# 18

Magician
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The heavy rain continues.

Hyukjae is sitting by the window. He's still dabbing paper towels. All over Donghae's work. His tools. Hyukjae carefully sets each aside. On the table. Even though... Donghae's already checked everything. Dried it all.

He'd done it in the car. They'd waited for a few minutes there. To see if the rain would stop. Donghae wanted to go back. Wanted to spend more time with Hyukjae. Witness his experience. His wonder. Be present with him in the moment. All Donghae had managed was work.

Donghae stands in the kitchen now. He's looking at his phone. Because Leeteuk's replied.

"I don't know... I just have this nagging feeling..."

The other is still typing. It stops. Continues. Stops again. A message finally arrives.

"Never mind though, if he's okay. I'll ask him when he's back. Hope the weather's not as bad as it is here! Share more pictures when you can. Grandma loves it."

Donghae tells him they're indoors. Then he places his phone aside. On the kitchen counter. He ponders for a moment. Looks over at Hyukjae.

The initial plan for the day had been: breakfast. Visit the park. Grab lunch. Shop. Get groceries. Make dinner at the apartment.

Unfortunately, they're already here now. It's only afternoon.

Donghae's going to make ramen. They'd brought a few packs with them. Some snacks. It was meant for late nights. If they were still hungry. So this just wouldn't have been enough. That's why Donghae made a quick stop earlier. At a convenience store. He'd run in to grab more food. Snacks. Asked a disappointed Hyukjae to wait. In the car.

He's told Hyukjae to wait again. To go busy himself with something. That's why... he's there. By the window. Sitting on the couch. His back's to Donghae. Because he was ordered to.

The meal's meant to be a surprise.

Donghae keeps watching him. Hyukjae's gotten to his sketchbook. He's bent over it.

"Baby..." Donghae calls. "I've gone through each page. It's all fine."

"Oh, yeah, I know," Hyukjae answers. "I wanted to see... just if I can make copies for you. There are drops in the corners of some pages... not on the drawing, though..." He shifts. But stops. "Wait, can I turn around, Hae?"

"No," Donghae says. Smiles.

Hyukjae faces forward again. Slouches. "Why can't I see you?"

"Later, sweetheart. You can still talk to me like this. What is it?"

"Do you... do you want copies of anything? I can make them..."

"No, thank you, love. I have to redraw these anyways."

"Okay..." Hyukjae sighs. Then raises the sketchbook over his head. "Look Hae, you were supposed to be working! But you've got me drawn here!"

Donghae recognizes the half-completed sketch. He laughs sheepishly. Turns. Puts some snacks in the fridge.

"But I'd finished work at that time..."

He closes the fridge. Hears Hyukjae sigh again.

The other's lowered the sketchbook. Placed it against the armrest. But he's silent. Donghae can't tell: Is he staring at the sketch? Or out the window?

"What are you thinking about, baby?" Donghae says.

"Nothing..." Hyukjae mumbles.

Donghae finds a small pot. Fills it halfway with water. Maybe Hyukjae's thinking about his magic. Donghae told him he was amazing. With the rain. But Hyukjae's smiles were shy. A bit doubtful. Or maybe it's... to do with last night. Or he's tired. Or is this about... whatever's got Leeteuk worried?

Donghae doesn't like seeing him... like this.

"Sweetheart..." Donghae calls again. "Why don't you go read something? You've brought your books, haven't you?"

He wants Hyukjae to gasp. Suddenly dash. Into the bedroom. Pull out his comic books. But Hyukjae stays sitting.

"Or you could take a nap, Hyukkie..." Donghae glances over again.

Hyukjae's head is straighter: he is gazing out the window this time. He does so... for long moments. Only the pitter-patter of the rain is heard.

Donghae's heart dips. Hyukjae's... too still.

He quietly moves. Out of the small kitchen. Towards Hyukjae. He needs to look at his face. Needs to touch him. Feel his warmth.

"Hyukkie?" Donghae says. Gently. Takes his hand -- it's soft.

Hyukjae blinks in surprise. "Hae?" He turns to look behind himself. "Are you done? Is the surprise ready?"

"Oh... no, sorry..."

Donghae lets out a breath. Pecks Hyukjae's head. Puts the sketchbook aside. He sits beside Hyukjae. Tugs his hand. To make him face Donghae.

"Babe, are you alright?" he asks.

"Yeah?" Hyukjae says. Blinks confusedly. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Donghae smiles. Pulls him closer. He needs to embrace him.

"I'm okay..." Donghae wraps his arms around Hyukjae. Holds him gently. "I feel a little disappointed though."

"Why--?"

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sujul33
Wanted to add some Hyukjae POV.

Comments

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OdetteSwan
934 streak #1
Chapter 19: He's trying to find his purpose now that he isn't restrained.
Thank you so much for the update.
yanHae15
143 streak #2
Chapter 19: Oh! Hi! It's been a while! I miss them!
But Hyukkie is sad and struggling. I hope he doesn't see what they're doing for him as something negative. They do it with pur intentions and so, if there's any problem, it will be better to communicate. He shouldn't keep everything to himself 🥹🥹
fullofwish
1545 streak #3
Chapter 19: Hyukjae is struggling with so much. Seems like he feels bad whether he keeps it to himself or shares it, so it's understandable he's not sure what the best thing to do is. He and Donghae are really so considerate of each other, to a fault. Half of the issue is that they just want to please the other person at the possible expense of what they themselves want. Not sharing the things that are unpleasant. Hyuk now has more awareness and is worried that's what Donghae is always doing, but he is doing it too by not really sharing his true concerns. Worried Donghae will feel more responsible or burdened to find a solution for him.

Still think they can work through things best together, though. At least, Hyukjae seems more lost and afloat when he retreats into his lonely mind and the insidious draw of more powerful magic between the difficult memories and realizations. Even though Hyuk is better at self-regulating than he was when he would literally transform to protect himself whenever overwhelmed or threatened, he still needs trustworthy people to keep him grounded and remind him to tread safely, and Donghae has been that constant person he needed for a while. Maybe Hyukkie needs to express the things he needs that are different now, if that's the case. Like Donghae being more open with his own wants and needs instead of only prioritizing Hyukjae.
HelenDamnation #4
Chapter 19: Well from the sound of it, it may be the only parenting he got growing up was the time with Hazel. The rest of the time there's a whole lot of trauma he needs to recover from on top of his entire world basically having disappeared.

He's very helpful and considerate. He seems to be having trouble that realizing that is actually worth a lot. But he's at the age, isn't he, based on your notes, to be thinking that if he doesn't do something big then none of it counts. It would probably help if somebody explained to everyone in this story that constantly treating someone like they're fragile and about to break into a million pieces is going to be destructive to their mental health, even when you mean in the best way possible. :-)
ldh2013 #5
Chapter 19: Everytime Hyukjae felt threatened, he retreated into becoming a mannequin. It's no wonder that everyone, especially Donghae, has been trying really hard to make sure he feels safe. Being constantly worried over can be trying and Hyukjae appears to be feeling guilty about it. Adapting to the current world isn't that easy. Technically, Hyukjae doesn't have that much experience living (not being a manniquin). I think his only "work" experience was ever as a helper but the people around him now don't really "need" him to help them.
HelenDamnation #6
Chapter 18: So Hyukjae feels like he doesn't belong where he is, which is natural to have to process...but then in MM&YxMagician, he finds out there are DonghaexHyukjae couples everywhere he looks...so maybe that'll help? Help him feel he's where he's supposed to be?

Edit: I really, really like how you're showing some things many people experience that rarely get talked about in fiction, if ever. Like the sense of grief and loss when you get old enough to realize that you can't actually read all the books there are or learn all the things, much less do them fast enough. Or the fact that there's a lot to do with where you really can't fully imagine how it feels until you try it, which can create some shocks, both good and bad ones -- I've never seen that covered in conventional publishing (or at least only the ic surprises, never the reverse). I've been reading fanfiction for less than two years, but I'm constantly impressed at how fanfiction authors just go right ahead and cover what is missing from print media that really needs to be said and portrayed.
kiwicolada
1606 streak #7
Chapter 18: And here I'm sitting and thought that Hyukkie already coped amazingly with his past. I really thought he was fine living in the present, with Donghae and the Parks. That he's still suffering inside and feels lost in place is sad to read. Thinking about it, he lost so many time while he was surviving as mannequin during the centuries. And when we think twice there must be a century old between him and Hae. No wonder he feels out of time. But he did so well and everyone made sure to tell him this. But sometimes it's normal to feel this way, not belonging to this place and time when we think where Hyukjae's coming from.

I'm amazed that Hyukkie could feel Hae's biggest fear. That he could turn into a mannequin again. This shows how strong their bond is. Even the century old . A deep and strong love. As if they're destined to each other. Like it was his fate to sleep as mannequin until he could meet Donghae. Aside from all the horrible experiences Hyukkie did in the former century, I like the idea that Hyukkie and Hae were meant to be. But the deep sadness in Hyukkie is hard to handle for Donghae. The thing is Donghae can do what he wants, he can't heal Hyukjae from this sadness. Not alone. And deep inside there will always be a tiny piece of sadness that will reminds Hyukkie's that he's a surprise from another century.

It's been a while a chapter went so deep. Thank you for writing and sharing this ❤️
fullofwish
1545 streak #8
Chapter 18: So curious (worried) about what Teukie is worried about. Hope it is just because Hyuk sent him some possibly weird or sad texts before and not anything more.

The way Hyukkie's feeling is understandable. He's always so bright and energetic, but the more he grows and learns the more he comes to terms with reality. How could he not feel out of place? He's literally from the past, with magic no one else (that we know of) has, and has a lot of uncertainty still. It must feel so lonely and hard, no matter much Donghae and the Parks love and take care of him. It's no one's fault. It will just take time and patience for Hyukjae to figure things out and really find his place. To not be so harsh on himself for not being good at everything right away. As much as it breaks Donghae's heart to see him upset and struggling, it's a relief he's opening up about this.

Kethryveris
#9
Chapter 18: Hyuk, s'inquiète et se sent mal, j'espère que Hae va vite lui rendre sa joie de vivre. Merci 💙
kiwicolada
1606 streak #10
Chapter 17: Hyukkie is such a sweetheart. All concerned about the safety of Donghae's work. Even kisses have no priority in that moment. What a cute weatherman. And Donghae is all happy and forgot about that horrible night before. This is how their trip should be. I like this chapter a lot ❤️ Thank you for sharing and a belated happy new year ^^