Chapter 20 As soon as they got home, Kyuhyun helped Jongwoon get upstairs and into his bed. He sat next to Jongwoon until the latter was fast asleep, and went downstairs again to help Donghae with dinner preparations.   Donghae had picked out this really difficult dish, and it would probably take about 2 hours to prepare. Which was actually a good thing, because Jongwoon needed to sleep for a while, and if the preparation took 2 hours he could actually join dinner.   When Hyukjae got home, 1 hour after Donghae and Kyuhyun started the dinner preparations, he kissed Donghae on the cheek and left for the living room to watch some TV. Kyuhyun thought it was adorable, but Donghae instantly looked 10 times as sad.   “What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun asked as soon as Hyukjae had left the kitchen.   “Nothing,” the answer came, and Donghae was obviously faking a smile. Not that that could fool Kyuhyun though, they had been friends since forever, Kyuhyun knew Donghae from inside out. He knew when Donghae was faking a smile, or when he was sincerely smiling.   “Spill it.”   “I just can’t imagine how he would be like after Jongwoon... You know.”   It was a painful remark for Kyuhyun. But Donghae was obviously stressed out over this, so it was no time for Kyuhyun to explain to Donghae that he was talking about his interlocutor's boyfriend. And that Kyuhyun was also having a hard time imagining how it would be like when Jongwoon was gone. Well he didn’t had a hard time imagining it, he just had a hard time while doing so.   “I want Hyukjae to be happy all the time, but he keeps getting sadder and sadder,” Donghae continued, averting his gaze from the pan he was stirring in to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, who instantly looked at least 10 times as old because of Donghae talking about Jongwoon dying. And it wasn’t until then that Donghae remembered who he was actually talking to. “Oh... God... I’m... I’m so sorry... Ehm... Miracles still happen, he’ll be fine! You know that right?”   Kyuhyun just smiled weakly at Donghae’s stuttering before continuing making the salad. Kyuhyun knew he had to believe in miracles. He knew that a miracle was actually the only chance Jongwoon had left. But believing in it... That was something Kyuhyun had stopped doing a few weeks ago.     ✭✭✭✭✭     A few days later Jongwoon had to go to the hospital for a check-up. The hospital still wanted him to come in regularly, so they could keep a close eye on him. They gave him medicine for the pain, which was getting worse every day, and a tube in his nose. It went from his nose, to behind his ear, and disappeared into his clothes. What it was for, Kyuhyun never asked. Maybe he should have, but he just felt that he could no longer talk about this kind of stuff anymore.   That evening they decided to watch a movie together. They unanimously decided on a comedy, because, well, let’s face it. They could all use something to laugh at. It was comedy which was promised to be tremendously funny  by thousands of reviews.   Jongwoon, who was more tired than usual, maybe because of the new meds he had gotten, was lying against Kyuhyun’s shoulder, on the couch, sleeping, while the movie was playing on the TV screen. Every once in a while you could hear the other 3 boys laugh at the movie, and like that it was a peaceful, quiet and happy time together. Well.. Until Jongwoon suddenly blurted out something he had wanted to say for the past few days.   “I’m not going to make it.”   Hyukjae, who was just taking a sip of his drink, choked on his drink. They hadn’t expected him to talk in the first place, because they thought he was sleeping, which he apparently wasn’t, and saying a sentence like that wasn’t really improving the atmosphere either.   “What...?” Donghae asked, talking for everyone in the room, as Hyukjae and Kyuhyun were too overwhelmed to open their mouths, “Don’t say that.”   “Just stating the obvious,” Jongwoon mumbled in return. No one replied to that.   Suddenly the movie seemed a lot less funny. It was not funny anymore at all actually. After 5 more minutes of trying to watch the now humorless movie, Hyukjae stood up, turned off the TV and walked out of the room. Donghae followed him, leaving Kyuhyun and Jongwoon behind.   “Can you take me to bed?” Jongwoon asked weakly. He sounded so sad, that it broke Kyuhyun’s heart. Sure, it was hard for them, and sure, saying ‘I’m not going to make it’ to them had been the last thing they had wanted to hear. But how would things be for him? It was something Kyuhyun actually hadn’t really thought about before. He always thought about how he was going to lose Jongwoon, how they were going to lose him. But Jongwoon was dying.. he knew he was dying. He knew he was going to hurt people around him. He knew his time was coming. How would that feel?   Kyuhyun carried Jongwoon to his bed, helped him undress, and watched him fall asleep. Kyuhyun decided to check on Hyukjae before going to bed himself, even though it was just 9 o’clock in the evening.   Silently, Kyuhyun opened the door to Hyukjae’s room. Donghae was sitting on the bed next to a sleep