The room's lighting was a bit dimmer due to the time of day, but Kai didn't mind at all. To be honest, he didn't care about much anymore, as he had just experienced the worst day of his life.

He lay on his bed in a state of complete paralysis. At that moment, he was reflecting on the things he had just heard so casually from his ex-boyfriend at the old café they used to frequent when they were still together – if one could even say they ever had a real relationship.

When Taemin asked to meet and end things between them, Kai was okay with it. He had already turned that page and was confident that nothing Taemin said could affect him negatively anymore. After all, the relationship was over. There was nothing left of it that Kai would want to salvage, not anymore. But after the new perspective Taemin provided during that meeting, Kai's confidence crumbled.

Taemin didn't call him to end their story; he called to absolve himself of the guilt that was eating away at his heart. He called Kai to hurt him even more than he had already been hurt. He scheduled a meeting to break him in exchange for moving on with his life without any baggage to carry.

There were many tears shed when Taemin revealed the infidelity. So many tears that made Kai feel somewhat guilty. He thought it was his fault for not reciprocating enough, and that it was his fault for the love ending the way it did. Disintegrated, perhaps, was the right word.

He never thought this could happen to them. Kai always believed they had an invincible, champion love. One of those that takes your hand and leads you beyond the surface of the Earth, overcoming any metaphysical barrier the Universe could place between them. That's how he always felt when he was with Taemin – like he could gravitate out of orbit. But at that moment, it was he who felt thrown back to Earth like a meteor.

Kai got up from the bed and walked over to the dark wooden dresser. His reflection in the mirror stared back at him full of doubts and memories that haunted him from a not-so-distant past. His mind tried to deceive him, searching and returning to the moments when he had been happiest in his life with Taemin. He tried to remember if it had truly been real or if it had all been pretense too.

How much of himself had been given willingly? How much had Taemin really loved him? Could a love like that die, just like that? Did it even exist for real? So many questions... and no answers. Or at least, none that had the answer he wanted to hear.

In the distance, Kai heard his phone ringing and turned to find it amidst the messy blankets. He picked up the device, lighting up the dimly lit room. The notification was from a client he was supposed to meet later that day, but his mind wasn't in any condition to try to reason at that moment. So when he opened his messaging app, the first person he sent a message to was the only one who could truly understand him at that moment.

Kim Kai: Are you at home?

ChenChen: Kai!! Where are you?

ChenChen: You disappeared! I was worried.

Kim Kai: I talked to Taemin yesterday...

Kim Kai: Did you already know?

He paused before sending the message. Did he really want to know that? Did it even matter? Or was he just seeking confirmation that all of this was real, and if he would have to deal with the consequences of a broken heart long after the breakup?

Kai took a deep breath and did what his heart told him. After all, he was after the truth, not seeking comfort from others.

Kim Kai: Did you already know?

ChenChen: Kai... I'm so sorry.

Kim Kai: Did you already know?

ChenChen: No, of course not.

ChenChen: He told me just a few days ago.

ChenChen: I'm so sorry. I hate him!!!!

ChenChen: Do you want to talk? We can meet up.

Kim Kai: I don't want to go out tonight. How about tomorrow?

ChenChen: Sure!! Whatever you need.

ChenChen: I'm really sorry.

Kim Kai: Me too.

He locked his phone, throwing it over the bed. He ran his hands over his face, feeling mentally exhausted. What a great confusion was that in his chest? Why had he been so affected by something that had happened so long ago? He didn't love him anymore; that had already ended. So why did it matter so much? Why couldn't he just move on without making a big deal out of it?

Perhaps because he knew, deep down, that Taemin still affected him completely.

Taemin hadn't just been someone he fell unconditionally in love with; he had been his first in many things and had been by his side in almost every moment of his life, from school to when Kai finally managed to open a bar in Seoul's nightlife. Kim knew that if it weren't for Taemin, he would probably still be at home, daydreaming about being a party host because his greatest passion was being among people. But now... his mind felt clouded when he thought about it all.

Kai walked up to the mirror in front of his bed, gazing at his own reflection. Dark bags under his eyes revealed that exhaustion had taken hold of him. He needed to get out, urgently needed to find a way to clear his mind from the intrusive thoughts that were corroding all his memories. But he couldn't help but be reminded of one specific memory:

When he was 15, Kai insisted that he wanted to go to the amusement park to ride the Ferris wheel. At that time, his sister was still a child, so unlike every other time they went out together, Chen ended up staying at home with the family while Kai and Taemin had the freedom they were seeking for the first time.

They took the bus, passing by almost all the city's tourist spots. Both laughed every time Jongin turned redder and redder in the sunlight since he hadn't applied sunscreen. They didn't want anything to spoil that amazing day they were having, so Taemin made sure to buy a duck-shaped cap for Kai to better protect himself from the sun rays.

Kai remembers keeping that cap at the back of his wardrobe until he was 20, and he only threw it away because it had gotten moldy from being stored for so long. It was one of the saddest days of his life, even though Taemin promised to buy him a new one (but he never did).

On the day of the Ferris wheel ride, Kai had never felt so loved. They were inside the cabin, looking at all the city lights falling on the horizon, contemplating that moment. It was as if the outside world was untouchable, and there inside, the world belonged only to them. And when their eyes met, he knew he loved Taemin. He let him kiss him right there because he also wanted to kiss him so much. It was the first time his lips touched those of another person, another boy. It was the first time he felt so good.

When the ride ended, and they had to leave the cabin, Taemin held his hand. Kai felt his fingers interlock with his, felt the taste of Taemin's mouth dissipate on his own skin. He felt a pure feeling in his chest, someone who was learning to love and see the world through the eyes of love. He didn't think it would be like that, not by a long shot. They were two people, two individuals made of the same flesh and bones, so why did the feeling seem much bigger than he could understand?

Kai then prayed that it would never die, even though he had no faith. Today, he thought that the lack of faith was the first trigger to kill that relationship.

Staring at his own reflection in the mirror, he began to understand better why he always felt so bitter about that situation. The problem wasn't that deep inside, Taemin still held his heart; the bigger issue was that it was with Taemin that he had learned to love, and the only language he knew was the one Taemin spoke. It sounded foolish to think that it was because of Taemin that Kai had experienced all the depths of what love meant, and he took it as an absolute truth. But today, he had discovered that it was all just a web of illusions.

He didn't regret giving his heart to him; it wasn't about that. But he also couldn't pretend that the love he had known hadn't been the same one that had destroyed him. Everything he had proudly kept to himself, cherishing the happiest moments of his life with Taemin, all the memories and fragments of happiness tattooed in his mind, now seemed to have been rewritten in a language he never knew.

Kai wasn't the kind of person who lived his days in vain. He embraced whatever life put in his path and made the most of it. All the things he fought for and dreamed of, they were all part of who he was. Just as he had moments that belonged only to himself, he also carried moments shared with others. And it was some of those moments that Kai would have to redefine, to make them more than just memories of love but reminders of his own journey. Ones that had already been turned into chapters of the past, without preventing him from moving forward as a lesson. From that moment on, he had decided to embrace his story as a learning experience.

Kai picked up his documents and wallet from the dresser in his room and changed his clothes in his makeshift closet. He went through his morning routine and tried to cover up the sadness with as much makeup as he could put on his face. When he walked out the door, he had only one place in mind where he needed to go.

Junmyeon was waiting for him at the entrance of the Seoul Museum of Contemporary Art. He was a bit nervous because it had been a while since he had been on a romantic date like this. He had an old film camera with him, which he always carried to places he considered special. And that place, in fact, was one of them. And in that moment, more than anything, he hoped that Kai would feel the same way.

The professor greatly admired contemporary modern art. He wasn't a complete expert, but he knew how to appreciate what he found pleasing. For him, nothing was better than having his heart caressed by the art of an artist he admired. Similarly, he wanted to evoke the same effect he felt when inside a gallery to any soul that would marvel at his words. He was a writer, not because he felt obligated to tell his stories, but because he felt compelled to share them and make a difference in someone's life.

That was how he felt every time he stopped to write "Sehnsucht," his first book. It was a special story, but it should be even more special to those who could relate to or had experienced something similar to the couple in the story. For this reason, he had made an effort to make it coherent and detailed, even though he knew that a more specialized editor might think it was a terrible idea. But Junmyeon didn't care about that. What mattered to him was telling the story in the right way. And that, he was close to achieving. Partly thanks to him, of course.

The professor smiled when he felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket, realizing it was the same person he was waiting for on the other end of the line.

"Kai?" He asked, unable to contain his happiness. "Kai, where are you?"

"Junmyeon…" His voice sounded a bit different, and Kim noticed. "I'm almost there, but I think I'll be a few minutes late. Can you forgive me?"

Junmyeon hesitated. Kai's voice was so different from his usual self that the professor started to get worried.

"Is something wrong?"

The line remained silent. Kim began to feel anxious with this game he couldn't understand.

"Can I explain later? I really have to go now, or I'll be even later."

"Ah... okay, then. See you later."

"I'm sorry, Junmyeon."

"No, it's okay. I'll be waiting for you here."

Kai sighed on the other end of the line.

"Okay. Fine, I... I'll call you when I arrive."

"Sure."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Junmyeon hung up, staring at the phone. He had no idea what could have happened to Kai, and it was leaving him quite confused. After spending some time interacting with him, Junmyeon still didn't have a clear picture of what was going on in the brunette's life. It was as if Kai were an enigma, one that he knew the equation to solve. Maybe he just needed a little logical exercise.

He took a deep breath and put the phone back in his pocket. He was outside the museum, so he decided to wait there, near one of the fountains in the square right in front of the place. There were many pigeons around, especially with people feeding them with bits of their street food. Junmyeon smiled when he noticed a little girl jumping among the birds, much to her mother's dismay.

He immediately remembered the days when he was like that, so carefree. When the burdens of his complicated mind hadn't taken away all his enthusiasm and even his faith in other people. He also realized that at the peak of his twenty-three years, Junmyeon felt very lonely. Moving to another city for college and ending up staying because of his job had made him leave everything behind and start a new life. And maybe that's why he was so attached to Minho.

There in the middle of the square, Junmyeon felt the wind on his face. He was a bit afraid of what he might find by following his heart, because trusting others had always given him the worst in return. He was always the one carrying the baggage, bearing the brunt, having to carry the fragments of a heart that had never truly belonged to him. So, it was only natural for him to feel distrustful, inadequate in the face of what others seemed to love.

To love, in fact, maybe that was his problem. He could say he had experienced love in various forms, but perhaps he hadn't had the chance to truly feel it in the way it deserved. Yes, deserved, he acknowledged this, thanks to him. And maybe he was the one to show him what it was like to truly feel that for the first time.

Without thinking, Junmyeon opened the messaging app on his phone and opened the conversation with Kai.

Junmyeon: I don't know what I'm thinking right now, Kai. And I also don't know what you're going through at the moment. But I really wish you could give me the reassurance I need before things get complicated. I need to be sure that you feel the same way I do about what we're doing.

Junmyeon considered, then clicked to send the message. It would be a big step for him to open up like this. But if he were honest with himself, it was exactly what he needed to clear his doubts. He needed reassurance and to know that he wasn't venturing into something with no way back.

With that in mind, Junmyeon pressed send. He waited for about three minutes, and then the "seen" notification appeared. But that was all. There was no response for fifteen whole minutes. Junmyeon swallowed hard, feeling nervous about the situation. Maybe he had acted impulsively, and now the consequences were not what he expected. Surprisingly, however, when the bus stopped right in front of the square and Kai got off the vehicle in his characteristic attire—high-waisted jeans, a white and red Coca-Cola shirt, and a denim jacket, looking like a model straight out of a fashion magazine—Junmyeon's heart finally found some peace. Kai walked over to him with determination.

He stood right in front of him and smiled shyly, gazing at Junmyeon with a hint of sadness in his eyes. The professor became worried, afraid that he had taken a misstep with his impulsive message.

"Junmyeon..." Kai said, looking down, "I found out something today. And... your message made everything a bit confusing."

Junmyeon nodded, understanding how Kai felt. "Kai, I don't know how to answer what you want to hear because right now, my mind is a complete mess."

Kai smiled sadly, and Junmyeon reached out to him, taking his hand in his. Kai's touch surprised him, and he looked at him, noticing the small smile on his lips.

"I like you. I've said that a million times. You know that, right?"

Junmyeon was about to respond, but Kai continued, "I found out today that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me for many years before I found out. I discovered that the reason he refused to marry me was because he was dating another guy for two years while I was planning our wedding."

Junmyeon was left speechless. He knew that nothing he said could provide comfort in such a situation.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," Junmyeon finally managed.

Kai smiled weakly. "To be honest, neither do I. I just... needed to see you, and now I'm here. But I don't think I can talk about us today. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, of course," Junmyeon hesitated, then gently pulled Kai into an embrace.

Kai held him back, and Junmyeon felt a sense of comfort in being there. They had been through some things together, enough to have a sense of familiarity, but not enough to embrace each other without reservations. It was like covering oneself with a new and comfortable blanket but still getting used to the warmth it provided. Junmyeon quite liked that warmth, in particular.

"Love, Junmyeon... I see it as a powerful force. It can lead us to the absurd," Kai spoke softly, as if just for him to hear.

Junmyeon looked at him a bit confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the things we do for love. The challenges, the reinvention, the willingness to step out of our comfort zones... all because we love someone. Have you ever thought about all the crazy things you've done for love?"

"Many of them," Junmyeon replied thoughtfully.

Kai hugged him tighter, seeming to know exactly what he was thinking.

"Exactly," Kai murmured, "I think you and I might have come from the same star—the one that lives and dies for love."

Junmyeon smiled, amused by his poetic heart. He didn't think about things like that. He was realistic enough to know that all his pain was his own fault—being too self-deprecating, too passive, and trusting too much. It was his intensity that had brought him there, and it was his downfall as well.

"Or maybe we're just very unlucky," Junmyeon joked.

Kai chuckled in agreement, and Junmyeon held his hand. "So, shall we go in? I heard the exhibition is amazing."

"You told me that," the professor smiled.

"I didn't say who told me; I just passed on the information," Kai replied playfully.

Kim laughed softly and nodded. He did want to see the exhibition, as it had been a long time since he had been to an art museum.

"Shall we?" Kai asked, looking at him expectantly.

Junmyeon bit his lower lip, then nodded. It was one of the countless times he had held Kai's hand, but it felt different now. Partly because the usual warmth wasn't there, which was unusual for him, but it didn't scare Junmyeon. If Kai held his hand as if he were about to discover the world, then Kim felt like he should hold it tightly. Because he knew it was rare, and he wasn't willing to let it go.

So, they walked together into the museum, hand in hand, and Junmyeon felt a newfound hope in their connection. It was the start of something more, and he was willing to take the risk.