NOTICE: This is a reupload because I rewrote the end. I rewrote the end because what I had originally was trash and too rushed so I could fit the deadline. So I rewrote an ending that was more fitting!
 

I just wrote this for Summer of SHINee on Twitter! 

Prompt came from a quote the promoter chose.

Prompt/Quote:

“You weren't just a star, you were my whole damn sky”— Garfy, Baby don’t cry for me

“How do I look?”

“I’m not going to lie…I don’t think Kibum is going to be too thrilled to see you.”

Jonghyun frowned and rolled his eyes. He knew this was already a possibility, but that’s not what he wanted to hear.

“Gee, thanks Taemin. Such great support.”

“I’m just saying.” Taemin shrugged.

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if I looked okay.” He repeated.

“You think that will work on Kibum?” Taemin asked seriously.

Jonghyun wasn’t in the mood for this right now. He shoved past Taemin to go look at himself in the mirror. He fixed the collar of his shirt and straightened out his sleeves before trying to button his shirt.

He couldn’t lie…a small part of him hoped that when he saw his ex tonight, that Kibum would instantly fall for his good looks like he had done in the past.

But the chances were slim to none.

He sighed. He was actually very nervous. This wasn’t a good sign. When he gets nervous he gets hand tremors.

He tried to calm down and button up his shirt up to no avail. His hands and fingers started shaking too much. He couldn’t grasp the buttons as his fingers started to feel like jello.

He started making frustrated sounds as he was trying not to panic.

He was going to give up until Taemin came and swatted his hands away and buttoned up the last few buttons on his shirt for him.

Jonghyun silently thanked him but was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

He developed these hand tremors when he was younger, unable to cope with certain emotions or stress. He got like this when he was nervous or angry, sometimes even when he was excited.

It was such a nuisance and embarrassing.

“Relax,” Taemin said as he put a hand on his shoulder.

Jonghyun finally looked him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry for…being so blunt with you earlier. Just act natural and just be yourself. I’m sure Kibum will at least hear you out…maybe…” Taemin said, uttering that last part lowly.

“Thanks…” He whispered back to him, holding his hands together to keep them from shaking.

Jonghyun could tell Taemin didn’t want him to drive so Taemin offered to do it. It probably as best if he drove to their destination tonight.

He hadn’t seen his ex in over a year and he was becoming more and more nervous the closer they got to their destination.

It was their close friend Jinki’s 30th birthday this weekend and he had many events planned to celebrate himself with friends.

They group of friends had all met back in college, thats how he met Kibum. Through Jinki.

So of course his ex was going to be there tonight.

He gazed up at the sky, wanting to see stars. But it was too early in the evening to see such things yet. Looking at the stars always helped calm himself down. Was Kibum looking at the sky too, looking for stars?

The two pulled up to Jinki’s home just before too many people got there.

Jonghyun tried giving himself a pep talk before going in. Once they got inside of Jinki’s nice spacious apartment, a bit of relief washed over him at seeing his happy friend.

“You guys made it!” Jinki said, tackling both boys into a huge hug. The two started choking for air as Jinki had held them so tight.

“Calm down birthday boy! You just saw me last week.” Jonghyun said, gasping. He kept in contact with his close friend every often, or as often as close friends should.

Jonghyun felt like his anxiousness was eating him alive. He tried his best to enjoy the nights festivities as best as he could but couldn’t help but to look over his shoulders every so often when he heard Jinki’s front door opening and closing. 

Everyone was talking, laughing, and celebrating the birthday boy. 

Maybe he would have felt more at ease had been able to have more interaction with his friend, but everyone was fighting for Jinki’s attention that night. Taemin of course running around talking people that they hadn’t seen since college or from other meetings. 

Jonghyun spent his time talking to a few people here and there, but social events like this wore him out sometimes. And it didn’t help that he still felt anxious and had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

But he felt the blood in his veins go cold when he heard a familiar laugh. Jonghyun snapped his head towards the front door in an instant.

There he was. Kibum had walked through the door trailing behind Minho. Minho quickly came in and started hugging and talking every person he knew in sight as usual. He was busy trying to look around Minho, because he was blocking his view from looking at Kibum with his long arms flailing around. Kibum was greeting a few people that had hombarded the two when they walked through the doorway. Jonghyun tried not to be so obvious that he was looking, but for a split second he saw Kibum look at him straight in the eyes. A shiver went down his spine at his piercing glare. His eyes held a cold look. He didn’t look happy to see him at all, why would he?

He was anticipating for Kibum to give him a stiff head node or a cold “hello” but instead…he got nothing.

Kibum just walked by him.

Jonghyun felt as if his heart physically broke in two. He was sure it did. But what did he expect?

He felt a pat on his back and looked to see Jinki giving him a sympathetic look. Minho and Taemin also saw it and gave him pitying looks as well.

“Maybe he’ll come around…” Taemin whispered into his ear. But Jonghyun only held his head low.

“Give him a little space first. I wouldn’t force it so fast…” Minho said lingering behind to say this to Jonghyun before darting off to finish saying hello to everyone and greet the birthday boy.

Jonghyun wasn’t a fool. He noticed a few stares and whispers that were aimed towards him and Kibum. Many people knew of their relationship as they shared the same friendship circles. But he was becoming overly paranoid and felt as if everyone was talking about them every time he saw someone opening their mouths.

He was starting to feel a bit hot and stuffy.

He watched as Kibum walked over to Jinki and give him a hug. The two spent some time chatting before some else would come to steal Jinki away. 

He was knawng at his lips with his teeth nervously. 

He watch Kibum hop around and speak to different people, not once sparing him a second glance like he had hoped he would. 

“Hyung, relax. No one is thinking about you two, okay? No one is watching you. Spotlight effect.” Taemin said, trying to comfort him a bit when Jonghyun told him of his worries later on. But what he said wasn’t helping at all actually.

“I need a minute.” Jonghyun said. He quickly guided himself to Jinki’s bedroom bathroom knowing no one else would dare step into his room without his permission, which meant he could be alone.

He locked the bathroom door behind him and signed heavily at himself. He was feeling gittery. 

Truly his plan tonight was, to be frank, grovel and beg for Kibum’s forgiveness. But how was he to do that when Kibum was clearly ignoring his existence? He couldn’t follow him around, he would look crazy! 

He leaned over the sink and tried to even out his breathing. He wanted to cover his ears to get rid of the muffled sounds of music and people talking. It was clouding his head along with his already intrusive thoughts. He was still feeling hot and decided to the top few buttons of his shirt before his fingers became useless again. He rolled up his sleeves and splashed some water in his face. 

He looked himself in the mirror. 

Would Kibum take him back? Would he even listen to anything he had to say?

He was selfish, how could he even think to show his face to him? 

He tried removing the negatives thoughts from his head. He looked down at his hands to see how badly they were trembling and he forced himself to calm down before he would start panicking. 

Jinki had a small window in his bathroom and open it to let in some air. But when he did he looked up at the few stars in the sky. The sun had gone down now so he could see more. He couldn’t help but to suddenly think of the first time he met Kibum. That was how they met after all, under the stars.

He felt calmer now. 

He would never forget the twinkle in his eyes and the way his bright personality outshone the rest of the stars that night. Could they go back to that?

He was lost in thought and jumped when he heard a knock on the door suddenly.

“Jonghyun! I know it’s you!” A voice yelled.

Jonghyun swung the door open.

“You’re the only prick who would walk in my room without my consent.” Jinki said walking in and bumping his shoulder playfully.

Jinki took a moment to fix his hair in the mirror before looking at Jonghyun’s reflexion.

“You okay?” Jinki asked.

“Ye-“

“No, you’re not. Sorry, I don’t know why I asked.” Jinki sighed, taking one last look at his profile before turning around to face him.

“Sorry about tonight. You’re my friends. I wanted you both here…I couldn’t choose.” Jinki said honestly.

Jonghyun frowned. His friend shouldn’t be worrying about him! He should be celebrating. Perhaps Jonghyun needed to leave his pity party and enter the birthday party he was originally invited to.

“Don’t apologize, Hyung. Don’t worry about me. I’m okay.” Jonghyun said with a fake smile.

Jinki studied his face for a moment, probably searching for the truth in his eyes. 

“Talk to him.” Jinki said before shrugging and walking out.

Jonghyun opened his mouth to retort and say “I can’t”, Jinki beat him to it.

“You can.” Jinki said before disappearing from his sight.

Jinki, Minho, and Taemin had all given him a little hope. They had all been around when that disaster happened…

They had all scolded him harshly of course, Taemin even refusing to speak to him for months, but overall their friends were certain that they were meant to be together. So they still gave him hope.

So if his friends think it may be possible to woo Kibum back to him after witnessing such a tradedy…then maybe he could do it? Maybe it was worth a shot.

He needed to. 

He wasn't exactly sure when he would have this opportunity again. He and Kibum didn’t cross paths often anymore. 

Jonghyun lifted his head up along with his shoulders. He lit a sudden surge of confidence peak through him and let him walk out of Jinki’s room.

He could do it! He could walk up to Kibum and talk to him! 

He could-

He stopped in his tracks when he Kibum with a guy leaned toward him whispering in his ear. He was laughing with his hand covering his mouth, a habit he always did because he had always been a bit insecure about his smile.

Would he ever be able to make Kibum laugh like that again? 

The man, who Jonghyun didn’t recognize at all, was cozying up to him. They looked to familiar with each other already.

He couldn’t stand to look at them for another second. Especially when Kibum, who had probably felt eyes on him, happen to lock eyes with him for a few seconds. The cold look that he held for those measly few seconds was more than enough reason for him to start feeling anxious again. 

Maybe he couldn’t do it.

His throat had gone dry. He didn’t want alcohol or juice. He needed some water.

Jinki didn’t have any bottled water available so he took it upon himself to get a glass from his cabinet.

His hands were shaking slightly but he held a firm grasp. He was fine.

He poured himself some water and talked himself into calming down a bit. He took a few sips,  drowning out the music and people’s voices in the background until he finished it all. Instead replaying the image of Kibum and that man talking and in each other’s personal space over and over again.

Perhaps he was a masochist.

Because he decided to turn around just to check and see how the two were doing. He couldn’t help it.

But when he did this he instantly regretted it. When he looked he saw that man leaning into his ear whispering God knows what to his ex lover. Not only was Kibum wearing the prettiest smile that he had missed so much, he was also laughing and leaning into him so comfortablely. Perhaps this isn’t the first time the two met.

Panic struck Jonghyun’s heart.

Was he being stolen away in front of his very eyes?

Stolen. Ha.

He lost him a long time ago.

Jonghyun stood frozen as he watched their encounter. His temperature rising and his hands shaking. This couldn’t be good for his health, now could it?

He was in shock for a second when he saw Kibum turn his gaze towards him. The cold look in his eyes gone, instead replaced with…fear? Or worry?

But then he noticed everyone around him was staring at him. A few looking away back to their conversations and some keeping their eyes on him. What happened? Why was everyone looking at him?

He didn’t snap back to reality when he saw a finger pointing down to his feet. He looked down and saw he had dropped his glass. , when did that happen? He had completely zoned out.

He immediately fell to his knees.

“, sorry Hyung! I’ll clean it up!” He said when he saw Jinki’s worried face. He was absolutely too embarrassed to look back up at him or anyone else for that matter. He held his head down low, he didn’t want to see judging eyes. 

He was foolishly picking up the glass shards and placing them into his hands when he heard the pitter patter of feet coming towards him, assuming it was Jinki or Taemin coming to help.

“It’s okay Hyung, we got it.”

Jonghyuns head snapped up at the sound of that voice just to see Kibum bent down in front of him picking up the glass shards and sweeping them into a dust pan.

When he dared to tear his gaze away from Kibum, he saw Taemin making his way over to help but saw him get stopped by Jinki and shaking his head ‘no’ to their young friend.

Jonghyun paused in his movements to look back at Kibum. He was only a few inches away from his face, he hadn’t been this close to him in over a year.

He was staring at him in awe as Kibum barely spared him a glance as he was too busy cleaning.

“Don’t be an idiot. Sweep them into the dust pan.” Kibum said, suddenly breaking him out of his trance.