There's a reason your ex...is an ex.
 

“, no, no, no...” Kibum whined. 

No way was his ex currently lying in his bed. 

No way had he just cheated on his boyfriend.

The tears that leaked from Kibum eyes ran down his face in thick streams.

He was gently caressing  the strong arms that laid across his sides but froze after he realized these arms felt familiar...but they didn’t belong to his current lover.

He quickly sat up and open his mouth in horror when he saw his ex staring back at him with groggy eyes.

His ex simply rolled his eyes and turned over on to his stomach, too tired to deal with the situation at hand. 

“ Jonghyun! What-what are you doing here?” He asked frantically pulling at his hair.

His ex chuckled. Kibum wanted to smack the back of his head for laughing at him when he was clearly in distress.

“Jonghyun!” Kibum called trying to garner his attention.

“What Kibum? It’s freaking 9 in the morning on a Saturday! Let me sleep.” He said squinting as he quickly checked his phone that was tucked under the pillow.

Kibum growled. 

One of the many reasons their relationship ended was because of Jonghyun’s terrible attitude. To simply put it, he was an .

Kibum pushed Jonghyun’s side causing him to scream an angry “yah!” with a string of curses to follow while trying to gather himself from falling off the bed. 

“Get out of my house! Get out!” Kibum cried.

He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes as his face turned red from crying and frustration.

“ off.” Jonghyun said trying to get back comfortable in his bed.

Kibum was baffled.

“The hell is wrong with you, Jjong? Get out of my bed and get out of my house!” 

How could he? How could Kibum cheat on his loving boyfriend with such an awful person? How could he do that to him?

“What for? You’re just gonna call me again the next time you’re mad at your little boyfriend.” 

Unfortunately, this was not the first time Kibum had cheated on his loving boyfriend. 

He loved Minho. He did. But he was still in love with Jonghyun too. 

Their relationship was too toxic as the two had much to work on within themselves that they just couldn’t do together. Kibum felt that Jonghyun brought out the worse in him and vice versa.

“...why...why...” Kibum chanted to himself. 

Kibum was wearing a pair of boxers but almost screamed when he saw Jonghyun get up from the covers completely . Kibum quickly threw on a shirt and pants that were lying around on the floor.

Oh no. 

The first time he cheated with Jonghyun they had only made out, that was it! 

Well...he cheated on two other seperate occasions.

But that’s all! 

The first time he hadn’t expected to see him at a house party that was thrown by a mutual friend of theirs in his drunken state!

The first time he cheated, he was honest and told Minho. Their relationship went through a rough patch after that but in the end, Minho ended up forgiving him.

The second time they made out the two happend to cross paths with each other at a bar drunk and ended up going home together. 

Thankfully, the two passed out before anything further happen.

That’s all!

But he didn’t tell Minho what happened the next two times...only the first time.

He didn’t want to risk their relationship being over just because of a...few mistakes.

“Jjong...Please don’t tell me we...”

Jonghyun snorted as he rose from the bed and slipped on his boxers and pants.

“Kibum, please. You practically begged me to you last night.” 

Kibum screamed from frustration and quickly ravaged the floor under discarded clothes and blankets to check for a , still not believing in Jonghyun’s words.

“Here.” Jonghyun said flicking the dirty off the floor from the side of his bed towards Kibum’s direction. 

At this piece of evidence, Kibum dropped down to the floor and cried hard into his hands.

Jonghyun gave a snide grin and rolled his eyes.

“Oh please. Don’t start this ‘woe is me’ act right now.” Jonghyun said in a stern voice.

“You knew exactly what you were doing when you called me over last night, sober might I add?” 

It was true. 

He and Minho had gotten into a huge argument. He had thought he had found traces of infidelity on Minho’s part but didn’t have anything to prove it. But at this point he really was feeling guilty about cheating on him and started believing his mind was playing tricks on him and was becoming paranoid. Which then allowed him to start accusing his boyfriend. 

To spite Minho he wanted to just...see Jonghyun. That was it. Just talk. He didn’t mean for the two to get drunk and have . That wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t suppose to go beyond kissing.

“Jonghyun you! off! We-we weren’t supposed to do that!” 

“Jesus Kibum, get a grip. You’re a grown man. Take some accountability for your actions for once!”

Kibum glared at him through red blurry eyes.

“YOU called me over. YOU bought the alcohol. YOU pulled down my pants and my . YOU begged me to come over to you. So I did.”  Jonghyun said hovering over Kibum, as he still sat on the floor.

Kibum jumped up to be face to face with his ex. 

“You knew I had a boyfriend!” He screamed in his face.

Jonghyun laughed.

“You seriously can’t be blaming this on me right now?” He smiled in disbelief. He was amused at the fact that Kibum was in denial.

“You knew I had a boyfriend! Why-why didn’t you just say no?” 

“Because I still love you.” Jonghyun said without a pause.

Kibum’s eyes grew wide and he stopped breathing. 

“You think I’m gonna say no to kissing and ing you? I wouldn’t have cared if the two of you were married. I still would have done it.” He said honestly. 

If it’s one thing about Jonghyun that Kibum hated, was that Jonghyun was a selfish and only cared about things that made him happy. 

But it was like looking in the mirror for Kibum, right?

Whenever Kibum gave into him, Jonghyun never hesitated to have a chance to have his ex back in his arms again. Why would he hesitate? He didn’t know Minho, he didn’t owe him anything. If Kibum kept coming back to him, clearly his boyfriend wasn’t doing something right.

“I love Minho.” He spat.

The cocky look Jonghyun had on his face disappeared.

The hurt look in Jonghyun’s eyes didn’t go unoticed and he almost regretted saying that.

He could tell he had Jonghyun taken aback for a second and was contemplating on saying sorry until he opened his mouth.

“Well that’s not the name you were screaming last night when I ed you into those sheets, now was it?” 

A hard slap was immediately delt across Jonghyun’s face. He stumbled back a bit.

The two stood their frozen with Kibum wearing a shocked expression at what he had done and Jonghyun holding on to the side of his face with big eyes. 

The shocked look quickly turned into a look of anger.

“You’re a little , you know that Kibum?” He said through gritted teeth and a balled up fist. 

Kibum balled up his fists from anger. But was stunned to see Jonghyun’s eyes b with tears.

“I bet you were screwing people behind my back when we were together too. Weren’t you?” 

“I never did anything like to you!” Kibum said offended.

“Out of all my flaws at least I can say I wasn’t a cheater like you. “ Jonghyun said.

Out of anger Kibum stepped forward to slap Jonghyun again. But Jonghyun caught Kibum’s wrist and threw his arm off to the side.

“Look at you. Still blaming your problems on other people. You’re such a little brat.”

It was sometimes hard for Kibum to accept when he had been wrong. He spent so much of his time being a perfectionist that when he messed up it was hard for him to take the blame or take accountability. It’s not like he had ill intentions right? He never meant to mess up or hurt people. It was an accident. He wasn’t a bad guy. At least that’s how Kibum saw himself. 

“I thought we broke up so we could find ourselves’.” Jonghyun said mocking the words Kibum once said to him.

“But instead I find my in your mouth. Huh, isn’t that funny?” Jonghyun smiled.

Kibum lost it.

How could Jonghyun stand their smiling while taunting him? 

He charged at Jonghyun with his arms flailing but Jonghyun was stronger than him and quickly restrained him and threw him on the bed.

Kibum curled up in on himself and continued screaming a heartbroken cry.

Jonghyun just stared at him with anger, regret, and concern written all over his face. But refused to comfort him. 

“Why are you always so mean to me, Jonghyun?” These words came out in a heavy sorrowful voice.

“You always try to get a reaction out of me. You always try to make me cry. You always say things that you know will hurt me...how can you say you love me when you’re so mean to me?” Kibum said through broken sobs refusing to look at his ex.

Jonghyun stood there uncomfortably.

It was true. Jonghyun didn’t have the best regulation over his emotions and often took them out on Kibum. He was spiteful and said the most hurtful things he knew would upset and trigger Kibum. He did this when his own feelings were hurt and didn’t know how to properly communicate this. 

When he was hurting he wanting Kibum to hurt with him. Selfish wasn’t it? 

No matter how big or minor an incident was, Jonghyun always used his words as a knife to cut through Kibum’s thick skin.

And he always felt like a villain afterwards.

Some moments had passed by and the guilt was starting to gnaw at Jonghyun.

“Kibum...” Jonghyun whispered. He tried to reach towards him but Kibum slapped his hands away. 

“Don’t touch me...” He said wiping his tears with his shirt. 

“Bummie-“

“STOP- don’t ing call me that!” Forgetting that he himself called his ex by his pet name earlier. He finally looked up daring to look Jonghyun in the eyes. He was surprised to see Jonghyun’s head down and his shoulders shaking.

“I’m sorry.” He said. 

He was starting to cry too. 

Had this been the old days, he would have ran up to him and embraced him in a warm hug and coddled him. It was rare to see Jonghyun cry. 

He just sat on the bed as Jonghyun tried to get himself together.

This was pathetic.