"Don't..please don't..." he was crying hard as he was begging me. But i have no choice.

"i have to.. It's the best for both of us..."  it's not it's the worst,the worst for me.I'm sure  as soon as i step out of this room, I'll die inside,cause if i leave you it means I'm leaving my life.

"do you regret about our love?"

how can i regret the best thing ever happened in my life?  "no.. Never..."

"then why?.. Why are you doing this to us?" he said between his sobs.

Because i have to. You think I'm happy doing this? Leaving one last thing thats left for me?  "I'm sorry... Really sorry..."

"hae you promised.." he said calmly but steal crying.

I promised that i Will always love you and I didn't break it. I Will love you forever. No matter where we are. I Will.

"good bye Eunhyuk..." Goodbye my love

--------------------------------------------------------

Donghae's p.o.v:

i suddenly woke up. My face is wet due to tears. did i cry? I remember i had a dream but i can't remember it in details, i think it was about me saying goodbye to someone. But who? Though i don't remember it in details i don't have a good feeling about it,it seemed as a nightmare, I always have nightmares.. My life is a nightmare. Every day, every hour,every minute and every second of it is...

But today's different, Although i woke up crying but i feel good, my head doesn't hurt anymore. suddenly i remembered last night,Eunhyuk was beside me the whole time,even when i started crying because of missing my mum. It's been a while since someone besides him could calm me down.

i got out of my bed heading downstairs,seems like no one's home. "Minho,where are you?" i called out aloud searching for my brother. "Eunhyuk arae you home?" there was no response. i don't know why but i wished eunhyuk was at least home. I went into the kitchen, i decided to have something to eat. i was going to open the fride but a note attached to it caught my attention: 

 Donghae

I'm sorry for leaving and not staying by your side as i promised. hope you're feeling better now that you're reading this. Anyway, i have to leave because heechul hyung wanted me to help him arrange siwon hyung's birthday party,you sure know my life woul've been in danger if i refused . i'm also sending minho to one of his friends' house, i guess he'll sleep over there since he wants you to go to the party too.  take care.

Eunhyuk

ps:hyung please go and don't just stay at home,you need some fun too. i love you.minho

 i put the note aside and grab a bottle of milk. i think i can have a quiet day alone, i'm not a party fan so i don't think i would fullfill minho's wish, i just want to lay on the couch and watch some TV shows.

Suddenly i heard the front door being opened harshly. 'no quiet day for you' i thought to myself.

"When will you stop just laying somewhere,sulking all day?" Heechul hyung said annoyed.

"I'm only resting hyung. a thing sick people do,hyung." 

"I'm sure you've been sleeping until now and that's enough,sick people!!" he moved my feet making me sit on the couch with him joining to sit next to me.

"why? you think i've got enough time to sleep when i die?"  i mocked.

"Shut up Hae,go take a shower,you smell. " he suddenly sounded serious and i guess angry too. He stood up from his place and went upstairs and i followed him but only i went into the bathroom so i don't know where he's going.

Hyung never liked talking about my dying issue. that's why he always avoids talking about it or changes the subject when i talk about it. He doesn't show it too much but he's the most caring person i know beside my mother. i remember him saying " As long as you fight for your life, there's no death waiting for you." Thanks Heechul hyung. Thanks for believing in my life although i have no hope in it as much as you do. Thanks...

As i was drying my hair with a towel i heard noises coming out of my room. i went in the room only to see Heechul hyung messing it up. "Do you mind telling me what you're doing?" he was actually taking every clothes i had out of the wardrobe and examining it for few seconds only throwing it somewhere in the room,where?he didn't care.

"Finding something for you to wear;seriously,you're a prince and yet you don't have a fine suit here. don't tell me you left them all back at the palace." he said continueing what he's been doing.

"If you're thinking about taking me to the party,i'm not..."

"I'm not thinking about it. I'm actually taking you,now wear this."He throwed a black suit in my hand,"It's the best you've got now. don't forget to wear makeup, i want a real prince tonight!"

..............

I don't think there's anything that Heechul hyung can't do;such as taking me to the party.

"Aish hyung you know i don't like parties,why are you taking me there?" i am so mad at him, i thought i could have a quiet day all by myself but he just ruined it.

"You forgot how I love to tease you, haven't you?" he answered with a slight smirk forming on his lips. i could only growl to that,which i did.

"but seriously donghae, you need some fun time too, i' not going to leave you at home alone while everyone around you are having fun."

"i don't care."

"but i do so stop nagging,we're nearly there and there's no way i'll take you back so stop waisting your breath"hyung answered but this time in a really caring voice.  I know you care hyung,thanks for that...

As the car stopped in front of a huge mansion i knew we have arrived. it wasn't as big as the palace i lived in my whole life except this 5 weeks but it was for sure the biggest house in this small island.

"Hae you didn't forget to take your pills again,right? i don't want you fainting again." how does he know? did Eunhyuk...?

"no Donghae,Eunhyuk didn't say anything" It's like you can read my mind hyung;he continued; "he even lied to us and said he sleeped over at his friends' house; but you also know that Minho will spill the beans with only a glare of mine!! by the way don't forget to thank Eunhyuk, after all he carried you all the way to your bed and stayed by your side all the time, and as much as i know you, i'm sure you started crying in the middle of the night" he was talking while taking some things from the car to take them in the mansion.

"I swear i will kill that Minho" i said angrily. but i truly don't blame him, he can't keep secrets from heechul hyung.

But thanking Eunhyuk was another issue. since the first time i saw him this weird feelings have been overwhelming inside me, especially last night, the first smile he gave to me and only me; aish donghae you're just being stupid, even if there is a special feeling, you know you should throw it away, you'll hurt enough people when you leave, your parents, your brother and heechul hyung; you don't want anyone else to be included in your not so great life where there is always darkness and depression,Eunhyuk is too bright and great to be polluted by your life. you can fight this feeling, you HAVE to fight this feeling. you just have to avoid him as much as you can.

" stop day dreaming Donghae,let's get inside" heechul snapped me out of my thoughts.

when we entered,the whole house was decorated perfectly, it was quite crowded even though it was early in the evening and i'm sure more people will come later. after having another weird greeting with siwon while he was holding heechul in his embrace, i was going to walk to the bar rhat was settled in a corner of the living room when someone caught my attention...

A skinny yet well built boy was walking to the dance floor, wearing a white suit, messy red hair with a thin golden hair band on it, his dark eyeliner made his eyes look more deepen. He is just beautiful,yes beautiful; again me and this heartbeats...

This isn't helping my avoiding plan;Eunhyuk; You're not helping me to fight with this feeling, I'm not sure if I can ignore you,i can't even avoid you.. This is going to be a long night Donghae.

...........................

so silent readers this is a new update after a looooooooooong time!! hope you like it. please leave your comments, i want to know what you think about my fic, good? bad? i will really appreciate your comments, positive and negitive ones!

also happy sj comeback(although i really miss heechullie)!!!