This a review that I requested from the all awesome Leamon swirls. Maria *The reviewer* If your reading this thank you soo much for taking the time to review my story!!! :D Just so everyone knows I am most likly going to reqeust another review for my story! *But shhhh dont tell anyone ;D*

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Title: This Is What Happens
Author: shineegirl1231 and HeatherlovesTaemin

Reviewer: Maria
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/19950/this-is-what-happens-jonghyun-key-korean-minho-onew-shinee-taemin

Title: 5/5

The title is straight to the point and pretty much sums up whats going to happen in the future. Shows abit of mystery and curiousity to me and simple. Clean and easy to understand as well. Overall, the title was great.

Description: 6/10

The description was clean and easy to understand but there was too much 'and she's pretty' in it. Even though the characters were introduced, nothing much of the story was revealed. If you use AFF, the desciption is very important. It is the thing people read before they click on the story and if the desciption is not telling the story very well, its hard for people to get hooked onto the story. However, the characters were well introduced and nicely written, making me still want to read on. Overall, the format was adequete. 

Forward: 8/10

I thought the forward was pretty easy to understand and very descriptive and interesting. You summed up the story pretty well and the characters are well set up. However, i felt it was revealed too much and a forward shouldn't really do that. Or else people would know what would happen in the future and may not read it because of that. But you left me questioning the future and eager to read more so overall, the forward was good.

Graphics/pictures: 9/10

The graphics and pictures were well presented and clean. It also had something to do with the story and very interesting and eye-catching. However, the graphics didn't really show much of the mood of the story but despite that, i thought it was very pretty. Also the cute pictures in the middle of the chapters are very attractive (and cute...;)) and gave a small picture in my head on how the situation might've looked like. Very interesting. Overall, the graphics were nice.

Character descriptions: 9/10

I thought the character descriptions were accurate and easy to understand and straight to the point. However, the personalities weren't really described and did sometimes get a bit cliche (But there is nothing wrong with cliche). I'm not sure if you were not meant to tell the character's personalities, as in if you keep reading, you'll understand them but i just felt distant with the characters and only the facts were given. Overall, the character descriptions were great.

Author's note: 4/5

The author's note was motivating and warm. It was inviting as well and you were speaking to the readers. But sometimes, i felt you were speaking to each other (as in authors) and felt abit (what should i say...left out lol?) however at the end you did say encouraging words and explained anything that was needed to be explained. Overall, the author's notes were motivating.

Plot: 30/35

I think the plot is interesting and easy to understand. Its quite clean and runs smoothly as well and it is not dragged on or too quick. I like the idea even though it is quite common. Overall, the plot is fine.

Writing: 28/35

I thought the writing was great and exciting however there were some awkard moments where Minho would sometimes talk in a girly manner inside his mind (no offense..><). Like this example: 'Navagaye and i totally ignored them'. The way the character talks in his mind in the story affects the personalities and the attutides of the character. If Minho was to be manly yet he spoke in that manner, it is quite hard imagining that. Nevertheless, the minds talking was interesting and the two different people liking each other, yet they don't know it made me want to keep on reading. Overall, the writing was interesting.

Spelling/grammar: 29/30

Most of the spelling and grammar was right yet in some cases, you would jump from one tense to the other. But dont worry too much about that, it makes it more interesting and sometimes makes even more sense. Overall, the grammar was perfect.

Chapter titles: 10/10

The chapter titles were clean, written well and straight to the point. It made me want to read more and question myself 'what's going to happen now?'. Nothing much to say about the titles. They were magnificent.

Ending: -/20

I will not mark this area as you did not complete the story yet.

Rated scenes: -/10

I will not mark this area as this story is not rated.

Format: 8/10

Sometimes the format would confuse my eyes as the writing is in huge chunks of writings and i would sometimes lose track on where i was up to. The writing was readable and clean so no problem there. It wasn't all mushed up even though there was big chunks but you did separate the POVs from each other. Overall, the format was cool.


Total: 146/170

86%...i think lol...^^
I'm not sure...i at maths...><
Ill fix it if its not right.

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psh...fine then taemin...=.=
I'll just stay with Minho...hmph...^^



Whatever...psh...Minho doesn't agree...



.........doesn't prove anything...^^



=.= fine...ill just stay in my corner...*cries in corner*


Some words of wisdom advice...
LOL...don't believe everything i say  but here are some stuff that can improve the story (maybe)
- The description is more elaborated.
- Your way of speaking won't really really affect the guys' speaking (up to you though)...><
- FIGHTING...XDX
LOLOLOL...i like the story. Its cute and adorable...^^
Thehehehheheheh...but not everything i say is right...cause this is just from my perspective...^^
CONTINUE THE STORY ITS AWESOME...XDXD
THANKIES....XDXD
FIGHTING...XDXD and i hope i wasn't too harsh...^^

LOVE MARIA...<333333333