Our promotion is about to end, and I have mixed emotions about it.
I don’t want it to end because, even if you’re threating me like air, I still want to be this close to you. Seeing you, being able to hear your voice and smell your scent.
But at the same time, I want to be far away from you as possible because the pain and guilt is too much. I don’t know for how long will I be able to hold my tears because being in the same space as you, I just want to crawl like a ball and cry.
Everything doesn’t feel like what it used to be. Your attention is no longer only for me and it’s all because of me.
Everything is my fault.
Everyone stops eating and put their undivided attention to Wendy.
Wendy smiles awkwardly, not used to having attention on her. “Since promotion is about to end and we will be on a break for a couple of weeks, I’m thinking of moving back with my parents”
Irene nods. “Okay”
Seulgi smiles. “They are going back to Canada in a couple of months, right?”
“Then spend as much time as you can with them. We understand”
“Besides, Sooyoung-unnie will start filming soon. Oppa said she will be in the countryside while they are filming” Yeri added. “Seulgi-unnie and I will take turns accompanying Irene-unnie, don’t worry”
Joy stays mum the entire time, just listening and nodding.
Wendy beams. “I will come by whenever I can”
I think your thoughts have changed, since you left
You walked in our waiting room with a big smile on your face while carrying ice creams.
“Eyyy~ is that for us?” Yeri approached you, eyeing the delicious treats you brought with you.
You flash an apologetic smile. “Actually, it’s for Eunbi”
That’s right, you promised to see her and even made plans to invite her to your house to bake. I know, I was listening to your radio. Every day if I’m being honest, I just don’t want to tell you.
“I’ll head out for a bit. I’ll be back” you announced before completely leaving.
Before, you wouldn’t leave our waiting room, you wouldn’t leave me alone but now you’re all over the place. Never staying in one room, never staying with us… with me…
Your DJ gig really brought out your extrovert side. And honestly, I’m happy for you. At least you’re not going off to somewhere getting drunk and drowning yourself. I couldn’t say the same for me though.
I look up when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I force a smile.
Irene didn’t say a word but I can feel the comfort from her touch. It somehow lessens the pain.
What am I living for, if you’re not with me
The dreaded time has come.
Our promotion finally ended and you’ve stopped coming to our dorm since yesterday.
I crawled up like a ball in the middle of my bed. Suddenly, I hate this big bed of mine that you liked so much.
It feels too big… too empty.
I gripped my chest tightly, too much pain. I can’t breathe.
Is that Irene unnie? Why is my sight blurry? Am I crying? When did I start crying?
I quickly wipe my tears then sits up. “What time is it?”
“It’s almost midnight. You didn’t come out to eat”
“I’m not hungry”
Unnie inhales deeply. “You haven’t been eating right since yesterday, Sooyoung”
“I don’t have an appetite”
“I understand but at least try to eat something. Your filming will start soon, you need to be healthy or else you might end up like Mido”
“Unnie I’m sorry”
Irene shakes her head. “There’s no need for apology, Sooyoung. I trust you, me and the girls do. You have your reasons and we know that those reasons are for