When your reputation is tainted, so does everything else.  You’re seen as a bad child.  Every mistake you make is amplified, no matter how hard you try.

It was Ara who had come to Jieun in a meltdown. 

“Jieun, it’s terrible.  Look at this rubbish!”

She held out her phone.  As Jieun scrolled down, her heart sank.  It was one of those online forums and her pictures with Jongin were plastered all over the page.   There was one where she was at the park with Jongin and he had pecked her on the cheek.

It made sense why everyone was giving her odd looks all afternoon and whispering right in front of her.

“Just ignore the comments Jieun.  They are not worth losing sleep over.”

But it was too late.  Jieun had started reading the comments and she knew everything was going downhill.  It didn’t matter how the photos got online.  She was ruining everything for Jongin.

The comments consisted a lot of:

“I know the boy is a popular trainee at SM.  Who’s the girl?  Is she just there to pick up all the good-looking boys?”

“She’s such a .  Why is she clinging onto someone with potential?  She’s just ruining his chances.”

The only slightly comforting thing was her face was not clear in any of the photos.  But to someone who knew her or saw her day in and out of the SM building, they would instantly recognise her.

It was her fault.  She knew the rumours stemming from online were not going to stop until she left SM for good.  She really didn’t want it to affect Jongin and everything that had been going for him.  She even heard that the would-be group was going to be disbanded.  It was her fault.  She wished she didn’t confess to him.  If she weren’t so rash and reckless, he wouldn’t have to face this problem.  She was the one who ruined everything for him.  Everyone had warned her.  Everyone had told them to prepared.  But she thought she could overcome them.  Not anymore.

Jieun had told Ara she would be ok, and just needed to rest so she went home without going to practice.

- - -

She could hear phone ring endlessly in the background but she couldn’t bring herself to answer it.  She sat on the floor of her bedroom, feeling hopeless.  How was she going to fix this problem?

A knock on her door.  Then her mother’s soft voice.  “Dear, there’s someone at the door asking for you.  Can you please come downstairs?”

“Tell them I’m not home mum.”  She answered impatiently.

Her mother opened her door and saw her sitting gloomily on the floor.  “Jieun, I don’t know what’s wrong but the boy at the door seems extremely worried for you.  If I can’t help you, maybe he can.”

Her mother crouched down and took one of her hands into her own and began gently.  “Jieun, I just want you to know something.”

She looked up to her mother and felt the gentle touch of her coarse hands.  She didn’t remember her mother’s hands looking so fragile.  She didn’t remember her mother aging this much. 

“No matter what, I still love you.  What ever you’ve done, what has already happened, what choices you will make.  I love you.  And I want you to remember that.”

She didn’t know if it was because she was emotional at the time or because it was the first time her mother had said something so direct to her.  Either way, the words resonated within her and she felt a slight dull ache in her heart.  And it was at this point she could not stop her tears from falling. 

Her mother, seeing how emotional she had become, quickly said, “I’ll ask the boy to come back another day.”

But as she stood up to leave, Jieun immediately stood up and said, “No, I’ll go talk to him.  There’s some thi