“I don’t want to be with you anymore!”

            I looked at my girlfriend in disbelief.  “What?  Why?”

            She looked away from me.  “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore…”  Her voice had lowered.  Lizzie set the ring I gave her on my dresser and left my room.

            I felt like she’d stabbed me in the chest with a knife.  Lizzie and I are…through?  We’re really over?  How can this be?  I sat on the end of my bed and put my head down, trying to see through the tears.  There has to be a reason for this.  She wouldn’t just up and leave like this.  What’s changed between us?

            “Lizzie, what’s wrong?”  I heard Kevin ask her.

            “Leave me alone Kevin.  Please, just leave me alone.”  Her voice broke as she talked to him.

            You’re crying and you’re the one who broke up with me in such a cold manner?  Why?  What am I supposed to do now?

            I wept with my head down.  The pain in my chest was unbearable.  I couldn’t stand it.  I just lost the love of my life.  I was tempted to go to her and beg her to tell me why, but I couldn’t stop sobbing.

            I cried myself to sleep.

            When I woke, I expected to find her lying beside me, watching me sleep or peacefully sleeping herself, but there was no trace of Lizzie anywhere.

            “Why did you leave baby?  Was it something I said?  Was it something I did?”  I sat up and clutched my heart.  I felt pain in my chest due to the extreme heartache I was suffering through.

            Some people say that having your heart broken has no physical damage, but what do they know?  Obviously they’ve never had someone they love so much that they would give their life for that person, or they’re the ones who do the heart breaking.

            I got out of my bed and took a shower before I left the dorm.  I sensed someone following me, but I didn’t turn around as I walked.  “Kevin, Hoon, why are the two of you following me?”

            “We can’t be worried about one of our best friends?”

            “Just leave me alone.”  I walked into the club we always went to and sat down at a table.

            Hoon and Kevin sat down after I ordered a drink.

            “You know what drinking does to you, Eli.”

            “I don’t care.  I need the alcohol.”  I poured a shot after the waitress who’d gotten my drink order set a bottle of vodka on the table.  I downed it in one go, feeling the burn the fiery liquid sent down my throat.

            Kevin and Hoon just sighed and downed one as well.

            “ Eli, how can you stand this?”  Kevin coughed a couple times.

            “You get used to it.”  I poured a third shot.

            “You know once you get drunk, we’re cutting you off.”  Hoon said.

            “As long as I’m drunk, I’m cool with that.”  The liquor finally started to dull my senses.  I felt someone sit beside me and looked over.

            Of all girls it had to be in the world, it was my ex girlfriend Mi Cha.  I thought she’d stayed in the states but apparently not because she was rubbing my leg.

            “Hi Eli.”

            “What the do you want Mi Cha?”  I tossed back a fifth shot.

            “I want you baby.”

            I brushed her hand off my leg.  “Go away.  I don’t want to see you.”

            “Eli, who’s broken your heart?”

            I glared at her.  “You really think that’s why I’m drinking?”

            “Baby, that’s the only reason you ever do drink.”

            I looked away and that was a big mistake.  I saw her walking in with Super Junior’s Eunhyuk.  My senses were slightly dulled, but I was nowhere near complete drunkenness.  It was easy to recognize her.

            Kevin saw my expression and looked behind his shoulder.  “Hoon, move for a second.”

            Hoon slid out of the booth to let Kevin out.

            I watched Kevin walk over to her.

            She looked at him when he stood in front of her and took her hand.  Her lips formed the word “hey” in English.

            Mi Cha saw my face and followed my vision.  “Is she the one baby?”  was up in a smirk.  She got on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, taking advantage of my distraction.  My ex pressed her lips onto mine.

            I pushed her off of me onto the other side and saw Li go upstairs with Eunhyuk.  I was fixing to follow her when Kevin stopped me.

            “She doesn’t want to see you Eli.  Why can’t you just let her go?”

            “Because she’s mine and I love her!”

            Kevin wrapped his arms around me as I buried my face in my hands.  “I know you love her.”

            “Kevin, do you know why she left?”

            “Not a clue.”

            I stared at the ground, tears blinding me once again.  “What’d you say to her?”

            “I told her what you were doing.  You should’ve seen the look on her face.  She might’ve come over if not for Mi Cha’s little stunt.”

            “,” I muttered.

            He pulled my arm slightly.  “We can still find her.  I know the one place she always is.  Hoon, come on!”  Kevin dragged me and Hoon upstairs.

            “Why’d you tell her?  She gets so pissed at me when I drink.”

            Kevin made me sit down.  “Look over there.”  He nodded his head.

            I glanced towards where he nodded.  “She looks upset.”

            “No Sherlock.  You know how she is.”

            She leaned against the wall after Eunhyuk walked away to a table.  She looked straight at me and pointed at me.

            “Oh ,” I muttered.

            Lizzie gave me the “come here” beckon with her index finger.  “Now,” she mouthed.

            “Thanks a lot Kevin.  Now she’s pissed off at me.”  I got up and went to Lizzie.

            When she was pissed off, she was scary as hell.  She wouldn’t hold back to tell you what was bothering her when she was mad.

            I stopped in front of her, but I didn’t look at her.

            Li grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me down to eye level with her.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Eli?”

            I gulped.  I could see the anger in her face, but in her eyes, I saw pain.

            “You’re just making this harder for me, you know,” she said softly.

            “Li, I,” I started, but she cut me off.

            “Don’t say anything.  Not one goddamn word, Eli,” she looked at me.  “Got me?”

            I nodded, then I saw the tears forming in her eyes.

            “Why did this have to happen now?”  She blinked furiously, trying to make them go away.

            I pulled her into my arms, crushing her to me.  I rubbed her back as she cried.

            “You , why did you have to do this to me?”  She clung to me, crying out everything.

            “Li-Li, why did you leave?”

            “You can’t know that.”

            “Don’t I have a right to?”

            “I’ll tell you when the time is right.  The timing now Eli.”  She slapped me across the face.  “That’s for making me cry .”  She pulled me down and kissed me.  “But this is for not getting completely drunk,” she murmured.  Li pulled back, looking into my eyes.  “I have to go baby,” she whispered and walked away fast after putting something in my hand.

            I opened my hand and saw a necklace in my palm with a note underneath it.

            With true love, faith is needed from both people.  Wear the cross to show your faith to me.  I have the compliment version of this one, and it’s black.  But I wear the one on the bottom of this paper instead.  When I’m ready Eli, I’ll tell you everything.  For now, just stay the hell away from me.  If you see me in public, don’t acknowledge me verbally.  I’ll just make you wait longer for the truth. – LES

            I went over to the table with the cross still in my palm.  I sat down, staring down at it.

            “What’d she say Eli?”

            “She slapped the hell out of me because I made her cry, but then she kissed me and left me this.”  I let him read the note and put the chain around my neck, looking at the cross.

            Kevin set the paper back in my hand.  “Let’s go home.  You don’t need to get drunk Eli.  Besides, I’m scared that if you do, your stalker ex girlfriend will be trying to take advantage of you.”

            I nodded.  “Let’s go.”  I followed them back to our dorm, but I couldn’t sleep.  I sat on my bed with my laptop in front of me.  I looked through the photos of Lizzie and me.  I smiled because I found the first picture we’d ever taken together.