Listen to Fairy Tales by Yiruma while reading

Chapter 2 - And So We Wait

Warning: There’s cursing.

The members clustered together a few meters outside the dreaded room. Leeteuk sitting down with his head hidden in his hands, slouched over, shoulders shaking with sobs. Kangin had his arm around the umma of the group, whispering nonsensical stuff into his ear as he drew circles on the leader’s back, trying to calm the depressed leader. Yet, his own eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to overflow. Donghae sat on the floor, leaning against Leeteuk’s legs, his eyes closed, with Eunhyuk lying on his lap, arms over his eyes as the tired boy (i refuse to call them men here. makes them sound like 40 plus) drowned himself in his own thoughts. Hankyung and Heechul sat next to them, the Cinderella leaning against the Chinese man’s chest, eyes drooping slowly, as sleep threatened to overcome him. He had been tired out from the excitement of seeing Hankyung again and seeing Kyuhyun attempting suicide. Siwon sat on Heechul’s left, one hand on the elder’s back while another hand clutched Leeteuk’s hand. Across them, Sungmin tried to console the sniffling Ryeowook, pulling him into a hug occasionally and murmuring encouragement to him. Kibum just went around handing out tissues, before taking his place besides Yesung, who had sat next to Ryeowook, and leaned his head on his hyung’s shoulders, who had been staring into space all this while. Shindong simply stood next to the window, sighing every now and then.

Whenever a doctor walked past them, they would all look up in expectation, expecting to see the familiar yet sort of unwelcome face, heads drooping back down as their hopes were crushed.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. That’s all they were doing. That’s all they could do. Wait. That 8 hours of waiting were the hardest moments in their life.

~ Flashback ~

“KYUHYUN!!!!!!!!”

All the members could do was to freeze in fear as they watched their beloved maknae disappear over the roof from their view. Thoughts of guilt, thoughts of fear, thoughts of self-berating flew around in each of their heads, as their eyes struggled to process what was happening in front of them. Processing, yet denying.

Their maknae had jumped off the roof.

~ Flashback ~

Leeteuk shook head in an attempt to clear his head of the very scene. The scene which kept replaying itself in his head. The scene which he had seen his very own beloved maknae committing suicide. The scene which has convinced him that he had failed yet again. Failed as the leader.

I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I actually notice all the pain he had been carrying? Why didn’t I notice that he was breaking? Why didn’t I play my part of being a leader properly? I had failed when Hankyung left SM. Now I have failed yet again when my maknae had tried to offed himself.

Am I no longer suited for this job? Leeteuk, you stupid, idiotic, moronic, bastard of a leader. You were supposed to be a leader, supposed to protect your dongsaengs, supposed to be there for them. Yet why are you so useless? Why am I so useless? I can’t do anything except to sit here and cry.

Kangin noticing his leader’s emotional struggle with himself, pulled the latter closer to him, whether whispering encouraging words or nonsensical sentences, no one knows, to Leeteuk, in an attempt to try and distract his hyung from his depressing thoughts. Leeteuk looked up into Kangin’s eyes, before turning away in disgust, not wanting to see the guilt of his own eyes that was mirrored in his dongsaeng’s eyes. But what he did not know was that, Kangin’s own eyes were carrying the guilt also. In fact, the rest of the Super Junior members were too. He pulled the umma closer to him, urging him to sleep. Leeteuk complied, tired out by his mental berating, but not before telling Kangin to do the same thing, as he fell asleep with the thought that he would become a better leader for Kyuhyun, for Super Junior.

Noticing the shift in the position of the boy that he had been leaning on, Donghae shifted along with it, disturbing the usually hyperactive monkey that had been resting his head on his lap. Eunhyuk sat up slowly, dragged away from his thoughts by the sudden movement. He murmured an apology under his breath for borrowing his best friend’s lap, as he adjusted himself into an more comfortable position. Donghae looked at his friend and shook his head, smiling wearily, before resuming his position - leaning against Leeteuk’s leg, and closing his eyes.

Donghae never really liked the hospital. He didn’t like ANYTHING related to the hospital in fact. He didn’t like the ambulance, whose noisy whining sound he had come to hate, yet appreciated grudgingly a few hours ago. 

The white walls. The smell of sanitizers. The faceless figures walking around in white. The smell of death lingering in the ICU. The red light of the operation room that showed it was in use. The squeaking sound of the trolley as a nurse wheeled it down the corridor. The clicking sounds of the heels of the doctors. They were all getting to him, unnerving him, making him feel like he wanted to dig a hole somewhere and bury himself in it.

But what he always hated the most, no matter which hospital, no matter when it was, no matter the situation, was the face that the doctor wore when he came out of the operation room or a patient’s room. The face that showed that the doctor had failed to do his job properly. The face that the doctor wore when he delivered the most heartbreaking news to the family members and friends. The face which he had seen once, which brought his whole world crushing down. The face which he never wanted to see again. (To those who didn’t get it, it’s the face the doctor has when he tells people somebody they cared for has died). 

Donghae didn’t like the hospital any further than did he welcome the idea of being denied the role of a dancer. It reminded him of his dad. His dad who he couldn’t see again. His dad who he couldn’t perform in front again. His dad who he couldn’t call whenever he was in a dilemma. So being here, AGAIN in the hospital, in a helpless position, disgusted himself.

~ Flashback ~

“What the ? Why did you change the channel? I was watching it!” Heechul’s scream could be heard from there all the way to the first floor. 

“But hyung... I don’t like the channel. It’ all about fashion and stuff.” Donghae pouted, attempting to use his aegyo to ease the raging diva in front of him, as he scurried to the end of the room, along with the remote control in his hand.

Apparently, it failed. “And you think that I would LIKE to watch Care Bears????!!!!!!” Another shriek echoed throughout the dorm, as if with the intention of breaking anyone’s ear drum within a 5m radius.

“It’s not Care Bears hyung... It’s called the Invasion of Planet- “

“I don’t care!!!!!!!!!! You’ll pay for this, Lee Donghae.”

“Kyuhyun ah! Save me!” Donghae yelled as he dashed behind the group’s maknae, who had just finished recording a song for SM’s The Ballad, using him like a shield.

“Lee Donghae. Get back here this instant else I’ll personally skin you alive!”

Donghae gulped. “Kyuhyun ah!!! Please help me.”

“Hmph. I doubt Kyu can even save himself from Heechul’s wrath.” Kangin smirked as he walked past the living room, taking in the scene.

“Heechul hyung. Please stop chasing Donghae hyung.” Kyuhyun said wearily as Heechul came into his line of vision.

He didn’t want to deal with this. He was tired, with no energy to even retort back to Kangin as usual. All he wanted to do was to go to his room, lock the damn door and lie down on the bed. It had been a bad day for him. He had been screamed at by the producer for not “putting in his best effort and stop treating this like a game.” He hadn’t been able to sing his lines properly today, often having coughs breaking in between. The truth was, Kyuhyun was down with a terrible cough and a sore throat today. But being the hardworking person he is, he didn’t want to delay the release of the new song but calling in sick and then, disappointing the eager fans.

Heechul, Donghae and Kangin frowned at Kyuhyun’s sudden use of formalities and lack of retort, but they labeled it as the maknae being tired. They watched as Kyuhyun climbed the stairs and went into his room, shutting the door before all three returned to their own activities, the initial fight between Donghae and Heechul forgotten until Heechul turned to the television and was greeted with apes.

~ Flashback~

Why? Why am I so useless? I should have noticed it. I should have noticed it since Hankyung left, his breakdown since Hankyung left. No. I should have noticed Kyuhyun breaking down way before that. From the time when he started wearing long sleeves to cover up his scars, from the time when he had started to become quiet, never even bothering to retort with a snarky remark, from the time when he started playing Starcraft more. Why? I promised myself that I didn’t want to lose somebody close to me. That I will do anything to prevent that. It hasn’t even been 2 years and I’m breaking that promise already.

Eunhyuk looked up in surprise, as he felt tremors from the boy next to him. The fishy had drawn his knees up to his chest, head burrowed in between, entire body shaking as sobs ran through his body. Eunhyuk knew of the mental struggle that his best friend. He knew that Donghae was feeling guilty, all of them are, but the death of his father being in a hospital had added onto that stress. He knew, without words being spoken. That’s why they were called Eunhae.

Eunhyk shifted slightly over. Taking the boy into his arms, he whispered soothingly, “Shh... It’s ok Hae. Just let it out all out. All of it.”

That did it. Donghae’s dam broke and he sobbed into his best friend’s arms, wetting his shirt. But at that moment, neither of them cared.

~ Flashback ~

Thump

The loud sound has jerked all of them out of their daze, and they hurried over the railing, that was just separating them from the empty space below, leaning over as far as they dared too.

Upon seeing the sight below, they breathed a sigh of relief, which was ironic given the situation that they were in now. But the sight below them showed that they still had a chance to make things right.

Well actually, not really. But it was better than seeing Kyuhyun’s corpse. He had fallen onto an extending roof, two floors down. Not dead yet, but would soon be if help doesn’t arrive soon. But still, the red liquid that was pooling around his head was NOT a pretty side. It reminded Ryeowook of a scene in a zombie movie which he had watched not long ago. The scene where the hero crushed the zombie’s head and blood splattered all around, like a blood red flower that was desperately blooming.

~ Flashback ~

Ryeowook shuddered as the scene replayed itself like a cassette tape in his mind, unconsciously clinging onto Sungmin even more. His shoulders were shakin