It was being able to wait for a long time without getting angry or annoyed. It showed character. It would help us a lot in the world. It would help us grow up.

But still, Lu Han and I didn't understand why we would need it. This "patience" was for adults, not children. Why did we need it?

As an answer, she pointed to the five-year-old in the sandpit.

"You need patience. Use it for him."

~

Years passed, people changed. Around school, we were the Three Musketeers. I always stuck with both of my brothers.

On the second day of my Senior year, my teacher got a phone call in the beginning of class.

"Hm...yeah...both? ...why? ...no it's not a problem...you too...ok." He murmured into the phone. "Kris, Lu Han. Go to Park Leeteuk's English class. There's a problem there."

We didn't expect that phone call so soon. A few years back, we had to visit Tao's middle school to do this too. But by then they were a few weeks into the year.

"Why are you grabbing your stuff? It shouldn't take you that long." He asked when we were about to open the door.

Lu Han looked uncomfortable. "Well...we don't know how long it's gonna take, sir. If it's only the second day, it's bad."

I rolled my eyes at the teacher's stupidity. I didn't want to associate with someone so ignorant.

The classroom was all the way across campus. We had to run to get there before the situation escalated too much. By the time we got there, two teachers were standing outside their doors listening in on the wailing we heard from inside.

I was the first one inside, scanning the eyes of kids sitting in their seats. No Tao in sight.

"He's under my desk." Mr. Leeteuk said.

"Where's his backpack?" Lu Han asked.

"Are you taking him out?" A kid in the front asked. The weird part was...he didn't sound arrogant.

"No. I brought Tao's brothers here to talk to us. About Tao." Mr. Leeteuk explained.

Expressions of confusion swept the room. Now I understood why he asked both of us to come.

"Hm...how about I calm down Tao, and you talk to these freshies." Lu Han suggested. I didn't get the chance to oppose or agree, because he already dug the giant doll from Tao's backpack and went over to the desk. "Hey Tao-Tao. Look who I brought! Wanna hug Stitch?"

An arm flew out from under the desk and snatched the doll from Lu Han's hands. The wailing stopped but sobs continued.

"Go take him out to the vending machines. He might want something to eat. Speaking of which, get me a Sprite. I'm thirsty." I suggested.

"Ok. Tao, wanna get some chips? Or a soda?" Lu Han bent under the desk and scooped Tao into his arms. He smiled to the class and walked out. "Start with the facts!" He reminded me.

"Right..." I muttered, stealing Mr. Leeteuk's stool and taking a seat. "What happened to make him cry?" I began.

The whole class looked awkwardly at each other. It had to be something they triggered, because Tao didn't throw tantrums like that unless it was someone else's fault.

"Hoyup called Tao a chink. Then he said he was an idiot and pushed him. Tao just wanted to return a pencil he found on the ground." The guy in the front answered again.

I took a deep breath. Patience, patience.

"Hoyup. Where are you?" A tall kid in the back shifted uncomfortably. My eyes narrowed at him.

"I'm here." He finally forced out.

"Ok. Hi. Can I ask you something? Do you know what down syndrome is?" I started.

"Umm..." He nodded. "This girl at our school has it."

"Would you ever say anything bad to her? Call her stupid because she can't learn as fast as you can?"

He met my eyes, shocked. "No! She can't help that!"

I nodded. "Well neither can Tao."

"He...he doesn't have down syndrome."

"No. He has autism." I clarified.

"What's that?" A girl in the back asked.

"It's a mental disability. A lot like down syndrome." Mr. Leeteuk told the students. "What did you say, Chanyeol?" He asked the kid in the front, who muttered something.

"Mindblindness." He said louder, staring at his desk.

"What's that mean?" Hoyup asked.

"It means...Tao can't interpret mental things. If someone walks into a room, spots their friend's diary, takes it and leaves, Tao can't understand the 'why' part of it. He will just understand a person walking into a room, taking a book, and leaving. What we would do is assume that person wants blackmail, or is snooping, or their friend asked them to bring it to them." Chanyeol said.

Saying I was impressed would be like saying the ocean was just a pond.

"Exactly. My brother just thought you hated him, and got upset." I explained.

"I...I was just in a bad mood today. I didn't know he would cry..." Hoyup said guiltily.

I thought for a moment. "You should apologize to him. He would understand if you were mad about something else."

"Can you tell us how to prevent autism?" A girl asked. Her voice was whiny and her lips formed a pout.

My anger boiled in the pit of my stomach. "Don't have kids." I snapped.

Some rat-faced boy laughed. "He called you autistic, Yui!"

"Get out of my classroom, Dongsun." Mr. Leeteuk told him.

"What? But-"

"I assure you, it's for your own safety. Kris looks like he might murder you for that distasteful comment. I will be calling your parents too. Just take your stuff and go to the vice principal's office."

The kid groaned and got up, leaving with the students staring at me.

"Autism is something you are born with. You can't fully prevent it unless you not have kids. The gene is more common now than ever. If Lu Han or I have kids, there is a big chance they will have autism. If not, they will carry the gene, just like we do."

The door opened slowly in the back, and all the students were too distracted to notice. Both of my brothers walked quietly in.

The kid behind Chanyeol raised his hand. "This doesn't have to do with autism, but your other brother. Didn't he graduate last year? And are you guys twins?"  

Lu Han laughed, making everyone turn around. "We're iris twins. Born nine months apart. As for graduating...I forgot to put my name on my final project, so I failed. And I was too lazy to go to summer school. They said I had to repeat the year."

"Stupid people being mean to Gege!!" Tao whined.

"Right, stupid people." I smiled.

"T-Tao..." Hoyup stood. "I'm so sorry for saying those things. I...I didn't know you would cry."

Tao squirmed uncomfortably and sipped his soda through his straw. He didn't like the taste of aluminum, so we got a special plastic straw for all the time he wanted soda. "It's ok." He finally said.

"Tao, can you tell Hoyup how you felt when he talked to you like that?" Lu Han asked.

Tao sipped more of the soda and swayed his body to and fro. "Sad."

"So, what else do you want to say to Hoyup?" Gege chided on.

"I don't know!" He suddenly erupted.

The whole class flinched and Hoyup sat back down, afraid of my little brother now.

"Tao." I said sternly. "Be nice."

He bit his lip and turned to face the wall, troubled by the amount of attention.

"Maybe...you can ask Hoyup not to do it again?" Lu Han suggested.

Tao spun back and hopped to Hoyup. "Please don't do it again!" He begged.

Hoyup nodded and apologized again. I felt my work was done, so I grabbed my bag and was about to go out the door when a kid shouted to us.

"Please tell us more about autism! My friend Chanyeol wants to be a psycologist!"

The kid in the front blushed and slammed his head on the desk as the guy behind him called him out. "Kai!" He snarled.

Mr. Leeteuk thought for a moment. "If that's alright with you guys, then you can. If Tao has another tantrum I'm sure some of us would be glad to help."

My brother gave me a what-the-hell look. Tao had gone back to his seat, happily playing with his little buddy Stitch, in his own little world. The one I didn't have access to.

"Gege, where the hell is my Sprite?"

~

Later that evening, the five of us surrounded the dinner table. Me, Lu Han, Tao, and my parents. The atmosphere was more tense than usual.

"So some young gay couple decided to throw themselves off the bridge today." My dad started.

I didn't hate my dad. His opinions just angered me. He was too narrow-minded to accept homouals. To accept me, if he knew what I was.

"Oh, that's totally appropriate for a dinner conversation. Suddenly, this food tastes like rotting flesh. My tastebuds are tainted." I retorted.

He wasn't amused. "Shut up and eat that food your mother worked hard to prepare."

"Oh yes, a microwave is a dangerous device to handle." I went on.

"Wu Yifan." Lu Han said dangerously. I glared but decided to shut it.

"Next time, you get instant ramen." My mother spoke softly, but in her annoyed tone.

"You told me it isn't smart to jump off bridges!" Tao exclaimed, a look of amazement in his eyes.

"That's right! Don't you ever do it!" My mom sternly told him.

"Then...why?" His eyes bulged as if I told him Santa wasn't real. We still hadn't told him that either...

"Because their love probably wasn't accepted." I said icily.

"But..." Tears formed in his eyes as he realized, he didn't understand.

"Tao, some people don't like the freedom to love. Dad here, doesn't." I explained.

"Watch it, boy." He pointed his fork at me. "The Bible doesn't approve of it, and neither will I."  

"The Bible doesn't approve of Tao." The minute those words left my mouth I regretted it.

Tao broke out into sobs. Mom gave me a disappointed look and Lu Han scooted between me and Dad, probably to save me from getting hit.

"God loves Tao." My dad replied, his voice as hard as stone.

"No he doesn't. And for that, I don't need him. Tao and I will find our own God." My anger rising.

"Don't forget about me." Lu Han muttered quietly.

"Yes, Lu Han is invited on our adventure to find the True God."

"True God?" Dad raised his eyebrow, finally amused. He probably thought even lower of me now.

"Yes. The True God will never judge us. No sacrifices, only love. They will never test us. They will never reject us. They will never leave us." I went on.

"Too good to be true. I'll take what I can get." Out of the corner of my eye, my mom shot him a glare, but he failed to notice.

"Tao, let's take out the ice cream, ok?" Lu Han smiled.

Tao broke out in smiles at the words. He hopped up and opened the freezer, taking out the fudgesicles and handing one to each of us.

Why did the True God want to make him suffer?

________________________

If you guys have any questions on autism, ask me. I'd be more than happy to answer.