Sometimes, I wonder.. What if he notices me? What if he stumbles into my blog or Facebook or Me2day and he'll see how much I've fallen for him? What if he sends me a message and asks me where I live? What if he asks for my contact info? What if he comes to me? What if, for the first time, he notices a mere fangirl, which is, luckily, me?

I always imagine myself with him. I always daydream about us being together, cuddling me, or holding my hand.. And just hugging me for hours.. days.. weeks.. years.. forever.

I wonder how it feels like to be picked up from my home, brought inside a familiar looking black van, and see an angel looking at me.. and only me.

I wonder how it feels like to be able to introduce him to my family and my friends, and just spend the time with him as we walk around the park, the mall, or even the streets.

I wonder how it feels like to be able to cheer on him on his concerts and performances, with me sitting in the front row, and just staring at him, with tears in my eyes. Then, he'll take me backstage, and I'll be able to meet his hyungs, his noonas, his dongsaengs, then I'll be able to wipe his sweat off, and he'll just take my hand and kiss it.

I wonder how it feels like to be able to see him closely, stare at his oh-so-precious and melting eyes, and just tell him how much I love him.

I wonder how it feels like to be wrapped around his arms, making me feel all weak and breathless, and just whispering in my ear that he's happy.. and that I'm the reason for it.

I wonder how it feels like to be able to hear his heart beating against his chest, as he sings me to sleep.

I wonder how it feels like to be able to talk to him freely, to be able to hug him, to be able to kiss him, to be able to make him happy, to be able to stare at him, to be able to cherish him..

Because at the end of the day, I wonder how it feels like to be loved back by Kim Kibum.