III

 

"So, Ms. Son, how was it working with the CEO?" Seulgi started the conversation with amused curiosity.

 

"Oh, please, Seulgi bujangnim. You can just call me Seungwan." Seungwan answered, glancing at her passenger.

 

"Well in that case, just call me Seulgi instead."

 

"Oh, no, bujangnim. You're also my boss so that would be inappropriate."

 

"Then just call me that when we're at the company. But outside, like this, just Seulgi is good."

 

"W-well, I don't know, bujangnim."

 

"It's fine, Seungwan. You know Yerim, right?" Seulgi chuckles. "She would only call me and Joohyun eonnie formally when we're at the office. But outside, we're like her subordinates instead."

 

Seungwan gave a small laugh, imagining it. "You must be pretty close."

 

"Yeah. We worked together at the same company for five years, so.."

 

Seungwan nods. "That's cool."

 

Seulgi hums. "So it's alright if you just drop the formalities outside the office. I'm not really comfortable with the formalities after all."

 

"Oh, uhm, o-okay, Seulgi-ssi."

 

Seulgi laughs. "Do you prefer me to call you Seungwan-ssi too, then?"

 

Seungwan shakes her head dismissively. "Ah, no, no, bujang- uh, Seulgi-ssi. Seungwan is okay."

 

"Then just call me Seulgi too. Deal?"

 

Though still reluctant, Seungwan smiled and nodded. "Alright, Seulgi."

 

Seulgi returned the smile, giving a thumbs up. "That's better. So, as for my question earlier, how was working with Joohyun eonnie? Was she giving you a hard time?"

 

"No." Seungwan answered immediately. "Work has been busy these past weeks but I understand. Everyone in the company has been working hard too."

 

"Well, that's a positive way to look at it."

 

"Oh, and by the way, Seulgi-ss-" 

 

Seulgi squints her eyes at her.

 

"I- I mean, Seulgi." Seungwan gave a small laugh. "I want to thank you for the advice last time. You know, when you called me two weeks ago over the phone."

 

"Ahh, that. When I told you Joohyun eonnie asked you back in the office?"

 

"Hello, Seungwan-ssi?"

 

"Uh, yes, speaking."

 

"This is Seulgi. From HW Entertainment."

 

"O-oh? Oh! Ms. Kang?"

 

"Yes, yes. It's me."

 

"Oh, uhm, good evening, Ms. Kang. What can I do for you? Is- is, uhm, is the CEO alright?"

 

"Uh, yeah, I guess? Well, she told me about you."

 

"Oh."

 

"And uh, I know who you are now."

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Kang. I'm sorry for lying yesterday-"

 

"Well, technically, you didn't. You just didn't tell me that specific detail."

 

"I apologize."

 

"Hey, there's nothing to apologize for. I mean, I understand that it's a personal matter."

 

"Y-yes. Thank you, Ms. Kang."

 

"So, Joohyun eonnie told me about what happened earlier at the office. And that she fired you."

 

"Uh, y-yes."

 

"Well, I actually called to inform you that Joohyun eonnie asked you back. To be her secretary, I mean."

 

"W-what? Really, Ms. Kang?"

 

"Yes. But, Seungwan-ssi?"

 

"Yes, Ms. Kang?"

 

"Well, not that I'm killing your moment but.. I don't think it's something you should be excited about. Uh, you see, Joohyun eonnie is still mad, like mad, at you."

 

"O-oh."

 

"Yes. So, you understand what I'm trying to say here, right? Like why Joohyun eonnie wants to hire you back?"

 

"Uhm, y-yes, Ms. Kang. I think I understand."

 

"Okay, good. So I suggest that you don't take the job back. I don't have anything against you, Seungwan-ssi. What happened in the past was between you both. But I care about Joohyun eonnie. And I don't want her to be someone she's not just because of her anger towards you."

 

"I.. I understand your concern, Ms. Kang."

 

"Thank you, Seungwan-ssi."

 

"Uhm.. Ms. Kang?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"W-what if I want to continue working for her?"

 

*Sigh* "Well, then I guess I have no choice. After all, she's the CEO."

 

"I.. I'll stay, Ms. Kang. I'll work as her secretary."

 

"Well, okay. Alright. I guess I'll just be watching you then."

 

"U-uh, yes, Ms. Kang. You can do that."

 

"Hm. And oh, a piece of advice, Seungwan-ssi."

 

"Yes, Ms. Kang?"

 

"Give Joohyun eonnie some time. I know you probably want to talk to her about your past but, I think it's not yet the right time for that. You'll be in the company as her secretary, not as her ex-girlfriend."

 

"Uh, yes, Ms. Kang. You're right. I understand."

 

"Okay. Then I guess that's clear."

 

"Yes, Ms. Kang. Thank you."

 

Seungwan nods. "I realized you were right. I shouldn't have approached her that way. I should have understood where she's coming from. I mean, if I were in her shoes, of course I'd be mad too if I suddenly saw that one person who hurt me." She heaved a sigh. "I guess my fear just got the best of me that time."

 

Seulgi turned to her. "Fear? Of what?"

 

"Well, I'm.." Seungwan's gripped on the steering wheel tightened. "For five years, I've been hoping and wanting to see her again. It even came to a point when I almost lost hope, until I saw her on that TV news. It was as if I had a purpose in living again. So I applied as her secretary because that's the only way I can think of to be near her again. And when I finally got to see her again, my emotions got the best of me. I was.. I was so afraid that if I leave the office, I won't see her again, that I'll lose her again."

 

"You want her back." It's not a question, but a statement.

 

"I won't lie, Seulgi. Yes, I want her back." Seungwan turned to her, being mindful of her driving. "But after I saw her again, after I realized how much I hurt her and how she was still hurting, I just.." Seungwan bit her lip. "I want her back, I really do. But if she doesn't want to take me anymore, I will respect that. I just, I want to take all her pain away. I want her to be whole again."

 

"You still love her." Again, a statement.

 

Seungwan has a sad smile on her face. "I never stopped."

 

Seulgi nods. "And that girl whom Joohyun eonnie caught you with?"

 

"She was just a friend to me." Seungwan answers without hesitation. "And I know it seems unbelievable but I really don't know what happened that time. We decided to meet at the hotel I'm working at just to have dinner. That's the last thing I remember. And when I woke up, I was already in that hotel room and Joohyun sajangnim was standing there, shocked and.. hurt.

 

"So, you really didn't know what happened?"

 

"I don't. I know it's hard to believe. And I know it doesn't guarantee that nothing happened, because for all I know, something might have really happened that night. But I never, and will never intend to do that."

 

"Joohyun eonnie was really hurt."

 

"I know. It's all my fault. I should have listened to her the first time. And I shouldn't have lied to her."

 

Seulgi heaved a sigh. "Well, I guess we couldn't do anything about that now. But I hope that at least you would be able to take her pain away, just like what you've said."

 

"I'll do the best that I can, Seulgi."

 

Seulgi nods in response.

 

It was almost 8pm when the meeting with the investors ended. Before going back, Seulgi offered that they have dinner first. 

 

"So, the meeting turned out alright?" Seungwan asked in the middle of dinner.

 

Seulgi grins. "Sealed the deal."

 

Seungwan claps. "Oh my gosh, congratulations!"

 

"Thanks, Seungwan-ah."

 

"Joohyun sajangnim will be happy to hear the good news."

 

Seulgi let out a satisfied smile. "I'm just glad that so far, everything goes as planned."

 

"Well, you two are really good. And I'm also glad that you decided to start your own company here. Not just for my own greed," Seungwan chuckles shyly at that. "-but also because it would help our country."

 

"Yeah." Seulgi nods. "I think one of the things Joohyun eonnie and I agreed on is that nothing beats being in your home country. Yerim thinks so too, that's why she came with us." She laughs. "But yeah. And I think you know that feeling too. I mean, I remembered in your interview that you lived in America too for some time, right?"

 

"Yeah." Seungwan bobs her head. "So, I related to that too."

 

"Oh, that reminds me. When did you live in America?" Seulgi asked curiously. "Because I remember Joohyun eonnie telling me that you two have been together all your lives, well, except after the break up, of course."

 

"Ah, yes." Seungwan nods, albeit sadly at the reminder. "That's- that's right."

 

"Wait." Something seemed to click on Seulgi's mind. "Did you go to America too after your break up?"

 

"Uh, w-well.."

 

The sudden ringing of Seulgi's phone interrupted Seungwan.

 

"Oh, hold on." Seulgi answered the phone. "Hi, eonnie!- I bagged the deal, of course."- "Why, thank you, eonnie." *Laughs.* "We're actually having dinner right now."- "Yes. We're driving back to Seoul after this."- "What? Of course we'll go back tonight too."- "Yeah, I know."- "What?"- "Oh, okay. Aren't you sweet, eonnie?"- *laughs* "Okay, okay. We'll be going home now. Bye."

 

"Uh, was that Joohyun sajangnim?" Seungwan asked after Seulgi dropped the call.

 

"Yeah. So nagging." Seulgi laughs. "But I'm afraid we have to leave now. Joohyun eonnie said she'll kill us if we fail to report to the office tomorrow on time."

 

Seungwan gave a small smile. "Oh, okay then."

 

During the drive back, the car stopped near an intersection which happened to be in front of a restobar. The music inside can be heard from their car and Seungwan couldn't help but hum with the music. She might not be able to sing anymore, but music still gives her the same amount of comfort. 

 

Seulgi, who noticed Seungwan's sudden happy disposition, smiled as well.

 

"Seungwan?" Seulgi started as they drove off once again.

 

Seungwan managed a quick glance at her. "Yes?"

 

"Can I ask something personal? Well, I know what we talked about earlier was already personal but it has something to do with Joohyun eonnie so, that's not totally personal at all." Seulgi chuckles, albeit awkwardly. "I mean, can I ask something about you?"

 

"Oh? Sure, go ahead."

 

"You said in your interview that you can't sing anymore because your voice won't come out." Seulgi started cautiously. "What do you mean by that?"

 

"Ah, that." Seungwan bobs her head. "Well, that time I went to a vocal coach for help. I was hoping that despite the vocal nodules, I would be able to sing again. But even after almost five sessions with my coach, I don't know why, but I can't seem to find the right voice when I sing. The voice that I want, that I need, it just won't come out of my throat."

 

"Well, what did your coach say?"

 

"Hm, she advised me to see a Psychiatrist actually. Because she thought it's from trauma." Seungwan answered. "But I hadn't been able to see a Psychiatrist then."

 

"Trauma? Why? Were you in an accident?"

 

"Well, I was once, when I was six. But I was already healed from that so my vocal coach was not sure why something similar to it happened again."

 

"Something similar?" Seulgi questioned, curious. Joohyun would only talk about Seungwan when she was drunk, and even then, Joohyun wouldn't tell much. So Seulgi's knowledge about their past stories and relationship was limited. "What do you mean?"

 

"Uhm.. I did say that I was in an accident when I was six, right?"

 

Seulgi nods.

 

"My parents died from that accident. I was the only survivor."

 

"Oh, no." There was worry in Seulgi's voice. "I'm sorry, Seungwan-ah."

 

Seungwan laughs it off. "No need to be, Seulgi-yah. That was a long time ago and I think I already moved on from that." She reassured Seulgi with a smile. "But yeah, when I woke up at the hospital, my voice wouldn't come out. Like, I really couldn't talk at all. To be exact, I was a mute for nearly two years."

 

This surprised Seulgi. "Oh, I didn't know. I'm sor-"

 

"Eh, no need to apologize." Seungwan cut her off. "It's alright. Besides, I can talk now." She grins. "See?"

 

Seulgi couldn't help but smile at this. "How did you learn to talk again then, that time?"

 

"Well, it just came out."

 

"Like, suddenly?"

 

"Uh, well yeah. I guess."

 

"Really?" Seulgi grew curious. "How?"

 

"How?" Seungwan questioned herself. She thought of that particular moment and a sad smile was seen on her face as she realized the answer. "I guess my voice came out because I was afraid that a very special person would be taken away from me." 

--

An eight year old Seungwan was in tears as she watched Joohyun stuffed her clothes inside a duffel bag. Joohyun told her that she would finally be adopted into a family. Seungwan was not sure she understood what that meant but when the eleven year old Joohyun told her that a couple would pick her up tomorrow and that she would start living with them instead of the orphanage, that's when Seungwan understood that Joohyun is leaving her.

 

Joohyun sighs as Seungwan starts sobbing. She stopped packing and went over to the younger girl. 

 

"Wannie, please don't look at me like that." Joohyun said sadly as she wipe Seungwan's tears. "Please don't cry."

 

Nearly two years after being brought to the orphanage, Seungwan still can't talk. But it was a relief for them that Seungwan already learned the alphabet. So Mother Superior, with help from Joohyun, focused on developing Seungwan's reading and writing so that at least, Seungwan would be able to communicate with them. 

 

Seungwan gets her notepad and pen. She wrote, Am I a bad girl, Hyunnie?

 

"No. Of course not." Joohyun was quick to answer. 

 

Seungwan wrote another. Then, do you hate me?

 

"What? No, no, no." Joohyun wipes the tears once more. "I don't hate you. Why would you think that?"

 

Then why are you leaving me?

 

Joohyun could feel her own tears when she read this. She hugged Seungwan tight.

 

"I don't hate you, okay? I can never."

 

When Joohyun lets go of the hug, Seungwan shows the paper to her once more, asking her why she is leaving.

 

Joohyun held both of Seungwan's hand. "Do you remember when I told you that I want to have a family?"

 

Seungwan nods.

 

"It will finally come true, Wannie." Joohyun said, tearing up. "Someone finally wanted me."

 

At this, Seungwan frowns and immediately writes on her pad. 

 

I want you too, Hyunnie.

 

Joohyun teared up more while reading that. She smiled as she caressed Seungwan's tear-stained cheeks.

 

"I know. I know, Wannie. But you see, it's.. different." Joohyun paused to think of the right explanation. "I've always wanted to have a father and a mother. And now, that will finally happen."

 

Can't you take me too?

 

"I want to, Wannie. God believe me, I wanted to." Joohyun squeezed Seungwan's hands. "B-but the Kims could only afford to adopt one kid."

 

At her answer, Seungwan sobbed once more.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Wannie. Please don't cry." Joohyun wipes Seungwan's non-stop tears. "Do you want me to be happy?"

 

This stopped Seungwan's crying. She stared for a while at Joohyun before writing on her pad again.

 

Is Hyunnie happy?

 

Joohyun hesitated. But she knows that this is what she has always wanted. After a while, she nods. "Y-yes."

 

Seungwan's eyes were still b with tears but she held it in and tried not to let more tears fall. Instead, she squeezed Joohyun's hands back and nodded her head.

 

The day of Joohyun's departure though, Seungwan locked herself in the treehouse where she and Joohyun used to play, because even in her young mind, she knew she couldn't watch Joohyun leaving. So as soon as she woke up, she ran towards the treehouse and wouldn't leave. It was easy for Joohyun to find her though. But Seungwan won't open the door.

 

"Wannie, open the door, please. The Kims are here. I have to leave."

 

From inside the treehouse, Seungwan could only muffle her cry. 

 

"Seungwannie, I'm worried. Please." Joohyun was crying now too. "If you don't want to open the door, then it's okay. But please answer me? I need to know that you're okay there."

 

Still, Seungwan didn't make any sound other than her sobs.

 

"Wannie, please."

 

Hearing Joohyun's continuous pleading, Seungwan gave in. She taps the door once to indicate that she heard Joohyun and that she's okay.

 

Joohyun heaved a sigh of relief. "Wannie, listen. I have something important to ask. And I need you to answer me, okay?"

 

Again, Seungwan taps the door as an answer.

 

"Okay, so.." Joohyun took a deep breath. "I- I've been thinking a lot since yesterday and I.. I'm still confused. I don't know what to do, Seungwannie. Will you help me decide?"

 

Seungwan was still crying but Joohyun's words made her curious. She taps the door.

 

"Wannie.." Joohyun started, her voice nervous and hesitant. "Do you think I should go? I mean.. Do you want me to go?"

 

Seungwan's crying stopped. What was her Hyunnie actually asking her?

 

"Well.. I know I told you that this was my dream." Joohyun continued. "B-but, I don't know why I'm hesitating now. So I figured that.. that if you tell me not to go, then I won't go."

 

When Seungwan heard that, she almost opened the door in an instant and hugged Joohyun tight. But her conversation with Joohyun yesterday flashed through her mind. Joohyun said she's happy. She was happy about this adoption thing, that it was her dream. But why was Joohyun suddenly having second thoughts? 

 

Seungwan thought that it was because of her. Because she was being a crybaby, she was giving Joohyun a hard time. And now, Joohyun couldn't even do what she wanted because of her.

 

Seungwan started crying again. 

 

"Wannie?" Joohyun called as she heard Seungwan's cry. "It's okay, it's okay. Just tell me what you want, hm? Like earlier, just tap the door once if you want me to stay. Alright? Then tap twice if.. if.. well, if you want me to go."

 

Seungwan wanted Joohyun to stay. Goodness, she doesn't even want to be apart from the latter since that stormy night two years ago when Joohyun cuddled her to sleep.

 

But Seungwan knows this is Joohyun's dream and therefore, she couldn't be selfish.

 

So with a heavy heart and shaky hands, Seungwan taps the door- twice.

 

She heard Joohyun gasp at the other side of the door. 

 

"Wa- Wannie? I'll repeat it okay? Maybe you were confused with my instruction. So, uh, tap once if you want me to stay and-"

 

Once again, Seungwan taps the door twice, cutting Joohyun off.

 

"O-oh." Joohyun, too, was already crying. "I see." She wipes her tears. "T-then, c-can I.. can I at least hug you before I leave?"

 

Joohyun waited. But Seungwan didn't open the door. The younger girl was crying so much she couldn't even move or make any noise other than crying.

 

Accepting that Seungwan wouldn't open the door, Joohyun relented. "Seungwannie? I'll go now. I promise I will always visit you, okay?"

 

Seungwan finally had the courage to tap the door once. 

 

Knowing that she was heard, Joohyun left.

 

A few minutes after Joohyun left, Seungwan heard a knock again, this time, accompanied by Mother Superior's voice. 

 

"Seungwan? May I come in?"

 

Seungwan opened the door immediately and threw herself into Mother Superior's arms, crying nonstop. 

 

"Oh, my dear child." Mother Superior hugs her tight, rubbing her back.

 

Mother Superior waited patiently until Seungwan's cry was reduced to soft sobs.

 

"Are you feeling better now?"

 

Seungwan shakes her head, rubbing her eyes.

 

Mother Superior smiled kindly at her. "Then, do you want me to tell you a story?"

 

Seungwan really doesn't want to, not at this time. But Mother Superior was looking at her softly, so Seungwan just nodded her head.

 

Mother Superior pats her head gently. "Eleven years ago, I was praying at the altar when I heard a cry coming from the front door. So I went to check and when I opened the door, I saw this cute, tiny baby wrapped up in thick blankets. She was left alone on the floor just outside the orphanage. We waited for weeks, hoping that whoever left her would come back for her. But no one came. So we took her in and raised her here."

 

The story seemed interesting to Seungwan that she stopped crying for a moment. 

 

"Maybe it was because she thinks she was abandoned at birth, so she builds this wall on herself and acts as a cold kid towards others when in fact, she was one of the sweetest girls I know." 

 

Seungwan's eyes furrowed and she got the notebook lying beside her. She writes, she sounds like Hyunnie.

 

Mother Superior nods, smiling. "That's right. I'm talking about your Joohyun eonnie."

 

Seungwan couldn't help but smile at the mention of the older girl's name. She looked up to Mother Superior, wanting to hear the continuation of the story. 

 

Knowing what the little girl wants, Mother Superior continued on. "She grew up thinking that her parents never wanted her. I guess that was why ever since, she told herself that she doesn't need anybody else. But the truth is, she always longed to be wanted. She has always dreamed of being in a family. And then finally, three years ago, her prayers had been answered."

 

Seungwan continued to listen with curiosity.

 

"A year before you came, we met the Kims. They are a childless couple who are longing for a daughter. They came here and when they met Joohyun, they were charmed by her."

 

Seungwan smiled widely. She doesn't know what 'charmed' means but it sounds like they liked Joohyun and Seungwan was happy to hear that.

 

"They decided to adopt her, but adoption is a long process so Joohyun had to wait. But she was happy. I think that was the very first time I saw her that happy. Whenever the two of us talked, all she did was talk about the Kims and how excited she was about the adoption. She was going on and on about it for a year." Mother Superior laughs, making Seungwan follow along.

 

"Then a year later, you came to us." Mother Superior ruffled Seungwan's hair. "And soon, you two became inseparable. Joohyun grew so fond of you that whenever she came to me, all she did was talk about you instead. There were less talks about her upcoming adoption, and more talks about you. Just you."

 

Seungwan looked confused, so she wrote again. What does that mean?

 

Mother Superior smiles kindly. "It means that she likes you."

 

Seungwan beamed at that answer. She immediately writes again. I like Hyunnie too.

 

"I know." Mother Superior pats her head once again. "Do you really want her to go?"

 

Seungwan was suddenly reminded of Joohyun leaving her and her tears instantly came back. She shakes her head.

 

"Then why didn't you tell her that?"

 

Seungwan sniffs as she writes down. I want Hyunnie to be happy. 

 

"Well, what if she's happier here with you?"

 

Seungwan's eyes widened. Did Hyunnie say that?

 

Mother Superior nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yes, she did."

 

Seungwan lets out a small gasp. It was a progress that she had made last year. She still couldn't utter words, but she could already formulate sounds whenever she tried to speak. Seungwan looked frantic. She immediately got off her bed and looked at Mother Superior questioningly and desperately, her arms flailing around.

 

Mother Superior, who seemed to know what Seungwan wanted, held the little girl's shoulder to calm her down. It worked, for Seungwan stopped and looked at Mother Superior.

 

"Joohyun said she'll say goodbye to the other kids first. Maybe you'll be able to stop her if you go now."

 

Seungwan's eyes grew wide and she bobbed her head more than twice before running along. However, when she reached outside, there was no Joohyun. Instead, the other kids were waving towards a white van who just sped off. 

 

"Oh? Seungwan-ah!" The kid Soojung was the one who noticed her first. "Are you looking for Joohyun eonnie?"

 

Seungwan nods her head frantically.

 

"Oh, no. She just left." Soojung answered, pointing towards the white van.

 

Seungwan didn't know what came over her but without thinking, she ran after the white van. She ran and waved both hands in the air, hoping to be seen. She ran and ran until her short legs gave in and she fell to the ground. She tried to stand but the scratches on her knees made it difficult for her. Even with her vision clouded with tears, she could still see the white van getting farther from where she was. 

 

Unable to run back, the only thing she could think of was to call for Joohyun. So, she opened and tried to shout, but only a few sounds came out. She tried again, and again, and again. 

 

No. Seungwan shakes her head in a frenzy. Don't leave me. Don't leave me.

 

"HYUNNIE!"

 

Seungwan didn't even realize that she was already shouting, her voice miraculously back. Instead, she kept on calling for Joohyun.

 

"HYUNNIE! HYUNNIE!"

 

Seungwan was on her knees, crying and calling for Joohyun, when finally, she noticed a very familiar figure running towards her. 

 

"Seungwannie!"

 

Before Seungwan could answer back, she was engulfed in a tight hug. "Oh, Seungwannie."

 

Seungwan cried even more as she felt Joohyun's comforting arms around her.

 

"D-d-don't don't leave me." Seungwan sobbed on Joohyun's shoulder. "I don't w-want you t-to go, Hyunnie. I'm s-sorry. Don't leave me, p-please."

 

Joohyun lets go of the hug as she looks at Seungwan's face. There were tears of joy on her eyes as she caressed Seungwan's cheek.

 

"I'm not imagining it! You could already talk! You did it, Wannie!"

 

That was when Seungwan realized what happened. She gasped and tried doing it once more. "H-Hyunnie."

 

Joohyun cried in glee as she hugged Seungwan once more. "You did it, Wannie! You did it!"

 

Seungwan nods, happy at herself but at the same time, her fear of losing Joohyun was still there. So with a nervous voice, she asked. "W-will you still leave me, Hyunnie?"

 

Joohyun released the hug and looked at Seungwan, a hand on the latter's cheek. "Do you want me to?"

 

This time, Seungwan shakes her head wildy. "No! Please don't leave me, Hyunnie."

 

Joohyun chuckles, pinching Seungwan's nose. "Silly. How can I still leave now that I just heard you say my name? I was dying to hear your voice and now that I finally do, how can I still leave?"

 

Seungwan's eyes seemed to sparkle when she heard that. "You w-won't leave me, Hyunnie?"

 

Once more, Joohyun hugs Seungwan tight. "I won't leave you, Wannie. I promise."

--

"Wow." Seulgi exclaimed softly after Seungwan finished telling her the story. "You and Joohyun eonnie's past is so precious that I can't help but feel sad about what happened five years ago and how it ended."

 

"Yeah." Seungwan answered, more to herself. "Me too."

 

It was close to midnight when they reached Seulgi's apartment. 

 

"Thanks for driving me again, Seungwan-ah."

 

"It's no problem, really." Seungwan answered with a smile. "Uhm, is the company's basement parking still open at this time? Shall I just leave the car there or here?"

 

"Oh. No, no need. Just take it with you tonight then bring it back to the office tomorrow."

 

Seungwan shakes her head. "I can't, Seulgi-yah. This is the company's car and I just can't use it on myself. Maybe I'll just leave it here? Then I'll just pick it up tomorrow."

 

"Just use it, Seungwan. It's already late to take public transport."

 

"No, Seulgi, really, it's fine. I can just-"

 

Seulgi sighs, then chuckles. "Well, because you're being stubborn, I guess I have no choice but to tell you. But please don't tell Joohyun eonnie? She'll kill me."

 

Seungwan was confused. "What do you mean?"

 

"Well, it was her instruction actually." Seulgi answered. "She told me over the phone call earlier that if we would still drive back here tonight, then you should just use the company car on your way home since, in her own words, it's dangerous to take a cab at this hour."

 

"O-oh." Seungwan can feel a smile forming on her lips. She's still worried about me?

 

Seulgi, who seemed to notice Seungwan's reaction, could only chuckle. "Your ex-girlfriend is such a tsundere."

 

Seungwan blushed at that. 

 

**

 

As per usual, Seungwan arrived at the office 20 minutes before Joohyun did. When the CEO arrived, Seungwan greeted her with a bow but like always, Joohyun wouldn't even look her way. Seungwan would always wait for a few minutes before knocking at the CEO's office, just enough for the latter to settle down.

 

"Joohyun sajangnim?" Seungwan knocks at the door. "May I come in?"

 

Joohyun's answer would always be a cold and distant, "Go on."

 

"Good morning, sajangnim." Like a routine, Seungwan walks towards the CEO's desk, a paperbag on her hand. "Here's your breakfast, sajangnim."

 

Seungwan hasn't placed the paper bag on the table yet when Joohyun already cut her off. "Throw it."

 

To say that it didn't hurt Seungwan was a lie. For three weeks now, the same thing has been happening over and over again. Seungwan was hurt, but she knew that Joohyun was being that way only because she was mad and hurt, and herself is the only one to blame.

 

"Won't you learn? You're just wasting food." Joohyun muttered, but still loud enough for Seungwan to hear. 

 

The secretary chose to ignore the comment. Instead, she tried her best to smile. "So, uhm, what should I do for today, sajangnim?"

 

Joohyun handed her a USB. "Summarize all the reports in there."

 

Seungwan nods. "Understood, sajangnim" She bows. "I'll get going now."

 

Seungwan was almost at the door when she heard Joohyun clear , followed by calling her. 

 

"Ms. Son."

 

Seungwan turned to Joohyun, the CEO's eyes fixed on her laptop.

 

"Yes, sajangnim?"

 

"You can take your time with it. I don't need that to be finished ASAP." Joohyun answered without looking away from the computer screen. 

 

"O-oh?" Seungwan admits that she was somehow surprised. That's a first. "O-okay, sajangnim. Thank you."

 

Seungwan went back to her desk and started working. By twelve noon, her phone alarms. CEO's lunch. She closed her laptop and stood, preparing to get Joohyun's lunch at the cafeteria. She had just left her desk when the door to Joohyun's office opened. 

 

"Oh, Joohyun sajangnim? Do you need something?" Since Seungwan started, it was the first time she saw Joohyun leave her office during lunch time.

 

Joohyun spared her a glance. "Lunch. What else?"

 

"Oh." For the second time that day, Seungwan was surprised. "Uhm, I can just get your lunch for you, sajangnim."

 

"No need. I'll eat at the cafeteria."

 

"Oh, okay. Yes, sajangnim."

 

Seungwan had expected that Joohyun would already leave. But Joohyun turned to her, eyes dangerously questioning.

 

"Y-yes, Joohyun sajangnim?"

 

Joohyun raised her brow. "Mrs. Jung said you don't eat at the cafeteria? And that you would prefer bread over rice for lunch?"

 

"Uhm.. W-well.."

 

Joohyun scoffs. "Now everyone would think that I'm overworking you or something. Are you trying to make me the bad guy here?"

 

"W-what? No, no, sajangnim." Seungwan waves her hand, dismissing the accusation. "I just want to finish the work on time. I, I don't intend for it to mean something. I'll just explain it to-"

 

"Don't even bother." Joohyun's cold tone interrupted her. "You'll just make it worse." 

 

Seungwan lowered her head. "Okay, sajangnim."

 

"So what are you still standing there?"

 

Seungwan looks up at the CEO, confused. "Sajangnim? I.. I don't-"

 

"Go and have lunch at the cafeteria. Now."

 

With that, Joohyun walked away leaving a stunned Seungwan.

 

"D-did she just.. indirectly asked me to have lunch with her?" 

 

Seungwan tried not to smile, really.

 

She failed, of course.

 

**

 

"Oh-ho! Look who we have here!" Mrs. Jung beamed at the sight of them. "The workaholic CEO and her equally workaholic secretary."

 

"Hi, ahjumma." Joohyun grins while Seungwan waved back happily at the old woman.

 

"You two will eat here?"

 

It was Joohyun who answered. "Yes."

 

"Oh, finally!" Mrs. Jung exclaimed, making the two girls laugh. "Go on then, choose what food you like and I'll have them served to your seats."

 

Seungwan let Joohyun take the lead and the two ordered their food. After making the order, Seungwan looked at the cafeteria and noticed that there were still some vacant tables. Now, she doesn't know if she should follow Joohyun to her table or sit on a different one, considering that the CEO might not be comfortable if they shared the same table. 

 

"Uhm, sajangnim?"

 

Joohyun, who was walking slightly ahead of her, turned her head slightly. "What?"

 

"May I, uhm, sit with you?" 

 

When Joohyun glared at her, Seungwan was quick to take her words back.

 

"Uh, yes, yes, I understand." Seungwan scratches the side of her head awkwardly. "I'll just take the next table besides-"

 

"Do you really want my employees to think that I'm not treating you right?" Joohyun whispered in gritted teeth. 

 

Now, Seungwan was confused. What does that mean then? Is she saying that is it okay if I sit with her?

 

"Uhm, sajangnim. I- I'll just have to clarify." Seungwan gulps. "Does that mean-"

 

"Yes." Joohyun groans. "Now shut your mouth."

 

"Yes, Ma'am." Seungwan was grinning like crazy inside her head as she took the seat across Joohyun. 

 

A few minutes later, Mrs. Jung came with a tray of food. "Here you go, girls."

 

"Ahjumma, you should have just let your helper do this." Joohyun gave a disapproving sigh.

 

"It's fine. It's not everyday that I get to see you two eat here so I want to make the best of it." 

 

"Okay, fine." Joohyun relented with a smile.

 

"So, here's Bibimbap for you, Seungwan-ah." 

 

"Thank you, ahjumma."

 

"And for you Ms. CEO, here's your favorite Maeuntang."

 

That surprised Seungwan. She has been with Joohyun for almost half of her life and she didn't know that Joohyun liked that seafood dish. She doesn't even remember seeing Joohyun eat that either.

 

"That's your favorite?" Seungwan couldn't help but voice out her surprise.

 

It was Mrs. Jung who answered. "Oh yes, she does. When we were still in America, Joohyun would always order this dish without fail, did you, Joohyun-ah?"

 

Joohyun gave a small smile and nodded shyly.

 

Did she start liking that food when she was in America? I guess that explains why I never knew that. Seungwan thought to herself. 

 

"She likes this food so much that this is the only food that Joohyun wouldn't refuse to eat." Mrs. Jung continued.

 

"Really?" Seungwan asked. 

 

"Yes. Cook her this seafood dish and Joohyun would eat it in an instant."

 

"Ahjumma.." Joohyun whines, making Mrs. Jung laugh.

 

"Okay, okay. I'll leave you two alone now. Just call if you need anything else, okay?"

 

"Yes. Thank you, ahjumma."

 

Seungwan bowed. "Thank you, Mrs. Jung."

 

After the old woman left, Seungwan kept glancing at Joohyun once in a while. 

 

"So, uhm," Seungwan cleared . "You like that food, Joohyun sajangnim?"

 

Joohyun only shrugs. 

 

"Uh.. You.. you want me to cook it for you?" 

 

At this, Joohyun quickly turned to her with an unreadable expression. "Are you crazy? Can you even cook something without tasting it?"

 

Seungwan didn't understand what it had to do with what she asked. Nonetheless, she answered. "Uhm, no?"

 

"See? So don't you even dare." Joohyun warned.

 

"Sajangnim, I'm afraid I don't understand?"

 

Joohyun then looked at her in disbelief, as if she's crazy. After a few seconds, Joohyun shook her head, as if dismissing the topic.

 

"Whatever. Just eat."

 

"But-"

 

"I said eat, Ms. Son."

 

"Y-yes, sajangnim." 

 

They ate in silence for a few minutes and it was Joohyun who stood first.

 

"Oh, you're done, sajangnim?"

 

Joohyun rolled her eyes. "Obviously." She said, then walked off.

 

Seungwan watched Joohyun's retreating back. She knows she is still far from getting back Joohyun's trust. But she was willing to wait, and she would try anything and everything just to make Joohyun okay again. 

 

No matter what it takes.

 

*

 

The next day, Seungwan accompanied Joohyun to Jeonju to attend a meeting and a conference. They had been working all day so when Joohyun entered the car after the day's work, she slumped towards the back seat tiredly. 

 

"Joohyun sajangnim." Seungwan immediately hands her a bottle of water.

 

Joohyun muttered a small thanks. 

 

Seungwan had just started driving back when her phone rang. She took a quick glance at it and saw that it was Mother Superior who was calling her. But since she is driving, Seungwan dropped the call. A minute later, Mother Superior was calling again. 

 

She heard Joohyun taking a deep breath at the back. "Ms. Son, it's disturbing. Just stop the car and answer it."

 

"Uh, yes. I'm sorry, sajangnim. And thank you." 

 

Seungwan stopped the car at the side and raised the phone to her ear.

 

"Halmeoni?"

 

From her rear view mirror, Seungwan saw Joohyun instantly opening her eyes.

 

"Seungwan-ah, why were you ignoring my calls, hm?"

 

"I'm not, halmeoni. But I'm still at work, so.."

 

"Oh, dear, I didn't know. I thought you're now at home since it's already six in the afternoon."

 

"It's fine, halmeoni. I was actually driving back to Seoul-"

 

"You're driving right now?!"

 

"No. I parked at the side to take this call, halmeoni."

 

"I see. Wait. Did I disturb you?"

 

"It's fine, halmeoni. But why did you call though?"

 

"Well, your favorite playmate said she's been missing you and she wants to hear your voice. She's been bugging us to call you for an hour now."

 

Seungwan chuckles. "Tell her that I'll call once I get home, halmeoni."

 

"Okay. Drive safely. Where were you coming from anyway?"

 

"Uhh.. Jeonju?"

 

Mother Superior gasps on the other line. "You mean to tell me that you're in Jeonju right now?"

 

"W-well, yeah, but we're about to get home so-"

 

"Wait. Are you with Joohyun?"

 

"Uh, well.." Seungwan sneaks a glance at her rear view mirror. Joohyun was awake, looking outside her window. "Uhm, yes."

 

"Son Seungwan!"

 

Seungwan instantly moves the phone away from her ears.

 

"Halmeoni, don't shout."

 

"You mean to tell me, that you're here at Jeonju right now with Joohyun, and you're not even planning to drop by here? You didn't even tell me."

 

"Halmeoni, you know-"

 

"Just drop by here, Seungwan-ah. You two can have dinner here. I'll cook your favorites."

 

"But, halmeoni.."

 

"It's been five years since I last saw Joohyun, Seungwan-ah." 

 

Seungwan sighs. She knows how much the old nun misses Joohyun. But she couldn't possibly ask Joohyun to come with her to the orphanage, not with how things are between them right now. Besides, she knows that if Joohyun wants to visit there, she would do so.

 

"I know, halmeoni. But you see, uh.." Seungwan doesn't know how to answer Mother Superior, especially since the subject of their conversation is sitting quietly on the backseat. "There's.. there's something we still need to settle at the company tonight, halmeoni." Seungwan lied. "So we really can't.. I mean, we need to go back to Seoul as soon as we can."

 

"Alright. Fine." 

 

There was an obvious disappointment in Mother Superior's voice and Seungwan felt guilty. But she really can't do anything about this matter.

 

"I'm sorry, halmeoni."

 

"I understand. Just drive safely, okay? And call me once you're home."

 

"Yes, halmeoni. Thank you."

 

Seungwan ended the call and shifted the gear to drive. 

 

Joohyun cleared from the back. "Was.. was that Mother Superior?"

 

"Uh, yes. Yes, sajangnim."

 

Silence engulfed them after that. After a few minutes, Seungwan heard Joohyun clear once again.

 

"A lot has changed here over the past five years so I'm not quite sure now," Joohyun was the one who broke the silence. "But uhm, is the orphanage just near here?"

 

"Oh, uhm, I guess half an hour's drive from here, sajangnim."

 

"O-kay." Joohyun takes a deep breath. "Let's go there then."

 

Seungwan almost hit the break abruptly at how surprised she was. Am I hearing things?

 

"Sajangnim?"

 

She checked the rearview mirror and saw Joohyun turning her head to the side, avoiding her gaze. 

 

"Let's drop by the orphanage."

 

"S-sajangnim, are you sure?" Seungwan was worried that visiting the orphanage would just remind Joohyun of their past and it might hurt the older girl. "I mean, it's fine if you don't want to-"

 

"But I want to."

 

Joohyun said it so softly that Seungwan almost didn't hear it. 

 

"Actually, I've been.. meaning to visit halmeoni for a while now, since I came back. But with the current workload at the company.." Joohyun stops abruptly and her eyes widen a little, as if she realized that she's actually been talking to Seungwan about things unrelated to work. She shakes her head. "Just drive there."

 

"Uh, yes. Yes, of course, sajangnim."

 

*

 

On their way to the orphanage, Seungwan called Mother Superior to inform her of their visit. Mother Superior was ecstatic, so it was not a surprise to see the old nun waiting for them outside the orphanage.

 

What surprised Seungwan was how Joohyun immediately gets out of the car and runs towards the waiting old nun.

 

"Halmeoni!" Joohyun runs into Mother Superior's embrace.

 

"Oh, Joohyun-ah! You're here. You're finally here."

 

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, halmeoni."

 

From where Seungwan stood, she can see Joohyun wiping her eyes.

 

"The important thing is that you're here now." Mother Superior answered. "I'm so, so, happy to see you, Joohyun-ah."

 

Joohyun hums, tears in her eyes. "I missed you so much, halmeoni."

 

Seungwan could feel herself tearing up as she watches the two. She is happy because Joohyun and Mother Superior obviously missed each other and now, they're reunited. But a part of her also felt guilty. 

 

She was the cause of this. Joohyun left because of her. If not for her poor judgment, Joohyun wouldn't choose to leave them. 

 

It's all my fault. 

 

A tap on her shoulder pulls Seungwan out of her thoughts. She turned beside her and saw Sister Maria.

 

"This is an unexpected visit, but my heart is really happy right now." Sister Maria said as she too, watches Joohyun and Mother Superior. "Look at them."

 

Seungwan nods. "I know, Sister Maria. I'm glad too."

 

"So," Sister Maria turned to her. "Is everything okay now between the two of you?"

 

"We're.. working together professionally. But right now-" Seungwan shakes her head. "-that's all there is to it."

 

"I see." Sister Maria nods. "And how are you coping? I mean, it may not be easy to be together like this, especially after your break up."

 

"I'm fine, Sister. I'm doing this because this is what I wanted anyway." Seungwan answered, looking back to where Joohyun was. "But I don't know about her. It's her we should ask about. I mean.. for sure she hates me." She tried to laugh.

 

"What? No, I don't think so. I don't think Joohyun could hate you."

 

"But I had hurt her so much, Sister."

 

"Well, I know that, but.. Hate is a strong word. And you two have so much history together for her to hate you."

 

"You think so, Sister Maria?"

 

"Honestly, it was Mother Superior's words." Sister Maria grins. "But I agree with her."

 

Seungwan chuckles, shaking her head.

 

"Just show her how sincere you are, and she'll come around and forgive you. Just give it some time."

 

Seungwan nods. "I'll do whatever it takes for her to forgive me, Sister Maria. I'll never give up."

 

Sister Maria laughs. "Right. Just like how you didn't give up when you were still kids until she accepted you as her friend."

 

Seungwan couldn't help but smile at that. She bobs her head.

 

"Right. Just like how it was before, this time too, I'll never give up on her."