Starring: Dara Park, Kim Jaejoong

A story dedicated to someone so understanding *tears*

*extreme proofreading*

*gives up*

*eats instead*

Of all the things to be fascinated with, the pouring rain tops Dara’s list.

I came to know this fact when I saw her staring at the rain just after they made their recording for SBS Inkigayo. While the rest of her group was cooped up in their waiting room, she was outside, sitting on the concrete rail of one of the building’s balconies.

“That’s not exactly illegal, but it’s dangerous,” I said, referring to the way she was sitting. Her feet were dangling on the air, and judging her frail, petite body, one gust of wind would send her over the edge and might cause an accident.

Startled, she turned to face the owner of the voice and let out a little squeak when she saw me. Dara looked so flustered seeing me, I resolved it was the most adorable reaction I got since I became an artist.

“What are you staring at?” I propped myself up the rail and swung my legs so that I could sit next to her. She lost her rattled look and finally smiled. I couldn’t help but think on how beautiful her smile was.

“The rain,” she replied.

I looked at the drops that looked like wet strings as it fell down and silently wondered on what she found so interesting about it. It looked like wet strings to me. Nothing more.

“I think it’s charming.”

Charming? That would be the last word girls would actually use to describe the rain. Most of girls I know hate it, as it ruins their outfit as a whole, especially their shoes. Others find it depressing. They think it was some sort of a bad omen.

She mystified me, so I had to ask on why she finds it charming. At that time, I thought she was one of the people who would say the most cliché and cheesiest line I’ve ever heard:

It hides your tears.

She chuckled lightly and said, “Promise you won’t laugh?” I gave her a nod and she let out a deep breath before saying, “Because rain signifies growth. When it rains, something grows.”

I smiled.

Not because I found her answer funny, but because it was the deepest answer I’ve heard in a while. It made me have a new perspective about the wet strings I was mocking earlier.

“That’s deep,” I let out and I received a big smile from her.

“Tell me,” she said after a moment of silence, “what do you think of the rain?”

I decided that honesty would be my best option and I answered truthfully. “I never gave much thought about it until now.”

This time she laughed. Before I knew it, I found my self laughing with her.

At the end of our conversation, Dara and her fascination with the rain made it to the top of my list.

It rained that day.

I stared at the large mug in front of me. Its contents were long gone, like the girl who was drinking coffee with me moments ago.

I still feel her lips on mine. But I also knew that the way she kissed me meant goodbye, and there’ll be no more after that.

Dara finally made her choice.

And it wasn’t me.

The moment she left the café, rain came pouring down. The way it hit the roofs made me mull over if it was mourning or if it was angry.

I wondered if it reflected the way I was feeling that day.

I was angry at her for choosing that two-timing bastard. I was angry at him for making her guilty about a thing he did first. I was angry at myself for thinking we could actually end up together.

The last reason why I was angry made me mourn.

Like the emotions inside me, the rain kept on pouring down, as if to wash away every bit of sanity I have left.

Her tears looked like rain.

It trickled down her beautiful face, those warm drops staining her cheeks. Some stray to the hand she was using to cover her lips. It was all that kept her from making sobbing sounds. Because knowing Dara, she won’t let him have the satisfaction of hearing her cry.

But I could hear her.

I could hear her sobbing. I could hear her heart being crushed to bits. I could hear everything despite her not talking at all.

She walked out of the scene, leaving her boyfriend and the girl he was romantically tangled with, and left in a rush.

It was raining outside but she went out without an umbrella and I followed her like a fool, cursing at the larger fool who was supposed to run after her. A part of me wanted to go back, kill him for hurting her, but still I followed.

Even though I knew it was not me she wanted.

When I caught up to her, she was soaking wet, the strands of her hair and her clothes tightly clung to her skin. She was lightly shivering from the cold but despite all this, she looked like she could care less. Maybe it was from the hurt she was currently feeling.

Even though her face was all damp from the rain, I could easily tell that those drops rolling of her cheeks were tears. She was still crying for someone who doesn’t deserve all of it. I felt my heart clench as the thoughts I was trying to suppress resurfaced.

My fingers tightly clasped the umbrella handle as I went near her side and I halted the moment I heard her say, “I’m sorry.”

What was she saying sorry for?

She finally turned to fully face me, her lips quivered and she said, “I’m sorry I hurt you, Jaejoong.”

I extended my arm, so that the umbrella I was holding could shelter her from the rain and I tried to keep an impassive face when I whispered, “Don’t be.”

I started to feel the cold drops against my skin as it hit me, but I couldn’t care less.

I wanted that. I wanted to absolutely get drenched in the shower, from my head to my toes.

That way she won’t know that I was already crying and that my tears looked like hers.

It looked like rain.

Before I actually talked to her, I never gave much thought on anything, rain included.

I never thought of rain as a means of growth, although I have a fair idea that water means life.

I never thought I would fall in love this deep with her.

She was like my rain. With her, I found growth.

 If someone would say that I would feel this way a year before I had that discussion with her, I would definitely raise an eyebrow at them and ignore it like it never happened.

But we came to this.

She came to love me, like I always wanted. Not hidden, not stolen. Her love was freely mine.

And I came to love her, more than before, if that was even possible.

I think it is.

I love her so much that I wanted it to rain down on me.

It would be better if it’s a shower.

So that my tears won’t be noticed by her. From my head to my toes, I would let it drench my whole body to no end.

But the rain has already stopped.

No rain was there to hide Dara’s tears.

I watched helplessly from my seat, my legs stuck between the crushed metal parts, as she was pulled out of my upturned car. I saw how she struggled to get out of a uniformed man’s grip and tried to get to me.

My heart was crushed when I saw her tear-stained face.

That was the least thing I wanted to see before I die.

I desperately wanted it to rain so it could at least bring us back to when we first met, back to when she was smiling at me.

I wanted it to rain down on me so she won’t see me crying. It was not the image I want to leave with her.

I hated myself for leaving her.

I’m despicable.

So before that explosion that took my life, I reached out to her even though I knew our hands would never meet again and mouthed what I want her to always remember.

“I’ll love you forever, Dara. Just for you, I’ll come back as the rain.”

A/N:

This is definitely not the sequel for First (Chapter 9). If I wanted Seunghyun to pay, I would not have killed Jae.

But still, I hope you liked it.