I got ready early today so I’m currently waiting outside Ren’s apartment. I look at the sky. It’s dark. I hope it doesn’t rain today….

 I hear a click and my head turns with excitement. It’s Ren. He doesn’t see me. He gazes at the ground with distant eyes.

“Morning Ren.” He blinks startled in response, then smiles. His eyes don’t carry the soft cheerfulness it usually does. Maybe I’m just seeing wrong…

“Morning Su Min.” He kisses my forehead. His touch always makes me feel happy and light but today…it feels…how do I explain it…just different….

“Ren, are you okay? ” I ask

“Huh? Uh….yeah… I’m fine…” He doesn’t look me in the eye. He doesn’t say anything more. We start walking. He’s so out of it…he almost tripped down the stairs twice. We walk slowly. I watch him uneasily, scared that he’d fall again. He’s so quiet, it scares me.  

“Ren….what’s wrong? You seem….strange today.”

He sighs and scratches the back of his head as if lost in his thoughts. I notice his hand is all bandaged up. I reach out and gently take hold of it to get a better look. He looks down and quickly pulls out of my grip. He tries to hide his hand in his pocket.

“Ren. What happened? Why won’t you let me see it?” I furrow my eyes in worry. He’s acting so weird today. Did something happen?

“Oh….it’s nothing. Come, let’s go. It looks like it’s about to rain.”

We walk in silence. Halfway there the rain starts coming down, hard. We run the rest of the way to the school. By the time we get there we’re drenched. My body shivers as cold drops roll down my body. We stay at the doors for a while, panting and wiping our faces.

I glance over at his hand. The bandage is soaked. I grab his other hand and lead him to the nurse’s office. It’s empty, the nurse isn’t here. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be able to find everything I need. I sit him down and start looking though the cabinets.

“What are we doing here?” he asks.

“We need to switch the wrapping for your hand.”

I see his eyes widen from the corner of my eyes.

“N-no….no, it’s fine. You go back to class, I can do it myself.”

I ignore him and exclaim happily when I finally find the roll of dressing. I turn around, he’s walking to the door.

“Ren, where are you going?”

“Um…we should probably go to class and do this later. The teacher will get mad…” He says.

“No, she’d understand.” I bring him back to the chair. I’m about to take off his soaked bandage when he stops me.

“Su Min….don’t, please.” He looks at me pleadingly. “Please…”

My hand stops. I stare into his eyes questioningly. I take a deep breath and reluctantly put down the dressing.

“Ren tell me what’s going on.” I demand. His behavior was frightening me.

He looks down and ignores my question. I cup his face with my palms, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

“Ren, you can tell me anything.” I say softly. “I know something’s up. I want to help you….”

He doesn’t say anything. We sit there, eyes connected, listening to the patter of rain outside the window. Finally, he sighs. His shoulder’s slump in defeat and his eyes turn to the window. His head lowers in a small nod. I take it as permission to change his bandages.

I take his injured hand in mine and gently cut off the wrapping from the back of his hand. When I turn to see his palm I gasp. The scissors drop from my hand and falls onto the floor.  Ren grimaces but continues looking out the window. The sight is gruesome but I can’t look away.

His palm contained two cuts. Each one was about one and a half inches long. They looked deep.

“What happened to you?” I choke. My trembling hands struggle to support his wound. I momentarily forget how to breathe. He doesn’t say anything.

“Ren. Tell me…”

He bites his lip. I can tell he’s hesitating.

“Did someone do this to you?” I squeak. The first tear slides down my cheek. The thought of someone hurting him feels like a dagger to my heart.  What is Ren going through? Is there something he’s not telling me? He still doesn’t answer.

“Don’t you trust me?” He finally looks up at me. He sighs and reaches out to wipe my tears. The corners of his mouth lift into in a strained smile.

“Nothing…just an accident.” I don’t know what to say. The lie is so obvious. I feel angry, sad, and worry all at the same time.

“Ren, Just tell me, I know something is wrong!” I stand up, too fast. My head feels dizzy but I ignore it.

“Don’t try to face it alone! I’m here for you!”

He sighs again and reaches for the dressing. I watch in shock as he bandages the gashes up. His jaw tenses and his body flinches at the pain. I try to help him but he pulls away without a word. He stands up and turns to the door.

“We should get to class.” He says nonchalantly. He doesn’t bother waiting for me and leaves.

I stay where I am. I try to fight back tears. What happened? Why’s Ren so cold today? Why won’t he just let me help him? Did I go too far? I wipe the moisture from my eyes but I can’t wipe the image of his hand from my mind. Who in the world did that to him?

I force myself to get up. I walk slowly down the hall towards our class. I open the door. The teacher looks at me surprised. She says something, I don’t know what. I don’t even care. I see Ren. He’s with Mun Hee. He doesn’t look at me. I feel a jab in my chest. Tears threaten to fall. I make my way slowly to Su Min.

The class ends. I’ve been thinking about Ren the entire time, racking my brain for possible answers.

“Su Min, time for lunch.” Eun Ji says. I nod and stand up.

I look at the door. Chin Ho stands there, talking to his student council friends. My eyes widen. What if it was Chin Ho? He hasn’t done anything in a while, maybe this was some way to make up for it!

I rush over and grab Chin Ho.

“W-what? Who..what are you doing?” he cries.

“Sorry, I’m going to have to borrow him.” I tell his friends.

I don’t bother wait for their response and drag Chin Ho to the nearest quiet space. I let go of him and turn around. He’s gasping for breath. He looks up at me with an angry look.

“What do you want?”

I glare at him. “You did it didn’t you.”

He looks confused. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb! You did that to Ren didn’t you?” I shout.

He flinches at the power of my voice. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I grab him by the collar and pull him down. “What did you do?”

His eyes widen and he struggles out of my grip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I haven’t done anything to him after that day!” he insists. I fold my arms in disbelief. He sighs and runs a hand though his hair.

“Look…I’ve decided that maybe I should stop ….toying…with him.” He looks me I the eye and shrugs. “ I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore.” His face turns bright red. Something in my heart tells me that he was telling the truth.

“Now if you’d excuse me….my friends are waiting….” He turns and leaves. I don’t stop him.

So it wasn’t Chin Ho….. But if it wasn’t him, who could it be?

I walk toward the cafeteria. I see Ren and Mun Hee. Ren sees me and hold up a finger, indicating for me to wait. He says something to Mun Hee. Mun Hee nods and walks away. Ren comes closer to me.

“Su Min….” I look down. I realized that I still feel a little bitter about what he had done earlier this morning. The ground before my eyes is suddenly blocked by a pair of shoes. Ren.

“Su Min, I’m sorry.” He starts. “I…I shouldn’t have done that….”

I don’t say anything. He reaches out gingerly and takes me into his arms and rests his chin on my head. It’s warm… I no longer feel so angry towards him. I can’t stay mad at him….

“Look, I don’t want you to worry too much about this, okay? I’m fine…” he whispers. His hand starts the top of my head. I sigh and give in. I wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle into his chest.

“But I’m worried….” I say.

“I know.” He kisses my head.

I look up at him. “Just tell me what happened, okay? I want the truth.”

He looks me in the eye sadly. “I’m sorry….but I’m not ready yet….”

I’m bad at hiding disappointment. He knows it too.

“I trust you, Su Min. I do. It’s just that…I don’t feel comfortable sharing about this yet. I’m sorry.”

He hugs me tighter. I sigh and nod.

“Okay….but you have to tell me sometime. Promise?”

“Promise.”

I smile and lean into his shoulder.

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School ends. I walk home alone. Ren has work. I’ve always wanted to go to work with him….but I keep forgetting to ask him about that. Oh well, I’ll try to remember the next time. I get to my apartment and gasp.

The door to Ren’s apartment was wide open. Sounds were coming from the inside. What? Does Ren have a pet or something? I slowly walk closer to his apartment, careful to keep my footsteps quiet. As I approach the door I hear a groan. A human groan. It sends shivers down my spine. I force myself not to scream. What if it’s a burglar? Should I continue walking? Should I call the police? I don’t know what to do. More noises. I gulp and continue walking.

It’s okay…maybe it is an animal? Maybe Ren forgot to close the door all the way and some squirrel got in?

I peak inside and am startled. A man sits in the middle of the room. His back is to me. Bottles of alcohol surround him.  

“Who are you?” I ask without thinking. My eyes widen and my hand dashes to my mouth.

The man turns around and stares at me. He looks drunk. Fear strangles me and straps me to the ground. I can’t move or talk. The man tilts his head and walks towards me. I look at him in wonder and fear, cursing my stupid mouth the entire time.

He is now inches away from me. Who is he?

Help me Ren….