“She's so suffocating! And my dad just does whatever she says with his tail between his legs! I can’t breathe in that household.” Kibum whined.

He and Jonghyun were having one of their nightly talks that took place when they were stressed. It started to happen more frequently as they got older and life got a bit more stressful. Well, as stressful as life could be for a highschooler.

“She wants me to be THIS and THAT but won’t give me the space to achieve it, you know? She berates me if my grade is anything but an A. But if I don’t understand something she doesn’t do anything to help me. She wants me to study all night and I get like two hours of sleep…and then she gets angry if I fall asleep in class. There is no winning with that woman. My dad just stands there like a fish with his mouth agape! I just want to rip my hair out!” Kibum ranted as he walked back and forth, kicking the dirt beneath his feet. 

They were down the street from their neighborhood in a sorry excuse for a park. It really consisted of wilted flowers, a bench with a broken leg, and two rusty swings. 

Jonghyun was sitting on the cheap picnic mat that he had bought some weeks ago after realizing these nightly talks would be quite often. And they were bound to need somewhere to sit. So he was laid out on the mat fiddling with the loose threads that had started to unravel at the ends. He listened to Kibum carefully as he switched his gaze from looking at Kibum, anxiously walking around in circles, and back up at the stars that were shining brighter than usual.

“And you know what she said? She said I should pick up another after school academy! I already go to one after school and one on Saturday mornings! She’s out of her mind!” Kibum hissed.

Jonghyun didn't say much whenever Kibum ranted. He learned that Kibum needed the time to get all his thoughts out all at once without comments interjected in between. That was just how his mind processed things. He didn’t need a lot of advice or encouraging words unless he specifically asked for it. He just needed someone to listen to him. So Jonghyun did.

Once he had heard everything, Jonghyun felt that he could analyze the whole situation and give Kibum at least one good response or his thoughts in the situation to show that he was obviously listening or cared. He took that time to think about what he should say. Something that Kibum would be receptive to. He also tried his hardest not to sound so…emotionless.

“I mean-she’s insane right?! What do you think? ” Kibum said, finally finishing his rant and roughly settling down next to Jonghyun on the mat.

“I think…you have a lot of pressure put on you. I think you should do more things that distress you. You're too focused on wanting to prove your mom wrong or live up to her expectations.” He said, slowly tearing his gaze away from the stars to look at him.

Kibum blinked.

“Do things like what?” He asked.

“I think you need some time to figure that out yourself.” He said honestly.

It went quiet for a bit. Jonghyun knew he was trying to process how he felt about his answer.

“Well, I like hanging out with you.” Kibum said.

Jonghyun smiled.

“Well, that’s one thing.” Jonghyun said, turning his head back to face the stars. 

Kibum decided to lay down next to Jonghyun, slowly invading his personal space. He needed some comfort.

They laid quietly for some time before Kibum decided to speak again.

“What about you? How’s your dad?”

Jonghyun pursed his lips.

“Same old same old. Stricter. He swears I’ll run off one day.”

Jonghyun shrugged.

“We don’t talk much. You know the house is always quiet. I don’t know much about him.” 

Jonghyun spent most of his time in his room. If he wasn’t doing homework he was in his room playing video games. 

When he was homeschooled he was forced to do his work in the living area or the kitchen where his father or either his nanny could see and observe him. He felt like he always had eyes on him. Growing up he never received a lot of affection or interactions with his father. And he knew his father felt bad about it. He gave him the newest and latest video games consoles over the years to preoccupy his time and give him some sort of entertainment. He didn’t complain. It became his hobby. And that’s how he met Jinki too.

But he wished his father didn’t pacify him with games to keep him from yearning for his presence.

He hardly had any memories of his father before his mother left. He seemed to wipe out his memory from that part of his life. 

All he remembers is how his father was after she left. Cold. Distant. And worrisome.

He remembered his mother well enough. It had been about ten years now. He accepted the fact that she left but sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder about her from time to time.

“I miss my mom.” Jonghyun blurted out. His thoughts leading one to another. Even he was a bit surprised he said this.

Kibum looked at him wide eyed for a moment. 

Jonghyun hadn’t spoken or mentioned her in years. Situations like this weren’t normal where they were from, so Jonghyun reframed from speaking about the absence of his mother. And even though he didn’t say much, what he said still held a lot of weight. 

Kibum sat up instinctively, pulling at Jonghyun to follow his action as well.

Jonghyun sat up confused as to why Kibum was forcing him to abandon his comfortable position.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong?” Kibum said, sounding a bit panicked.

Again, it wasn’t normal for Jonghyun to speak so casually of his mother. So, understandably he was worried.

Maybe Jonghyun did have some things to get off his chest.

“Do you think she hates me?” He asked.

“W-what?” Kibum said, utterly shocked.

Kibum had to think seriously about the next words that were going to come out of his mouth before he spoke. 

“How could anyone hate you? You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. People make mistakes, and she made a huge one. But it’s not your burden to carry.” He said firmly.

“It’s her loss. Not yours.” Kibum added.

Jonghyun was staring at him intensely, but he knew he was just lost in thought and needed time to think.

“Yea.” Was all Jonghyun could muster up to say after a few moments.

Kibum scooted closer to his friend and gently laid his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder. He felt him slowly lean into the touch. 

He settled his hand next to Jonghyun’s and linked their pinkies together. They sat wordlessly for a bit. 

He felt like he was going to cry. How could Jonghyun think like that? It was a sensitive subject and Kibum wasn’t too sure how to completely navigate through this kind of situation. The best he could do was not shame him and let him know he was cared for.

They both decided to settle their eyes back on the night sky. 

“Do you want to know a secret?” Jonghyun asked.

“Okay.”

“Before I saw you, I used to sit outside often too. But we never saw each other because, I only came out at night. I was actually waiting for my mom to come back.” He admitted. 

“I was a stupid kid. But I’m glad I kept going because then I saw you.”

                                       ***

To say Kibum was protective over Jonghyun was an understatement. 

He knew Jonghyun was more than capable of taking care of himself but he was…different. He couldn’t deny it. Jonghyun was a bit strange. And everyone thought it. Kibum never liked playing with neighborhood kids because they teased Jonghyun too much. So, of course he was worried about what would happen to him in highschool.

His looks helped keep him afloat, because highschool was a brutal time for some who were less than unfortunate in the ‘looks’ department.

Jonghyun was quite popular amongst the girls (and a few boys who were bold enough to admit it). So of course some people were a bit jealous and used it as an opportunity to pick on him. But Kibum would be having none of that.

Kibum waited next to one of the gates that was an entrance to the school. Kibum decided he wanted to go to the arcade after school instead of going home and wanted to drag Jonghyun along with him. He was feeling a bit impatient as he waited for Jonghyun to show up. He told him to be on time, damnit!

He was texting him furiously. He was going to call him when he paused in his movements when he saw him exiting the school. He was walking towards him.

But he wasn’t pleased at what he saw. 

Jonghyun was walking with a blank expression on his face as two boys were trailing behind him. The other two boys were laughing and talking but Jonghyun wasn’t joining in on the fun. Kibum’s eyebrow rose when he saw one of the boys shove him a bit too hard for it to be playful. Jonghyun only shrugged him off. Then suddenly, the other boy stuck his leg out and tripped Jonghyun as he started to pick up his pace in his walking speed.

“HEY!” Kibum yelled instinctively.

The two boys sighed and threw Kibum an annoyed look. They gave one more shove to Jonghyun before walking off.

Kibum immediately walked up to him, closing the gap between the two. 

“Kibum, don’t start.” Jonghyun just knew him too well.

“Who are those boys, Jjong? Do you know them?” Kibum pestered him.

Jonghyun just shrugged and walked past them. Kibum was hot on his trails.

“Jonghyun? Who were they?”

Jonghyun knew he needed to give some sort of answer for Kibum to stop. 

“Some boys in my class.” He said, lowly. 

Jonghyun decided to walk towards the direction of where Kibum asked him to go that afternoon.

“Are they your friends?” 

“No.”

“Why were they following you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well why-“

“Kibum.” 

They stopped dead in their tracks. They stood facing each other, equally both frustrated and annoyed. 

Kibum wanted an explanation and Jonghyun just wanted to be left alone.

“Are they bullying you?” 

The question felt so loud when the surrounding area was so quiet. Jonghyun was upset. But he softened his gaze upon Kibum seeing how worried he became.

“Kibum, you're dramatic.” He said bluntly. Maybe a bit too blunt as he saw the shocked look in Kibum’s eyes.

“I don’t want you involved in this. You would take things too far.” He admitted. Jonghyun walked off in the opposite direction leaving Kibum behind. 

Kibum frowned. That’s not the answer he wanted to hear. 

But his best friend's response just answered his question. 

Kibum watched as he walked off into the distance.

Clearly their original plans wouldn’t be carried out today.

But Kibum wasn’t upset about that. No, he was too angry at the fact that Jonghyun was being mistreated. 

His friend didn’t get to have a normal school life like he did. He was only able to experience it for a measly two years and he would be damned if he let anyone ruin his time while he was here.

And Jonghyun was right. He would take things too far.

So that's why the next morning he asked around and found the two boys who were being mean to his friend and gave them a lesson they would never forget.

                                       —

Jonghyun walked and skimmed through the crowd looking for his friends. 

He hadn’t seen Kibum at all since they got off the bus. The two were a bit upset after their disagreement yesterday, so they didn’t even bother to talk to each on their bus ride to school that morning, so now he was a little eager to speak to him.

When he spotted his friends he sat down, next to Minho with Jinki and Taemin in front of him. Kibum wasn’t in sight, so he thought he would save the seat next to him for him.

It was strange that he wasn’t there yet, but it was stranger when his friends suddenly ceased their conversation when he arrived. They all gave each other worried looks, talking with their eyes.

“Well hello to you too.” Jonghyun said. He got no response which made the awkwardness even more prevalent.

“Where is Kibum?” He asked.

Minho looked down at his lunch. Taemin looked at Jinki. And Jinki looked at Jonghyun confused.

“You…don’t know?” Jinki asked hesitantly.

“Don’t know what?” Jonghyun asked.

Minho, Taemin, and Jinki looked at each other. Shrugging their shoulders and whispering ‘you do it!’ as if Jonghyun couldn't hear them.

“No. Not me.” Minho said.

Taemin looked at Jinki again.

“What? Don’t look at me! You found out first!” Jinki said exasperated.

Taemin sighed.

“He’s in detention for the day!” Taemin blurted out, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“Huh?” Jonghyun said.

Kibum? Goody-two shoes Kim Kibum? In detention? There was just no way. 

“He kicked some guys in the nuts, first period!” Taemin continued.

“Wait what?”

“He said some guys were teasing you. So, he said he was going to find those guys and that he was going to teach them a lesson. But, he said not to tell you…please don’t tell him I told you.” Taemin pleaded.

The three were unsure how Jonghyun would react. They had never seen him upset or show much emotion. But they already knew they were going to get a mouth full from Kibum whenever they saw him next. 

Jonghyun stood up from the table abruptly. Leaving his lunch untouched.

He was upset because he specifically told Kibum he didn’t want him involved. He didn’t need saving.

He marched over the detention room, knowing that kids in detention also had lunch there as they weren’t allowed interactions with well behaved students for the day. He wanted to see for himself.

He peeked through the window searching for Kibum’s face and low and behold he saw him. 

The teacher sat in the front of the classroom  monitoring them all carefully, making sure no one spoke.

Kibum sat in the back, not eating as he played with his food with his utensils. It was hard to read the expression on his face but he didn’t look too thrilled. 

He tore his gaze away before the teacher could catch him.

He wanted to tell Kibum he didn’t need his help! He wasn’t some baby! He was eighteen years old! He was grown damnit!

He wanted to give Kibum a good talking to!

But then he realized Kibum would get that from his mom anyway.

He thought for a second. Kibum came to his defense knowing it would get him in trouble with not only the school, but also his mom. And he knew how important it was for Kibum to keep his parents off of his back. But the idea of defending him was greater to him in that moment than the backlash he knew he would get at home.

He decided that maybe Kibum would have suffered enough for today.

Later on that evening when schools ended he waited at the gates of the school waiting to meet Kibum. He decided to miss his bus home and worry about his father's complaints later. The whole school almost emptied out after twenty minutes or so. But there was still no sign of him.

His worries were put to a pause when he saw Jinki coming out as one of the last few students.

“Hey, you going home anytime soon?” Jinki asked  running up to him. 

“No.” He said shortly. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

And Jinki sensed this.

“Well okay…see you later then.” Jinki said about to walk off.

“Oh, and by the way-“ Jinki paused his steps before he spoke again.

“Kibum has to stay after school and clean off all the white boards in the fourth year classes. Just thought you would like to know. So…he’ll be a while.”

Some relief was lifted off of his shoulders. He knew now he didn’t need to worry.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t tell him I told you?”

Jonghyun cracked a small smile.

“My lips are sealed.”

                                    —

It was getting a little dark outside. The clouds had turned a grayish blue color and the sky along with it. Kibum walked out of the school relief that the day was almost over, well it wouldn’t be complete without his mothers bickering now would it? 

He sighed at the thought.

He was upset that the boys weren’t reprimanded for their bullying since there was “no proof”. So he wasn’t in the best of moods. 

But the moments he saw Jonghyun standing at the school gates entrance his heart skipped a beat. 

What was he doing here? Oh, Taemin, Minho, and Jinki we’re going to get an ear full tomorrow.

He walked slowly towards him embarrassed, his tail between his legs ready for Jonghyun to lecture him.

“Hey.” He said when he stopped to stand in front of him.

“Hey.” Jonghyun said, looking at him with an unreadable expression. “Are you hungry?” He asked suddenly

“U-uhh, I mean I guess so? Why?” Kibum asked, obviously confused.

He watched as Jonghyun slung his backpack from over his shoulder, messily ped it and pulled out a samgak kimbap and a juice. 

“Here, Kim.” Jonghyun said, handing it over.

Kibum couldn’t have been any more grateful than in that moment. He blushed and thanked him silently as the two made their leave. 

It was a quiet walk home. They decided not to address the obvious. They didn’t speak much. But they didn’t need to speak.

They didn’t need words to explain just how much they cared for each other. 

                                       ***

“Can I come over?”

Jonghyun squinted at the time on his phone through the dark. It was nearly 11 o’clock. He was usually up at all hours of the night, but he had got in bed early this night. And the one night he went to bed early…Kibum called to wake him up.

“What? Kibum it’s so late. My dad isn’t going to let you in. And your mom would freak out.”

“She kicked me out.” He responded.

This brought Jonghyun out of his sleep fully. He took a moment to try to assess the situation. Kibum’s favor was very unusual and out of character for him. They both knew how their parents were. Plus, Kibum sounded like he was crying.

“Why?” He asked.

“I came out to her.”

Jonghyun sat up in his bed and turned his lamp on.

“I’ll sneak you in. Come in 5.” He abruptly hung up to throw on some pajama pants and shirt. He moved quietly and swiftly making sure not to wake his father up. He cracked his door open slowly. He went towards his father's door putting his ear up to it. His father was usually a heavy sleeper, he had been able to sneak out before. But this time Kibum was coming over to his place. The sound of two voices might startle him awake. He waited until he heard at least five conservative snoring sounds before he snuck off to his front door. He opened his door painfully slow and peaked his head outside to see Kibum, with a duffle bag in tow, walking up to his door. 

He held a finger to his lips and mouth to him to be very quiet. 

Kibum took off his shoes but brought them with him to Jonghyun’s room so his father wouldn’t be suspicious at the sight of a new pair of shoes at the door. 

Jonghyun brought Kibum inside and locked his door. His father had a rule about locking doors in the house, but he simply couldn’t risk his father opening his door and seeing Kibum. And at the moment he wasn’t really concerned with the consequences.

Kibum’s eyes were bloodshot red and puffy from crying. He was sniffling, so Jonghyun quickly got him some tissue to muffle his sounds. 

“What happened?” Jonghyun whispered. The two were sitting on his bed.

“My parents…they were supposed to be out late. They weren’t supposed to come back yet. So…I…You know Junu from my physics class? I invited him over…” 

Jonghyun wasn’t sure why his stomach tightened at the sounds of that name. He also had no idea Kibum would be the type to sneak someone into his home. Well maybe besides him of course.

“We were…kissing…and I didn’t hear them come back in. She just barged into my room without knocking and saw us…” He sniffled again. 

“I’m such an idiot. I had no excuse but to come out to them.” At this, tears started to fall from his eyes again. He tried to hold in the sob that wanted to escape from his lips. 

Jonghyun rubbed his back to try to help him to calm down.

Kibum had made it his life’s mission to keep this secret from his parents. So to see him have his most intimate and private secret about his life be revealed forcefully made him pity his friend. It wasn’t fair. Jonghyun hadn’t thought about telling his father about his preferences. They didn’t talk about such personal things and he thought it wasn’t really his business anyway. And he wasn’t too sure of what reaction he would get either. And he didn’t want to find out. 

“She got so angry. She kicked him out and started yelling at me. But then-then she told me to get out. I don’t know how l-long for. So I brought my school stuff and some clothes.” Kibum said, referring to his duffle bag.

Jonghyun had a feeling his banishment would lift soon. Kibum’s mother had the need to control him, so she would definitely request his presence back very soon. 

“I’m so sorry.” Jonghyun said. He leaned into Kibum to embrace him. He felt Kibum shaking in his arms.

“She doesn’t love me anymore.” Kibum whimpered. 

“She does. She just has a…strange way of showing it.” Jonghyun said.

Jonghyun backed up from the hug to makes sure Kibum heard his next words clearly.

“Besides…” He started. 

“If she doesn’t, that’s her loss. Not yours.” Jonghyun said, echoing back the words of encouragement Kibum said to him, in a moment of comfort that he had desperately needed at the time.

It took Kibum a moment, but he understood. And when he did, he smiled.

Kibum wasn’t sure what was to come regarding his relationship between him and his parents but in this moment he felt accepted, not judged. And that’s all he really wanted. So he stopped crying. 

Instead, he laid his head down on his friend's shoulder, seeking warmth and reassurance.

“Thank you.”

                                    ***

“Graduation tomorrow.” Kibum said.

“Graduation tomorrow.” Jonghyun repeated.

The Suneung exams were over. The biggest and most important test of their highschool careers, and they both passed. Now it was time to start their next stage in life.

University.

“What do you think it will be like? Like the movies?” Kibum asked as they laid underneath the stars at the park. 

“I hope not.” Jonghyun said.

It was their last day as highschool students together. They snuck out of home to meet and reminisce about their time together and what the next step in life will bring.

“I’m dreading tomorrow. I just know my mom will take this as an opportunity for a photo op. It won’t be about me, it will be about her. About her raising such a perfect son.” Kibum said.

“…but I can’t wait to be free. Be independent.” Kibum said. 

His parents caved in and demanded him back home almost immediately after the incident a few months ago. His mother decided not to acknowledge or accept his ual orientation. She would just continue to parade him around and brag about him to others and label him as the perfect son. She would not have her image tainted. And having a son that was homeless would do just that. 

They don’t talk about that night, but the animosity lingers in the air.

“I can’t wait to breathe.” Jonghyun added. 

He would now be free from his overly strict and paranoid father. Maybe now he could experience what life could be like without someone looking over your shoulder and enforcing boundaries on you. 

“Let’s always stay by each other's side, okay?” Kibum said, tearing his gaze away from the night sky to look at his friend. 

“Of course.That’s a given.” 

Kibum smiled at his response. 

“Promise?” Kibum asked.

“Promise.” 

And they always took their promises seriously.

They sat in silence for a few moments enjoying each other's company, until Kibum’s phone admitted an obnoxious sound.

Jonghyun watched Kibum’s eyes glide across his screen and his lips curve into a  smile.

“Jinki texted me. Let’s go meet the boys downtown at the arcade.” Kibum said excitedly.

“But what about our-“ Jonghyun paused. Tonight was their last night as highschool students. They’ve worked hard. They deserved to have some fun.

Kibum had this mischievous glint in his eyes.

“ it. Let’s go.”

-----------------------------------------