I stare through window as if I am paralyzed. I can't feel anything. Not even the pain that should be in my heart. I hear the boys call out, but it's as if its from a distance.

"We have to go." Gikwang's voice seems far away. Though I know I have to leave, I can't bring myself to move. I look inside seeing myself with Bae, joking around, comforting him when he is upset, giving him advice, fixing his skint knees and elbows.

Someone grabs my hand, but I pull pack. He goes for my hand again, pulling this time. But I pull back and keep my feet planted in the same spot. I don't want to leave. I want to see my brother Bae.

"We really need to leave now." I don't even know whose voice that was. Nor do I care.

"Just grab her."

Someone picks me up from around my waist and throws me over their shoulder. I don't yell, I don't scream, nor do I curse. But I kick, punch, knee, do anything I can to get myself free so I can go back and lok through the window of my home.

"God damnit! CALM DOWN." The person carrying me yells as I knee him in the stomach. I think it's Hyunseung who has me. No matter how many times they yell at me to stop, I don't. I just keep fighting, fighting to get back to my brother. I shoul've fought like this the first time. 

I'm thrown into the van and the driver quickly takes off.

"Yah, what happened?" I think Dongwoon asked me. I'm not sure. But I really don't care.

"They left. Her family moved. We can't get Bae." Gikwang says. I close my eyes and picture Bae's face.

I'm so sorry I couldn't get you back. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder. Please, Bae. Please don't fight in the future. Please don't forget me. Saranghae.

Back at the house, everyone jumps out of the van. Everyone except me. I have no reason to do anything now. Nothing.

Gikwang turns around to get me. He picks me up and puts me over his shoulder. I try to get out of his grasp, but it's no use. He bids the rest of the guys bye and walks into the house with me on his shoulder fighting, fighting for a lost cause. 

When we get inside, he finally puts me down and grabs my shoulders.

"YAH! STOP IT! HE IS GONE! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO!" He yells in my face, shaking me.

I should spit in his face. I should yell back. Lecture him on how he doesn't understand and how he never will. But do I do that? Oh no. Because I am not strong enough. So I cry.

I hang my head and cry harder than I ever have before. I clutch my stomach and fall to the ground. Shortly after I meet the ground, Gikwang's arms are around. Hoiting me up. I don't even try to stand. If it weren't for him holding me, I would fall again. I let myself fall against his body. He holds me, trying to comfort. Sincerely wanting me to feel better.

He picks me up bridal style and carries me bridal style up the stairs. I clutch onto his shirts as if my life depended on it.

"Shhh. I know, I know. It'll be okay." I try to listen to his words. I try to believe that it'ss be okay. But the person I love most has been taken from me and I have no chance getting him back.

Gikwang sets me on my bed carefully and tucks me in. He rubs my back, trying to calm me down. And, eventually it does. I soak in the feel of his hand. How comforting it is. How strong it is while also being so soft. Suddenly, my heart jumps. 

Seeing that I have finally calmed down, Gikwang gets up to leave. I grab his hand and he turns around with furrowed eyebrows.

"What is it?" He asks.

"C-could you sta-stay in hu-here wif-with me-e?" I ask. Damn, I sound awful. I don't think my voice has ever been so hoarse.

Gikwang looks at the ground. He looks like he is concentrating. 

Without an answer he walks to the other side of my bed and gets under the covers. I turn and face him. He awkwardly puts an arm around me, trying to comfort me. 

Gikwang's point of view

She looks so broken. I know there is nothing that I will ever be able to do to make her feel better.