I just finished reading this tonight
And I was failing my arms non-stop and crying because it's so overwhelming. To be honest, you made me feel like throwing a wall or punching Dae Hyun because I cannot contain my fangirl feels for him.
Also, the way you flashed bits of the past was very nice and it created more impact rather than just narrating it from the very start. :3
I decided to read this since it was a finished product and it was short. XD
It was a cute story though a little cliche but I enjoyed it~ I grew very fond of the main character and I don't hate JiEun...but something about her personality really irked me...maybe because she was too fangirl perky...and kinda artificial...I mean...she really only liked DaeHyun from a fangirl point of view...I dunno...that's just me being a harsh jerk. XD
DaeHyun...reminds me a lot of HimChan in this story...which therefore makes me want to smack him about 80% of the time throughout the story.
By the way...I found it really freaky how everyone in the school knew everything the day after it happened...O____O But my gosh...I'm sure news travels fast especially now with the internet.../shivers/
By the way, I appreciate the change in style by having the story in the present talking about the past. ^ ^
I'm actually a silent reader most of the time since other stories usually have tons and tons of comments but since this is a clean comment board, i can write freely ~~ hehehe. ^^ I do hope to bring happiness to someone's life even if it's over the internet~
oh yay the POVs are so much clearer ^^
I just keep forgetting the main POV is Minyoung, because usually i would transfer the last POV from the previous chapter into the new chapter so I'd somehow confuse myself along the way. But that's just me hehehehe.
It's cool, don't need to apologise. I'll be waiting for new chapters~!
it makes sense, but I keep getting confused as to who's the main POV, but i think that's just me. I'm like distracted 95% of the time. Even now, I'm supposed to be having lessons but i'm writing a comment for you ^^
Also, most writers don't know how to paragraph their stories properly. Does that make sense? I don't know, I'm just typing whatever is in my head right now. Anyway, they always type in gigantic chunks which really put me off and then i don't feel like reading it once I see a wall of text. And because i speed read most of the time, i can't remember where i stopped reading since all the lines are squeezed together.
So. Keep up the good work~! Grammar's alright too ^^ TTFN~
okay since no one has commented yet, i shall be the first!
In all honesty, i have seen writers with much. worse. grammar. Yours is alright, i'm usually a grammar nazi and i can't seem to find anything grammatically wrong. Then again, it's 3:17am here now.
Next, the story is quite common, but i like the way you include the characters' feelings into the story without it being overdone. I also like how you steer B.A.P from having personalities that most writers on AFF tend to stereotype them into.
That's mostly what I have to say since you've only written two chapters so far, but it's looking good so far. I wouldn't say you're the best writer out there, but you're getting there.
So um, how'd you like my constructive criticism? (I hope it was constructive though ><! )
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