Chapter 16

Of This I Am Certain

 

“Alright Kyungsoo, we’re going to have to end here,” the producer’s voice sounded through his headphones.  “We’re running low on time and the others still have to go.”

 

“But I wasn’t –“

 

“It’s just the first session.  We’ll record again later.”

 

Make sure Kai and Sehun won’t be there then, flirting on the recording room couch.  Maybe then I’ll be able to focus.  Kyungsoo hung up his headphones in irritation, frustrated with himself, frustrated with “Baby Don’t Cry,” frustrated with Kai, with everything.  He’d been working for hours with Baekhyun in this tiny little studio, forced to watch the other members grow more and more impatient as they waited to record their parts for “Two Moons.”  Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to get the tone of “Baby Don’t Cry” right under the not-so-watchful eye of Kim Jongin. 

 

At the door, Kai pushed past him, not even bothering to glance in his direction.  Kyungsoo was about to wish him luck, but the words died on his lips at his dongsaeng’s abruptness.  He slowly made his way back to the other members, feeling very small and more than a little dejected. 

 

“It’s ok, Kyungsoo-ah.” Chanyeol placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to console him about the recording session.  “It’s been a long day.  For all of us.”

 

“And you were perfect singing ‘Mama’ earlier,” Baekhyun added.  “That high note – daebak!”

 

Ah, yes.  Mama. The angry and the desperate, that I can do. 

 

“Thanks,” he said bluntly, shaking off Chanyeol’s hand.  He kept his face blank, but inside he was fuming.  Ever since he hurt his back a few days ago, Kai had basically stopped talking to him, only acknowledging him when it was absolutely necessary.  He clung to Sehun even more now for support – to all the other members, actually.  Everyone except for him.  Kyungsoo had hoped Kai would lean on him like he used to, and it upset him that he had no right to expect it anymore.  If only he would look at me.

 

During Kai’s recording, Kyungsoo couldn’t decide which was more difficult, staring him down, or looking anywhere else.  In the end, he had to leave, using some excuse to practice in peace.  Everyone knew he was in a bad mood, but they probably thought it had to do with the recording, so they didn’t bother him. 

 

 

 

The whole ride home, Kyungsoo barely spoke a word.  The only one who didn’t seem to care was Kai, which made him more frustrated and withdrawn.  He’d gotten through these past few months because Kai was still there for him.  Temptation was torture, yes, but rejection?  That was infinitely worse.  Sometimes when Kai looked at him, it made him feel like there was no one else but them.  Even though Kai didn’t feel the same, it was enough to get him by.  Now that he was ignoring him, he had nothing.  And he was starting to fall apart.  It was like he was invisible if Kai didn’t see him.   

 

When they arrived, Kyungsoo headed for the kitchen.  He wanted ice cream or something equally delicious to take his mind off things.  It turned out to be a huge mistake, as Sehun took it as an opportunity to get food from him.  Usually his pleading aegyo was cute, but today it was just annoying. 

 

“Ah, I’m so hungry.”

 

Kyungsoo said nothing as he opened the fridge and began rummaging.  He knew Sehun was sitting at the table looking pitifully at him.  But he would not turn around.  He would not give in.

 

“Are you going to make something, Kyungsoo hyung?” 

 

“Thinking about it.”

 

“Pleeeease.”

 

Not seeing anything in particular, he closed the refrigerator door and turned toward the snack cupboard, only to be met with his walking nightmare, Kim Jongin.  Standing with his hands in his pockets, he bit his lower lip and tried to act cute.  But it wasn’t cute.  It was horrible.

 

“Won’t you make us something, umma?” he asked, eyes twinkling as he tilted his head toward Sehun. 

 

“Make it yourself,” he said, pushing past him.

 

He threw open the cupboard door and grabbed the first bag of crackers.  When he turned around, he saw Kai had made his way behind Sehun, hugging his shoulder. 

 

“But hyung, how can you resist Sehun-ah?” Kai asked, both of them pouting at him.

 

At that moment, something inside Kyungsoo snapped.  Finally Kai was speaking to him, and it was for Sehun.  So he could spend more time with Sehun.  Their ‘close’ relationship was hard enough, but using him for their little snack time was like a slap in the face.  Kai was making a joke out of him.  Again. 

 

“Oh no, I’m not watching this,” he said, throwing the crackers on the table and heading for the door.  “I have to clean.  Don’t get in my way.” 

 

He started taking the dorm apart, cleaning everything furiously.  Once again, everyone knew he was angry, but they gave him a wide berth.  The only place he avoided was Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room after he’d seen them flee there from his sweeping.  People tend to discover secrets accidentally while cleaning other people’s messes, and let’s just say Kyungsoo knew his hyungs were very close.  And he was in no mood to walk in on anything today.  All these lovey-dovey couples made him sick.

 

When he started cleaning his and Kai’s room, Kai actually followed him, watching him as he leaned against the doorway.  Kyungsoo only cleaned faster.

 

“Are you mad?” Kai asked cautiously.

 

Kyungsoo threw a notebook in a drawer and slammed it shut before turning to glare at him.  “What do you think?”

 

“What’s wrong then?”

 

So now you care.  Instead of answering, he turned his attention to the bookcase.  “These books – someone moved them. How long has it been like this?  Everything’s out of place,” he muttered, frantically pulling and rearranging books on the shelf. 

 

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Kai asked again, a little louder.

 

At this point, Kyungsoo couldn’t stand the feeling of Kai’s eyes on him anymore.  He left the books in disarray and stormed out of the room.

 

“Where are you going now?”

 

“To take out the garbage,” Kyungsoo snarled, entering the kitchen and throwing off the lid to the trashcan.

 

“I can help.”

 

“I can do it myself.”

 

Tying up both the garbage and the half-empty recycling in mere seconds, he rushed out the door, Kai still following him.  Why?  WHY?!

 

He heard Kai overtake him and felt him grasp one of the bags in his hands. He tried to resist, but the younger boy was still stronger and managed to take the bag from him.  Kai walked ahead of him to the garbage chute at the other end of the apartment building.  Kyungsoo threw his bag in and immediately turned to leave but Kai grabbed his wrist.

 

“Seriously, what is it?  You’re acting like a crazy person right now.”

 

“Mind your own business, Jongin-ah.”

 

Kai only gripped his arm more tightly.  He closed his eyes for a moment as if about to say something difficult.  “Is it Chanyeol?”

 

Kyungsoo stopped resisting, suddenly very confused.  “What are you talking about?”

 

Kai slowly dropped Kyungsoo’s hand, looking unsure of himself.  “Baekhyun then?”

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol?  How does he know about them?  Even I’m not supposed to know about them…

 

“How do you know about – what does that have to do with anything?”

 

“I’m not blind, Kyungsoo.  I see how you are around them.”

 

“Oh, so you can see me.”

 

“Believe me, I wish I didn’t.  But when you act like a jealous – “

 

“At least I don’t flirt with everything that moves.”

 

Kai’s face hardened.  “You’re right.  Nevermind.”  He started walking back toward the apartment in a huff.

 

“Going back to Sehun-ah, then?” Kyungsoo screamed at his retreating back.  It was impulsive and he’d probably regret it, but he was still angry and utterly confused.

 

Kai stopped, spun on his heels, and walked back until he was only a foot from him.  When he spoke, his voice was cold, but his eyes were sad.

 

“What would you have me do, Kyungsoo?  How else am I supposed to get over you?”

 

Me?  Get over me?!

 

“Should I completely ignore you?  Should I leave?”

 

“No-“ Kyungsoo whispered, turning ice cold at the thought.

 

“And why should you even care?  You rejected me, remember?”

 

“Stop – “ Wait.  What is he saying?? Too much is happening…

 

“Do I offend you that much?  Or do I threaten you, is that it?  You call Baekhyun and Chanyeol, I get it.  I’ll leave you alone.”

 

Kyungsoo felt his eyes go wide as everything Kai said began to register. Oh, what a fool I’ve been.  “That’s what you think?” 

 

Kai just stood there glaring, inches from his face.

 

“You idiot!” Kyungsoo yelled, pushing Kai backward.  “Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!”

 

With each word, he pushed him further and further back until Kai caught his wrists in alarm.  Kyungsoo wrenched his arms free, cupped Kai’s face in his hands, and kissed him deeply, finally, the way he’d always wanted to.

 

“I like you, Kim Jongin.  So don’t you ever leave me alone.”

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting so long!  I was busy and I couldn't get the chapter right.  It's still crap, but I didn't want you to wait any longer!!

Hope ya'll are ready for some cheesiness ^^  I'll update soon, I hope.

Also, special thanks to _lovesepheni for the awesome poster that is now the main image!!  She's awesome. End of story.

 

@shadowdragon357  I'm glad you liked the line.  It's one of my favorites XD

@kyunghochae  Please keep reading and telling me to update!  It motivates me to keep writing!

@WeirdoTheGreat   *O* I activated Spanish spazzing mode? lo siento... I hope this chapter's ending makes you happier ^^

@tarp_walls  @FFaith1708 @neekha @morawhite   New Readers!!!  Welcome!  Thank you for reading and telling me your thoughts <3

 

THANKS NEW SUBSCRIBERS, OLD READERS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME, COMMENTERS FOR BEING AWESOME, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO'S READING!

<3 kab

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Mari_x
#1
Chapter 18: Dear author.*sobs hard*when are you going to continue this story?*sobs harder*im in love with this
dyodo931201
#2
amazing <3 kaisoo is love <3
thank you so much author nim
thegardenofstars
#3
Chapter 18: Kaisoo is definitely real *v* (delusional fangirl here cough cough) but please update soon! (:
kikinana #4
are you going to continue this story?
otomoyo
#5
Chapter 6: Awwwwwe those last lines of Chapter 6 were so guuusshhhyyyy aahghhgg. Loving this! I am probably going to read it all before I can go to bed now haha.
MeiXiah #6
New reader!! My KaiSoo feels cannot be contained everytime I read this x3 The nth time I spazzed at 2am in the morning because of this fic... I cannot. >.< Please update soon~
tzinibillyshin
#7
Chapter 17: OMG!!

I SO LOVE YOUR STORY!! please update soon!!
MY KAISOO FEEELS!!
can you do a for us please? ><
SarahRiich #8
Chapter 18: UPFATE SOON CUZ YOU GOT ME HOOKED~



Sorry for prev comments.. Too many KAISOO feels I couldn't contain so I had to BLAB it out~