e i g h t

Believe it or not, it’s already my second date with Hoya, only within three days. Yes, I know I told Na Eun that it would only be for just one time.

But when Hoya called me this morning and asked if I was interested to watch a movie a tonight, I actually said yes in a heartbeat.

I don’t know why though. It could be, perhaps that I’m really enjoying his company; or maybe because I’m using him as a distraction.

But there’s this nagging feeling inside of me saying that, it could be because I want to prove Suho wrong.

He used to say I wouldn’t be able to get any guys to go out with me. That I’ll end up a pathetic loner for the rest of my life. That I wouldn’t be able to know what does it feels like to be in love.

Well Suho, you are wrong. You are so wrong.

You big, fat liar.

Joonmyun don’t know why, but his head is throbbing painfully all of a sudden. He had been fine the whole day; that was why he had asked Bomi out for a movie date at night.

Now, he doesn’t have the heart to cancel their date. He knows she’s looking forward to this, just as much as he is.

Hopefully, a few panadols would do the trick.

“Are you okay?” Bomi asks in concern, touching his arm tentatively. “If you’re not feeling well, we can just turn back – “

“It’s fine,” Joonmyun cuts her off with a small smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Just a slight headache; nothing a doctor like me can’t handle.”

Bomi smirks. “Okay, whatever you say, doc.”

Joonmyun takes her hand in his. “Let’s go get the tickets.”

“Do you want to grab the tickets or the popcorn?” Hoya asks.

“Tickets,” I pick.

“Okay, salty, buttered or sweet?”

“Buttered,” I reply with a smile. Hoya smiles back and nods.

“Okay, we’ll meet at the entrance then.”

He turns to the left and I make my way towards the tickets booth. As I check the timings on the monitor screen, somebody bumps into me from behind, causing me to stumble.

“I’m sorry!” the person immediately apologises and holds out his arms to steady me. “I wasn’t playing attention and – “

“It’s okay,” I say and lift up my head to see the person who had knocked into me.

All at once, I feel as though déjà vu is engulfing me, consuming my energy bit by bit. I try to shake off the disturbing feeling inside of me, forcing myself to look away, but I just can’t.

I shut my eyes close tightly, hoping that when I open them, I won’t see his face in front of me.

But when I open them again, the image of Suho’s 5-year old self disappeared; replaced with a grown, young man soft features instead.

The familiar, soft features which represents my best friend, my Suho.

“Are you okay?” the stranger ask me curiously, with his hand still on mine.

Crazy, I know.

“S-suho?” I stutter, not knowing what I’m doing exactly. How...how do I know this is my best friend whom I have been missing day and night? The one who I still call out for during my darkest, lonely moments. The one who has disappeared totally and breaking his promise of returning home to me.

The scar.

My eyes travel up to his forehead, at the very right corner of his forehead.

It’s small and faint, but it is still visible.

I can see it very clearly.

“Suho!” I shouted but it was no use.

I had just witnessed my best friend falling from the tree, hitting the ground with a loud thud. He had been fine just awhile ago. He must’ve lost his balance somehow.

I quickly jumped down from the tree I was on.

“Suho!” I cried out his name, shaking his stiff self desperately. He wasn’t moving and I could see blood trickling down from the side of his head. It was more than enough to make me panic.

“Suho!”

“Chorong?”

I feel someone touching my shoulder tentatively from behind, snapping me out of my trance instantly. I flinch slightly at his touch.

“Chorong, it’s me,” Hoya’s voice fills my ears. “What’s wrong? Have you bought the tickets?”

I open my mouth to say something, my gaze still fix on the young man in front of me. He’s staring back at me, but with a much more confused expression.

“Suho...” I say in a voice barely above a whisper. “It’s really you...”

But he isn’t making any move to hug me or even smiling at my presence. In fact, he lets go of my hand and back away instinctively.

“I’m sorry,” he says instead. “You must have the wrong person.”

It’s all such a blur for me. Hoya’s voice fading into the background, the noises around me tuned out completely. Everything in the room is spinning in a slow, nauseous moment, just like when Suho broke the news of him going away years ago.

“...you must have the wrong person...”

Why? Why doesn’t my best friend recognises me?

Worst of all, why does it seem like he doesn’t remember me at all?