Kyungsoo made it back just in time for curfew, feeling utterly spent.  He'd been wandering aimlessly around their neighborhood for hours, unable to face Kai, or anyone for that matter.  All that time thinking made two things abundantly clear. He needed to forget, because above all, he didn't want to lose Kai as a friend.  And forgetting was the one thing he knew was impossible. 

His manager's murderous gaze was there to welcome him, but he was too exhausted to care.  With a deep breath, he entered their room.  He couldn't make out Kai's sleeping form in the dark, but he could hear him snoring.  He hadn't realized Kai snored before, but tonight, he could only feel relief that he was already sleeping.  He laid down with his back to Kai.  Easier than expected, he thought, as he drifted off to sleep.  

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by Kai's dreaming face, his hand mere inches from his dangling between the beds.  He must have turned over in his sleep to continue the nightmare that was his life.

"Arrgh," he groaned, burying his head in his pillow.  He rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes awake.  He could tell by the light it was early, but he knew sleep was going to be impossible at this point.

"Look at me, I'm a mess," he groaned again, noticing he'd fallen asleep in his clothes.  He kicked off the covers, rolled out of bed, and prepared to take the longest ice cold shower he'd ever had.

Before heading to the bathroom, he paused at Kai's bedside.  He unconsciously reached out to brush hair out of Kai's eyes but stopped short.  His hand hovered there for several seconds before thinking better of it.  He inwardly sighed as he rushed from the room.  It's going to be a long day.

When he had showered and dressed, he was still the only one awake.  Desperate to avoid his room, he started preparing the rice for breakfast.  It was way too early, but again, he frankly didn't care.

"Kyungsoo - what are you doing up?" Suho asked entering the kitchen, squinting in the morning light.  

"I just couldn't sleep."

"Hmmm.  But you got home so late.  Did something happen?"

"No...Kai's shoot just got me excited for debut, I guess."

Suho nodded sleepily, taking a seat at the table.  "You didn't talk to Jongin at all yesterday, did you?"

"No," Kyungsoo said, turning his back to Suho.  He could feel himself blushing.  "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering how the shoot went.  He went right to bed when he came home.  I don't know if he was just tired or something happened..."

"Oh," Kyungsoo said, suddenly very busy with washing the rice.  Being the concerned leader that he was, Suho could be extremely observant, which in this case might pose a problem.  "I'm sure he was just tired."

"I hope so.  We should let him sleep in though."

I couldn't agree more.  Kyungsoo nodded as Suho walked out to start his morning routine.  

It felt like forever before Sehun joined him in the kitchen for his usual morning glass of milk.  Chanyeol and Baekhyun followed soon after, and mornings always went faster once the 'mood-makers' were up.  They didn't exactly lift his spirits today, but they helped the time pass. 

When everyone was emptying their bowls, Kai still hadn't surfaced.  Out of habit more than anything, Kyungsoo started rolling the rice and fried egg into kimbap for him.  He figured he might as well maintain a semblance of normalcy.

Baekhyun caught him glancing at his bedroom door for perhaps the hundredth time, but luckily didn't catch the meaning.  "Did Kai leave dirty clothes on the floor again," he teased.  "Did it give you nightmares?"

Kyungsoo slapped his hand with a spoon.  "For that, you can wake him."

"Ahhh!  Alright, alright, I'll wake the beast.  Happy?" he said, massaging his hand.  He knew Baekhyun would take his sweet time, and that was perfectly fine. 

He didn't manage to get him up until it was mere minutes before they had to leave.  It wasn't until he was leaving the kitchen and Kai was rushing out of the bathroom that he finally saw him.  They both stopped short in the tiny hallway.  

"Here's some breakfast.  You'll need it," he blurted out, offering the tubberware container he'd just packed.

Kai stared at the container long and hard before finally taking it from him.  "Thanks," he muttered, lifting his eyes to meet his.  Kyungsoo gulped.

"Time to go," Chanyeol interrupted loudly, pushing them both towards the door.  "Kai, man, you look like a corpse.  No one would guess that you sleep the most."

Kai and Kyungsoo were the only ones not laughing as they made their way outside and into the company van.  The entire ride over, Kyungsoo watched Kai nervously from the backseat, but all he did was listen to his iPod and sleep.  Was he really just tired?  Was he ignoring him?  Would that be a good thing?  Too many questions, and no answers.

When the car finally stopped and everyone climbed out, Baekhyun tried out a truly terrible Chanyeol impession.  Chanyeol inevitably started chasing him.  Suho tried to get them to calm down, and was even more inevitably ignored.  Kyungsoo found himself next to Kai, and without thinking they smiled at each other before awkwardly looking away.

Kyungsoo glanced at Kai again before looking back at the ground, clearing his throat.  He needed to break this tension somehow.

"You know you snore."

"Wha-what?!"  Kai turned, laughing in surprise.  "I do not."

"You do.  I heard you last night."

Kai let out a frustrated sound as his face scrunched and he buried his head in his hands like always did when he was embarrassed.  

"You're crazy, hyung," he finally said, heading inside.

Some things didn't change.  And it made Kyungsoo's heart break just a little bit more.  

____________________________________________________________________________

~2 months later~

"Kai, you need to take it easy," Yixing warned, cutting Kai off in practice with a hand on his shoulder.  

Kai merely shook his head, shrugging him off.

"We both know that was a nasty fall you took earlier." 

"I'm fine,"  Kai insisted, trying to hide his hobble.

"We're debuting soon, don't screw this up."

"Worry about yourself, Lay," he snapped.

"Is that your waist talking, or your exhaustion?" Lay countered.  

Neither, he thought, easing himself into a chair.  These past two months had been horrible, and they only seemed to be getting worse.  He was still very awkward and distant with Kyungsoo, but his stupid, oblivious hyung actually seemed comfortable with their position.  He was clearly too enthralled by Baekhyun or Chanyeol or both of them together, he wasn't even sure anymore.  He knew he should feel happy for his hyung because he was happy and with who he wanted, but he wasn't that good a person.  

Partly out of jealousy, and partly just to distract himself, he'd gotten particularly close with Sehun, and by extension Luhan when he was around.  Sehun appreciated the company since he couldn't spend a lot of time with Luhan, and after so many years with Kai, he knew the intimacy was pretty empty.  Luhan was just touchy-feely with everyone, so Kai took advantage of that.  Kyungsoo, however, seemed completely indifferent.  He'd just stare blankly off in his own little world, and that only made Kai cling to Sehun more.  It made him feel sick sometimes, but he kept doing it.  

Every once in awhile, when the temptation was too great, Kai would tease Kyungsoo directly - throw an arm over his shoulder, around his waist, hold his hand, or just wink - to see if he got any sort of reaction.  He usually got another blank stare, and sometimes a truly radiant smile, but not much else.  He regretted it every time.  And Kyungsoo still chatted at him, cooked for him, looked out for him, as if nothing had happened.  Because that was the caring idiot that he was.  The life-ruiner.

Yixing was pretty used to his bad moods by now, so he left him alone as he brooded in the corner.  He must have told Sehun about his waist though, because he came to walk him out when it was time to head home.  Sehun's shoulders were a bit too high for his liking, but he stopped complaining when they met up with Kyungsoo and the other K members.  Kyungsoo stared, but it was like he was looking right through him.  His back hurt, nothing was going right, so he started whispering a funny story very close to Sehun's ear to make everything that much worse. 

Later that night, Kai lay on his bed, trying to relax.  His waist was still killing him.  Everything hurt.

The bedroom door opened, and his heart beat faster as Kyungsoo soundlessly entered.  He slowly approached the bed, brow furrowed in a stoney expression.  His milky skin shone eerily in the dim light.  Like a statue.  My Kyungsoo. 

He imagined his slender figure straddling him and kissing him tenderly, pulling all the ache from his body.  He could almost feel his arms encircling his thin frame, that’s how much he wanted him.

But none of that happened.  He isn’t mine.

Instead, Kyungsoo sat lightly by his side and placed his hand over Kai’s middle, so light he barely felt it. 

“Where does it hurt, Kai-sshi?”  I could drown in that voice.

Jongin stared up at him with half-lidded eyes, his mind a mess of emotions.  It hurts wherever you are, and wherever you aren’t.  I need you to take the pain away.

But he didn’t say any of that.  Instead, he grasped Kyungsoo’s smooth hand and guided it to his right waist.  He felt Kyungsoo’s hand pull out of his and his heart sank. 

Kyungsoo’s eyes pored over him silently for a moment before he got up again. 

“I’ll go get Suho-hyung.  He’s good at working out aches.”  This time his voice was harder, more resolved.  With that, he was gone, leaving Kai empty.

 It still hurts.

This is not what I wanted.  

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm just a really cruel and depressing person.  This chapter is full to the brim with awkward and angst.  At least it's long?

Don't worry, I won't draw it out too too much longer ^^

@kyungochae @Gracejjang  @CheWxXxiii I'm sorry for the short length!  I'll try harder to keep them long and meaty XD

@kaisooinlove  Whoa, chincha??  You are too kind, I am blushing!  I am motivated to write even more now ^^  KaiSoo 4ever <3

@_lovesepheni  More KaiSoo kisses?  You got it -stick around!  Thank you for taking the time to read this!!

@conceptzero  I CONVERTED SOMEONE!!  Praise Krisus Hallelujah!  Welcome aboard XD

To everyone, thank you so so so so much!!!  

I'm sorry Kyungsoo is a huge idiot and Kai is a jealous flirt.  They're well matched.

Will update soon!

<3 kab