20120519

Khun Appa

After i told Vic about my new make up CF that involved Dara nuna, she’s been upset about it. She even avoiding to talk to me. Only saying something that’s really important, than she went silent again. I start to feel uncomfortable and khunfuse. Do i have to cancel the CF and waste taking a chance of getting extra cash for our deposit ? It’s a tough condition.

Then things went more than i imagine. Vic is getting easily provoked even by small things. She got mad at me this morning after i forgot to water the plants. She rambled about me being too much focused on preparing the CF and forgotting home duties. I didnt want to counter her at all. She’s pregnant and tend to easily emotionally unstable. I let it cool off, but then the worst thing is, she rambled like that in front of Nicky. The last thing that i want to see is that my son watched our arguments.

I took Nicky and calming him down in his room. I could see his tearing.

“Kwaenchana, adeul,,,kwaenchana...”, i calmed him down. Brushing his back slowly and hugging him.

He bursted into tears and said, “Waeyo, Appa ? Why did Omma mad at you ? I dont want to see it! Shiro !!!”.

“Anieyo, Omma is only in bad mood today. It’ll be fine. Come on! I help you get ready for school”, I said to him.

“I dont want anything happen to Omma and Appa. I dont want you both to divorce...”, he said as he sobbed and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

And that’s where i felt like got hit by a lightning strike. Where did my son hear such a word and understand about it ?

“Divorce ? Where did you hear  the word, son ? I never thought teaching you that word”, i got pretty provoked but i try to keep my emotion stable.

“In kinder, there’s a chingu that his parents got divorce... They mad at each other in the kinder and they separated... ”, Nicky explained, “I dont want that happen to me...”.

I curse the couple that showed my son the meaning of divorce. They shouldnt have to show that to kids at this age. It will endanger their emotional development and their psychology on process of growing up.

I already meet the PD and he gave me the script. It will involve hugging and kissing. I was thinking about suggesting to change the scene, but i was to afraid that the PD will scold me of being subordinate. So i dedcided to remain silent.

I never thought of any kind of seperation. I always believe that i can get through this. I’m sure.

Vic Omma

I was uncontrolled and mad at him this morning. My hormone rages and all my emotions are controlled by it. I should have better take control of it. Khun is taking Nicky to kinder and so i’m alone. I take out my cell phone and dial my mum’s number. I think i’ll be better if i hear my mom’s voice.

“Ma, it’s me Qian...”, i say in chinese as i hear my mom answer, “How are you ? How’s Pa ?”

“Oh, Qian. We’re fine. How are you and Khun ? And my grandson Nicky ?”, Ma replies.

“We’re fine. I have an important news to tell you, Ma”, i say, “I’m pregnant again”

I havent told my parents and my parents in law too. What’s wrong with me lately ? I’ve been a bad daughter. This hormonal thing turn me into something i dont know.

I can hear Ma gasp from the other side of the phone.

“Oh Qian... its a good news !”, she says and nearly yelling in happy tune. Big family is one of her dream since young but she only had me so she hoped that i could give her a big family.

I let out a sigh and reply my Ma right away, “yes,Ma.. but there is something...”

“What ?”, she asks back.

“I had a quarrel with Khun...”, i say in a small voice.

“You had a quarrel with Khun ?”, she asks, “what’s wrong ?”

“Well, Khun got offered for a make up CF. But he has to do a romantic scene with his partner. And i dont approve that”, i explain to Ma.

“Romantic scene ? like before ?”, Ma asks. She remembered when we’re in We Got Married, i told her that Khun had a romantic scene and i met his partner.

“I dont know, Ma. I dont want him to....”, i answer. I try so hard to hold my tears that forming in my eyes. The scenes of Khun kissing his former partner starts to flash upon my eyes. I dont want that to happen.

I dont want anyone to have a romantic scene with him. And definitely not Dara Park eonni.

“And his partner this time is a man killer. Many guys fall for her, and i dont want my husband to fall for her...”, i add.

“Oh, Qian... you have to believe him. There must be an explaination why he took that decision. Dont get too carried away with your hormonal. Ma knows that it got to do with your pregnancy”, she says.

“But i dont want him to do it, Ma. Just dont !”, i press on some words and give impression to Ma that i really dont want Appa to accept the offer.

“Calm yourself, Qian... think again. I’m sure he didnt mean to cheat on you...He’s a very perfect man for you, and i approved it since i met him for the first time”, she says.

Then i end our conversation. I still dont feel better. Ma is on Khun’s side. I scroll down the phonebook, and press a contact number.

Maybe Omma will be on my side.

Khun Appa

I drive my car to the company after i dropped Nicky at the Kinder. The PD already give the script but i still want to discuss more with him, and bargain if i could. I know, its like being subordinate to him but at least i have to try. Today i feel more confuse with the situation. Should i back out or take it no matter what ?. If i back out now, will there be another chance for me to earn more money ? What if the PD gives a bad mouth about me to other PDs and they wont give me a chance ?. What will my little family be if i cant earn more again ? But if i take it, will Vic approve ?.

Just when i turn my wheel to enter the company building, a phone call enter my blackberry. I wear my headset and press the green button to accept the call.

“Hello ?”, i answer right away.

“You reckless son ! What did you do to your wife ?!”

My face turn to pale as i hear my Mom yell at me on the phone.

“Me (Mom), i’m sorry... I just been in a difficult position right now”, i answer her right away. She might explode again if i keep myself silent.

“I heard from her. You’ve been offered a make up CF and there’s a romantic scene in it. And you accepted it ! What were you thinking, son ?!?!”, she letting out her anger.

“Me, let me explain to you the situation...”, i slowly calming myself, so it won’t spark.

 “There’s no need ! I heard from Vic and it’s enough for me ! You cancel that CF or else !”, she cuts me right away without listening to what i’m going to say.

I cant hold it anymore. I let out a sigh and explain to my mom the reason why i had to accept it.

“Me ! Vic is pregnant. That’s the reason why i take this opportunity. I have to earn more for my family no matter what. I hope she will understand why i accepted it. But seems like her hormonal got the best of her. I just want to be a responsible father, that’s all, Me...”, i explain to her with emotion. I knew i shouldnt be doing that. But i hope that my mom will be on my side on this one. I need a strenght.  

There’s no answer from the opposite side.

“Me ? Are you still there ?”, i ask her slowly. I’m ready if my mom still wants to scold me.

“Ye..yes.., son. I’m listening. I’m so sorry to jump into conclusion like that. I should have listen to you and your reason. If its the reason then, i can understand you, son. I know its pretty hard for you and i’ll try to comfort Vic about this. She’s really worried if you take this CF. I just hope nothing happen with you two”, she says.

“I know, Me. I’m just trying to do my best. And this morning Nicky saw us arguing and he cried after it. He’s afraid that we’ll divorce...”, i say to my Mom. The scene when Nicky said that he doesnt want us to divorce replay upon me. It’s just giving me more pain my heart. Even i still wish for a “happily ever after”.

“Well, this is the spice of a marriage, son. No one have a smooth sailing marriage”, Mom says.

Yeah, this is the spice, no one is ever smooth sailing.

“Me, thank you so much. For listening. I promise you, we’ll be fine. Take care, Me. Say my hi to Grandma, Dad, P’Chan, Nin, Cherleen. Love you, Bye”, i end the phone call with a swipe and trying to park my car after got paused by the phone call.

Just when i finally finish parking my car in an empty space in JYP basement parking, a message enters my phone. I swipe it and my eyes grow wide in surprise and shock. No ! Maldo Andwae !

Its a message from Vic, it says :

I’m heading home to Qingdao with Nicky tomorrow. I need some time alone.

I hold my phone tight with anger and dissapointment, the other is still holding the steer wheel. All that happened lately flashed back in front of me. Is this our end ?.

* Yeorobun, i'm really sorry if this chap is not very good. i'll do my best to bring up a nice ending and that each and every one of you can reminisce my stories as a memorable one. Neomu kamsahamnida for all your supports and comments and the love for the story. It really means a lot to me. Pls feel free to comment and hope you still enjoy reading my story. Kamsahamnida, yeorobun :))