5. Suho
Four Seasons"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."
Pouring skim milk into the foam machine, Suho waits for it to heat up before creating a heart shaped design his customer requested for his dark hot chocolate. Suho chuckled at the awkward male in front of him, must be for a girl he likes. Suho glances towards his manager to make sure he isn’t looking and places two biscuits onto the side of the plate.
“These will go perfectly with her drink, good luck!”
“Oh wow, thanks man! I owe you one.”
“Haha don’t worry about it, you’re welcome.”
Suho couldn’t hide the warm feeling he felt as the customer walked back to his table to a smiling female. Worth it. He takes three dollars from his wallet and puts it into the cash register.
Suho spends the next three hours making drinks at Springs Café, a part time job he got two years ago. His face is sore from maintaining a smiling expression and his legs ache from standing straight for so long but he never complains. It helps pay for the fee’s that his scholarships don’t cover and he even calls this his stress reliever from his studies. As a fulltime law student at the University of Seoul, Suho is already having trouble trying to stay awake from his late night studying so the last thing he wants to do is to worry his grandmother. He missed one of his scholarship interviews after receiving a call about her getting a heat two years ago but decided it’d be best to hide it from her and make the additional money on his own. The law school he attends is in downtown right by this café so coming here right after school isn’t a big deal in his opinion. After making the last drink for his last customer of the day Suho rushes out back and changes out of his uniform. He sets his things in the locker neatly and makes sure he’s got everything he needs in his bag before leaving the change rooms. He exits and bows politely to his two coworkers and manager on his way out. On top of his good looks and dashing smile, Suho is known as quite the gentlemen with an extremely respectful personality. He’s a spitting image of his late father with a personality similar to that of both his late mother and his grandmother.
“Halmoni, I’m home!” Suho puts his backpack down and takes off his shoes before wearing his slippers. His grandmother, a petite and kind looking old lady with a head full of grey hair leaves the kitchen and greets her grandson.
“Ohh, Joonmyunnie, how was class? Did you study hard with your friends at the library again? It’s already seven!”
“Ne halmoni, I left you a note this morning before leaving, didn’t you see it?”
“Hmm? A note? Ahh! Right, I saw that this morning, it must have slipped my mind. Halmoni’s memory isn’t so good lately.” Suho smiled weakly at her comment.
“That’s alright; did you have dinner yet then halmoni?” Suho’s grandmother shakes her head.
“I was waiting to have dinner with you. Come on go and get ready, I’ll go heat up the food, you must be starving from working so hard.”
Suho changes into a set of comfortable clothes and takes a seat in front of his grandmother on the floor, their small dining table filled with his favourite dishes. His bowl is filled to the brim with rice and a plate of his grandma’s specially made kimchi sitting on a plate directly in front of him.
“Jalmeokesumneda! Thank you for the food halmoni.” Taking his chopsticks Suho grabs most of the meat and places them into his grandmother’s bowl before digging in himself.
“Joonmyunnie, halmoni can’t eat all this. You need to eat up; you’re working so hard every day.” Picking up her own chopsticks, Suho’s grandmother places the meat onto Suho’s bowl.
“But Halmoni.”
“No buts. Eat up; halmoni is already full knowing you enjoy the food I make.” Suho surrenders and eats the meat in his bowl but continues to place other food items into his grandmother’s bowl.
Dinner between Suho and his grandmother often ended up this way. They two of them care more about the other than they do themselves. Suho’s grandmother is the only immediate family member he had left. His parents passed away in a car accident when he was eight and his grandfather had passed away before he was even born. He has very few memories of his parents but he doesn’t mind, his grandmother has done an amazing job taking care of him. Taking on the role of both his father and mother, Suho’s grandmother is the reason why he grew up into such a respectable and fine young man. From his manners to his values and morals, she made sure Suho would put his focus on his studies for a better future. Although they were poor and went through many tough times, the support from one another helped them push past their hardships. Suho can still remember when he first got accepted into law school, his grandmother cried tears of joy from how proud she was. She knew he could do it.
Dinner between Suho and his grandmother often ended up this way. They two of them care more about the other than they do themselves. Suho’s grandmother is the only immediate family member he had left. His parents passed away in a car accident when he was eight and his grandfather had passed away before he was even born. He has very few memories of his parents but he doesn’t mind, his grandmother has done an amazing job taking care of him. Taking on the role of both his father and mother, Suho’s grandmother is the reason why he grew up into such a respectable and fine young man. From his manners to his values and morals, she made sure Suho would put his focus on his studies for a better future. Although they were poor and went through many tough times, the support from one another helped them push past their hardships. Suho can still remember when he first got accepted into law school, his grandmother cried tears of joy from how proud she was. She knew he could do it.
“Ahh that was delicious, thank you for the meal!” Suho patted his stomach with a large smile plastered on his face. After resting for a few minutes to allow for his food to digest Suho puts his bowl away and packed up all the left over foods, he’ll take those to school for lunch tomorrow. He turned around and saw his grandmother washing the cloth to wipe the tables and quickly took it from her.
“Halmoni, your back isn’t so good lately, let me do it for you.”
“Aigo, thank you Joonmyunnie.” Suho wiped the table quickly then folded it, placing it next to their mini fridge. He leaves the room and sees his grandmother sitting on the living room couch while knitting.
“Halmoni, why don’t you get some rest?” He doesn’t like how she’s straining her eyes.
“No, no, halmoni isn’t tired at all. I need to finish these so you’ll have a new blanket and warm clothes to wear for the winter next year. Halmoni’s eyesight isn’t too good anymore; I don’t think I’ll be able to knit too well soon. It’s going to take me months to finish these.” Suho frowned and felt guilty that he couldn’t make enough money to provide a better lifestyle for him and his grandmother. She herself still has to sell kimchi and pancakes to make a living. In just a few more years though he’ll finish law school, he’ll work hard to become one of the best lawyers in Seoul and allow for his grandmother to live in comfort.
“Here, let me help you with some of these.” Suho sat down next to his grandmother and pick up a needle and a ball of yarn.
“Don’t you need to study?”
“I did enough studying for today halmoni, I’ll stay here and help you for a bit okay?”
Suho woke up again at six the next day, getting ready quick before making breakfast for both him and his grandmother. Plain congee with some kimchi on the side, it isn’t much but it’s better than nothing. After he finished his breakfast he writes a note down for his grandmother, he’s got work again today.
“Halmoni! I won’t be home until eight today, please don’t wait for me and eat dinner if you’re hungry! I hope the congee I made is smooth enough, I’ll see you soon.
Love, Joonmyun”
Love, Joonmyun”
Suho sets the note on the mini fridge then closes the lid to the pot of congee. She’ll be up in half an hour. He heads to the front door and slips into his shoes, while walking to the bus stop Suho goes over yesterday’s notes in his head. It’s the best way to utilize all the time he spends walking and sitting on the bus, the school is quite a ways from home but there’s no way that Suho can afford a car.
“Oh, Suho-shii!” Suho smiles and waves to his classmate, Kaeun. He’s never seen her here before.
“Ah, good morning Kaeun-shii.” Suho walks over and takes a seat next to her.
“Do you always take this bus Suho-shii?”
“Um, yeah, how come you’re here today? I’ve never seen you on here before.”
“Oh, my father is on a business trip in Jeju so I have to bus for the next two weeks.”
“Ahh, I see. Well then, I guess I’ll keep you company for two weeks.”
The two classmates continued to make small talk until they arrived at school. They walked to class together, both taking their notes out to review before class started.
Another long day at school went by but like always Suho never complains. He’s actually thankful that although he’s poor he can still receive an education and an opportunity to better himself. He said goodbye to his classmates and greeted his teachers in the halls. As he heads out the front gates to go to work, his classmate Kaeun comes sprinting towards him.
“Suho-shii! Lee seonsaengnim told me to come get you, they said that there’s a phone call for you at the front desk.”
“Oh really? Thank you Kaeun-shii.” Suho went towards the front desk and the receptionist gave him the phone right away. It seemed rather urgent.
“Hello?”
“Hi, are you Joonmyun-shii?”
“Ah, yes, yes I am.”
“Hi, I’m a receptionist at the Seoul hospital. Your grandmother has been admitted to the hospital, I suggest you come here ASAP. She’s in room 204.” Suho dropped the phone before saying goodbye and sprinted out the doors, ignoring his professors calling for him and the questioning stares from his fellow classmates.
Standing in front of the room labelled 204; Suho felt his hands shake as he opened the door. The sight in front of him inflicted an enormous amount of pain to his caring heart.
“Halmoni…” Suho stood at the entrance, dumbfounded. The doctor in the room sees this and approaches him first.
“You must be her grandson. I’m sorry but she’s very weak right now, it’s only a matter of time before the inevitable.” Suho felt tears welling in his eyes.
“H-how did this happen?”
“She was brought here by a neighbor of yours, apparently she fell down a few flight of stairs. We did our best with her injuries but there is only so much we can do with her deteriorating health. Her body has reached its breaking point.”
Suho looked up at the doctor then back at his grandmother. A painful expression is displayed on her usually calm face. Her eyes are still closed and Suho prays that they don’t remain that way.
“Halmoni…” Suho feels physical pain from his grandmother’s current state; it hurts him so much to see her like this. He stood still, small drops of tears falling from his eyes as the doctor took the clipboard from his grandmother’s bed. Suho didn’t bother to ask why, he didn’t want to know.
“Joonmyunnie?” A weak and airy voice calls for Suho and he feels his heart ache further. His grandmother’s eye’s flicker open, calling Suho over. “Joonmyunnie, my precious grandson, come over here. Stop crying alright? Halmoni doesn’t like seeing you cry.” Knees weak and face stained with tears, Suho walks over to his grandmother’s bedside and clutches her hand lightly. His lower lip quivers as his grandmother’s breathing starts to slow down.
“I’m sorry halmoni, I should have been there.” Suho bit the insides of his cheeks after speaking to stop his tears; halmoni doesn’t want to see him cry so he won't.
“Don’t be sorry, halmoni is aging and getting weak that’s all. It’s a part of the cycle of life Joonmyunnie.” She took in a few laboured breaths; her eye’s fluttering closed then opening up slowly.
“Halmoni?”
“Joonmyunnie, it’s almost time… don’t be too sad alright?”
“No! Halmoni, please, please don’t go. What will I do without you?” His vision becomes blurred by the tears that fall from his eyes, his entire body shaking from his panicked state.
“Joonmyunnie, be strong. I know you’ll do just fine. You’ve grown up to be a fine young man and I’m sure you’ll do great things. Make halmoni proud, I love you.” Suho’s grandmother lifts up her hands to brush the tears off of his face before they fell limply to her side, motionless.
“Halmoni!!!!!! You haven’t seen me succeed yet! I haven’t even been able to repay you for all these years that you have taken care of me. Halmoni, you can’t sleep, you have to wake up! Please, halmoni!” Suho felt the doctor’s hand on his shoulder, an attempt to comfort him.
“I’m sorry son, but she’s gone.”
Suho buried his face into his hands and wept. The tears he held in when people used to bully him, calling him names like “orphan” and “unwanted”, the tears he pushed back whenever he and his grandmother didn’t make enough money to feed their hungry stomachs and the tears he hid whenever he thought about his tough childhood all came flooding out at once. He wanted to be strong but it’s just so hard. How can he stay strong when the reason he’s still alive is now gone?
“Halmoni…”
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