ve heard you belt your heart out to a variety of songs before but this was refreshing and different. Absolutely stunning, you must have a special someone in your heart right now am I right?”
“Thanks and uh… yeah.” Chen looked down at his hands, too bad she’ll never know.
“Oh that’s adorable! What is she like?”
“Um well, she’s really friendly and likes to take care of those around her. She’s outgoing as well and lights up any room the moment she walks in. Her smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on and… she’s just perfect. Yeah.” Chen cleared his throat awkwardly after he finished speaking.
“Wow Chen, she sounds amazing. She’s a lucky girl to have someone like you like her!”
“I-I guess.”
“What do you mean I guess? Of course she is! You’re such a kind and sweet boy, you’re not my favourite student just because you’re one of the better singers Chen. I enjoy my classes with you because of your personality as well!” Ms. Han patted Chen’s head lightly and smiled. “Jia You!”
Chen smiled back weakly.
“Yeah, jia you… thanks Ms.Han.”
“Alright, is there anything else you’d like me to help you with?” Chen glanced down at his book bag but decided against it. Those two songs are for his ears only; he doesn’t need her to know just how much she affects him, especially if she thinks it’s another female that he likes.
“No, that’s everything. Thank you Ms. Han, I’ll see you tomorrow when we pick the people who passed the audition.”
“You’re very welcome Chen, come ask me whenever you need help with anything. See you tomorrow!”
Chen grabbed his book bag, bowed one last time and left the music room. He took his keys out of his pockets and walked across the melting snow in the parking lot. He opened his car door and went inside, and just sat there, his feet soaking wet from the muddy waters he stepped in.
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