grieving
This Happened BeforeFt Island - Severely http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3NQVOoKNE8&feature=related
Myungsoo stared blankly at your smiling photograph positioned beside your coffin. Today was the day of your wake. Friends, relatives, and schoolmates paid respect to you. Everyone was grieving and the aura was heavy in the funeral home. L sat in the front row right beside your parents. He tried not to kill himself everytime he heard your mother cry and everytime your father threw death glares at him.
"My daughter... oh _____, why did you leave me?!" your mother sobbed by your coffin. What made L more depressed was your mother's crying. Your mother didn't eat, sleep, or even rest ever since your body was placed in the white coffin.
"Yah"
L looked up to see Sungjong holding two cups of coffee. he handed L a cup "you haven't been eating." L just shrugged and continued staring at you photograph.
Sungjong took a seat beside him and sighed "I'll miss her."
*me too* L took a sip of the warm black coffee, he hated black coffee, but he couldn't careless now. His world was as black as his coffee, as bitter as his feelings were right now.
"You know I hate you, right?" Sungjong asked quietly.
*I don't blame you* L didn't answer and just quietly drank his coffee. He glanced around and saw your classmates paying respects to you.
"I heard he was there when it happened" a girl whispered.
"ne, i bet he just let her die like that." another one added.
L's fingers tightened around the paper cup, he wanted to stand up and tell them how he felt at that time. How his world crashed along with the accident. How he grieved as the doctors wheeled your body out of the operating room towards the morgue. Everytime he closed his eyes, the deadly scene would replay again and again. The truck hitting your body, your warm blood spreading on the pavement, your blank stare towards the sky as he clutched you tight onto his chest.
"_______!"
the funeral home doors bursted open, revealing your older brother Hoya with a dark expression in his face. Hoya walked towards L and smacked him right on the face, sending L off of his seat.
"Howon!" your mother shouted.
Hoya gripped L's collar and made him stand up "you ...why did you do this to my sister? Huh?! Why did you let her die that young?! Ya!" he shook L hard "she was my only sister, and you let her die! She had so many dreams and you ruined it!"
"hyung.." L never called Hoya 'hyung', he actually stopped talking to him eversince he grew tired of interacting with your family.
"Don't call me hyung, you disgust me" Hoya hissed and pushed L down to the floor "I always told her to stay away from you. I told her to stop being with you...and she didn't listen. Now look what happened."
Sungjong helped L up to his feet "you okay?" he asked and watched Hoya slump down by your coffin and cry.
"yeah.." *but Hyung isn't...so are ____'s parents*
-
A few days passed after your burial. L walked lifelessly away from the cemetery and towards the bus stop. He tried not to close his eyes or even try to think calm, because everytime the noise in his head stops, your sweet voice fills his ears. Your smiling face would enter his mind. L got in the first bus that stopped infront of him and sat at the back as usual.
It was a beautiful Sunday, you and L used to go on long walks together every afternoon.
L slowly glanced at his shoulder, he saw you resting your head onto his shoulder, your arms wrapped around his waist "oppa, wake me up when the bus stops, right?"
He shook his head and looked out of the window, he saw you walking down the sidewalk holding an icecream cone and listening to your Ipod. By the other side of the sidewalk, he saw you sitting on a bench reading a book.
*Now her ghost is haunting me...* he inwardly groaned and got out of the bus. The sight of the shabby neighborhood greeted him. The smell of the garbage wafted around the air. He sighed as he walked towards the apartment he shared with his older brother. Unlocking the door, he walked in and slumped down the patched up sofa.
"oppa, i never have been to your house... when will you take me there?" you asked as you snuggled beside him on your sofa.
"when i clean it up." he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and his fingers traced the bare skin of your shoulders.
"oh come on!" you pouted "it couldn't be that bad! What? Cockroaches running around the floor? Dirty dishes in the sink?"
"no, just condoms laying around here and there"
"Oppa!" You playfully punched his arm and he let out a chuckle "i was being serious!"
"and i was being serious as well" L grinned.
"when are you going to take me there?"
"someday." L smiled down at you and you smiled back "can't wait."
L groaned and placed his hands onto his face *____-ah, mianhe...I ed up, come back my angel...*
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