f o u r

Dear Suho,

You meanie. I hate you.

Dear Suho,

Is it fun over there? Did you make new friends?

P.s I still hate you.

Dear Suho,

I’m lonely. When are you coming back? You said it’s only for a little while.

P.s I still hate you, but not so much now.

Dear Suho,

I’m not mad at you anymore. Can you please come home now?

Dear Suho,

I’ve finally graduated from high school now. You know, when I was taking my graduation photo just now, I remembered the promise we once made – the one which we said we would be graduating together and have our picture taken. You and me. Remember?

P.s I miss you

Dear Suho,

Even though these letters will never reach you, I just can’t seem to stop writing them. I’m going overseas to continue my studies by the way. Hopefully, when I return to Seoul, you will be here, waiting for me.

P.s I’ve never stopped missing you

“Is she waking up?”

“Did her fingers just moved?”

“Chorong-ah, can you hear me? It’s me, Naeun.”

My heavy eyelids flutters open very slowly but I squint immediately when the sudden brightness hit me. I try to reach up my hand to cover my sight, but it seems like something is tugging back at it, disabling me to move.

I turn to my left slightly and the first thing that I see is eomma’s worried face. She peers down at me, along with two other pair of eyes.

“W-what happened?” I croak out, my voice sounding disturbingly hoarse. “Where am I?”

Eomma heaves a huge sigh of relief. She bends down and cups my cheeks with both of her hands.

“Chorong-ah, you gave us such a scare. You...you know who we are right?”

I frown a little at her question. “Of course I do. Why would I forget you?”

She kisses my face all over until appa has to step in and pull her back.

“You were involved in a plane crash,” appa answered. “Honestly, we didn’t know if we were going to lose you.”

My forehead creases in confusion. “...plane crash?”

Naeun, the closest friend that I have, after Suho left, nods her head eagerly.

“It was crazy Chorong. They only managed to pull out a few of you and thankfully, you survived.”

She grabs hold of my hand and squeezes it gently. I manage a small smile at her, even though every part of my face hurts at the slightest movement.

“How long have I been out?”

“Three days,” eomma answered, my hair delicately. “We were so worried...t-that you wouldn’t be able to pull through...”

She then break into soft sobs, still touching me at the same time. Perhaps it’s because she’s trying to convince herself that her only daughter is still alive.

“There, there,” appa sooths her down. “Our Chorong’s fine now, isn’t she? She even remembers us. That’s good enough.

Remember.

Of course I would remember them.

I remember everything about me...

My other free hand reaches up for my neck, searching for the familiar piece of jewellery.

...including my,

“Where’s my necklace?” I ask in panic, raising my voice a little.

Eomma seem confused for awhile but then realisation hits her. “I...I don’t know sweetheart. They did give us your belongings which they managed to retrieve. Do you want – “

“Yes! Yes, I want to look for it.” I nearly jump out of bed, but then I remember that I was tied down by all these wires. I yank at them forcefully, but it’s only hurting me more.

“Shh, Chorong. Calm down, I will get it for you.” Eomma gestures for Naeun to get the bag for me.

When she returns a few minutes later, I tear the bag away from her. Rude, I know. But I’m getting desperate.

I dump the entire contents onto the white sheet in front of me. In the back of my mind, I know it wouldn’t be there. It couldn’t possibly magically appear in my bag because I was wearing it in the plane.

I had been wearing it around my neck the entire time.

So if it isn’t hanging on me anymore now, it could only mean one thing.

“I-I lost it...” I say, in a voice barely above a whisper. Tears are already b in my eyes.

“I lost my locket.”