Chapter 15 “Jongwoon-ah.. I.. I’m so sorry.”    Those were not the words Kyuhyun had expected to hear. His mind didn’t expect it either, because it took a couple of minutes for his brain to finally understand what the doctor was trying to say. He was sorry, and usually when a doctor says that, it predicts nothing good.   Kyuhyun tried to put aside his own shocked feelings, and searched blindly for Jongwoon’s hand. He didn’t know how the other was reacting and he did not dare to look his way. The only thing his mind told him to do was to hold the other’s hand, to let him know he was not on his own.   After what felt like many hours, the doctor started explaining. He showed some x-ray pictures and test results and explained as much as he could. It were a lot of difficult hospital-like words, but the whole story just came down to one simple thing. Chemo- and radiation therapy weren’t doing what they were supposed to do. They might slow down the process a little, but it was minimum. There was not much more left that the hospital could do for Jongwoon, and the doctor even advised him to stop all treatment. It wasn’t doing much for him, other than making 2 weeks a month horrible.   After doctor Han Geng finished his explanation, he stared sadly at the 2 men sitting across from him. He, too, was shocked by this news. He only found out the results this morning and there was nothing he could say or do right now to make it less painful or less shocking for Jongwoon and Kyuhyun.   Suddenly Jongwoon stood up, an act which surprised both the doctor and Kyuhyun.   “Thanks for everything,” he said, as he stuck out his hand to the doctor to shake with the other. The doctor was slightly startled but shook hands with Jongwoon nevertheless. “Please continue treatment.”   “Are you sure?” The doctor asked hesitatingly, and Jongwoon nodded firmly at the question. “Alright... Then I will see you next week for chemo.”   With that, Jongwoon left the room and Kyuhyun followed as soon as he noticed that Jongwoon had already left.     ✭✭✭✭✭     The ride home had been silent. Jongwoon didn’t make the impression that he wanted to talk and therefore, Kyuhyun didn’t talk either. It’s not that Kyuhyun didn’t want to talk, it was quite the opposite, but he just didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything he could say or do to cheer the other up now, was there?   Before Kyuhyun even stopped the car, Jongwoon already stepped out and left to his room. Kyuhyun knew Jongwoon needed some time for himself, so instead of following, Kyuhyun sat down on the couch in the living room. He hadn’t really processed all the information himself yet, so now was a good time to do so. Well... Or so he thought; he sat down for just one minute when his cell phone went off. Kyuhyun tried to ignore the annoying ringtone, making a mental note to himself to change it, but eventually decided to pick it up after all.   “And?” Was the first thing Kyuhyun heard when he answered his phone.   “Ah, Hyukjae..,” Kyuhyun took a deep breath. How was he going to inform Hyukjae about the whole situation?   “I know I have to be patient, but I really can’t stand it anymore. Did you speak with the doctor yet? Are you home already? Was it good news? Tell me it was good news!” …….… “Kyuhyun-ah? Are you still there?”   “Yeah... I... It’s better if you come home...”   “Home? What for?”   Kyuhyun wanted to explain, he really did. He wanted to repeat every single word that the doctor had told not too long ago. But he couldn’t. His voice just didn’t want to cooperate with his mind.   “Just come home,” he said instead. Kyuhyun didn’t need to explain anything more than that, Hyukjae probably already understood that it was bad news. He answered that he would be home in 45 minutes and hung up the phone shortly after.     ✭✭✭✭✭     “Where is he?” Hyukjae came storming into the house exactly 45 minutes after he had ended the phone call.   “His room,” Kyuhyun answered, and Hyukjae ran upstairs before Kyuhyun could even finish his sentence. Kyuhyun felt slightly jealous. He wished he was as brave as Hyukjae was, daring to go upstairs to the other’s room to say the right words or to do the right things to cheer Jongwoon up. But Kyuhyun wasn’t as strong as Hyukjae was. Kyuhyun couldn’t face Jongwoon now, he was feeling too horrible himself.   Hyukjae had been with Jongwoon the day the latter heard he had cancer, Hyukjae was there when he received his very first chemo treatment, Hyukjae had been there when he received his very first radiation treatment. The first treatments were probably the scariest, because you don't know what to expect or how your body is going to react on it. Long story short, Hyukjae had always been there when Jongwoon was having the hardest time. And even though Kyuhyun was there when Jongwoon received today’s bad news, it was again Hyukjae who was with Jongwoon when he needed it. Kyuhyun really felt like killing himself right now, he was such a failing boyfriend.   Jongwoon stayed upstairs in his room the entire day. Hyukjae was upstairs most of the times too, he only came downstairs to greet Donghae when the latter came home, and to eat dinner.   Hyukjae didn’t say or explain much, not to Kyuhyun but not to Donghae either. It was Kyuhyun who had to explain what had happened at the hospital to Donghae, and when Donghae asked how Jongwoon was holding up, Kyuhyun couldn’t answer. He didn’