“Wake up, you, ungrateful witch!” the shrill voice pierced through Bona’s ears forcing her out of sleep. Despite the chilly night, she wouldn’t stop breaking into cold sweat. Bona hastily got out of her quilt, walked out of the dark tiny room into the living room with a very little help of light. She squinted to make out the scene lied bare before her. The unfamiliar living room, the small mouldy kitchen and the tiny room she just walked out of ironically made her relieved. The voice she just heard in her sleep had been haunting her for the longest time but not that she woke up, that one person was no longer there to torture her.

Very carefully, she stepped into the kitchen. What happened last night was still fresh in her mind. She quickly reached for the knife she held last night and hid it in one of the drawers. When she glanced at the clock on the wall, it was only 3.15 in the morning. It was still early to get ready for school and she couldn’t possibly go back to sleep after hearing her mother’s voice. Just thinking about it sent chills down her spine. Bona took the opportunity to study. She really wanted to do well in school. At least, when she left Seoul for the last time, she wouldn’t have something else to regret of. This time, she wanted to finish strong and she was filling to fight.

When the alarm rang, Bona immediately stopped writing. It has been so long since she’d been concentrating on books, it drained her energy. Heading back to the kitchen, she started to make stew with the bean sprouts from last night and make some rolled egg and white rice to go with it. At seven she’d finished her homework, making food for her grandmother for the day and ready to go to school with neatly pressed uniform that smelled like the soap that she washed them with.

“I’ll be home after work.” she wrote big letters on a piece of paper. She always did that so that her grandmother wouldn’t wait for her to finish midnight shift after school ended.

It wasn’t like her grandmother did not own a phone. But she kept complaining not to make her read the tiny letters and to call her instead if something urgent happened. But at least she owned a smartphone. That was after her niece convinced her to get one so that she could take and receive pictures of her hometown in Changwon.

“I’ll take my leave.” She whispered before closing the door carefully, not to startle her grandmother from her deep sleep.

…………………………

“You ungrateful brat! I’m not done talking to you. Don’t walk away from me! God knows what you is up to. Coming home late and leaving right after dawn.” Bona’s mom screamed at the top of her lungs as she struggled to stand due to hangover.

“I’m didn’t do anything bad. I promise. I just need to get some homework done before school starts.” She said as she tried to put on her shoes fast enough before her mother yanked the hairs of her head.

“You sure have a way of talking back to me. Sure, go ahead, princess. It’s not like you’re getting any smarter than Hyungwon.” The words pierced her heart. Her words always seemed like she recently learnt how to speak for the first time. The slur and smell of alcohol in her breath wouldn’t help when the police looked for her brother sooner or later.

“I made him dinner in advance. He’ll just need to heat them up on the stove. I’ll take my leave, then.” she left the house on a rush before she could feel the stinging sensation of the palm on her cheek. She didn’t need it today. Her mother wasn’t in her right mind. She didn’t want to argue with an irrational woman.

“Kim Bona, look alive.” Doyoung waved his hands in front of Bona to get her attention.

“I’m barely alive.” She told him as she continued to miss the shots. Like always, the indoor basketball court was empty since an hour ago when they started practice.

“Should we stop for today?” Doyoung caught the ball from bouncing aimlessly from her weak throw.

“No, I just need a break.” She refused and tried to get the ball back from his grasp. Doyoung shook his head and rolled the ball far from her reach and handed her a bottle of cold water instead.

“What time did you go to sleep last night?” he asked as she watched her took a sip from the bottle.

The loose hair on her face made him smile. He liked that easy-going side of her. When she put her mind on something, nothing else mattered to her. The Kim Bona other people saw always had neatly ironed uniform. She always had overly tight ponytail that pulled her scalp. Her white socks always stayed two inches above her ankles paired with dazzlingly bright white shoes. He doubted anyone else had seen her with oversized t-shirt that belonged to him and dishevelled hair from work out sweat. No, he didn’t want anyone else to see her like that.

“Three. I woke up at six. I had plenty of sleep.” She reassured him with the last sip, emptying the bottle of water within a blink of eyes.

“If you’re going to become an empty head, you should at least you all the free time to sleep.” He playfully hit her with his knuckles.

“Is that so?” Bona smiled bitterly at his words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just a figure of speech.” Doyoung frantically tried to comfort Bona when he saw her turned into a stone.

“I know. Don’t worry about it.” she reassured him. Honestly, something else had been bothering her for a while. Bona stared at the ground. He knew right away that something was up. She always did that. When she had a moment of hesitation, she always stayed quite and avoided eye contacts in order to hide her feelings and thoughts.

“What is it?” he asked, positioning himself so that he could look at her face clearly and gradually get the words out of her. Kim Bona was unexpectedly fragile despite her well-known cold-hearted personality and lack of concern for others. Doyoung knew that much and he was good at handling it.

“Kim Doyoung, thank you for showing me how to play basketball.” she finally spoke her first words five minutes of comfortable silence.

“Show them what you’re made of. Don’t think they can get away after they stood you up at practice.” He reminded Bona of the time she was left alone in the locked school gym. She was lucky Doyoung found her and saved her from spending the night at school.

“I’m sure that was just an honest mistake. Plus, it’s only for class competition. I’m just a spare.” She tried convincing him, or more like comforting herself.

“They made you do everything but manage to somehow forgot to include you in any sports. That’s kind of bizarre.” Doyoung protested.
He despised them for making Bona the class president just to make her do chores for them. Buying bread wasn’t part of her job’s description. It made him mad thinking about how they used Bona for their own benefit, pretending like she was their friends but talk about her whenever she wasn’t around. He happened to hear them twice when he hung out with his friends in her homeroom. Doyoung couldn’t defend Bona even when he badly wanted to. They made it clear it not to acknowledge each other except when they were alone.

“You’re doing that again. Don’t be too nice to people. If they hit you, you hit them back twice harder.” He protested as he squeezed the plastic bottle in anger. Bona stared at him quietly.

“I’ll get into trouble if I hit people.” She said with such an innocent looking face. Doyoung scoffed at her response.

“What?” she asked in confusion at his sudden laughter.

“Nothing.” He told her as she secretly stole a glance at her. Somehow, Bona managed to get herself another job while talking to Doyoung. She was already ten meters away from him, picking up trashes in the gym and gather them using the baggy shirt she was wearing. When she crouched down, Doyoung caught the glimpse of the skin of her stomach. He could feel the rush of blood coming towards his cheeks. He suddenly felt hot. Doyoung jumped out of his seat and drifter his eyes elsewhere. It felt like something was swirling inside his stomach. He couldn’t believe he was having that kind of thought.

“I’ll treat you to snacks sometime after school." She offered him to pay his kindness.

“Out of school? Wouldn’t that be like a date?” he asked, flustered but also half-anticipating her reaction.

“What? No, no, no. I would never. I’m sorry. I guess this is it. Thanks again.” Bona apologized and made her way towards the door. She could feel her temperature rose at the thought of going on a date with a clearly well-known figure of the school.

“Wait, Bona. I’m just teasing you. Don’t take everything literally. Let’s go after school.” He quickly chased after Bona. He was able to grasp her wrist and pinned her to the wall to stop her from running away.

“I heard the snack truck in front of school has the best ddeokbeokki.” She blurted out. Doyoung sighed in relief and slowly let her go. Doyoung took a step back to catch his breath as Bona had nowhere else to go. They knew the were standing too close because she could feel his warm breath grazed her skin which amusingly gave her goosebumps.

“Today is a bit… How about weekend. I’m free on Saturday.”

“Okay.” She agreed without a single bit of hesitation.

"Okay.” He repeated her words without a reason. It was more like trying made sense to himself of what just happened.

“I’ll see you, then.”

“Hey, by the way when you say this is it, do you mean to part way with me for good, like see you around if we ever run into each other like the first time?” he asked, slightly hoping that it wouldn’t be the case.

“I guess.” She answered with a slight hesitation.

“Really? That truly hurt my feelings.” Doyoung playfully clutched his chest. It sent Bona frantically into chaos.

“I thought you don’t want to see me anymore.” She admitted.

“We play basketball together after school and we hang out in the art room at lunch for more than a year. I even became your hand model and went to see art competition. What do you think those things mean?” he asked Bona but she obviously seemed confused by his sudden confession.

Bona had never really given a thought about how she would receive her first love confession. However, she knew well much that being sweaty in Doyoung’s t-shirt wasn’t in any parts of it.

“You really have no idea?” he asked in disbelief. Bona took a deep breath and tried choosing her words sensibly before she cleared to answer him.

“I mean do. I know what it means but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. And I have some things going on with my family and I don’t want to get your hopes up and…” Doyoung started to walk closer and closer towards her direction, making her struggled to search for words. The one-inch distance between them felt so close yet so far.

“You already did get my hopes up. What are you going to do about it?” Doyoung stared deeply into her eyes, hoping to find a mutual agreement of their fondness towards one another.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” she said under her breath.

“Okay. But you owe me a date, anyway.” He reminded her before exiting the gym.

“I told you, it’s not a date.” She tried to suppress the annoyance in her voice.

“I’ll see you Saturday.” He said with a bitter smile. And Bona could tell clearly but she didn’t want to get his hopes high again after the rejection just a few seconds ago.

“See you.” she said before leaving the gym too. But Doyoung knew he couldn’t let her go. Not without a good fight. After a deep thought, he took another breath and called out her name.

“Kim Bona, what if you win the class tournament on Friday, I’ll pretend like this conversation never happened. But if you didn’t, you owe me a date. A formal one. With flowers, dinner and everything.” He said and left her looking determined as ever.