I got into my car, revved up the engine and drove off, assailed by doubts and regrets…

The sky was flushed with the gold of dawn; “The fresh air will soon put the roses back in her cheeks” I murmured quietly to myself.

Nothinghappened last night. Nothing

************************

Tina's point Of View:

It was a cold and long night. Doojoon disappeared on the double and now I’m just standing here; right in front of my house, thinking about what happened to me in just one day, an experience I will long remember.

To begin with, I ran from the cops, met by chance a guy who saved me “ How kind it was of him”, not one time but twice, and now I can’t help wondering what will happen to me tomorrow. I must admit that I’m really unable to control my own destiny…

Outside, the wind was as wild as ever. I walked a few paces across the lawn; the tree had buds and a few open flowers. I then reached the doorstep. I knocked many time in the door but no one answered.

“Open up! Mum!” I called, flapping my arms to drive away the permeating cold.

I have to wait till my mum comes home.

I hope that she’ll come soon or I’ll freeze to death standing here.

“I better try to call her ” I took my phone and dialed her number.

“If I’m not there, leave a message on the voice mail, I’ll call you later. Bye” I immediately hung up, I was angry that she didn’t even try to call me.

I crossed my arms, my knees were knocking and my lips quivering. I leaned against the wall, when something touched my hand. I took it. “What can it be?” My eyes were all blurry and I couldn’t see proper… “An envelope?” I said in a murmur.

I opened it; here’s what I could read:

22-02-2011

To my baby,

Baby girl, it’s your mommy, how are you doing? How’s everything? Did you eat? I didn’t have the opportunity to see you, not to call you today, I’m sorry about that. The moment you’re reading this letter, I’ll be far away from you. I’m in a critical situation where I’m unable to pay off my debts; we always had a financial crisis since your dad left us. I wish it to be clearly understood.

“What is this crazy Ajhumma doing again?” You may well ask. My lovely girl, as you certainly know, we’ve been through a bad time; I have never been a good mother to my one and only daughter; you. I’m sorry if I had upset you.

They said that: Too much happiness in this life could reduce the chances of salvation in the next, so let’s just hope for a better second life.

Eomma decided to start a new life in Russia. You’ll probably think, “Why is even my own family giving me the cold shoulder when I need them the most?” But I promise that I always loved you more than Rex, even if I tried to not let my relief show, and I wanted you to know it.

It is cold there, isn’t it? You can’t demand the keys from our neighbor because we’ve lost our house as well as all what we owned. I think that’s all, take care of yourself miss Tina. Live well, live for yourself; you’re capable of thinking and acting for yourself so I don’t have to worry.

When you’ll finish reading this letter, you’ll have to do things on your own without anyone to help you. Jjeonmal Mianhé if I was a bit brusque. This is my final goodbye. Don’t call me anymore. Jebbal.

MP: Look under the carpet, you’ll find some money.

Sincerely yours,

Eomma

I couldn’t take my swollen eyes off the piece of paper; there was a slight breeze that riffled my hair as I fell down, crying out loud for my “mommy” like a little girl would do.

“Why does it have to be that w-way? Why didn’t you tell me be-before?” I shouted, tapping my feet on the ground.

“How da-dare you act like if you really car-care?” “Eomma miwoheyo! I hate you for what you’ve just done to me”. I wept.

“Eomma Ottokééé? I’m not crying for the moon! I just wanted to have a normal relation with you, a relation I can be proud of!” I let out a piercing scream.

I was cold and exhausted; I then fell asleep in the doorway.

Early, in the morning:

It was a little after eight in the morning; I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I felt strangely subdued as a tear rolled down my cheek.

There’s no turning back; this letter forced me to face facts, I’m not going to cry any longer. I wiped away the tear with my cloth and tied my hair back in a bow.

“Fighting!” I shouted to encourage myself.

“Well, let’s see…My first problem is where to live, my second one is to look for a job with a good salary, and my third one is how to do the two of them in just exactly one day!”

Pondering, I struck upon a brilliant idea.

I knocked two times on our neighbor’s door wich it opened to the full extent revealing an old woman who greeted me warmly.

“Annyonhaseyo Harmoni” I smiled and bowed.

“Oh! My baby! It’s been a long time since you came to my house.” She held me tightly then added, “Let’s go inside, it’s freezing”.“Gomawo harmoni” I said.

She smiled at me and then went back into the house. I followed her.

“Did you have breakfast?” She asked me, pulling the door to behind her.

“No, I didn’t. I have to reload the furniture from our house, actually we’re moving on.” I replied, feeling upset.

“I already know, your mother came to see me yesterday at 6pm, she told me that she’s going to Russia because of her financial problems, she added that she’s not going to comeback again to Korea, not after a quite long period of time.” She commented while putting some more wood on the fire.

“Well, I see that I was the only one who didn’t know…” I replied, nearly in tears.

“Don’t cry, it will be all right” She hugged me and kissed my forehead. I swallowed hard, sniffing back my tears.

“I’ll prepare us a healthy breakfast, sit down and make yourself at home.” She went to the kitchen.

She came back after approximately 10 minutes, holding a plate of Kimchi, delicious home backed brown bread, two bowls of vegetable soup, rice and some pieces of cake. The food smelled and tasted good.

“Hmm! Harmoni! Your vegetable soup is the best! You really are a good cook.” I said taking a mouthful of vegetable soup.

“Overcooked vegetables won’t look appetizing, no matter how they are plated that’s why you have to cook them carefully”. She explained, giving me a wooden spoon.

“It’s asking a lot, but can I stay in your house for some days, Harmoni? I’ll find a place to live in as soon as possible.” I promised.

She watched me as I ate, then added: “ Do join me for lunch, I’ll prepare something delicious for you”.

I guess it’s a yes, isn’t it? I made as if to leave the house.

“You can move in, starting this minute.” She replied as a response to my confused look.

“Ow! Harmoni Gomawo! Jjongmal Gamsahamnida!” I ran to her and stuck around her neck. I was gripped by a feeling of excitement.

“You’d better hurry if you want to find a job” She hurried me to the door. “ Good luck!” She wished then pecked me on the cheek.

I went to the kiosk and bought a newspaper to search for a part-time job that will fit me.