# 13

Magician
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Donghae's wanted to go over the calender again. They need to make some changes. Some additions. But their breakfast is interrupted. For a short time.

His brother calls. Hana and Rae's faces press onto the screen. They chat about nothing. About what Hyukjae's eating. What Donghae's eating. Little RaeRae doesn't finish his cereal. But is interested in Hana's toast. Donghwa comes back by then. It's just before Hana's started getting upset. Donghwa thanks them. Says he hopes they see each other soon.

Hyukjae's very pleased. Because having a conversation with kids isn't hard. He turns to Donghae. To happily ask him questions. But Donghae has to apologize. Peck his cheek. Hurry to get to his email. He must make some scheduled calls too.

"It's okay! I'll clean up, Hae! What do you want for lunch, baby?"

"No, don't worry about that now," Donghae says from his desk. "I just need an hour."

Donghae's preoccupied for more than an hour. But Hyukjae had rushed past. Back into the bedroom. He was on his phone. Probably texting Leeteuk.

He hears him speaking faintly now. In the bedroom.

 

---

 

Another hour later, Donghae shuts his laptop.

"Baby?" he calls.

Donghae takes down the calendar. Grabs some markers again. Hyukjae runs over from the bedroom.

"Yes! I'm here!" Hyukjae says. "Do you need coffee?"

Donghae laughs. Holds his arm. Pulls him to sit on the floor.

"Later," Donghae says. "I want to talk to you about the calendar..."

"Oh..." Hyukjae lays on his stomach. Tugs the calendar close. "W-What do you want to talk about? Are we going to add walking with Mama Saeron on here too?"

"Yes, we are," Donghae says.

He gives Hyukjae markers. Instructs him to add spaces. Remove some notes. They make it all the way to the next month. Donghae alternates the "fun times!!" It now includes the Parks. He makes sure it happens during Hyukjae's appointment too. Mrs. Park gladly agreed to take him.

"Hae..." Hyukjae has his chin in his hand. "Is this what you talked to Mama Park about?"

Donghae chuckles. "Yeah, kind of."

"What are the empty parts for?"

"That is for you to decide how you want to spend your time." Donghae smiles at him. "With anyone. If you want to go to the Parks, or... practice writing those letters, or learn about computers or the online, or talk to Teukkie--"

Hyukjae opens his mouth.

"Yes, or read your books -- but after I make sure they're not stupid."

Donghae pokes his nose. Hyukjae closes his mouth. Blinks sadly.

"I wasn't gonna say that..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Donghae laughs. Leans over to kiss him. "Go ahead then."

Hyukjae turns his eyes to the calendar. Then he sits up. Folds his legs. Now he's frowning.

"There are so many things I need to do..." Hyukjae mumbles.

Donghae straightens as well. "Hey, what's the matter? This is just for us to follow so we can manage everything, but it's not fixed -- you don't have to do all of this all the time, okay?"

Hyukjae's biting his lip. Donghae regrets interrupting him earlier.

"What were you going to say?" Donghae asks gently.

"Um," Hyukjae says. Slowly. "Could we... could we add more times when I can... practice magic?"

"Oh!" Donghae says. "Well, of course--"

Hyukjae stops his hand. "Could..." He presses his lips tightly. Shakes his head. "O-Okay. It's fine to leave it like this... I'll just--"

"You can write it on here, babe." Donghae gives him the marker. Hyukjae likes to point out the calendar often. Follow it as closely as possible. "If that makes it easier for you..."

Hyukjae holds the marker. Hesitantly moves. Then pauses again.

"H-Hae..."

"Yeah?"

"Um... w-what about... you?"

"What about me?"

"Aren't there times when... when you need to go and do stuff?"

"Well, I do." Donghae looks at the calendar. "This is when I workout with Teukkie--"

"And I see Mama Saeron?"

"Yes. And all the spots here where I've got work--"

"But you work at home, Hae..."

"Yes, but if it says meeting, then it's in person--"

"That's also work?"

"Yes, and then this here, this is when I have to travel--"

"Will I be home when you're not here?"

Donghae blinks at Hyukjae. Then back at the calendar. Points. "Um, babe, this is actually our trip, I-I was going to tell you in a few days, but you'd be coming with me..."

Hyukjae's face brightens. His gums appear. "Oooohhh! Really?! Where are we going, what do I wear--?"

"Babe, sit down, it's not for another two weeks

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Author's Thoughts
sujul33
Wanted to add some Hyukjae POV.
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OdetteSwan 930 streak #1
Chapter 19: He's trying to find his purpose now that he isn't restrained.
Thank you so much for the update.
yanHae15 141 streak #2
Chapter 19: Oh! Hi! It's been a while! I miss them!
But Hyukkie is sad and struggling. I hope he doesn't see what they're doing for him as something negative. They do it with pur intentions and so, if there's any problem, it will be better to communicate. He shouldn't keep everything to himself 🥹🥹
fullofwish 1539 streak #3
Chapter 19: Hyukjae is struggling with so much. Seems like he feels bad whether he keeps it to himself or shares it, so it's understandable he's not sure what the best thing to do is. He and Donghae are really so considerate of each other, to a fault. Half of the issue is that they just want to please the other person at the possible expense of what they themselves want. Not sharing the things that are unpleasant. Hyuk now has more awareness and is worried that's what Donghae is always doing, but he is doing it too by not really sharing his true concerns. Worried Donghae will feel more responsible or burdened to find a solution for him.

Still think they can work through things best together, though. At least, Hyukjae seems more lost and afloat when he retreats into his lonely mind and the insidious draw of more powerful magic between the difficult memories and realizations. Even though Hyuk is better at self-regulating than he was when he would literally transform to protect himself whenever overwhelmed or threatened, he still needs trustworthy people to keep him grounded and remind him to tread safely, and Donghae has been that constant person he needed for a while. Maybe Hyukkie needs to express the things he needs that are different now, if that's the case. Like Donghae being more open with his own wants and needs instead of only prioritizing Hyukjae.
HelenDamnation #4
Chapter 19: Well from the sound of it, it may be the only parenting he got growing up was the time with Hazel. The rest of the time there's a whole lot of trauma he needs to recover from on top of his entire world basically having disappeared.

He's very helpful and considerate. He seems to be having trouble that realizing that is actually worth a lot. But he's at the age, isn't he, based on your notes, to be thinking that if he doesn't do something big then none of it counts. It would probably help if somebody explained to everyone in this story that constantly treating someone like they're fragile and about to break into a million pieces is going to be destructive to their mental health, even when you mean in the best way possible. :-)
ldh2013 #5
Chapter 19: Everytime Hyukjae felt threatened, he retreated into becoming a mannequin. It's no wonder that everyone, especially Donghae, has been trying really hard to make sure he feels safe. Being constantly worried over can be trying and Hyukjae appears to be feeling guilty about it. Adapting to the current world isn't that easy. Technically, Hyukjae doesn't have that much experience living (not being a manniquin). I think his only "work" experience was ever as a helper but the people around him now don't really "need" him to help them.
HelenDamnation #6
Chapter 18: So Hyukjae feels like he doesn't belong where he is, which is natural to have to process...but then in MM&YxMagician, he finds out there are DonghaexHyukjae couples everywhere he looks...so maybe that'll help? Help him feel he's where he's supposed to be?

Edit: I really, really like how you're showing some things many people experience that rarely get talked about in fiction, if ever. Like the sense of grief and loss when you get old enough to realize that you can't actually read all the books there are or learn all the things, much less do them fast enough. Or the fact that there's a lot to do with where you really can't fully imagine how it feels until you try it, which can create some shocks, both good and bad ones -- I've never seen that covered in conventional publishing (or at least only the ic surprises, never the reverse). I've been reading fanfiction for less than two years, but I'm constantly impressed at how fanfiction authors just go right ahead and cover what is missing from print media that really needs to be said and portrayed.
kiwicolada 1601 streak #7
Chapter 18: And here I'm sitting and thought that Hyukkie already coped amazingly with his past. I really thought he was fine living in the present, with Donghae and the Parks. That he's still suffering inside and feels lost in place is sad to read. Thinking about it, he lost so many time while he was surviving as mannequin during the centuries. And when we think twice there must be a century old between him and Hae. No wonder he feels out of time. But he did so well and everyone made sure to tell him this. But sometimes it's normal to feel this way, not belonging to this place and time when we think where Hyukjae's coming from.

I'm amazed that Hyukkie could feel Hae's biggest fear. That he could turn into a mannequin again. This shows how strong their bond is. Even the century old . A deep and strong love. As if they're destined to each other. Like it was his fate to sleep as mannequin until he could meet Donghae. Aside from all the horrible experiences Hyukkie did in the former century, I like the idea that Hyukkie and Hae were meant to be. But the deep sadness in Hyukkie is hard to handle for Donghae. The thing is Donghae can do what he wants, he can't heal Hyukjae from this sadness. Not alone. And deep inside there will always be a tiny piece of sadness that will reminds Hyukkie's that he's a surprise from another century.

It's been a while a chapter went so deep. Thank you for writing and sharing this ❤️
fullofwish 1539 streak #8
Chapter 18: So curious (worried) about what Teukie is worried about. Hope it is just because Hyuk sent him some possibly weird or sad texts before and not anything more.

The way Hyukkie's feeling is understandable. He's always so bright and energetic, but the more he grows and learns the more he comes to terms with reality. How could he not feel out of place? He's literally from the past, with magic no one else (that we know of) has, and has a lot of uncertainty still. It must feel so lonely and hard, no matter much Donghae and the Parks love and take care of him. It's no one's fault. It will just take time and patience for Hyukjae to figure things out and really find his place. To not be so harsh on himself for not being good at everything right away. As much as it breaks Donghae's heart to see him upset and struggling, it's a relief he's opening up about this.

♡
Kethryveris #9
Chapter 18: Hyuk, s'inquiète et se sent mal, j'espère que Hae va vite lui rendre sa joie de vivre. Merci 💙
kiwicolada 1601 streak #10
Chapter 17: Hyukkie is such a sweetheart. All concerned about the safety of Donghae's work. Even kisses have no priority in that moment. What a cute weatherman. And Donghae is all happy and forgot about that horrible night before. This is how their trip should be. I like this chapter a lot ❤️ Thank you for sharing and a belated happy new year ^^
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