# 2

Magician
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Hyukjae was afraid of it. That magic book in his head. The abilities he could have. Or already has. But needs to figure out.

Donghae's been telling him: it's okay that you're curious. Of course you'd want to know.

Because after using it unawarely... Hyukjae just couldn't help himself. From going back to it. Trying to look through it. He'd get nervous. That he's looking through that book. He'd blink guiltily at Donghae. Even get tearful.

But this book's part of him. Its magic was given to him. Even when Hyukjae didn't know of its existence... he used it. So it doesn't make sense. Why should Hyukjae constantly push himself to keep it closed? Untouched? Repress his abilities?

Hyukjae could end up using it again. Unknowingly.

Isn't it better to know? When he's using it... how he's using it... what it can cause... what's okay to use... what he shouldn't use?

It took some time. But Hyukjae started to feel less anxious. He has less guilt. Slowly... he became... comfortable...

Now... Donghae might even say... Hyukjae's started to enjoy it. Too much.

 

 

-----

 

Donghae yawns. Gets out of bed. He came home late. Went to bed late. Hyukjae's already up. He knows he's somewhere in the kitchen. Or in the living room. By the bookshelves.

"Morning, babe..." Donghae calls out.

"Morning, sleepyhead!"

Okay. He's in the kitchen. Donghae shakes his head to himself. Smiles. Goes to wash up.

 

---

 

Hyukjae's making breakfast. But he's also... learning. Or practicing. That's what he calls it.

Donghae halts a few feet away. Bites his lip.

Mugs are floating around. The milk carton. A salt shaker. Oh, there's pepper too. Hyukjae's standing by the stove. He's holding an egg. A pan is sizzling. Hyukjae then moves to the coffee maker. He places... the egg...

In the air.

Donghae takes a step back. Carefully. He moves out of the kitchen. Walks backwards.

Hyukjae didn't hear him coming. Donghae cannot say anything now. He could startle Hyukjae. Everything floating around will drop. To the floor.

Donghae's back hits the bedroom door. He clears his throat now.

"Hey, babe," he calls. Not very loudly. "Are you in the kitchen?"

Hyukjae's head appears. By the doorway to the kitchen. He smiles widely.

"Yes, I'm making you breakfast!"

"Great," Donghae says. "Can I... come in, then?"

Hyukjae appears puzzled. "Yeah? Why not?"

Donghae hurries to the kitchen again. Nothing's floating this time.

 


---

 

It's... quite harmless. The worst it can do is... make a mess. Which Hyukjae has done. Obviously. Many times. But he apologizes. A thousand times. Always rushes to clean it all.

His other ability... that he uses often... is useful. It can be a little scary if... used wrong. But it's useful. Very useful.

For example, there are times when Donghae messes up. He needs to redraw. Hyukjae can look at his work. Produce an exact copy without the mistakes.

Donghae doesn't rely on his replication a lot though. He only asks if it's necessary. If he doesn't have time.

They've all warned him about what he can't do. Hyukjae's shown that he understands.

"Yes, I know! I can't make money! I can't copy your credit card or anyone's credit card! I can't make people do anything and if I'm feeling nervous, I will not! Even! Step! Out of the house!"

But Hyukjae also said that... he isn't able to do that much willingly.

Yet.

"Paper is easy! It's so light! But I can't do a... a TV or a couch, you know? I can maybe... just... yeah, see, change its colour!"

"Oh. Um, okay. Hyukkie, love... I'm sorry, but we can't have a neon green sofa..."

"Do you want pink?"

"No..."

"Blue?"

"No, baby, just turn it back to how it was."

"Oh... um, okay... I'll try..."

Their sofa is bright purple. Hyukjae tries to change it everyday.

Luckily, they don't have many visitors. It's just the Parks and Koongie. Who hates the sofa.

Hyukjae's kept to making copies of easier things. Like books. He reads a lot. He really has a thirst for knowledge.

It's been great with Teukkie and the Parks' help. Honestly.

They take Hyukjae for a lot of important matters. They're the ones who got him official documents. Identification. A doctor (Hyukjae's in good health). A library card because he likes to read.

But no matter what Hyukjae reads... or sees... or watches...

He always comes back to those books. Donghae's collection of comics.

Unfortunately... Hyukjae's used his... magic... to make copies. Of his favourite pages.

Donghae can't do anything about it. Not after all the encouragement he's given Hyukjae.

"You can read anything you want! If this helps you practice your magic and feel more confident about it, then of course, baby! Make copies of whatever you want! It's not hurting anybody."

It's at home. It's just paper.

Now Donghae's started to beg him.

"Please don't enlarge them. Please don't put them up on the walls. Hyukjae, we cannot put that in the bathroom -- oh my god."

"What if I put this one up in the closet? No one will see it -- it's just for me and you!"

"Baby... why... why would I want a giant poster of... never mind. It's a no."

"Why, Hae? I just want to be able to see it better... it's not hurting anybody!"

"I'm sorry, baby, I was terribly wrong. This is hurting me."

"Howw is it hurting youuuu? You draw people ing all the time!"

"Hyukkie..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Making love -- but Hae, I don't think they're making love here! They're ing -- look! Because they haven't even said I love you--"

"Don't show me my own work, damn it!"

"Your work! Really? I knew you drew this!"

"I'm--I'm done drawing things like that -- stop pouting! Okay, you know what, pout and whine all you want. It's a no. I'm tearing it off if you put it up anywhere. Besides, you already have a similar one under the bed--"

Hyukjae had gasped. "How do you know about that one?!"

"Because you keep going under the bed with a flashlight?"

 


---

 

Donghae hasn't completely stopped drawing adult comics. It doesn't have to do with Hyukjae. Not really, anyway.

He's finished his last series. He went through all the edits. For the combined volumes. And he was so glad to be done. It's not that he disliked the work... or the content...

It's just that... he realized there might a lot of stress associated with i

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Author's Thoughts
sujul33
Wanted to add some Hyukjae POV.
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OdetteSwan 934 streak #1
Chapter 19: He's trying to find his purpose now that he isn't restrained.
Thank you so much for the update.
yanHae15 144 streak #2
Chapter 19: Oh! Hi! It's been a while! I miss them!
But Hyukkie is sad and struggling. I hope he doesn't see what they're doing for him as something negative. They do it with pur intentions and so, if there's any problem, it will be better to communicate. He shouldn't keep everything to himself 🥹🥹
fullofwish 1546 streak #3
Chapter 19: Hyukjae is struggling with so much. Seems like he feels bad whether he keeps it to himself or shares it, so it's understandable he's not sure what the best thing to do is. He and Donghae are really so considerate of each other, to a fault. Half of the issue is that they just want to please the other person at the possible expense of what they themselves want. Not sharing the things that are unpleasant. Hyuk now has more awareness and is worried that's what Donghae is always doing, but he is doing it too by not really sharing his true concerns. Worried Donghae will feel more responsible or burdened to find a solution for him.

Still think they can work through things best together, though. At least, Hyukjae seems more lost and afloat when he retreats into his lonely mind and the insidious draw of more powerful magic between the difficult memories and realizations. Even though Hyuk is better at self-regulating than he was when he would literally transform to protect himself whenever overwhelmed or threatened, he still needs trustworthy people to keep him grounded and remind him to tread safely, and Donghae has been that constant person he needed for a while. Maybe Hyukkie needs to express the things he needs that are different now, if that's the case. Like Donghae being more open with his own wants and needs instead of only prioritizing Hyukjae.
HelenDamnation #4
Chapter 19: Well from the sound of it, it may be the only parenting he got growing up was the time with Hazel. The rest of the time there's a whole lot of trauma he needs to recover from on top of his entire world basically having disappeared.

He's very helpful and considerate. He seems to be having trouble that realizing that is actually worth a lot. But he's at the age, isn't he, based on your notes, to be thinking that if he doesn't do something big then none of it counts. It would probably help if somebody explained to everyone in this story that constantly treating someone like they're fragile and about to break into a million pieces is going to be destructive to their mental health, even when you mean in the best way possible. :-)
ldh2013 #5
Chapter 19: Everytime Hyukjae felt threatened, he retreated into becoming a mannequin. It's no wonder that everyone, especially Donghae, has been trying really hard to make sure he feels safe. Being constantly worried over can be trying and Hyukjae appears to be feeling guilty about it. Adapting to the current world isn't that easy. Technically, Hyukjae doesn't have that much experience living (not being a manniquin). I think his only "work" experience was ever as a helper but the people around him now don't really "need" him to help them.
HelenDamnation #6
Chapter 18: So Hyukjae feels like he doesn't belong where he is, which is natural to have to process...but then in MM&YxMagician, he finds out there are DonghaexHyukjae couples everywhere he looks...so maybe that'll help? Help him feel he's where he's supposed to be?

Edit: I really, really like how you're showing some things many people experience that rarely get talked about in fiction, if ever. Like the sense of grief and loss when you get old enough to realize that you can't actually read all the books there are or learn all the things, much less do them fast enough. Or the fact that there's a lot to do with where you really can't fully imagine how it feels until you try it, which can create some shocks, both good and bad ones -- I've never seen that covered in conventional publishing (or at least only the ic surprises, never the reverse). I've been reading fanfiction for less than two years, but I'm constantly impressed at how fanfiction authors just go right ahead and cover what is missing from print media that really needs to be said and portrayed.
kiwicolada 1607 streak #7
Chapter 18: And here I'm sitting and thought that Hyukkie already coped amazingly with his past. I really thought he was fine living in the present, with Donghae and the Parks. That he's still suffering inside and feels lost in place is sad to read. Thinking about it, he lost so many time while he was surviving as mannequin during the centuries. And when we think twice there must be a century old between him and Hae. No wonder he feels out of time. But he did so well and everyone made sure to tell him this. But sometimes it's normal to feel this way, not belonging to this place and time when we think where Hyukjae's coming from.

I'm amazed that Hyukkie could feel Hae's biggest fear. That he could turn into a mannequin again. This shows how strong their bond is. Even the century old . A deep and strong love. As if they're destined to each other. Like it was his fate to sleep as mannequin until he could meet Donghae. Aside from all the horrible experiences Hyukkie did in the former century, I like the idea that Hyukkie and Hae were meant to be. But the deep sadness in Hyukkie is hard to handle for Donghae. The thing is Donghae can do what he wants, he can't heal Hyukjae from this sadness. Not alone. And deep inside there will always be a tiny piece of sadness that will reminds Hyukkie's that he's a surprise from another century.

It's been a while a chapter went so deep. Thank you for writing and sharing this ❤️
fullofwish 1546 streak #8
Chapter 18: So curious (worried) about what Teukie is worried about. Hope it is just because Hyuk sent him some possibly weird or sad texts before and not anything more.

The way Hyukkie's feeling is understandable. He's always so bright and energetic, but the more he grows and learns the more he comes to terms with reality. How could he not feel out of place? He's literally from the past, with magic no one else (that we know of) has, and has a lot of uncertainty still. It must feel so lonely and hard, no matter much Donghae and the Parks love and take care of him. It's no one's fault. It will just take time and patience for Hyukjae to figure things out and really find his place. To not be so harsh on himself for not being good at everything right away. As much as it breaks Donghae's heart to see him upset and struggling, it's a relief he's opening up about this.

♡
Kethryveris #9
Chapter 18: Hyuk, s'inquiète et se sent mal, j'espère que Hae va vite lui rendre sa joie de vivre. Merci 💙
kiwicolada 1607 streak #10
Chapter 17: Hyukkie is such a sweetheart. All concerned about the safety of Donghae's work. Even kisses have no priority in that moment. What a cute weatherman. And Donghae is all happy and forgot about that horrible night before. This is how their trip should be. I like this chapter a lot ❤️ Thank you for sharing and a belated happy new year ^^
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