# 7

Magician
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At times... Donghae's hands just protest. He can't draw anything right. It's frustrating. What he wants to draw... what's in his head... transfers in stickmen.

He groans. Pushes his work away. There's no point forcing himself. He rests his head on the desk. Takes off the one earbud.

Donghae's stuck to keeping work spaces. Work hours. It's not like before. When he laid around anywhere. At the coffee table. In the kitchen. On the couch. In the bedroom. He had a bit more freedom. When to send his work in. Submit it. His editor just checked in on him.

It then also got hard. Because of Hyukjae's mannequin and memory problems. Donghae often couldn't stay on track.

But now... it's different obviously. For a few reasons.

Donghae has to keep up. With the author's work. Schedule. Hyukjae is also okay. And he knows that he is. Knows that Donghae struggled with his work. With managing it all. Because of him. So he's been taking Donghae's work very seriously.

Hence, the work space. The hours.

Donghae is a creative person though. It's different having to translate words into images. And another person's, too. Their story through his art. So the skills are sometimes... not enough. He needs inspiration. A bit of a spark. Motivation. Maybe more references.

Hyukjae tries his best. To give him snacks. Some quiet. No distractions.

It is quiet now. Hyukjae's at home. Donghae had listened earlier. He was practicing magic in the bedroom. Hyukjae sneaks off stacks of books there. Sometimes hides them. Not very well.

Donghae doesn't know... what's going on with the books anymore. There's way more than he initially had. Hyukjae's got some from the library. He might've bought more with the Parks. When he knows Donghae's ears are plugged with music... Hyukjae practices floating them around. Donghae can't go too long. Without taking out an earbud. To listen to where Hyukjae is. Or what he's doing.

It'll take years. For him to not worry.

Right now... Donghae can't hear much though. Is Hyukjae reading? He turns around in his seat.

They have to leave. In a few hours. Hyukjae's going to the Parks. Donghae's going to the gym. After that... Donghae should come back to work. But Hyukjae has scribbled "fun times!!" on the calendar. Which Donghae told him to write. It's not the doctor's again. That's not till two weeks. He's scheduled for a shot. Which means... Donghae has to keep up with... "fun times!!" They can be anything. It's for Donghae to decide. So Hyukjae can never predict the doctor's appointment.

He glances at his work. Then back to the calendar. It's stuck on the wall. Near the bookshelves. Hyukjae put it there.

Donghae sighs. He's realizing: Hyukjae was right. It's not easy for Donghae. To do this the way the Parks did. That obviously works for Hyukjae. He gets to learn. Gain new experiences. Then get surprised with a doctor's appointment in the middle. They've probably figured it all out amongst themselves. Grandma Saeron gets to spend time with Hyukjae too that way.

They made the calendar just... around ten days ago? And Donghae's already... not quite following everything...

Donghae gets up from his desk. Walks slowly to the bedroom. The door's ajar. He a quiet breath.

Hyukjae's laying across the bed. He has his nose in a book. But around him... several things are in the air.

Books. Sheets of paper. Three pencils. A tissue box. And... a pillow.

Nothing that can break.

Donghae steps inside. Is startled at the book Hyukjae's reading. My Lover's Pregnant.

He's... never owned that.

"This is impressive."

Hyukjae y

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Author's Thoughts
sujul33
Wanted to add some Hyukjae POV.
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OdetteSwan 927 streak #1
Chapter 19: He's trying to find his purpose now that he isn't restrained.
Thank you so much for the update.
yanHae15 139 streak #2
Chapter 19: Oh! Hi! It's been a while! I miss them!
But Hyukkie is sad and struggling. I hope he doesn't see what they're doing for him as something negative. They do it with pur intentions and so, if there's any problem, it will be better to communicate. He shouldn't keep everything to himself 🥹🥹
fullofwish 1537 streak #3
Chapter 19: Hyukjae is struggling with so much. Seems like he feels bad whether he keeps it to himself or shares it, so it's understandable he's not sure what the best thing to do is. He and Donghae are really so considerate of each other, to a fault. Half of the issue is that they just want to please the other person at the possible expense of what they themselves want. Not sharing the things that are unpleasant. Hyuk now has more awareness and is worried that's what Donghae is always doing, but he is doing it too by not really sharing his true concerns. Worried Donghae will feel more responsible or burdened to find a solution for him.

Still think they can work through things best together, though. At least, Hyukjae seems more lost and afloat when he retreats into his lonely mind and the insidious draw of more powerful magic between the difficult memories and realizations. Even though Hyuk is better at self-regulating than he was when he would literally transform to protect himself whenever overwhelmed or threatened, he still needs trustworthy people to keep him grounded and remind him to tread safely, and Donghae has been that constant person he needed for a while. Maybe Hyukkie needs to express the things he needs that are different now, if that's the case. Like Donghae being more open with his own wants and needs instead of only prioritizing Hyukjae.
HelenDamnation #4
Chapter 19: Well from the sound of it, it may be the only parenting he got growing up was the time with Hazel. The rest of the time there's a whole lot of trauma he needs to recover from on top of his entire world basically having disappeared.

He's very helpful and considerate. He seems to be having trouble that realizing that is actually worth a lot. But he's at the age, isn't he, based on your notes, to be thinking that if he doesn't do something big then none of it counts. It would probably help if somebody explained to everyone in this story that constantly treating someone like they're fragile and about to break into a million pieces is going to be destructive to their mental health, even when you mean in the best way possible. :-)
ldh2013 #5
Chapter 19: Everytime Hyukjae felt threatened, he retreated into becoming a mannequin. It's no wonder that everyone, especially Donghae, has been trying really hard to make sure he feels safe. Being constantly worried over can be trying and Hyukjae appears to be feeling guilty about it. Adapting to the current world isn't that easy. Technically, Hyukjae doesn't have that much experience living (not being a manniquin). I think his only "work" experience was ever as a helper but the people around him now don't really "need" him to help them.
HelenDamnation #6
Chapter 18: So Hyukjae feels like he doesn't belong where he is, which is natural to have to process...but then in MM&YxMagician, he finds out there are DonghaexHyukjae couples everywhere he looks...so maybe that'll help? Help him feel he's where he's supposed to be?

Edit: I really, really like how you're showing some things many people experience that rarely get talked about in fiction, if ever. Like the sense of grief and loss when you get old enough to realize that you can't actually read all the books there are or learn all the things, much less do them fast enough. Or the fact that there's a lot to do with where you really can't fully imagine how it feels until you try it, which can create some shocks, both good and bad ones -- I've never seen that covered in conventional publishing (or at least only the ic surprises, never the reverse). I've been reading fanfiction for less than two years, but I'm constantly impressed at how fanfiction authors just go right ahead and cover what is missing from print media that really needs to be said and portrayed.
kiwicolada 1597 streak #7
Chapter 18: And here I'm sitting and thought that Hyukkie already coped amazingly with his past. I really thought he was fine living in the present, with Donghae and the Parks. That he's still suffering inside and feels lost in place is sad to read. Thinking about it, he lost so many time while he was surviving as mannequin during the centuries. And when we think twice there must be a century old between him and Hae. No wonder he feels out of time. But he did so well and everyone made sure to tell him this. But sometimes it's normal to feel this way, not belonging to this place and time when we think where Hyukjae's coming from.

I'm amazed that Hyukkie could feel Hae's biggest fear. That he could turn into a mannequin again. This shows how strong their bond is. Even the century old . A deep and strong love. As if they're destined to each other. Like it was his fate to sleep as mannequin until he could meet Donghae. Aside from all the horrible experiences Hyukkie did in the former century, I like the idea that Hyukkie and Hae were meant to be. But the deep sadness in Hyukkie is hard to handle for Donghae. The thing is Donghae can do what he wants, he can't heal Hyukjae from this sadness. Not alone. And deep inside there will always be a tiny piece of sadness that will reminds Hyukkie's that he's a surprise from another century.

It's been a while a chapter went so deep. Thank you for writing and sharing this ❤️
fullofwish 1537 streak #8
Chapter 18: So curious (worried) about what Teukie is worried about. Hope it is just because Hyuk sent him some possibly weird or sad texts before and not anything more.

The way Hyukkie's feeling is understandable. He's always so bright and energetic, but the more he grows and learns the more he comes to terms with reality. How could he not feel out of place? He's literally from the past, with magic no one else (that we know of) has, and has a lot of uncertainty still. It must feel so lonely and hard, no matter much Donghae and the Parks love and take care of him. It's no one's fault. It will just take time and patience for Hyukjae to figure things out and really find his place. To not be so harsh on himself for not being good at everything right away. As much as it breaks Donghae's heart to see him upset and struggling, it's a relief he's opening up about this.

♡
Kethryveris #9
Chapter 18: Hyuk, s'inquiète et se sent mal, j'espère que Hae va vite lui rendre sa joie de vivre. Merci 💙
kiwicolada 1597 streak #10
Chapter 17: Hyukkie is such a sweetheart. All concerned about the safety of Donghae's work. Even kisses have no priority in that moment. What a cute weatherman. And Donghae is all happy and forgot about that horrible night before. This is how their trip should be. I like this chapter a lot ❤️ Thank you for sharing and a belated happy new year ^^
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