Things had been awkward between Tao and Kris the past few days. Tao had even taken to sleeping in the guest bedroom alone; Kris didn’t want to ask why.

It was just before midnight, and both of them were sitting on the sofa, on separate ends, watching tv. Kris wasn’t paying attention to it, but Tao didn’t take his eyes off the screen. Kris didn’t say anything until the program ended and Tao stood, walking past him towards his bedroom. He reached up and caught Tao’s hand.

“Tao,” he said softly, “what’s wrong?”

Tao shrugged. Kris tugged on his arm and reluctantly, he sunk onto the sofa next to him. Kris placed his hand on Tao’s lower back, but he scooted to the front half of the cushion, slinking away. He sighed. “It’s just…” his voice trailed off.

Kris sat up and leaned close to him, whispering, “It’s just what?”

“It’s my fault that Chen left.”

“But-“

Tao stood and the top of Kris’ hair softly, then walked out of the room. Kris heard the guest bedroom door close. He leaned against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. Everything was falling apart; his friend was gone, and now the person he cared about the most couldn’t see him.

He started pacing the living room. It was late, but he didn’t think he could sleep; it felt strange with Tao in the other room. So close, but so far. A good half hour passed before he relaxed. On his way to his bedroom, he stopped by the guest door, which was closed tight. He pressed his ear against the door. His face fell when he heard soft sniffling from the other side. His hand clutched at his heart; what could he do when Tao didn’t want him there?

Kris retreated to his room and crawled under the covers of his empty bed. He closed his eyes, but then his cellphone vibrated from the bedside table. He flipped it open and squinted at the bright screen. “I’m so sorry, Kris,” it said. Kris frowned.

“Don’t blame yourself,” he texted back.

“I can’t sleep.”

Kris sighed, “Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No.” Tao texted, and then immediately after, Kris received another text, “I don’t want you to see me upset.”

Kris settled into his pillows. He changed the subject, “Will you go somewhere with me tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

Kris nodded and closed the phone, sliding it onto the table again. He buried his face in his hands and tried to relax. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.

“’Where are we going?” Tao asked dully as he slipped on his black and red sneakers at the door. Kris had been ready for awhile, and had even slung Tao’s messenger bag over his shoulder so he didn’t have to carry it.

“Just come with me,” Kris snickered.

Tao looked up at him, frowning slightly. “Can’t you just say?”

“No,” Kris said stubbornly, “Don’t you trust me?”

Tao nodded, but his eyes fell to the floor. Kris took his hand and linked their fingers together; Tao didn’t smile, but he also didn’t jerk away, which for now was good enough for Kris. He led Tao out of the apartment and they took an empty elevator to the bottom floor. Kris never let go of him.

They made their way out of the building and up the street. He wasn’t taking him anywhere ridiculous, but Tao seemed to think so; whenever he glanced at him, his face was pulled into a wince. “It’s not far, I’m sure you’ve been there before.”

“No boats?”

“Nope,” Kris laughed.

Tao realized where they were going; he could see the large garden up ahead. It was intricate and pretty; a great spot for anyone, even tourists. He smirked. “Why are we going here?”

“I think you need some fresh air,” Kris said, squeezing his hand.

They walked through the garden, on the stone sidewalk that cut through the park like a maze. There weren’t many people around; a few couples were huddled near Chinese plum trees, which were still a couple month from blooming. They walked through a section filled with decorative trees and small bushes. Kris knew his way around; they had done a couple photo shoots here before.

Kris led them through to the small duck pond that sat in the very middle. It was empty, but the scene was still nice. Tao shivered and started to take his hand away, but Kris stuffed their linked hands in his coat pocket. Tao smiled softly, putting his other, cold hand in his own pocket; Kris did the same.

Tao sighed, relieved, “Maybe I did need to get out a bit. It’s chilly, though.”

“It’s only going to get colder from here,” Kris said quietly, staring out at the lake, “Winter hasn’t even arrived yet.”

Tao nodded.

They were quiet for a moment, then both started to speak simultaneously. “You first,” Kris said.

Tao frowned, “I really do feel awful.”

“You shouldn’t,” Kris replied solemnly.

“He left because of me.”

“He did that on his own,” Kris said plainly, “and he could come back someday. When he relaxes.”

“Chen really cared about you,” Tao sighed, his gaze falling to his feet, “It makes me feel badly that we hurt him like that.”

“Did you want me to pick him?” he teased.

“No,” Tao whispered, closing his eyes, “Ahh… I feel so greedy.”

Kris held his hand tightly, “I wouldn’t have picked him, Tao,” he said softly. Tao let his eyes slide slowly to his face, “This has put so much tension between us,” he sighed, “but there could never be anything between Chen and I,” Kris hesitated, then caught Tao’s eyes and murmured, “He’s not the one I love.”

“W-what?”

“It’s you, Tao,” Kris said, his eyebrows furrowed sadly, “You’re the only one I can see.”

Tao released Kris’ hand and pulled it out of his coat pocket. Kris frowned. Tao looked up at him, stunned, but then slowly placed his hands on Kris’ hips and stepped closer, so their chests were barely brushing against each other. He rested his chin on his shoulder as Kris held him tightly.

He closed his eyes and smiled, “I love you too, Kris.” He could barely hear Kris’ heart beat faster when he said it, which made his smile brighter.

Kris pulled back slightly, tilting his head to kiss him on the cheek, but Tao turned and caught his lips with his, kissing him softly.

“Your lips are cold,” Kris whispered.

“That’s one reason I keep you around.”

Kris laughed loudly, then kissed him again, just as softly. Tao pulled away and took his hand, leading them back out of the garden. He chattered quietly about coffee and snacks, but Kris couldn’t hear him. He was too happy, too excited, to pay attention and Tao was too dazzled and had too many butterflies in his stomach to stop.