So this is a prequel to my story:  I Found You 

The link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1515684/2/i-found-you
WARNING: This story talks about reincarnation so death is mention but it will not be explicit or graphically explained or written in detail. It will only be mentioned through out.

The many times Kim Jonghyun fell in love with his soul mate.

A Peasants Life

“That one.” Jonghyun said. 

“He is no longer for sale.” The old man said. 

He was short and plump old man. He wore a greasy smile and nice clothes that he earned from the selling of peasants and many other illegal things Jonghyun assumed. It made him sick to his stomach to see humans have no shame over some of their life choices. 

“And why not?” Jonghyun barked angrily.

The man’s smile faltered.

“He has already been sold, Sir.” The old man said, getting down to his knees and bowing, sensing Jonghyun’s anger. He wanted to appease his costumer, groveling.

Jonghyun had been impatient. Rarely was he ever rude, but his priority was to find Kibum. He would not let anything stand in his way.

Jonghyun threw a heavy pouch full of coins onto the ground towards the old man’s head.

“I’ll double it. Now untie him and bring him to me.” Jonghyun said sternly.

Jonghyun held a soft gaze upon Kibum’s trembling figure.

He was nothing but a peasant, a mere slave in this life cycle. And Jonghyun hated it. His love didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

They were traveling to Jonghyun’s home in his carriage. He was able to fumble with some documents and with a few bribes here and there he registered himself as an upper class and well educated citizen. 

So he would be able to take care of Kibum well. 

“Please, drink some tea.” Jonghyun said, holding a cup and handing it out towards Kibum.

He looked so scared. He was shaking.

His clothes were dirtied, his hair cut short and ruffled. He looked traumatized. 

He shook his head “no” frantically, eagerly rejecting his kind gesture.

Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what they did to him…he may go back and wreak havoc on those mortals if he were to find out.

He sighed at the look of fear and confusion in Kibum's eyes. 

Once they got to Jonghyun’s home, he instructed his servants to bathe Kibum and clean him up immediately. And when they were done, bring him to his room to have dinner with him. 

All his servants were confused as to why he was treating him like this. He was a slave and ought to be treated like one!

But they wouldn’t dare say this to his face.

“Master Kim. He is ready.” One of his servants announced before opening his door.

Jonghyun could hardly contain his excitement.

“Come in!” He said.

The servants carefully guided Kibum to sit down across from Jonghyun as their dinner was laid out nicely in front of them. 

Kibum was refusing to make eye contact and held his head down as he was instructed to sit. 

But Jonghyun wanted him to look at him.

He had been cleaned up well. He wore a beautifully light colored hanbok. His servants did the best they could to tie his short hair into a top knot. And there was no longer dirt on his face or hands. He was hoping he would feel more comfortable after being taken care of but it still seemed he had fear in his heart.

“Welcome. You should eat.” Jonghyun said softly.

Kibum only shook his head. 

“I should not be eating with you like this Master…” Kibum said carefully.

“Master?” Jonghyun laughed. 

“I am no Master to you. Call me Jonghyun.” 

At this Kibum dared to look up at him with shock clearly etched into his expression.

Jonghyun took a moment to gaze into his eyes.

“I didn’t not buy you as my slave. I bought your freedom. You will be treated as my equal from now on.” Jonghyun said, preparing himself to eat.

“And I wish to see you stand by my side as my lover one day as well.” 

He smiled as he watched Kibum’s eyes grow wide. No use in beating around the bush this time around.

“You’re a sodomite?” 

How bold of him to ask him that when he had been so frightened just mere seconds ago.

Jonghyun could only laugh.

“I prefer the warmth and comfort from a man rather than a woman. Does this make me so bad?” Jonghyun said, taking a sip of his tea.

“Am I to be your slave?” Kibum whimpered, biting his lip.

Jonghyun gave him a look.

“Have you heard nothing of what I just said? You are my equal. I only said I wish to have you by my side as my lover. But, I will not force that upon you.” 

Kibum looked taken aback. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Jonghyun wasn’t going to make Kibum be his lover, he would allow it to happen naturally. They were soul mates after all, it was going to happen eventually. There was a pull.

“Eat. The food will grow cold. And so will my patience.” He grinned playfully.

It was a long and hard journey to get Kibum to open up to him. He had had a terrible upbringing in this life cycle. Experiencing so much pain and loss. 

But with time he slowly healed Kibum’s heart. 

They spent a few years together, Jonghyun teaching him how to read and write and to play instruments. He allowed and supported Kibum in any endeavors that he so desired. Anything he wanted, he gave it to him.

Their love developed naturally. 

He never forced him. But his charms and gentle nature was what won him over.

“Jonghyun-ah. I wish I could be like this with you forever.” Kibum said in between their kisses that they often shared in private, away from curious and questioning eyes.

Jonghyun took Kibum’s chin in between his fingers.

“Do you truly wish this?” He asked very carefully.

Insecurity filled Kibum’s eyes.

“Y-yes. Do you not wish the same?” He asked with a worried tone.

Jonghyun quickly landed a kiss to his lips to ease his discomfort. He ran his hand through Kibum’s damp hair, the state of it caused by their nightly activities.

“What would you say…if I could make that possible?” He asked.

“Oh Jonghyun, I wish it were possible…” Kibum said dreamily. 

Jonghyun leaned forward and buried his nose onto the side of his lover's neck. He inhaled deeply.

“Kibum, I must tell you something.”

There had been fairy tales and folklore that had warned about such creatures as these. They had been taught to be scared, to fear these kinds of creatures.

Although confused, Kibum couldn’t bring himself to hate Jonghyun for what he was.

With every life cycle Jonghyun had to endure the state of shock or denial or even possibly rejection. But this Kibum had been so deeply loyal and in love with him he did not let that sour their love.

“When you come back…you promise you will turn me?” Kibum said one autumn night.

“I will only be gone a week my love.” Jonghyun grinned. He rested his chin on his lover's shoulder, greedily searching for more skin.

“Do you promise?” Kibum asked again.

As Jonghyun held him from behind and landed a kiss on his neck, he felt Kibum shiver.

It was important for Jonghyun to be here throughout Kibum’s turning process, but some important diplomatic affairs had come up, putting a pause in their plans. 

“I wish you would come with me.” Jonghyun whispered. 

“I do not enjoy such boring activities.” Kibum said playfully.

But Kibum had mentioned how he had been feeling under the weather as of late. Even if he didn’t want to go, he would have. If only to be in the presence of his lover. But it was best for him to stay home and rest.

“I will come back the moment I am set free.” Jonghyun said.

As promised Jonghyun came back a week later. Feeling as though he wasted his time. Dealing with humans was futile. But it was important for him to fit into human society so he had to deal with ridiculous affairs.

When he arrived upon his land a servant came rushing out to him and immediately fell to her knees and bowed. Fear clearly evident on her face. 

“My L-Lord, Master Kibum…he has gotten worse since you left!” She said erratically.

“Pace yourself! Speak slowly.” He said, impatience dripping from his voice.

“Master Kibum, h-he started to become so hot and he has not stopped sweating! He shivers every night and he coughs every day. His skin is white! We have tried to give him herbs and medicine but nothing has worked!” She said.

Jonghyun stepped foot off from his carriage and rushed to the doors of his home. He threw his doors open, not even allowing his servants to do it for him.

“Where is he?!” He yelled at no one in particular, but waited for an answer from one of his servants.

“In his chambers!” A servant called.

Jonghyun immediately made way towards that direction.

He busted into Kibum’s room only to be met with the sight of Kibum looking ghostly white and heaving. A servant was putting a wet cloth over his forehead.

“Master, please be careful. We do not know if this is contagious-“

“Leave us please.” Jonghyun said immediately, cutting his servant off. Again, he didn’t mean to be rude but he needed to figure out what was happening from Kibum’s lips immediately. Besides he had no need to worry over his health, he was immortal.

The servant hesitantly bowed and left quickly without a word.

He instantly took over her job and patted Kibum’s face with a wet cloth. Kibum was on fire. His body had a thin film of sweat covering it

“You are back.” Kibum said weakly.

But even that small sentence threw him into a coughing fit.

Jonghyun held a cup of water to his lips.

“Kibum-ah, what happened?” He pleaded.

Kibum took a few moments before he answered to regain his composure.

“Even I have no answer to that…” He said sadly.

If he had known this would happen, he would have never left and started the process sooner.

“Won’t you turn me now and rid me of this terrible cold!” He said coughing again.

Jonghyun bit his lip. He held Kibum’s hand gently before speaking.

“I…can’t…” He said with tears b his eyes.

Kibum looked at him confused.

“Why?” He whispered.

“With the state your body is in…you would not make it through your turning process…”

He was too weak. His body would reject the process. 

Kibum sat quietly for some time as Jonghyun continued to try to cool his skin with the wet cloth. His body was weak and in pain, his skin such an unhealthy color…

“When I am healthy again, you will turn me?” Kibum squeezed past his lips, his voice hoarse.

“Yes, yes, anything you desire.”

He laid a kiss on his damp forehead.

Kibum’s health deteriorated and he never recovered from that gruesome cold.

Troubling Times 

“I’m scared, Hyung.”

“Don’t worry.” Jonghyun said reassuringly as he ran his hand through Kibum’s hair.

They were at their hideout with other dislocated Koreans from their village.

“We could go…we could run away towards the mountain.” Jonghyun said, looking into Kibum’s eyes intensely.

“How would we even survive? Don’t be foolish. Besides, we can't abandon the others.” Kibum whispered.

“I can take care of us. I promise.”

“Jonghyun.” Kibum said as a warning.

Kibum didn’t want to take the easy way out. His honor and pride wouldn’t allow it. Though he was scared to death.

He wanted to help the people and the children from his village the best way he could, one of the few healthy men left.

But all this felt torturous to Jonghyun because he could simply turn him and they could run away. Be stronger even. But…he hadn’t gotten the chance to tell him. War broke out and everything went to hell. He didn’t think Kibum could handle this kind of news right now in the state that his mind was in.

And he could not turn Kibum without his permission. Even if he did, he didn't have a safe place to keep Kibum during his turning process. Soldiers were everywhere. They had to be careful.

“Okay, alright…” Jonghyun sighed. He wanted to cry. He had such a simple solution.

“I can’t go on the hunt with you tomorrow. I’m going to stay here and watch some of the kids, okay?”

“Why?! Kibum no-“

“Hyung! Some of the mothers are sick. They need help.” Kibum said, a bit disappointed in Jonghyun’s reaction.

“Then I’ll stay with you.” Jonghyun said.

“You can’t. We need you all to get out and get food. The rations are shrinking.” Kibum said sternly.

They had met some time before the invasion and the war happened. Kibum was the son of a shoe maker and a jewelry maker. He was happy to find Kibum living in good health and in a comfortable position in life. He quickly befriended the boy and eventually they turned into his lovers. A secret of course, as they would be outcasted from their community. 

But one day, things had changed. Suddenly Kibum no longer had a home or a family. His village was attacked and torn apart by soldiers that spoke a different language. With surviving members of his village, they ran away and found a hideout for the time being. But for how much longer could they live like this?

With a heavy heart Jonghyun and a few other men ventured out to find some food or salvage some other goods they could use that day. And it was the worst decision he ever made.

When they arrived they came back to see their hideout had been raided, with many unfortunate souls harmed, killed or missing. 

And Kibum was among those many unfortunate souls.

A Domesticated Life 

“Jonghyun, you know I love you right?”

The soft voice broke the comfortable silence to the two held through the night.

Jonghyun opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Kibum, who was already laying on his side facing him. 

Jonghyun rolled over to copy his position.

“Yes.” Jonghyun said, smiling lazily as he felt Kibum caress his cheek softly.

Jonghyun moved closer to feel their warm bodies press closer together under the blankets. 

Jonghyun relished in the way his body relaxed and melted into his lover’s. His smile started to falter a bit when he looked into his lover’s eyes. They looked sad.

“Why do you ask?” Jonghyun asked, taking the hand that was caressing his face into his and intertwining their fingers.

Jonghyun watched as Kibum’s eyes searched his face.

“I want to be with you forever…” Kibum said.

“We will.” Jonghyun replied, unsure why Kibum said this. That had already agreed to this future.

“I can’t. Not anymore.” Kibum said quietly. Jonghyun wasn’t sure he heard him correctly.

“What?” He asked in a stern voice, visibly startling his lover.

“I…I can’t keep doing this…to Taeyeon.” 

The room became silent. The atmosphere thick with tension. Not even a butcher knife could cut through it.

Jonghyun lifted up from his laying position slowly and Kibum did the same. Kibum looked at him worriedly and anxiously awaited an answer.

Jonghyun threw his legs over the bed keeping his back faced towards Kibum. Unable to look him in the eyes.

He could feel him staring.

“And?” Was Jonghyun’s simple response.

“I-I think she’s catching on to me…if she finds out…she’ll take the kids away. She’ll take the boys away from me Jjong! I don’t think I can handle that.” Kibum’s voice came out shaky.

Jonghyun’s chest started to tighten. This couldn’t be. He thought this torture was over. 

He stood up but was instantly pulled back down by Kibum.

“Jjong! Wait, listen! I can’t leave my kids like this! I can’t!” He pleaded.

Jonghyun gained enough strength to turn around and look at Kibum to see that he had tears forming in his eyes.

Jonghyun scoffed. 

Hoping to keep his anger intact so that his own flow of tears wouldn’t break through.

Kibum was clutching onto Jonghyun’s arms tightly, not wanting him to walk out on him.

“Jjong, you have to understand…”

“You said you would come with me…you promised me.” Jonghyun hissed.

“I know b-but-“

“You said you hated it! You hated this lifestyle! You said you never wanted to be married to a woman or have kids! Y-you said you only did this to make your parents happy!” Jonghyun yelled.

Kibum held his head down in shame. 

This was all true. Kibum couldn’t deny it.

“I know, I know…but Jonghyun I still love Taeyeon. I’m not in love with her but I do love her…she’s more of a close friend to me. And I love my sons. If I leave them…h-how would she take care of them alone? How could I abandon the kids when they need a father in their lives? Who will take care of my parents?” Kibum said.

“I wasn’t thinking straight before…I was only thinking about myself…”

Kibum had promised to run away with Jonghyun and let him turn him. They had everything planned out. Jonghyun had everything set up. All he needed was the green light. He had bared through it all, the wedding and watching Kibum become a father. He even took it upon himself to be known as their honorary uncle and help take care of his children when he could. But when Kibum’s new life was starting it seemed as if that green light had started to turn to the color yellow and now it had faded into red.

“So now what?” Jonghyun said, ripping his gaze away.

“I have to focus on my family now.”

Those words stung Jonghyun’s heart. 

This was supposed to be the last cycle. Jonghyun was just so sure of it. Kibum had  remembered him from his past life through dreams and fell in love with him, but unfortunately had his life planned out for him already. 

An arranged marriage and entering the family business as a stable job. This Kibum never had a say in what he wanted in this lifetime. But the moment he met Jonghyun he felt like he had found another purpose to live again.

But such heavy and serious responsibilities were holding him back.

The economy was shaky and his family needed him now more than ever.

He had to rethink his decision of running away from everything.

It was immoral.

“I never thought of myself as selfish.” Jonghyun said, fighting to hold back tears.

Jonghyun turned around and looked deeply and fiercely into Kibum’s eyes.

Kibum suddenly bec