Jaejoong’s POV:

It’s been three days since the incident I have with Sandara. I’ve been trying my best to stay away from them just like what she wanted. But a part of me keeps wanting to come close to the Parks especially to her. It’s like my brain keeps telling me to go away but my body is longing for them.

I look around and I realized I was spacing out again. I was doing things absentmindedly since that day. My mind is always somewhere else, thank goodness I’ve never space out in my class.

Right now, I’m waiting for Park Bom and Yoochun. The class has already ended and this day is the only day they are available for their detention since their matches are coming up and they are busy preparing for the tournament.

The door suddenly opens revealing the two Parks. They wore an expression clearly stating that they don’t want to be here but were force to do so.

“So, who do we have here?” I asked with a smirk seeing them with a dissatisfied expression. I’m not sure where did I got the confidence to tease them. Both of them glared at me as they seat. I can’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Happy to see us?” Bom questioned deadpan.

“Uh-huh. Glad to see both of you join me in this detention. I’ve looking forward to see both of you since the last three days. I was already thinking that maybe you guys were going to skip detention and I won’t have any other choice but to talk to your Uncle.” I replied.

“Don’t you dare do that! You don’t have any idea what that simple action will affect Dara!!” Bom shouted out of nowhere making me startled a bit.

Dara? Who’s that? My heart suddenly started beating so fast and my head felt like it’s going to explode. My hands automatically cup my head as if it will help to ease the pain that I’m feeling right now just by hearing that name.

Before those two notices my pain, I quickly rearranged myself and look at them as I saw a flash of concern came to their eyes but quickly look away as they saw me looking at them.

“Who?” I simply ask to gain their attention. That name, Dara, I know that name! I know it! I said to myself as flash of memories came to me seeing the blurry face of a girl with milk white skin and brown long hair. It’s the girl in my dream. The letter D in my ring, it’s Dara.

I can feel that it’s her! Dara! Dara! Dara! It’s the first time they told something about her. Who is she? Where is she?! Is my suspicion that the girl in my dream and that Dara is the same?

I don’t know why, but suddenly I remember Sandara’s crying face three days ago. My heart felt the same pain once again. ! Dara? Is it Sandara’s nickname?  It’s really obvious though.  If she’s Sandara why does telling the vice principal about Yoochun and Bom’s detention will affect her?

“Why will Sandara get involved in your detention? She’s already done with her own detention few days ago?” I suddenly blurted out while staring at them intently.

They stiffened after hearing my question assuring me that my hunch about Sandara being Dara is correct. Both didn’t answer as if they were afraid that they will spill something out. They started to wiggle in their seat feeling uncomfortable by the stare I’m directing to them.

“Tell me.” I whisper hearing the vulnerability in my voice. They looked at me at the same time. I don’t what they saw in me as sadness contorts in their faces and started talking.

 “After the accident three years ago, she started living alone in her apartment we tried to convince her to live with us but she doesn’t want to. Her parents blame her for what happened. They left to America together with Leeteuk hyung. He’s in comma that’s why her parents decided for hyung to undergo operation abroad for better treatment.” Yoochun started but I butted in.

“Leeteuk?” I asked.

“Dara’s older brother. One of our friends. Me and Chun’s cousin.” Bom answered as Yoochun continued. He’s in comma? Is he involved in the accident? Aish! Why do I have to forget everything! Damn.

“I’m not in the position to tell this, but we hate to see you suffering. You are our friends after all. So, whatever you hear from us...please don’t tell anyone especially Dara.” He said with a small smile.

“So, ahmm... Dara... For these three years she never saw her parents and her brother. Her parents were still blaming her and they told her that they don’t want to see her ever again. As for Leeteuk hyung, he’s still in comma.” He explained. I don’t really know why they are telling me this story, I just wanted to find out why would Sandara get involved in their problem so I just stay quiet and listen...maybe I would get information about the night of accident.

“Her parents who should be comforting her after the accident turn their backs against her! I hate them! Dara has been suffering for so long! Losing a best friend, a fiancé and taking her brother away from her!!! I despise them! They are the reason that Dara is also blaming herself for what happen! If oppa is awake, he won’t let something like this happen!” Bom shouted angrily as if she’s in a verbal fight with someone.

Wait! Did she just say Sandara has a fiancé? She’s only 18 years old and if it’s three years ago... she’s only 15! How come she has a fiancé at such a young age? Okay Jae that’s enough! Mind your own business! I told myself but kept wondering about her having a fiancé.

“But Dara never gave up even after receiving cold treatment from the people whom she called parents! Because they are busy for oppa’s treatment in America, their business slowly going down, but Dara being Dara... the most wonderful person I’ve have known... never hate her parents even for a second and decided to take over the company. She might still be young during the time she took over, but her intelligence and professionalism make her the outstanding boss that the company were looking for.” She explained calmer than before as tears fall from her eyes.

“The employees look up to her like their lives is on her hand. She helps the company to stand up again. She lost her youth in working her off for her family. While her parents living in abroad and enjoying their lives to the fullest while waiting for their son to wake up... Dara is suffering every night, screaming in her sleep as the nightmare of the accident visit her. While they are busy socializing and spending money in everything they eyed on, Dara is busy working for her oppa’s medical bill and their luxury while helping the company to continue its progress.”  She added as her heart broke for her cousin.

“She lost her youth for those people who didn’t even think of her. She’s in pain for so long... she’s broken. After school, she will directly go to the company and started working, she will go home in midnight... but when sleep came to her, nightmare will wake her up... keeping her awake the whole night. That’s why when she’s in school, she always sleeps in classes. We advice her to just let the company falls but she quickly disagree. She said that the company is very big, meaning there are a lot of employees, if she stop managing the business many people will lose their job... many families will suffer. Well, it’s Dara that we are talking here, she will think others before herself.” Yoochun stated.

“Her parents never acknowledge her hardship. They never even attend any of her competition. They never call her during special occasions like her birthday, Christmas or New Year. But if a news about her being the war-freak, without a delay they will call her and insult her in every possible way and blame her for everything. But Dara have never even once talk back to them. She will just accept all their words. Happy hearing their voices, even though all they do is scold her... she’s satisfied hearing the voices of those she truly miss in her heart.” He continued with a pain expression.

“That’s why if you told uncle even as a joke about something like detention or anything... Uncle won’t have a choice but to call our parents... even though it’s my parents and Yoochun’s parents that he’s going to call, there won’t be any different. If it’s about the two of us, they will immediately conclude that Dara is involved, so our parents will inform her parents and they will quickly contact her.” Bom said with a pain expression like Yoochun.

“So we are begging you, please don’t tell Uncle something like that Jae. We will follow everything you say... we want to lessen Dara’s suffering even a little...please.” They pleaded.

I felt my heart stop for a moment hearing all her suffering. My blood boiled in anger after knowing what kind of parents she has. I also hate them! They have no right to treat her like that! They also have a daughter who’s suffering not only a son!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t have any idea. I promise I won’t say anything to the vice principal.” I said as they both look at me with a thankful expression.

“But I hope you’re not just playing with me so that both of you can escape the detention.” Once those words left my mouth their thankful expression quickly turned to a hateful glare.

“I understand if you won’t believe us hearing our bad reputation but damn Jae even you can’t remember us can’t you at least differentiate playing from simply stating the truth?!” Bom shouted angrily.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to..... I-I...” I stuttered. “Fine! But you have to answer my question!”

“Fine!” Both said answering too quickly without thinking.

“You see, no one ever told me what happened during that night. This is the only thing I wanted to you to do for me. Tell what happened three years ago when I got in accident.” I said in one breath as they both look at me with a surprise face.

“No...no one told you what happened?” Yoochun asked disbelievingly. I just nodded in response.

“That’s really absurd. How could they do that? How could Aunt Hyori and Uncle Joong Kook do that to you?! You are their son... you deserve the truth!” Bom said frustratingly. I just shrugged.

“I don’t know why... that’s why I’m hoping you could tell me what happen. I need to know why I’ve been dreaming of some people for these past few nights. Please....” I begged looking at them. They look at each other and sigh simultaneously.

“Fine.” They answered at the same time.

“But bear in mind that we can’t tell you all the details. If you want to know everything... you have to ask her since she’s involved in that accident.” Bom explained. I was about to ask who is she talking about when Yoochun started talking.

“Since you don’t have any idea who we are... I think it’s best if we give a little introduction to of who we are and who are involved in the accident and maybe how are we related to each other.” I nodded while listening to him intently. It’s good that he decided to do that first.

“I want you to listen very carefully because it might get complicated, so if you have any question, don’t hesitate to ask. Okay?” He asked.

“Okay.” I simply answered.

“The Kims and Parks were friends even before we are born. Our houses were situated near each other, Bom’s, Mine, Dara’s and yours. Since our parents were naturally close like a real family, we always have this gathering were we all eat in Dara’s garden. I don’t know when it started but it’s been like that since we are little.” Yoochun stated first while looking at me.

“We always see each other during that time until the five of us became a group of friends. You, Dara, Yoochun, Leeteuk oppa and me. The five of us started hanging out even though we don’t have any gatherings. Everyone was happy with our closeness, because basically our families were close so they also wish their children were close.” Bom continued.

“That time, I only have my father. My mother died when I was born so I don’t have any memories of her. But when I was 10, my father got remarried to a wonderful woman who treated me like her own. My step-mom actually taking care of her nephew that’s why when they got married we took in his nephew. He is two years older than us. He is the same age with you and Leeteuk hyung.” Yoochun said with a pain in his eyes.

“His name is Choi Siwon.” Bom said longingly as tears started to fall from her eyes.

“Even though we are not related, we treated each other like real brothers are. We are very close to each other. We never fought even once. He is a really good hearted person. A female version of Dara. My non-blood related brother.” Yoochun added as he close his eyes as if remembering him.

“And my boyfriend.” Bom said as she embraces herself wishing for warmth of his embrace.

 They both stayed silent for a moment. I’m not sure what’s the reason they are talking to the guy name Siwon as if he’s gone. I just watch them and wait for the continuation.

“Siwon started hanging out with us and what to expect from the female version of Dara? He instantly clicks with the rest of us. You actually hated it at first because he always sticks to Dara.” Bom stated with a small chuckle. Me? Why would I hate him for sticking to Sandara? I wanted to ask but I think it’s better to do that later.

“But it’s quite funny how times goes by and he became you and Dara’s best friend. Among the six of us, it’s you, Dara and Siwon who are the closest thing in the group as if no one can separate the three of you. But that’s until I became his girlfriend when I was 15.” She said smiling but instantly replace with that pain expression.

“But that’s until the accident happen.” Yoochun look at his cousin worriedly.

“The accident. That ing dreadful accident that turn our life upside down. The reason our life our full of sufferings... and are now incomplete.” Bom whispered looking at me with an expression I can’t even decipher.

“It was during Dara’s competition. It’s a quiz bee where Dara represented our country. She was dubbed as the Nation’s genius thus she competes with other countries representative. It was held in the Olympic Park. That time Chun was also in the national tournament for basketball and of course I’m part of the cheerleading squad, I was there to support the basketball team. Siwon, Leeteuk and of course you are there to support Dara since her parents won’t bother attending her quiz bees.” She said with bitterness in her voice as she spat the word parents.

“Your cheering was epic like what I’ve heard.” Yoochun chuckled looking at me. Wait! Did he say I was cheering like a fool? That’s the guy in the passenger seat said to me in my dream. He said ‘Yeah, that was so epic! I understand that you really love my sister... but heck! You just make fun of yourself when you decided to shout at the top of your lungs holding a banner, cheering for her while standing. HAHAHA! If you seen the weird faces of the audience you will immediately stop and hide yourself in a bin!’

Sister? That guy is he Leeteuk? And her sister.... if I remember correctly, there’s only one girl in my dream. The girl who were sleeping on my lap. Is she his sister? Bom said it was me, Siwon, and Leeteuk who came for Dara. Does it mean the girl in my lap is Sandara? Augh! I can’t remember!

“Dara won the match. And shortly the four of you went home. According to the police, Siwon was driving since he is the only one who has a student licence, Leeteuk oppa was on the passenger seat and you were sitting with Dara at the back seat.” She explained as my eyes widened. It is her! It is Sandara who is on my lap! She is my girlfriend! Is that why she look so hurt when I told the class I have a girlfriend? Is it the reason why my body was itching to be near her? And is it why I long to see and caress her face?

“Sandara, she is my girlfriend.” I stated. I know I’m right. Something inside me is telling me it’s the truth. Both of their heads snap quickly on my direction. Their eyes were wide and their mouths were hanging open.

“You remember?” Yoochun asked as a glint of hope shown in his face but not until disappointment replaces it as I answer.

“I’m sorry but no. It’s just that I can feel that I have a special connection to her. Like I know her all my life. Like I can’t bear to see her in pain. I don’t know what’s even happening but my mind was always wondering about her.” I said looking at the ground not until I heard Bom’s chuckle.

“That was kinda funny. You fall in love once again to her. Even without any memories of her you still fall for her. Your brain can’t remember her but your heart never forgets her huh? You really love her don’t you?” Bom asked smiling genuinely for the first time to me.

Me? In love with Sandara? Is that the truth? Am I really? I don’t know. But I always space out thinking about her. Even though she told me to stay away from her, I always find myself wishing for her brown orbs to meet mine as she tried to avoid eye contact. And just her mere presence make my heart beat fast. Ahhh! Yeah. I think I’m in love once again to the girl I’m supposed to call my girlfriend before the accident.... I love her.

“Yeah.” I answer confidently with a small smile on my lips. The both smile to me like what I said is the most amazing thing they have ever heard in the world.

“Please bring the old her back. Please help your meum amor” Yoochun pleaded. And as if I suddenly understand the meaning of it I nodded.

“I will, with all my might.” Because she’s the only girl I promise to love, meum amor. My love.

“Thank you.” Both said at the same time as they held each other’s hand.

“So how did we get into an accident?” I asked bringing back the topic.

“You were on your way home when suddenly that ing drunk truck driver was speeding on the opposite direction. Witnesses said that your car pulled on the side. It seems like when that driver was zigzagging on the other lane, Siwon stopped the car on the side to avoid the truck. To be honest no one knows what really happen. Because you’re the only one who’s awake to explain what really happen, but unfortunately... you got amnesia.” She said bitterly.

“What do you mean?” I asked. She shrugged.

“The driver lost control of the truck as they near your car and everything went down. The truck crushed directly in front of your car thus Leeteuk oppa and Siwon got the worst damage. The driver admitted that he is drunk driving but no one from your side explained what happen. Dara said she was sleeping during that time, the next thing she knew is that she’s in the hospital. I don’t know if Leeteuk oppa was awake during that time but as we all know, he is still sleeping up to this point. He is still in comma. And... and.. ahmm and Siwon... h-he... h-he was awake for sure during that time because he was driving... b-but he is now sleeping....for-forever....” Bom said as Yoochun pulled her into a hug.

I felt a tear drops in my hand as I touch my face and realized I’m crying. The pain in my head once again came back as the memories of a handsome guy suddenly flashes in my mind. A guy who’s always ready to help me every time I need help. The only guy who can bear my and Dara’s antics. The only one who’s willing to become a bridge when the two of us were fighting. Our best friend, he’s gone.

I punch my table, hating myself for forgetting someone like Siwon! Dammit!!!! How can I be selfish!!! I even let Sandara suffer alone!! The two were looking at me as Bom pulled away from her cousin’s arm.

“I remember him.” I said looking at nowhere.

“Really?” They asked. I nodded.

“But only him. I still can’t remember other things though I have this dream when we are in the car but that’s all.” I replied.

“It’s okay. Don’t push yourself though we are glad you are trying Jae. Thank you.” Bom said as I look at them.

“I never thought that something like that had happen. I thought it was just a simple accident.” I murmured.

“Yeah. No one would ever think that the harmonious relationship of the Kims and Parks will suddenly fall apart. That the wonderful Siwon will suddenly leave us. That the playful Leeteuk hyung will suddenly fall in a deep slumber. That the honest and naughty Chun and Bom will suddenly become a puppet of their parents acting like the perfect son and daughter in front of them but was like a shell that left their soul when one of the most important person in the world left them. That the loving boyfriend of Dara...” Bom trailed off talking in third person looking at me as she spoke the word ‘boyfriend of Dara’.

“No... not boyfriend. Fiancé, that’s the right word. That the loving fiancé of Dara suddenly left us like Siwon.” She said looking sadly. Fiancé? Wait! I’m his boyfriend! How come she has a fiancé? Damn! I’m getting curious!

“Wait! Wait! I’m her boyfriend! How come she has a fiancé? And what do you mean he left like Siwon? Is he dead?” I asked. They both shook their heads.

“No Jae. Yeah she is your girlfriend but more like a fiancée since you are engage even before you were born. And no he’s alive. Sitting right in front of us.” Yoochun answered.

I look to my left then to my right looking for that person when I realized I’m the only one who’s sitting in front of them. I pointed to myself.

“It’s me? We are engage?” I ask as I felt happiness inside me flowing in my veins feeling alive once again. They both nodded at me as a smile form in my lips.

“Wow!” I blurted out as I heard them laugh. I can’t believe that I’m engage to her!

“Wait! You said I suddenly left like Siwon? Why? I’m still alive.” I said in a ‘duh’ tone.

“Well, we thought you are dead. Your parents told us you were gone. You don’t have any idea how shock we are when you appeared last Monday telling us you are our new English teacher. You don’t know how betrayed we feel after knowing your alive. All this time we are mourning for losing you especially Dara. She loses her best friend then they take away her oppa and then they will suddenly announce that you’re dead.”

“That was really hard for her. Our parents didn’t even try to comfort her. We are the only one who keeps her alive do you know that? If we don’t watch her before, she will try to commit suicide. But thank goodness that she already gave up on that idea after a year of trying.” Bom explained.

My heart hurts hearing her suffering. I hate myself for leaving her alone, for making her suffer. How come she even try to kill herself. Doesn’t she value herself?

“That’s why even though it’s kind of surprising, we are glad to see you once again. And we know Dara feels the same.” Yoochun added.

“NO, she doesn’t want me. She said that I have to move on and forget the past. She wants me to stay away from the three of you. And be happy together with my girlfriend.” I said lowly.

“Ah.. yeah. I forgot you have a girlfriend. I’m sorry. But I hope you can still help Dara even as a friend.” Yoochun said with a distress tone.

“No! She is my girlfriend!”

“Huh? You said you have a girlfriend during the class.” Bom asked.

“Yeah I said that. But that was because I’ve dreamt of a petite girl with a long brown hair and white skin.  I’ve been dreaming about her every night and I always talk to her like she’s my girlfriend that’s why I said that I have a girlfriend even without realizing that it was Sandara that I’ve been dreaming of.” I explained as they both look at me intently.

“Well, she misunderstood that bro. She thinks you have a new girlfriend maybe that’s the reason she said you stay away from us.” Yoochun said.

“Damn! Why the heck did I have amnesia! Aish! I want to remember everything! I want to remember her!!!!!!” I shouted frustratingly.

Silence enveloped to the three of us as we look at nowhere. My mind starting to drift again to the beautiful faceless girl... when the blurry face suddenly became very clear. It’s the face of the most beautiful angelic face I’ve ever seen.

The way she smiled at me tells it all. It tells how much she loves me. Even I haven’t seen Sandara’s face at the present because of her mask, I can clearly say that the girl in my dream and the girl I’ve fallen in love right now is the same. They have the most expressive brown eyes that can see through your soul.

Behind her strong facade, I never thought that she’s suffering inside. I wish I didn’t have amnesia, in that way, I can always take care of her. I can always look at her. I can always be beside her.

“Who would have thought that behind that fierce act is a broken girl.” I spoke to no one.

“Well, she’s not bad you know. I think you also witness how she saved CL and Minzy the other day. It’s just a rumor that we don’t talk or let anyone in our circle. We have a big circle to be honest it’s just that almost all of them are varsity player so they are also busy. And beside we only hang out in the greenhouse so no one actually see us mingling with others though we never told anyone about our past, we’re still friends with them.”

“Err, no one will ever think that you know... the way Sandara glare at everyone she meet is like she wanted to kill them.’ I said. I’m not sure what’s wrong with what I said but both of them look tense at the same time.

“Ahmm... Uncle didn’t tell you?” Bom asked nervously.

“Tell me what?”

They both look at each other as if debating whether to tell me something or not. I saw Yoochun nodded at Bom as her head turn to my direction. I don’t know why but after hearing her words I felt really hurt.

“Dara, during the accident... she was found under your body, shielding her but unfortunately she also received some damage. She might look perfect in the outside but in truth, she’s not. Some broken glasses directly went to her face and head. She received a minor head injury but... one of the glasses went to her left eye. The reason she glare at everyone is not because she wanted to kill you or something... she’s doing that because it’s the only way she can see everything clearly.”

The pain inside me is unbearable as her words echoed in my head. I instantly left the room and run towards the only person I’ve ever love. Meum amor. To my love....

“She can’t see on one of her eyes.... Her left eye is blind Jae.... “

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NEXT CHAPTER:

REMEMBERING

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Ahh... at last! I've updated.

I updated this first because I was unable to update this last week.

So, here's a new chapter.

Sorry for the errors/mistakes.

Enjoy reading!

I'll try if I can still update my other fics.

Ciao!!!

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THANK YOU!!!

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