Donghae I promise I will never leave you. I promise I will always be there for you; and we will stay together forever. No matter what lies ahead, how fate leads us, I promise I will always love you. I will fight the path forward with you. I will never let go of you.

“HYUKKIE!!!!!!!!!! HYUKKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

Yes I promised…

YES!! I PROMISED!!! I PROMISED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLANG! Darkness surrounding me shattered like glass. Pieces of black fragments showered down like rain around me. And the whole place was shaking. I was so terrified I dared not move. My eyes were squeezed shut and my body was trembling.

It felt like forever. I didn’t know what’s happening. I couldn’t even tell which side was up which side was down. At the end I was thrown onto the ground…

Silence…

It’s finally stopped? Tentatively I opened my eyes.

“Why? Hyukkie… How could you do this to me?” Slowly I shifted my eyes and saw Donghae. He was murmuring in his sleep. Clenching my hand in his, he was sitting on a chair beside the bed; his head on his arms and his arms on the bed. Tears stained his face.

For some time I couldn’t believe I was finally back. Donghae… it’s so good to see you again… I thought… I really thought… Unstoppable tears flooded my eyes and trickled down my cheeks.

Suddenly Donghae jolted up. “NO!!! HYUKKIE!!!”

I looked at him and tried to speak. “…Donghae…” My throat was certainly cracked at that time as it caused me so much pain. And I could barely hear my own voice.

Though it was hardly audible, Donghae heard (or sensed) and looked at me. We locked eyes with each other. For a long time both of us were frozen. None of us could speak. Donghae’s expression changed from frightened to shocked to uncertain to relieved and finally to thankful and glad.

Gates inside were opened and tears just kept flooding and bursting out of our eyes. He kissed my hand deeply and continued clenching it tight. “… Hyukkie… Hyukkie…”

No word could describe that moment… the joy, the thankfulness, the relief, the beauty… It was so close… so close… We were so close to being separated forever. What a big gift it was that we were still holding hands? Every moment we were together was a gift. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered but that we stayed together…

“… Hyukkie… Pls… Don’t ever do this again. It was so horrible… It’s something I cannot bear… I can’t live without you… Hyukkie…” Donghae kissed my hand again; clenching it even tighter; crying even harder.

“… Donghae… I’m sorry… I… I love you…” If my body allowed at that moment I would have embraced Donghae tightly in my arms. Donghae do you know you saved my life? Without you I would have been gone already… And as long as I’m here, I will make sure you are happy and protected and loved… Donghae… I love you…

I had to stay in the hospital for a few more months. There was not a single day Donghae didn’t pay a visit. Sometimes he looked so exhausted it pained my heart seeing him like that. However whenever I said it’s OK not to visit me every day he would say “Hyukkie nothing really matters but you”. And he would always remember to give me his angelic smile.

That day he came as usual with a lunchbox. “Hyukkie I made it this time!!”

Oh my God!It took every effort in me not to frown or look alerted. “Why? You don’t have to do so much…”

“Ryeowook had schedule today.” Cheerfully he said as he set down the lunchbox and necessary utensils in front of me. “Do you not like it?” He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and pouted.

“Don’t be silly. Of course I appreciate everything you do. Thank you Donghae.” Sincerely I smiled and thanked him.

Well I was not so sure about my thankfulness when I took the first spoonful. I kept reminding myself it was taking Donghae absolutely a whole lot to prepare. He should really be banned from the kitchen. And everything I learnt and acquired during acting classes back in the trainee period paid off at that time. I was actually proud of myself for not flinching a bit while I continued “enjoying” the food.

But then something really scary happened. Donghae took out another lunchbox and started taking the first mouthful. “NO!” I tried to stop him but it was too late.

“AWWW! It’s awful!! How could you eat that? Hyukkie?” Donghae spewed out what he just took.

I chuckled when I looked at him. Taking a deep breath I answered. “Because I love you Donghae.” I extended my hand to touch his cheek while his eyes started welling up.

He came to sit beside me and rested his head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry Hyukkie… I’m so useless…” He wrapped his arms around me and started sobbing.

I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. “Donghae don’t cry. Remember I said I appreciate everything you do? Don’t be upset OK? I love you Donghae.”

“Really?” He looked up with watery eyes.

I nodded and his hair. “Of course I love you. What’s making you doubt that?”

“No I mean… you appreciate… the food…?” Donghae looked down while a teardrop rolled down his cheek.

I wiped away his tears with my thumb. Before I answered I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was like I was making a big decision. Donghae I’d do anything for you. “Yes. And I can finish the 2 lunchboxes if you want.”

“It’s just…” I bit my lip when he looked at me again. I hope this is not asking for too much…

I continued. “It’s just… could you go to the canteen and get me some strawberry milk? I desperately need that…”

He pouted but soon he smiled and gave me a peck on my cheek. “I love you so much Hyukkie. No forget about the lunchboxes. I will get you your strawberry milk and something else from the canteen.” The next minute he bounced out the ward while I silently gave thanks in my prayer.

Donghae was very happy that day. I was finally recovered and could go back to the dorm. It would only take a few more weeks before I could resume my full schedules. I myself was really looking forward to that.

He was hugging me so tight on our way back to the dorm in the van. “Donghae… can you release me? I’m having difficulty breathing…”

Instead he hugged me even tighter and brushed his nose against my cheek. “Oh I’m afraid not Hyukkie. I almost lost you and I can’t help holding you tight.” The next minute he gently kissed my cheek.

I sighed and let him.

Something came to my mind and I asked. “Donghae you have any dream?”

He was bewildered. “What? Why? When? Yesterday?”

“No. I mean if you have any dream you want to achieve.” I rolled my eyes and looked at him.

“My dreams have come true. I have you. We made debut together. You are with me now and we will continue to stay together.” He smiled and rested his head on my shoulder.

“That’s all? Is there anything you would like to do? A dream which we can achieve together?” I put on a facial expression telling him I was being serious.

He tilted his head to think for a while. “Yes. There’s one thing.”

I gave him a questioning look and he continued. “Remember I’m your fan? Your fan would surely be blissful if we can perform together. Not that we always do with the other members. I mean a performance given by only the 2 of us.”

“That’s a good idea! Let’s do that shall we? You do the song and lyrics. I’ll work on the choreography. We can talk to manager hyung tomorrow. Maybe in the next super show!” I smiled and was glad seeing Donghae’s eyes brightened, beaming with joy.

Donghae as long as I’m here I will make sure you are happy and protected and loved.

Everyone agreed to our suggestion. Donghae was so enthusiastic he started working on the song right away. I had to admit Donghae was brilliant in composing songs and lyrics. Every evening in the dorm we devoted our time to the performance, striving to make it perfect.

When the Super Show Asian Tour was approaching the 2 of us practiced even harder in the dance studio. It’s the same place, SM Entertainment building room 327, where I first realized Donghae was part of my life.

Date of the first show arrived. Donghae and I were waiting to go on stage. He took my hand and said. “Hyukkie. I’m actually worried… to dance beside you. You’re too wonderful…”

I gripped his hand tighter and told him sincerely. “Donghae don’t be silly. You dance really very well!” With my eyes and smile I assured him one more time and then we walked on stage. Deafening screams and applause overwhelmed us.

The music began.

That was really amazing. I had never imagined that. Both of us were dissolved in the music. Emotions of Donghae’s song filled every cell in our bodies. Our dance steps flowed together with the melody; and were at the same time resonating with the rhythm. The 2 of us were so connected at that time. I couldn’t take my eyes off him while we performed. Even the tiniest moves he made; tilting of the head, curving of the fingers, lifting of the shoulders, bending of the knees, even winking of his eyes; were perfect. It was just too perfect.

We halted when the music faded, our fingers intertwined.

Fans were chanting “Eunhae” over and over again. I was trembling with joy as the burst of applause enveloped us. Thanks for this memorable moment… I cannot ask for more…

Soon the day came when we had our performance in the last super show for that year. Back in the hotel room both Donghae and I were so overwhelmed with emotions. All we could do was to bury ourselves in each others’ arms and wept.

“… Hyukkie… Thank you… so… much…”

“…No Donghae… Thank you… I can’t say thanks enough…”

Everything was so perfect. We had our dreams fulfilled. We shared a bond so strong which I couldn’t treasure and be thankful enough. We had each other in our arms…

They said good things never last. The moment you get it, the next moment you lose it.

I cupped his face with my hands and pressed my forehead against his. “Donghae. Pls listen carefully. This is important.”

With a surprised and confused expression on his face he nodded. And I continued. “Remember this. Donghae. Remember how much I love you. That’s all I ask. Remember how much I love you.”

I held him tight in my arms and kissed him deeply on his cheek. Be strong Lee Hyukjae. You cannot break down. As long as you’re here Donghae has to be happy, protected and loved. You need to keep him happy as long as possible…

Donghae frowned and hugged me back. “What’s wrong Hyukkie?”

I shook my head and tried my best to fight back my tears. “No nothing.”

“It’s the first time you kissed me Hyukkie. Without me asking you to. You’re weird tonight.” Donghae said.

I pressed my lips against his cheek with all my love and whispered. “Just remember how much I love you. Remember how much I love you…”

There are dreams that cannot be.

There are storms we cannot weather.

But Donghae, remember how much I love you…

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A/N: I hope you are happy seeing Hyukkie back in one piece. Honestly I was sad knowing I might have upset some of you... Um... there are still some complications though...

A/N2: Some phrases in this chapter were inspired by SJ-M's latest album "TOO PERFECT". Hyukkie is just TOO PERFECT!!!