Chapter 13.
Please Stay With Me.
Please Stay With Me | Chapter 13
What a coincident. Kikwang met one of his friends at Jaejoong's party, so that guy ditched me and went to hang out with them. I'm left all alone, sitting by myself in the kitchen, at the bench. I looked out to the living room, everyone was happy and everything, except me. I sighed and took a sip of my cocktail.
"You look wonderful today," someone said from behind.
I knew for sure that that voice belongs to him, but for some reason, I didn't feel excited or anything when he complimented me. I slowly turned around and just looked up into his eyes. He smiled and took a seat beside me, I frowned.
"Um, thanks?"
"Is my party boring? I'm sorry," he apologised.
I raised an eyebrow, he didn't have to apologise. Actually, I much rather come to his party than to stay at home doing nothing. When I think about it, there's more disadvantages than advantages if I go to his party. But who cares, I'm already here.
"No, it's not bor—" he cut me off.
"You know..." he said softly.
I stared clueless at him and kept quiet, waiting for him to continue. Jaejoong hesitated for a while. He took a sip of his drink before he continued.
"I think I've seen someone in that dress before," he said.
He looked at me up and down, and I felt really nervous. I was too busy feeling embarrassed from his stares that, the words he said didn't go through my mind. I took another sip of my cocktail, and that's when his words came into me. My eyes widened, what happened to this kid?
"I lost my memory and I can't remember anything after my accident two years ago," he said sadly.
Jaejoong... was in an accident?! No one told me anything. Is that why he couldn't remember me? Is that why he wasn't excited when I appeared in front of him? Is that why he's so different now? He wasn't playing any games with me from the start, I was playing by myself.
Two years ago, it must've been after I left for San Francisco. I suddenly wanted to cry and hold him in my arms, I wasn't there by his side when he was going through a lot, much more than me. I want to tell him about what happened, about us, but his words held mine back.
"I keep having flashbacks of this girl in your dress," he smiled. "We were outside late at night, in a front yard. I think we were arguing, I'm not sure, the pictures are a blur," he added.
It's me. Jaejoong still remembers our last night together. That memory must mean a lot to him, for him to have flashbacks even after he's been in an accident. I don't know if he's lying to me, maybe he's just trying to remind me of how bad I hurted him that night. A tear slid down from the corner of my left eye, but he didn't see it.
"I stopped having these flashbacks a year ago, but after I've met you at the supermarket, they came haunting me everyday, every night."
Haunting. Is it really that scary? I think it's probably better if I don't tell him anything. I'm hurt, I couldn't believe the fact that he lost all his memory with me in it. The worst feeling isn't being replaced, it's being forgotten.
"I guess I somehow remind you of her," I said. "Do you remember who she is?" I nervously asked.
He turned towards me and looked me in the eye. He looked sad, he looked hurt. He sighed and took a deep breath, looking down to his glass of alcohol.
"I would like to know. I want to meet her again," his voice cracked.
I had a feeling that Jaejoong wanted to cry, which made me want to cry too. I guess I still meant something to him, even after he lost all his memories. I wiped my tear away with the back of my hand, I took deep breaths to calm myself down.
"Donghae keep telling me it's Taeyeon. Everyone is saying she's the only girlfriend I've had, the only person I've loved."
Thanks Donghae, you really did help. I can't believe everyone is trying to hide me from him. No wonder why they never contacted me while I was away, they didn't want us to meet. I didn't believe Jessica would do such things too. I love my friends, a lot.
Fattest joke.
"But..." he said softly. "It doesn't feel right," he added.
"JAEJOONG!" someone shouted.
We both turned around at the same time and saw her, the girl that took my happiness away. They started whispering about something to each other, then Jaejoong stood up.
"Sorry, I need to go."
Taeyeon linked arms with him, and they started walking away. I watched as their back going further and further away from me. Before they left the kitchen, Taeyeon turned around and looked at me in a rather strange way. My eyes widened and raised an eyebrow. She's still not satisfied that she's got Jaejoong, she's so selfish.
I sighed. I finished the remaining liquid in my glass and decided to browse around Jaejoong's house by myself. From the front it looked really small but the fact is, the inside is almost as large as my house. The moment I walked into his house, I had a warm feeling, I felt a little giddy inside.
I came across a bathroom and decided to go inside and wash my face. After I dried my face, I applied a little bit of make up since it was washed away. After I was done, I unlocked the bathroom door and opened it. I kept my eyes down to fix my dress, and accidentally bumped into someone.
Without looking up, I bowed down a few times while apologising. I looked up to see him standing there, laughing. Immediately after I recognised who it was, I wanted to slap him across the face. I wanted to shout at him for lying to me, I wanted to cry in his arms.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" I shouted.
His laughs stopped and he looked down into my eyes, looking serious. I'm not scared, I won't be scared. He took a step forward to me and came closer, which means I have to look up higher just to see his eyes. We kept quiet and my neck started hurting, but I stayed still in my position. He cracked and started laughing, again.
"Tell you what?" he asked in between his laugh.
I sighed and kept my serious expression. I furrowed my eyebrows and immediately, he stopped laughing and behaved seriously like I was. I thought he would be nervous to be in this situation, but he looked so calm. He looked so scary, he changed.
Donghae changed. He's not the same anymore. At least, he's not the Donghae I knew two years ago.
"Do you think you'll be able to face reality?" he asked.
One word from his sentence caught my attention. Reality, something I really hated. There was one thing about him that still didn't change, and that was his knowledge about me. He still knew me very well, or maybe it's because I haven't changed.
"Do you think you'll be able to handle the truth that Jaejoong completely forgotten about you? That he doesn't love you anymore?" he added.
He was right. I can't deny the fact that Jaejoong not remembering me, not loving me, hurt me so much. For once, I don't want to face reality. I don't want to believe that Jaejoong was in an accident and lost all his memories. I don't want to know that Jaejoong's feelings was lost along with it. Everything is killing me.
Tears started to well up in my eyes, and they were threatening to fall. I continued looking into Donghae's pair of eyes, they softened once he noticed that I was in the urge of crying. His shoulders loosened and he seemed more calm than he was before. Nothing came out of my mouth, but his name.
"D—Donghae..." I softly whispered.
He sighed and raised his arms up high. In less than a second, I felt a pair of familiar arms wrapped tightly against my shoulders, it was warm. My arms slowly raised by itself and wrapped Donghae around his waist, tightly. I buried my face in his shoulders and cried, I felt his jacket getting wet.
"He's right, it's really hard," he whispered.
I raised an eyebrow and slowly looked up to Donghae, my arms still wrapped around him. He looked down at me with the most fragile expression, he seem frustrated. I quickly turned away, and before I was about to break away from the hug, a soft voice came from the end of the corridor.
"What are you guys doing?"
Donghae and I both turned to the direction where we heard the voice. As soon as I met eyes with him, I quickly distant myself from Donghae. Donghae looked at me in shock, he looked quite disappointed with me from my sudden action, but I tried to avoid meeting his eyes. I turned back to the person standing five metres away from us.
It was awkward all of a sudden, neither one of us spoke. Suddenly, you hear giggles coming closer. Before I know it, I see Jessica and Taeyeon standing right behind Jaejoong. The two of them looked at us cluelessly. I sighed.
Taeyeon noticed the situation so she quickly linked arms with Jaejoong, in front of my eyes. Jessica ran up to Donghae and stood by his side, softly asking what had just happened. Donghae didn't reply and kept quiet.
At this time in my life, I felt really lonely and excluded. I was the odd one out of the five of us, I don't know why I continued standing there. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I started walking towards the end of the corridor, I was ready to go downstairs and look for Kikwang, so we can go home.
I continued walking towards Jaejoong's direction. I felt really nervous, four pair of eyes were on me. I didn't know how to react, I didn't want to meet eyes with any pair of them. I was close to the staircase, though closer to Jaejoong and Taeyeon. I couldn't help it, my head rose and I met eyes with him.
It was then, I noticed his eyes drifted to Taeyeon. She was looking right up at him, so he quickly turned away from me. I felt a sudden stab against my heart, it was aching, it was bleeding mentally. I held my fist against my heart, I was afraid I'll get an asthma attack. I took deep breaths.
Before I could take a step down the staircase, I heard my name being called.
"JENNIFER!"
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