Kibum tried. He really tried. 

He had so many things on his plate and until he could clear some things off he held on to his relationship as tight as he could. 

So when graduation came, he realized having the weight of school off his shoulders had let him pick himself up, even if it was the slightest.

It was time for him to look for a job and pursue a career in journalism. He needed to focus on just him now.

So, he ended the engagement right after graduation.

There were tears. So many tears. And Kibum was tired of crying honestly.

He was also extremely embarrassed.

When they had got engaged, Dongwoon had made sure to plaster the news all over social media and relay the message to anyone that listened.

So now he had to delete any evidence from that and try not to cry when people asked when the wedding was and he had to explain through gritted teeth that it was canceled. He acted as if it didn’t bother him in front of others. But he spent many nights crying at home alone. 

His parents, especially his mother, had also berated him about “giving up” on his relationship so easily. 

He couldn’t tell people he was unhappy. He couldn’t tell people he fell out of love (was he even in love to begin with?). He couldn’t tell them that he felt forced to marry when he didn’t want to. 

Because did anyone really care? All they saw was a good looking couple that failed to save their broken relationship.

 

But Jonghyun knew. 

He remembered telling him about his problems that night at the bar when he became sober again. He didn’t mention it again, but he now knew the truth behind their relationship. 

So it was no surprise when Jonghyun was with him and there to support him as soon as the engagement was called off.

It felt  as though they had started spending every waking moment together for the next few weeks.

And Jonghyun couldn’t be more thankful. 

He felt like a complete for feeling happy. He was happy Kibum wasn’t going through with it. He was happy Kibum was doing what he wanted and not what others expected of him. And the selfish part of him (that had started to grow more recently) was happy because now Kibum was free. He was free from Dongwoon and he wouldn’t have to worry about another man stealing Kibum’s heart. 

But it pained him to see him so broken and lost. He had started spending many late nights on the phone with him providing him company until he fell asleep or soothing him when he cried. If Kibum said he was lonely he would stop what he was doing and pack up his things and give him company 

He decided it would be his mission to make him happy again.

 

“Let’s go to the park.” Jonghyun said one evening after picking Kibum up from visiting his mother.

Kibum was in a sullen mood after being prodded with questions about his ex-fiancée from his mother. It was one of the most uncomfortable meetings he had with his mother in a long time. It took years for his mother to accept that he was gay and now he felt ashamed to tell her that his engagement failed. All she did was ask questions relentlessly while ignoring how clearly broken he looked. He was drained.

“Why?” He asked absentmindedly. He wanted to go home and just sulk in his bed.

“Let’s just go.” Jonghyun shrugged. Kibum playfully rolled his eyes. 

Jonghyun wouldn’t allow Kibum to just sit in his room and waste away. 

He drove them to the park where Kibum trailed behind him. Jonghyun started taking random photos of nature. He thought he needed a breath of fresh air and that maybe a nice scenery would brighten his mood some. They used to love going to the park as kids. 

And Kibum hardly got to see his older friend in his element or working on his craft like this, so he was intrigued to see his friend ’work’. Kibum took note of the trees, flowers, and even people just walking by. He took note because Jonghyun did. He didn’t always stop to notice how beautiful the little things could be. But Jonghyun did. He had always been attentive to detail with things, whether it were objects or people. But being with him today helped distract himself from his regular solemn thoughts for a while. 

He smiled when he saw a butterfly had landed on his wrist. He never had this happen before, so it was a pleasant surprise. But it flew away from the shuttering sound of Jonghyun’s camera.

“What are you doing?” Kibum asked.

“Taking a picture of you and your new friend.” Jonghyun said nonchalantly as he checked the photo he just took and then held it back up to his face to snap another photo.

“W-why? Stop!” Kibum said, hiding his face making sure Jonghyun couldn’t see him.

“Why?” Jonghyun asked.

He walked up to him showing him the pictures that he caught of him smiling when he wasn’t paying attention. Kibum leaned in to see and was a bit taken aback at how peaceful he looked in the photos. His mind had been feeling so jumbled and clouded he couldn’t remember the last time he felt relaxed. 

“These are nice.” He said.

“I know.”

Kibum stared at the pictures wondering when was the last time he smiled. 

“Do you remember that time we got lost in that giant park near Konkuk?” Jonghyun asked suddenly.

Kibum’s eyes grew wide from the sudden recollection of the memories.

“Oh God, yes! Our parents were so pissed when we came back late. Didn’t your dad call the police?” Kibum said laughing. 

Jonghyun rolled his eyes. 

“Our phones died too, so we couldn’t even call them. But I still think he overreacted.” 

The pair had originally gone out that night to rant about their teenage problems when they had gotten lost at night in a large park they have never gone to before. They had to hitch a ride from a stranger, as the subways were closed and they didn’t even have enough money for a bus or taxi. 

“We were some dumb back then.” Kibum said laughing. He shoved Jonghyun playfully when he heard the shutter sound from his camera again. 

 

They walked around for an hour or so before Kibum deemed that it was time for him to go home.

Jonghyun tried his best to keep his friend's mind distracted and keep him occupied. That’s why he accepted his offer to stay over for a bit after getting to his place.

But he had no idea that this evening would change the course of their relationship. That it would finally be their turning point.

 

                                     —

 

“Any plans for the evening?” Kibum asked as he threw some of his belongings across his kitchen table as he settled into his home. 

“Not particularly,” Jonghyun said, taking a seat on the couch. He leaned back making his position more comfortable. “But I guess I do now.” 

“Sorry, I don’t have anything particularly exciting planned again.” Kibum mopped.

Jonghyun wasn’t sure how many times he had to reassure Kibum that time alone, even if they did nothing, was fine with him. 

Kibum his TV, surfing through the channels, as he sat down next to him. Jonghyun remembered this habit of his, turning on the TV when he didn’t feel like talking but just enjoyed having company near him. 

So he sat comfortably in silence while sitting next to him for a while until Kibum felt like talking again.

It was quite some time before they spoke again, but he knew something was on a Kibum’s mind as he snuck peaks at him and saw him knawing at his lips and furrowing his eyebrows.

“Hey…” Kibum called.

“Yea?” 

“How is your girlfriend?” Kibum asked. 

That was sudden. 

Jonghyun gave him a questioning gaze.

Kibum kept a poker face, pretending as if he didn’t care that much. 

“Why? Since when have you cared?” Jonghyun asked rather bluntly. He didn’t mean to sound harsh. But since when has Kibum ever cared about the people he dated?

Kibum cut his eyes at him for a split second, a little annoyed with his response.

“You haven't really mentioned her these days…I’m just curious that’s all...” Kibum, shrugged. He kept his eyes on the TV.

Jonghyun never talked about his girlfriend, maybe he mentioned her in passing once, but they never spoke about his relationship. Kibum was just too easy to read. 

“We’re taking a break.” He responded.

They had more or less ended the relationship. 

Taeyeon's curiosity about the nature of their friendship started to grow. Jonghyun had started mentally checking out as well when he saw how much Kibum needed support. He decided to come clean to her about the kiss they shared as well, and she decided it was best if they took some time away from each other. But they both knew they wouldn’t be coming back to one another.

“Really?” Kibum’s face had practically lit up, but he still composed himself.

“Why do you really want to know?” Jonghyun couldn’t help but ask with a cocky tone. 

It was then Kibum turned to him to give him an annoyed look before sighing and rolling his eyes and looking back at the TV.

Okay, maybe he shouldn’t stress him out.

“Anyways, it was best if we ended it because I would rather spend more time with you.” Jonghyun said.

“Why?”

“To make sure you’re okay.” Jonghyun said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I care about you. You’re the closest person to me. I’d do anything to make sure you’re happy.” Jonghyun said, truthfully.

Kibum was a bit taken aback by his sudden honesty. He felt a little shy too. They had a close bond, even when they were apart. But it still surprised him when he heard how strongly Jonghyun felt.

“Anything?” Kibum asked. His word hung in the air for a bit. His attention now fully on Jonghyun.

“Yea.”

“You’ll do anything?” Kibum asked again.

Jonghyun nodded. He had an inkling to where this might be going, but maybe he was getting his hopes up. But also wanted to test his luck too.

“Of course,” He said. “Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you.”

Jonghyun’s heart started beating fast when he saw Kibum’s eyes flicker down to his lips. 

However Kibum wanted to interpret what he said was entirely up to him. He would let him decide how he wanted to handle the sudden tense atmosphere around them. 

He could see Kibum fighting with himself internally, he wore his emotions on his face, he always had. Kibum slowly reached out and put his hand on Jonghyun’s thigh. He didn’t caress him or grasp him tightly, in fact he looked a bit uncertain. Scared even. Jonghyun didn’t react. He didn’t want to deter him or discourage him from doing what he was about to do next. So he waited.

They looked into each others eyes deeply for a few moments. It felt like an eternity.

“Kiss me. I want you to kiss me.” Kibum said.

Jonghyun wordlessly obeyed, not even thinking twice before bringing Kibum’s face to his and kissing him. Kibum immediately allowed his body to respond by pulling himself close and shifting his position so that Jonghyun had better access to him.

They were going down the same rabbit hole again. Except this time he had a feeling there wouldn’t be anything or anyone to interrupt them this time.

The kiss deepened when arms were thrown around each other and Jonghyun took control.

This time Kibum wasn’t as aggressive as the first time, a bit hesitant at first even. But he was slowly becoming fully into the kiss, now allowing Jonghyun to touch him and move him around how he wanted. 

Buttons were being popped open and clothes were being pushed to the side. Skin was set ablaze by the simplest touch.

Their positions had shifted.

Jonghyun never would he have thought in their ten plus year friendship that he would have his best friend slowly becoming half and writhing under him on his couch.

It didn’t feel real.

Suddenly Jonghyun was worried that it was too good to be true, that maybe in fact something would stop them from taking the next step in their ‘relationship’. The sudden thought made him rush in his movements. The change in rhythm caught Kibum’s attention and he stopped him in his tracks.

Jonghyun looked at him worried that he might have upset him or made him uncomfortable.

“Slow down, Jonghyun,” Kibum said. He looked into his eyes so deeply, and almost lovingly, he dared to think. The look held in Kibum’s eyes was filled with such fondness and concern. How had he not drowned in the sea of his eyes years ago?

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” Kibum said before pulling him back down by the collar of his shirt for a slow sensual kiss.

They decided to move to Kibum’s bedroom where they finally revealed the most intimate parts of themselves to each other. With every piece of clothing that was peeled off the more transparent and vulnerable they felt. They hardly had a hard time reading each other, but like this it was clear as day how the other felt. Jonghyun had never treated a partner like this. So gentle yet assertive. He wanted to treat Kibum better than anyone he had ever been with. He wanted him to feel safe and cared for. And truly, Kibum had never felt so taken care of. All his needs were fulfilled and he felt his desires being met. He had no idea that all this time he had craved for the other's body.

Feelings and words that had been suppressed for years were finally set free. This new relationship between them could evolve into something that could be beautiful and long lasting or something ugly and resented. 

But they could only wait and see.

 

                                     ***

 

Kibum was slowly stirring from his sleep. Dreamland was being left far behind as the light from the sun began leaking through his binders and blaring through his eyelids. He woke up feeling soar but refreshed. He had gotten good sleep last night. Really good sleep. His eyes and nose scrunched together as he yawned and out of habit he stretched. But he paused immediately when he felt his actions being restricted by a tight squeeze. He felt two strong arms tighten around his middle and he suddenly became aware of the warm puffs of hair on his neck. There was a warm body glued to his.

Oh he slept with Jonghyun. That was not a wet dream.

He froze in place, unsure whether to turn around and look at him or speak. He chose the former, checking to see if he was awake yet and if he was freaking out mentally just like him. 

He slowly turned his head, but even that action was limited as his face turned into a head full of hair. Jonghyun’s face was mostly smushed into his shoulder. But from what he could see his eyes were close and he felt him breathing deeply. He was most certainly still deep asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief because he wasn’t so sure he was ready to face him just yet anyway. Jonghyun looked so peaceful as he slept. He never realized just how smooth his skin was or how charming his thick eyebrows were or how ridiculously long his lashes were. He never had time to analyze his face this up close before. But what caught his attention the most was the small smile that was on his face as he slept.

 

Kibum wasn’t sure when he fell asleep again. He had felt all too comfortable in Jonghyun’s arms and let the warmth and comfort lul him back to sleep. Plus it wouldn’t do either of them any good to wake Jonghyun up, so he stayed put. 

But this time when he woke back up he was alone. He immediately jumped up when he realized the warmth he felt earlier was completely gone. He looked behind him to see the sheets void of any life. In fact  they were cold. He looked around the room dizzly, still trying to fight off the sleep. 

Had Jonghyun…left?

A sudden rush of heat was felt under his eyes. His vision became blurry. 

What had he done? He made a huge mistake. He slept with his best friend. He slept with Jonghyun. How could he do something like that? Now their friendship was ruined.

A small sob released from his lips when a few tears came down. He rubbed at his eyes harshly, ashamed and angry. How could Jonghyun just leave him like this? They could at least talk about it. They owed each other that at least! He was all alone and cold in his bed. How could he be so selfish and give in to his temptations so easily?

He was embarrassed.

The tears kept coming until he heard a loud bang from his kitchen. 

He jumped from the sudden sound. He sat still and waited to hear another sound but he heard nothing. Great! Now would a robber come to steal from him and humiliate him even further?! But that was nearly impossible. A code was needed to put in to enter his apartment.

Either way Kibum jumped out of his bed and threw on his clothes that were on his floor. He jumped up ready for whatever was on the other side of his door but froze when he saw the culprit.

Jonghyun looked at him wide eyed, a bit surprised by how forcefully he entered. He was standing there in the middle of his kitchen, Kibum realizing instantly that he was wearing his sweatpants and T-Shirt. He even wore a pair of his socks! He stood there with food displayed on the kitchen counter as well with plastic bags and utensils.

 

“Were you crying?“ Jonghyun asked, breaking him out of his trance.

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Kibum choked out. His voice was a little hoarse from waking up and crying.

“I didn’t want to walk around the house .” Jonghyun said, straightforward.

Kibum nodded absentmindedly.

“Were you crying? Your eyes are red.” Jonghyun asked again, walking up to him. 

Kibum had a hard time registering a hand that wasn’t his that laid gently on his hip as another other wiped away a tear on his cheek. He stood still as he looked past Jonghyun and at his kitchen counter.

“I got us some breakfast. I didn’t want to wake you up yet, but it’s still warm.” Jonghyun said, noticing his stare.

“Kibum are you okay?” He asked, concerned after not receiving an answer from his previous question.

“I-I thought you left me. I thought you were angry at me. I thought I ruined everything.” Kibum said, his confession bringing back tears to his eyes. Jonghyun pulled him in for a hug and rubbed his back lightly to calm him down. 

“Haven’t you realized by now I wouldn’t leave your side?”

 

                                       ***

 

Kibum had thought he had made the absolute biggest mistake of his life. He thought that their ten plus years of friendship was destroyed from just a single night of passion. He thought.

But everything was the same. Kibum saw the way Jonghyun refused to let this change how they interacted with each other. He wouldn’t let that night change them for the worst.

It had been labeled as just a one night stand for a few weeks up until they couldn’t help but let their desires take over again.  

They then had many other nights like that again. Nights where they became one and the only thing that mattered happened within those four walls. 

And Kibum decided he liked this. Whatever this was.

He liked watching Jonghyun’s face would contort and drip with sweat when he engulfed him in his warmth. He liked being held at night and kissed to sleep. He liked waking up in his arms and still feeling like everything was completely normal between the two, because it did. It did feel normal.

It did feel normal to hold hands and leave impulsive kisses on one another’s cheek. It felt normal to spend the days and nights together in the park or in the bed. It felt normal to take each other as a lover and still be each other's best friends.

Everything felt the same.

They still acted the same. Their friendship never dissolved. Nothing felt differently between the two aside from the occasional hand holding, kissing, and well….

Being intimate was the only thing that was different now.

And they also started to accept the new normal.

Slowly being in each other's homes every single day became normal. Wearing each other's clothes and bringing over more of their personal things into each other's space became normal. Random calls to tell each other that they simply missed each other was normal. 

It became so normal to the point it was expected. 

Their new normal.

 

And they were happy. Jonghyun was beyond happy and so was Kibum.

Jonghyun treated him tenderly. He felt like he had  always been attentive to Kibum, but even more so now. He still felt the need to support him emotionally after watching him end something that was meant to be meaningful to him. He didn’t want Kibum to be sad anymore, he didn’t want him to feel like had to be alone.

And it was the little things that Kibum did that felt way more impactful now than they did before. When he laid a hand on his thigh or when he tucked hair behind his ears, Jonghyun felt like he was over the moon. Because these touches meant something different now. 

 

Well.

So, maybe some things did change. The intimacy between them felt pure and raw. Deeper and more fulfilling than what they had before.

 

It went on like this for a couple of months.  It went by so fast neither of the two had noticed. 

They never defined what they were. Too scared to break the illusion on both ends.

Jonghyun thought they were definitely past the ‘friend’ title. He wanted more from this than just . He wanted him. All of him.

So it bothered Jonghyun a bit when they never made it official. But they both just ended a relationship, so was a new relationship really what they needed right now? Not really. And perhaps the two knew that. They knew but couldn’t help but to act upon their feelings. 

But if they said what they wanted out loud it would become too real. And they didn’t want to face reality just yet.

Weren’t they allowed to live in bliss a little bit longer? 

 

They kept whatever they had a secret from everyone, still acting as normal as possible in front of their friends. They needed to figure out what they had on their own. They didn’t need any advice or second opinions.

But Jinki was no fool.

He was the most observant. He would often make comments on how Kibum looked way too happy after just ending a long relationship and engagement while questioning Jonghyun as to what could possibly be the reason for this. But they kept their mouths shut, making Jinki think that what he was insinuating was ludicrous. 

So, sometimes they avoided their friends if only too dodge their questions and knowing looks.

 

                                      ***

 

Kibum rolled over into a pile of hair tickling his nose. He often forgot that Jonghyun liked to sleep under him. But how could he forget when they practically shared the same bed every night? 

Kibum wanted to get out of bed and stretch his limbs, but it felt almost impossible with a certain someone trying to squeeze him tighter with every move he made. 

“Jjong…” He groaned. 

Said man didn’t answer, but just nozzled his face into his back.

“Jjong, I want to get up now.” Kibum said, sleep still evident in his voice.

“Five minutes.” Jonghyun said sleepily.

“No. Five minutes turns into ten. And ten turns into an hour. And then an hour is the whole day.” Kibum whined.

They have had plenty of days where neither of two wanted to get out of bed, but instead cuddled in the bed and had endless talks about everything and nothing.

Kibum felt warm kisses on his neck that were trailing down to his shoulder. He signed and leaned back into the touch.

“Jjong…I want to be productive today…” He said while slowly feeling his motivation resolve.

“Okay.” Jonghyun said, but not before leaving a kiss behind his ear, his weak spot.

Before Kibum got up he turned around in his hold when the grip around his waist was loosened just the tiniest bit. They laid in each other's arms in a hug, Kibum’s face buried in his shoulder as Jonghyun ran his fingers lightly down his back. They did this quite often. Just laying in each other's arms before getting out of bed. It was possible for them to provide each other non-ual intimacy, comfort and warmth. They cherished these moments too.

Kibum left a soft kiss to Jonghyun’s shoulder before huffing and jumping out of bed, instantly missing the skin on skin contact. Jonghyun propping himself up to enjoy his view of the mess he made of Kibum from the night before.

 

Kibum was very content these days. It was summer time so Kibum was taking a break before searching for a stable job. And Jonghyun didn’t have summer classes so he had a break as well before he went back to school, so he spent that time with Kibum. Kibum’s mother, although still sick, was starting to stabilize and hadn’t been to the doctor for some weeks now. She still needed some care, so Kibum felt obligated to still go home often to check on her and help her. He also felt less restricted since leaving his fiancée. Jonghyun wasn’t controlling the way Dongwoon was. If he wanted his time alone then Jonghyun would give it to him. But these days Kibum wanted to be around him more than not.  And the blow of his engagement ending was softened by a certain someone that had also softened his heart. 

Yes, Kibum was happy.

“Will you come with me to run some errands today?” Kibum asked from his bathroom.

He started to feel like it was a bit foolish to ask such questions these days. Unless the two were busy the answer was always yes. But it was still nice to give each other the option to say no.

“Of course.” Jonghyun mumbled from the bed. His face was stuffed into the pillow and buried under the covers since losing his source of heat.

He was comfortable. But Kibum wanted his company so he would give it to him.

 

They got ready and dressed to head out for the day.                 

Sometimes they were affectionate in public and sometimes they weren’t, depending on Kibum’s mood. But Jonghyun knew in private he had free reign. In private, he never held back and touched every inch of Kibum’s body that he possibly could. And there was hardly ever a time Kibum wasn’t receptive to it. 

But being touchy in public was different.

Jonghyun found that Kibum was quit an affectionate person. He would always kiss him or hold his hand or touch any part of his body if possible. But in public the most Kibum would do with him was hold hands if he felt like it. He wondered why and Kibum told him Dongwoon didn’t like public display of affection, so he had gotten used to keeping his hands to himself after a while. 

But Jonghyun would help him break that habit. If Kibum wanted to kiss or hold him he wouldn’t stop him. But he would let him do it when he wanted to, he would wait until he was comfortable doing it again.

So he was happy when Kibum interlaced their fingers and tugged him along after leaving a breakfast place Kibum picked that morning. 

They’ve held hands before as little kids when they played but stop doing such things as they got older. So it felt familiar and nostalgic for Jonghyun to be doing it again.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Kibum asked, grinning at him.

“No reason.” Jonghyun said before bringing their interlocked hands to his face and leaving a kiss to Kibum’s wrist.

He watched as his whole face turned red.

“S-stop that,”  Kibum said, embarrassed.

“Let’s get today started. I need to stop by the mall and go to the market after. I need to do some clothes shopping too. I saw a sweater I thought you might like.” Kibum said, rambling to conceal his embarrassment as he pulled the two along. 

As the day went by, the two got even more comfortable with each other. Moments where Kibum was tired he would wrap his arm around his and rest his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder. He didn’t feel as embarrassed or flinch if Jonghyun left a kiss on his cheek.

Once errands were done for the day a movie night was suggested. So they spent the rest of the evening on the couch laying in each other's arms until they ended up tangled in the bed sheets that very same night.

 

Everything was going so well for them. But how long did they expect to keep this kind of ‘relationship’ going? 

 

                                       ***

 

The longer they stayed together the more they truly got to know each other.

They knew each other well. They knew each other's flaws as friends. 

But they never experienced each other's flaws as lovers. The impact was much more different now. They didn’t understand just how deeply their imperfections could affect the other.

 

Kibum had always been notorious for his jealousy. It was one of the strongest emotions he felt and he tended to lose a bit of rational thinking when he felt that way. It had always made Jonghyun feel uncomfortable. Before he didn’t understand why Kibum was always so jealous when he brought his lovers around. Now it made sense. But Kibum had him now, so there was no need for him to act like this anymore. He didn’t like it all. He didn’t like the way Kibum filled himself with such negative emotions. And he didn’t like the way it made him feel either.

So, he finally addressed it one day when Kibum started to get into one of his moods after an awkward encounter with one of Jonghyun’s old flings on an outing. 

“Your jealousy can be suffocating sometimes.” Jonghyun said during a passive aggressive argument where Kibum continued to press him about his silent attitude while on their ride back home after their disastrous outing.

“Excuse me?” Kibum said, a bit stunned.

Kibum just couldn’t stand to see someone that Jonghyun had dealt with in the past so close to him again. 

“It makes me feel anxious. I start worrying about you when you start acting like that.” Jonghyun continued. It made him feel on edge because he was never sure what Kibum would say or do next.

“W-what?” 

“You don’t need to be like that, Kibum. You don’t have anything to worry about. You know I’m always here for you in the end anyway.” He tried to reassure him.

Kibum felt like he couldn’t help it. He hated when he felt like he was being threatened, challenged or overlooked. He hated that feeling because he always tried to be at his best. And having someone stepping too close into his territory was a threat.

 

But Kibum wasn’t the only one with problems.

 

Jonghyun had a terrible habit of not disclosing his real feelings when his feelings were hurt. When he kept his feelings inside he would stone wall to keep from revealing the real issue.

 

“Why are you ignoring me?” Kibum asked in distressed.

 

Because I’m hurt

 

“Because I have nothing to say.” Jonghyun said.

“Bull. Yes, you do.” Kibum hissed.

“I want to play my game.” He said, the clicking sounds of his controller sounded daunting.

“Why won’t you talk to me, Jjong?”

Something was said to him that he didn’t like and instead of just being honest with Kibum, he thought it best to just keep it to himself. He wouldn’t say why he was hurt, he refused. The last time he did, one of the most important people in his life walked out on him. So he decided it was best to hold his hurt in sometimes, so he wouldn’t hurt or push anyone else away.

“You always do this.” Kibum said, tears b from frustration. He wasn’t receiving any kind of response from him, so he knew it was a lost cause.

“Fine. Play your stupid game. I’m going to bed.” Kibum said, feeling his resolve beginning to slip when Jonghyun’s eyes didn’t even bother to look away from the screen.

 

Jonghyun’s silence drove him crazy. He hated feeling like he let someone down so he felt the need to always fix his mistakes with people. Kibum was a people pleaser when it came to his relationships. His relationship with his mother made him develop these tendencies. He started to overthink and worry when he made mistakes, so much so it could even bring him to tears at times.

 

“Jjong, I’m sorry.” Kibum said for the fifth time in a row.

“It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.”

“But, I messed up. Let me make it up to you? How about tomorrow we go out and we can-“

“Kibum,” Jonghyun called sternly. “It’s okay.” He didn’t want to hear Kibum worry himself sick, especially over something so minut.

“You're not mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

He wasn’t used to this. Kibum was used to being berated when he did something wrong. His mother had always done it. Dongwoon had always done it. But Jonghyun was patient.

He never yelled at him or scolded him over silly or harmless mistakes.

Jonghyun pulled Kibum in close to him to kiss him. 

“Relax. Not everything needs to be perfect all the time.”

“I know…but I just-“

“Kibum. Everything is fine. You know just being with you is perfect for me.”

 

Kibum felt reassured when he did this, but it was still ingrained in him at times. It was hard for him to break his bad habits. He wanted to reassure Jonghyun the same way he did to him as well, because he too had moments where he needed his support too.

Because Jonghyun had always had an underlying sense of abandonment. That’s why he never allowed himself to get too close to anyone, so it wouldn’t hurt when they parted. So he hadn’t had to deal with this overwhelming feelings in years. Until now.

With Kibum it was difficult. Jonghyun did fear losing him. He had known him all his life. And their bond had grown incredibly close to the point he started to feel a bit anxious towards a possible detachment from Kibum. 

 

“Fine! I’m gone. And don’t worry about seeing me tomorrow either.” Kibum hissed.

They both had strong personalities, so arguments were inevitable. But they still hated doing it nevertheless.

“What?” Jonghyun asked as he was met with silence.

“Kibum, what do you mean by that?”

“Exactly what I said.” 

“You-you're leaving?” Jonghyun said, sounding panicked.

Kibum didn’t say anything.

“Kibum?”

“Yes, Jonghyun! I’m leaving! What does it look like I’m doing?” He said picking up his things.

“W-wait…” Jonghyun called out to him as he watched him walk away. “Kibum wait.” He said again reaching out to him by his waist only for him to be shrugged off.

“Let’s talk.” He pleaded.

“I’m done talking!” 

He’s done? He was done? Done talking to him? He felt panic slowly building up. And when he saw his hand reach for the doorknob he knew he was about to lose it.

“Kibum, wait! Please, don’t leave me!” 

Kibum looked back at him confused at how distraught Jonghyun sounded. 

“I…just need some space, Jjong. I don’t like fighting with you…” He said carefully, trying to keep his emotions at bay. He didn’t particularly enjoy yelling at him. But he started to understand the reason behind Jonghyun’s extreme reaction when he took a moment to think clearly.

“B-but, you mean that right? You’ll come back?” Jonghyun asked, looking visibly nervous.

“Jjong…” Kibum tried to replaced his previous irritated and aggressive tone with a soft and gentle one once he realized his sudden actions were scaring him.

He walked up to him and cradled his face in his hands. He saw Jonghyun trying to compose himself and hold back his true emotions.

“I’m sorry. We can finish talking about it. I shouldn’t…walk out on you like that.” Kibum said. 

Walking out on him wasn’t the best idea. It only created fear in his heart and that is not what Kibum wanted to do.

 

 They lived in ignorance for only a little while until they saw they needed to face reality.

     

 

                                       ***

 

Their was a reason they avoided their friends for a bit.

They didn’t want any outside opinions or advice to interfere with whatever they were doing. If they did meet up, it wasn’t together. But recently the two have been getting messages begging for their presence as the five of them have not been together in a while. They couldn’t avoid them forever, they had to maintain a friendship after all.

 

“Jinki Hyung and Minho texted me again.” 

“Taemin called me too.”

Kibum had been laying his head on Jonghyun’s chest in bed. His head was rising and falling with his breathing and it was lulling him to sleep. 

Jonghyun’s face was halfway buried into Kibum’s locks, tickling his nose. His hands ran up and down his back gently, providing him comfort.

“We should go see them today.” Kibum said sleepily. 

“Mmm.” Was all Jonghyun provided for an answer. The two had been pushing each other's buttons lately as they were learning to deal with each other's flaws, so he cherished the moments where they were in each other’s presence peacefully. He didn’t want to get up.

“Shall we go?” Kibum asked, his eyes blinking slowly and lazily as he looked up at him.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but to kiss his lips.

“Yea.” He said after pulling away.

But the way Kibum smiled at him made him want to cuddle him into bed and never let him go.

“Okay, I’ll tell Taemin we’ll meet them later in the evening. Alright, I want to finish napping.” Kibum whined.

Instead of responding, Jonghyun had his eyes trained on his lips. So the response he gave him was a needy kiss. It caught Kibum by surprise but he welcomed it nevertheless. 

“You're not going to let me sleep are you?” Kibum said between kisses.

“I want you one last time before I have to share you later.” He whispered huskily into Kibum’s ear. 

Well how could he say no to that?

 

                                      ——

 

Jonghyun was a bit nervous. And so was Kibum. They had grown awfully close now, so to be less affectionate with one another would be a challenge. They often reminded each other just to act normal. No touching. No hand holding. And especially no kissing. The moment they exited the house they enacted these rules.

Kibum would have to try refrain from tucking Jonghyun’s hair behind his ear. Jonghyun would have to try fight the urge to rest his hand on Kibum’s upper thigh. It was the little things that became normal to them that would blow their cover.

 

They tried, they really did. 

 

They hadn’t even noticed how touchy they had been. They tried to act normally but by default they ended up acting how they do when they are with each other.

 

“What?”

 

It had been too long since they all hung out as a group. It was normal for the pair to see each other everyday now, but to see Jinki, Minho, and Taemin together was a rarity now. Especially having all five of them together in one place.

 

“What?!” Kibum barked again when Taemin wouldn’t divert his attention from him. 

“Nothing.” Taemin shrugged.

They were all out to eat at an old hangout spot they frequented in undergrad. They were catching up on old times and reminiscing. But Kibum couldn’t ignore the way Taemin’s prying eyes shifted between him and Jonghyun. 

He kept catching Taemin looking at him anytime he said something to Jonghyun. The looks were starting to make him feel uncomfortable and he shifted in his seat a few times.

He had thought that he and Jonghyun acted pretty normal in front of others, so he wasn’t sure why he was analyzing them.

“Taemin what is it?” Kibum asked, trying to sound playful and not agitated.

“Nothing, nothing.” He said trying to avoid eye contact.

“It’s clearly something. What’s wrong? You're looking at me like I have three heads.”

“Well…,” Taemin started. All eyes on him now, Jinki glaring at him.

“…actually can I say something-“

“Yah! Taemin, no!” Jinki said cutting Taemin off.

“Here we go.” Minho said, rolling his eyes.

“Hyung!” Taemin whined.

“No.” Jinki said.

“Come on, Hyung! It’s been bugging me for a while and you implanted these ideas in my head!”

“Taemin, no.” Jinki said firmly.

Kibum and Jonghyun shared a look between each other, thrown off by this weird interaction in front of them.

“I’m going to say it. It’s driving me crazy!” Taemin said, dramatically pulling at his hair. “Are you two together or something? I guess you guys seem a lot closer than usual. You're not together or anything are you? Jinki said you are! But I said no way! I’ve known you guys for forever! Jinki said I’m blind but I don’t believe him. He’s crazy right?” Taemin said in one breath.

Jinki sighed as he glared at Taemin, while Minho threw his face in his hands to try to save himself from witnessing the second hand embarrassment.

The accused sat stiff and were shocked by Taemin's accusation.

Jonghyun turned his head to look at Kibum to say something, allowing him to take the lead in this discussion. 

Well the jig was up. Their cover was obviously blown. Jonghyun didn’t see the use in hiding it anymore. Jonghyun thought that maybe now was their time. Now they could tell them and they could act comfortably and be themselves around their friends now. No more hiding!

Jonghyun’s heart started beating fast as he looked at Kibum, waiting for his answer.

Kibum looked back at him with a stunned expression. 

“Right?” Taemin egged on, his face turning into a look of horror.

Jonghyun just shrugged at Kibum. He was perfectly fine with telling the truth. He wanted the truth out there. Kibum was his, and he was Kibum’s.

 

Kibum sat still, fidgeting with his fingers. The intense atmosphere made him feel like he had to answer.

“I mean…k-kind of?” Kibum finally said. He didn’t really have a reason to lie now did he? 

But Jonghyun looked at with an eyebrow raised, not really satisfied with his answer.

“I knew it!” Jinki said.

Minho’s big eyes grew larger and Taemin’s mouth fell open.

“But-but-since when? You and Dongwoon just ended your engagement like-what? Two months ago? Did you two hookup right after? I mean you just ended a relationship. That was fast.” Taemin pointed out. 

“For s sakes Taemin! Stop talking!” Jinki hissed.

Jonghyun cringed a bit at Taemin’s wording. Although true, Jonghyun hadn’t really thought about how fast they had gotten together. It just happened. They went from being friends to sleeping in the same bed almost every night.

“Taemin, you really have a way with words.” Minho deadpanned.

“How long have you guys been together?” Taemin asked in awe.

“I mean we aren’t really like…seriously together- we’re not dating or anything like that…just umm….” Kibum started, but immediately cut himself off when Jonghyun nearly gave himself whiplash at the way he turned to look at him when these words left his lips. 

Kibum wasn’t ready, he still wanted to hide.

“I m-mean-“ Kibum started to stumble over his words when he saw how visibly uncomfortable Jonghyun looked with every few passing seconds.

Kibum didn’t know what possessed him to answer that question so urgently and in that way. It sounded harsher than he intended. 

“Yea, I guess we aren’t.” Jonghyun confirmed. 

 

Oh, how Kibum wanted to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. The table went completely silent. The guilt Kibum felt when Jonghyun wordlessly got up from the table and left overwhelmed him. Kibum buried his face into his hands.

“This is why I said keep it between us.” Jinki said with a finger gesturing between Minho and himself.

“Hyung…sorry…about that…I was just surprised…” Taemin admitted

“Well, curiosity killed the cat…” Minho said under his breath.

“What would be so wrong with the idea of us being together anyway!?” Kibum snapped.

“N-nothing! I just thought-I didn’t think-well I’ve only seen you guys as friends! I was just…surprised.” Taemin said quickly, trying to defend himself.

“Why are you all even gossiping about my love life?” Kibum said, raising his voice.

“Kibum, it’s not like that.” Minho said.

“We were just worried after your engagement ended…you were always with Jonghyun and we knew how close you two were…but you guys started to act differently, you know?  It was hard not to notice.” Jinki said calmly.

It was hard not to notice? Kibum had thought they did a great job of keeping up their little facade. Clearly they needed to take acting classes.

“Maybe you should go talk to Jonghyun Hyung…” Minho interjected.

Kibum jumped up and  rolled his eyes and smacked his teeth from annoyance at how Minho made a good point.

“I was going to!” Kibum snapped before marching off to chase Jonghyun down.

 

The two remaining older friends glared at Taemin.

“W-what?! I didn’t think you guys were serious!” He said, holding his hands up in defense. 

“You're really oblivious, you know that?” Minho said, giving him an irritated look.

“Let’s not bring it up again. They obviously have some…issues…to work out.” Jinki pointed out.

“Well I’m glad they at least realized their feelings…somewhat.” Minho said.

“Yea, finally. It felt like a years of torture watching them.” Jinki sighed.

 

                                     ——

 

It didn’t take long for Kibum to track him down. He walked further down the street and Kibum eventually caught up to him.

“Jonghyun!” Kibum called. Said man looked at him and then turned off into a different direction.

“Hey! Jonghyun!” Kibum called angrily. He didn’t like being ignored. Who did?

“Yah! Kim Jonghyun!” Kibum said after he finally caught up to him and yanked his shoulder to catch his attention.

“Kibum, I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Jonghyun said, his voice void of emotion.

“Don’t do this Jjong. Talk to me.” Kibum said standing in his path.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I-I just didn’t know how to say it.” 

“I understood you perfectly.”

“Jjong come on! W-well you didn’t say anything!”

Jonghyun gave him a cold look.

“I didn’t think I had to! I thought maybe…maybe you would claim us…” Jonghyun said.

“I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted.” 

“No, you're just not sure if that’s what you wanted.”

“We haven’t even talked about this.”

They hadn’t talked about any of the logistics of anything if they were being honest.

“I just felt like a dirty secret.”

“But you’re not.”

The two stood silently for a bit ignoring the strange looks some strangers were giving them. They were in their own world for a moment. 

Jonghyun rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. 

“Come back to my place. We can talk about it.” Kibum said, desperation in his voice.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Jjong, I’m sorry-I just-“ 

“Kibum, just wait.” He said cutting him off instantly. His voice firm. Kibum’s mouth snapped shut. Jonghyun hardly ever overexerted himself when it came to his emotions. He was usually mellow or level headed. He could be snappy, sure. Especially when he had a hard time getting his thoughts and opinions across. But hardly was he ever angry. So he was trying to calm himself before he even got to that point.

“Maybe I’m overthinking about what happened.” He said. 

Kibum nodded.

“But I need some time to think about this…about whatever this is.” 

“I-okay.” Kibum said with a shaky voice. He was willing himself not to cry. He didn’t want Jonghyun to feel like he had to comfort him when he was the one that hurt him.

“Just give me a day or something.” He said.

 

                                      ***

 

Jonghyun couldn’t think with Kibum under him. He wouldn’t have been able to think clearly or make judgements if he were to continue to act like nothing happened. He would fall back under his love sick trance again the moment their lips touch. And that’s not what he needed at this time. After what Taemin said he realized he was living life blissfully unaware that maybe that was all a game for Kibum. 

He asked Kibum to give him a day, but that day turned into nearly a week. A part of him worried and felt a bit anxious being away from him so long after an argument like that. What if Kibum changed his mind and didn’t want him back after this? What if he pushed him away? But a part of him realized he couldn’t even be around him still. He needed to stand his ground.

He was angry. Upset. Embarrassed.

And the moment he heard his voice on the phone he could almost feel his resolve slipping away. Because all he wanted to do was hold him in his arms. So he knew he still needed time to think. 

It had been routine for nearly two months to sleep next to him in the bed whether it was his bed or Kibum’s. But this past week he was alone, and the bed felt a bit cold without Kibum there. But it gave him all the time in the world to think.

The more Jonghyun thought about it the more he thought that maybe he was a rebound. Maybe he was at the ‘right place and right time’ for Kibum. Maybe he just needed someone to lean on when he was going through tough times. Kibum’s fiancée wasn’t giving him the attention he needed and Jonghyun always gave it to him unconditionally.

Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe Kibum didn’t feel the same way he did like he thought. 

He could never keep a relationship long enough for it to be anything, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, that the one person that stuck around with him his entire life was the person he was truly meant to be with. 

But then again, they never stated what they were. So how could he set such high expectations for him when they hadn’t even set the standard yet?

So how did he have the right to be so upset at his response?

But Kibum made it sound so casual. Just casual . As if they didn’t share a deeper connection. His feelings were hurt.

Then again Kibum said he didn’t feel comfortable sharing that information either. If they were honest neither of the two didn’t really need to be in any kind of relationship right now anyway.

But he also never pushed the discussion of what they were doing either. Kibum didn’t say anything so he didn’t say anything. What if he were to try to talk about it before? Would Kibum have dismissed him? Would he have ruined the illusion the two created? Maybe there was a part of him that was afraid Kibum would reject him if he tried to push the relationship further.

He tried to take in consideration both he and Kibum’s feelings and thought process. Which made it all the more confusing for him.

So maybe being alone with his thoughts wasn’t as progressive as he thought it was. If  anything needed to be settled between them they needed to talk.

 

Kibum on the other hand was worried about ruining whatever they had between them. He messed up again. He always messed up. He could never keep anyone happy. He always disappointed people.

He didn’t know how to respond when Taemin asked that question. He and Jonghyun were together, right? Was it serious? It felt like it, but was it really? How serious could they be if they didn’t discuss how their relationship would move forward?

Should there even be a relationship right now? Even if they called off whatever they had, would they even be able to just be friends afterwards? Would that be possible? 

He thought he would be spending another evening alone crying to himself when he received a call asking him to come over. Jonghyun finally wanted to talk. They had spent the last week away from each other giving each other space but still calling each other and texting here and there to check up on one another. They couldn’t help it. They cared for one another.

 

So the two had to have remarkable strength not to throw themselves into each other's arms immediately after laying eyes on each other. 

They sat side by side with some distance between them on the couch. Neither of the two knew how to start the conversation. Kibum was afraid to offend him and Jonghyun didn’t like talking about his feelings. Jonghyun was sitting faced forward, his arms crossed as he looked down towards his lap. His face was completely serious. Kibum fidgeted in his spot as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt and chewed at his bottom lip as he eyed Jonghyun. He decided he would take the leap here.

“How have you been?” Kibum asked softly.

“…Fine.” Jonghyun said, still not throwing him a glance.

“I’ve missed you.” Kibum said. He wanted to reach out and lay a hand on his knee but quickly landed it on the cushion that he was sitting on instead.

Jonghyun sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a moment before blinking them open again.

“I missed you too.” He said. He didn’t sound too convincing but when he slowly turned to look at him, a look of longing in them, Kibum knew he meant it. But he also looked restless and tired.

 

“Jjong, please talk to me.” 

Of course. That’s why he called him over.

“Alright.” Jonghyun said, giving Kibum the go ahead to kickstart the conversation.

“Jonghyun, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it like that-about what I said about us. Taemin really just caught me off guard.” Kibum said. He decided to try his luck. He wanted to have some physical contact with him whether it was him holding his hand or putting a hand on his thigh. So he tried just that, but Jonghyun brushed him off. Kibum’s heart sank.

“I mean you’re right. We aren’t together.” Jonghyun said coldly.

“We-we just never talked about it.” Kibum reiterated.

“And why is that?” Jonghyun asked snarkily.

“I-I don’t know…” Kibum stuttered.

“You do know.”

“You never brought it up either. Neither of us did.” 

Jonghyun chuckled and rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure why he was becoming so agitated so quickly. He felt like Kibum was dodging his question, even if he made a good point.

“Alright then. Let's discuss. Let’s put a label on it then? Friends with benefits right?” Jonghyun said.

Kibum didn’t like the sound of that at all. It didn’t sound like anything that they were doing. Their connection was much deeper than that.

“I you and you me, and let’s go on about our day.”

“Jonghyun, what the hell?!” Kibum said, shocked by his response. 

“We’re not together right? Friends with benefits.”

“I didn’t agree to that. That’s not what we are!” Kibum said, getting frustrated.

“Then what are we Kibum? Enlighten me. Because I’ve been trying to figure it out for the past couple of days!” Jonghyun said, feeling his anger bubble. He stood up to pace back and forth a bit and control his breathing. 

Kibum looked at him confused and in shock because he realized he had never experienced this side of Jonghyun before. He wasn’t even sure how to comfort him like this.

Jonghyun stopped pacing for a moment to look down at Kibum with a cold look. 

“I was just a rebound wasn’t I?”

“What? No! Of course not!” Kibum said jumping up to be eye level with him.

“You slept with me almost as soon as you two were over! You used me.”

“Jjong, come on? I didn’t use you! You don’t believe that lie you made up, do you?”

“You kissed me the first time just because he wasn’t there!”

“Jonghyun, no!”

“Then why did you sleep with me?”

“I-I don’t know! I just-I wanted to!” Kibum fumbled over his words. Jonghyun was throwing accusations at him and he didn't handle being under pressure like this.

“It explains everything. No wonder we never defined what we were. You never wanted us to be a ‘thing’. You just wanted something like a relationship without the pressure of getting married right?” Jonghyun said touching dangerous territory.

“Jjong, stop…” Kibum said with teary eyes. “That’s not true.”

“When you were done with me, what were you going to do, Kibum? Everytime you got into a relationship I was put on the back burner. You always got jealous when I was with someone but when you have me you don’t claim me, it’s all a secret. You always mended our friendship when you wanted to. When you weren’t busy. When you had free time.”

 

Jonghyun was starting to get emotional. His vision was getting blurry with tears. It wasn’t often he got like this. He was usually composed. But he didn’t like the situation he was in. He felt used and like he was being abandoned.

 

“What were you going to do with me when you were done, huh? Leave? Leave like my mom did when you were done with me?!” Jonghyun yelled. 

Kibum was taken aback. He stood still with his mouth agape and his eyes wide open. Jonghyun started furiously wiping away the tears that he had so desperately tried to keep locked away. Kibum never saw Jonghyun this upset. He could count on one hand how many times he had seen Jonghyun cry. He always kept his emotions at bay. And he  never mentioned his mother anymore.

He stood there feeling stupid at not knowing how to comfort the man he saw as more than a friend. He had never seen him break like this.

Jonghyun continued to pace back and forth, unable to handle losing his composure like this, especially in front of Kibum.

Kibum was starting to understand that Jonghyun felt like he was going to leave him and walk out of his life.

“Jjong…” He called softly to get his attention. Said man stood still, refusing to look at him.

“I know I haven't been the greatest friend and or the best lover. And I’m sorry for that…” He said, walking towards him slowly. 

“I wish there were some things from the past that I could change with the way I treated you. You’ve always been so good to me. And there were times I didn’t appreciate you like I should have.” He admitted.

“You’ve always been so patient with me. You’ve always treated me with respect and you’ve been there with me through everything.” He, himself, was starting to feel emotional.

He took small timid steps until he stood in front of him. He coaxed Jonghyun into looking into his eyes as he spoke. His hands reached out towards his face.

Kibum’s slow approach and soft voice allowed Jonghyun to let Kibum wipe away his tears.

“You are such a patient and caring person. You take the time to understand others even if they don’t understand you. You always give even when people don’t give back. I don’t think I deserve someone like you.” He said.

“I was scared. I was scared that I would lose you if we…made this real. I always make my partners unhappy. I didn’t want to do that to you too. But I was so worried about myself I didn’t even realize what I was doing to you. I didn’t mean to scare you too. I would never walk out on you like that like she did. I wouldn’t do that to you because…”

He looked deeply into Jonghyun’s teary eyes before he spoke his next words as he continuously wiped away Jonghyun’s tears with his thumbs as he held his face in his hands. 

“I love you.”

Jonghyun froze, not believing anything he had just heard.

“I love you, I really do.” Kibum said suddenly feeling light at his confession. 

 “Jonghyun, I’ve loved you for such a long time. I think…I always have.”

Kibum didn’t know when he truly realized this, all he knew was that he had loved him for a long time. A very long time. It was a feeling that he didn’t know how to describe until now.

Jonghyun had calmed down significantly but couldn’t immediately respond to what had just been said to him. He wasn’t sure if he could believe it.

Kibum felt a little nervous at his delayed response, maybe he didn’t feel the same? 

His hands slowly slid down from his face and lingered on his chest. He was going to pull away fully but Jonghyun grabbed his wrists to keep him in place.

“You mean that?” Jonghyun asked. Kibum tried not to get lost in his round dark eyes.

“I do.”

“You’re not lying?”

“I swear.”

Jonghyun searched his face to look for any form of lies or deceit. He wanted to think that Kibum said just this to calm him down to protect his heart. But even if he didn’t know everything about Kibum, the one thing he did know is that he would never lie to him about something like this.

“Promise?” He asked in a small voice with big eyes.

Kibum smiled. “I promise.” 

Jonghyun smiled, because they always took their promises seriously.

Kibum pulled him in for a kiss. A long awaited kiss.It had been too long  since they last laid hands on each other.

“Don’t you want to hear my confession too?” Jonghyun said when they pulled only an inch away (because Kibum refused to let go any further).

 

“You miss me being the big spoon?” Kibum said with a mischievous look.

A real genuine smile appeared on Jonghyun’s face. A look he had been waiting to see.

“Although true, it’s not really what I want to say right now.”

The atmosphere was light but became heavy with a longing and yearning. They wanted to be swept up within each other fully. And never let go. Jonghyun had such an endearing look in his eye and made Kibum feel warm. They kissed one more time before Jonghyun revealed his long awaited secret.

 

“I love you too, Kibum."
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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