Author's Note: Not gonna waste any time, we're about to find out how Taemin deals with the decision he has to make!

The week after they came back from their trip was busy for Taemin. He worked three days in a row, followed by a long day of classes Thursday. On Friday he and Jongin went out together, and things felt pretty normal between them; and then Saturday Taemin was busy working once more and studying when he was home. All in all, he kept himself active and avoided thinking too much – and maybe avoided Jongin a little too much too. But at least he had excuses.

His mind was in utter turmoil though, every free second he had. I can’t be doing this… Guilt ate away at him whenever he and Jongin were alone. If Jongin’s hands strayed too far, Taemin would lie and say he was too tired. Even when Jongin just kissed him, Taemin wouldn’t let himself take things too far. He couldn’t fall into temptation, he told himself. Instead he would pray every night for answers – what was the right thing to do? – and strength to get him through – in both resisting Jongin and making the right choice.

Realistically, he knew he needed to just end things. It wasn’t right, nor was it fair what he was doing to Jongin. But Taemin didn’t know how to. How did he destroy the happiest thing he had ever found, the greatest feelings he had ever experienced? Every time he thought about it, he felt like crying. Why did the right thing have to hurt so much?

Taemin didn’t know how to do this alone. So when Sunday morning came around and he had nothing better to do, he decided to go find help.

“I didn’t bother getting dressed, but come in.”

The door swung wide to reveal Baekhyun, still in pajamas and wearing glasses, hair a mop but eyes alert thanks to the coffee in his hand. Taemin had called ahead to ask if he could come over, and though Baekhyun had emphasized that he was hardly alive at this hour, he had agreed to it at Taemin’s insistence that it was important. Unable to wait, Baekhyun had told Taemin to just come over to his apartment so they could talk there, and that was how Taemin had ended up at his door.

“I’m sorry for just coming by like this…” Taemin apologized, feeling like he was intruding.

Baekhyun merely shook his head. “It’s fine. It sounded urgent.”

“Kind of…” Taemin felt a bit nauseous as Baekhyun invited him to sit on his little couch, trying to think of how to break the subject. He could feel the older trying to read him, sipping at his coffee and looking him over in thought.

“Is this about Jongin?” Baekhyun wondered. Taking a shaky breath, Taemin nodded but couldn’t speak. “Does he want to sleep with you? Are you here for tips?”

The assumption made Taemin crack a little, giving a tiny laugh. He briefly pondered over the idea of Baekhyun’s friends asking for those kinds of things – and truthfully, it made sense. Baekhyun was a very naturally ual person, he would be the first person on Taemin’s mind too if he were looking for advice like that. But that wasn’t the advice he wanted.

“Um.. no…”

Baekhyun’s brow furrowed, clearly deep in thought. “Hmm, you seem nervous though. What’s this about then?”

It was hard to say it, hard to put those words out into the universe, to bring the idea into reality. Taemin was fairly sure his heart cracked a little when he spoke. “I… I think I need to break up with Jongin.” It hurt, and the shock on Baekhyun’s face as he nearly dropped his mug hurt equally so. Of course he didn’t expect it – they had been nothing but happy the past month.

“What?! But you just got together!”

Taemin’s throat felt like it was starting to swell up, so he just nodded and looked down as tears began prickling in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now; this wasn’t about him…

“Taemin, you – you wanted this. What the hell am I missing?” Baekhyun asked him, confusion colouring his voice as he eyed Taemin in disbelief. “You did it, Taemin. You got him. Why would you want to end things now?”

When he tried to speak, Taemin’s voice got snagged on the lump in his throat, and tears came instead of words. He hid his face in his hands as a wave of pain rushed over him, and rather than giving the explanation he wanted, he merely choked out, “I don’t know…”

In an instant, Baekhyun was putting down his coffee and moving to pull Taemin into a hug. He rubbed Taemin’s back and soothingly assured him that it was okay, not forcing anything more while Taemin shook with sobs. There were a long few minutes where the room was filled with nothing but the quiet sounds of crying, and then Taemin rested his cheek on Baekhyun’s now-wet shoulder, letting himself calm down and gathering his thoughts. He wasn’t there to have a breakdown on his friend, though he was grateful that Baekhyun was gentle and responsive and didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest.

“It’s alright,” Baekhyun whispered, hand still up and down Taemin’s spine rhythmically. “Tell me what’s going on. I’m here to help you…”

Without lifting his head, Taemin decided to try again. “I- I don’t think I can handle it. It’s not sitting right with- I mean, it goes against my religion. We shouldn’t be doing it, and I know it, and I can’t handle the way it makes me feel. I know I’m not supposed to, and now I feel guilty whenever he looks at me…”

Baekhyun listened without interruption, waiting until Taemin tapered off, and Taemin had absolutely no idea what he was thinking. But he didn’t take long to speak, nor did he hold back when he did.

“God…” Baekhyun muttered, giving Taemin a tight squeeze. Then he pulled back so he could look at Taemin directly, grabbing some tissues to pat his face dry. “I’m so sorry you feel that way. I know it’s what you were raised with, but…” He took a deep breath, brow furrowing for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t know how to say things gently, Taemin, so I’m just going to be honest with you. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. Not only did you fall in love with this completely gorgeous guy who you’re so compatible with and who obviously makes your life substantially better – not only that, but you were lucky enough to have him fall for you too. Against all odds… so many of us can only dream of the one we want returning our feelings, and you got him.

“You’re so lucky, Taemin.” Baekhyun’s eyes were almost pained when he said it, and Taemin was sure he’d never seen him so… raw, so honest. “But you have some stupid voice in your head telling you to throw it all away – and for what? For some eternal happiness that may or may not exist? Why do we have to do nothing but suffer on earth in hopes that it might be rewarded when we’re dead? I know it’s what you believe, but I just don’t know why you would want to believe it. If there’s a god, why wouldn’t he want us to be happy? Especially when there’s not a single person on this planet who’s being hurt by you and Jongin being together. Not one… It makes you two happy, it makes the people around you happy to see you happy.

“I’m so sorry, Taemin, but I don’t believe in any god who isn’t on my side,” he went on firmly.  There was something burning dully in his eyes, not quite anger but close. “And I don’t think you should either. You aren’t hurting anybody. But breaking up with him? That will hurt him, it’ll hurt you; hell, it’ll hurt me. If your god exists, he should be rooting for your happiness, not destroying it.”

And Baekhyun really did look like it was hurting him, something Taemin couldn’t ignore. It underlined his words, giving Taemin all the more to think about. “Anyway, I really don’t think you should break up with him. Just… really think about it, please. I know if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t let him go for the world.”

It was so much to mull over, and overwhelming was an understatement. Soon enough Taemin was using Baekhyun’s shoulder to lean on again, and Baekhyun let him stay there in silence for as long as he needed, just thinking. The idea was profound – what if God wanted him to be with Jongin? Something about the idea of being supported filled his heart with peace. Why would God want him to suffer? Baekhyun had a point – it wasn’t like their relationship was hurting anyone, nor would it ever hurt anyone any more than any other relationship. Taemin still wasn’t sure, but it was a lot to consider. Maybe, just maybe…

He probably spent an hour just sitting with Baekhyun on that couch. He thought Baekhyun might have dozed off just a little, but Taemin didn’t really mind. When he finally got up, Baekhyun offered him a coffee and asked if he had come to a decision. Taemin told him he needed to think a little more, but admitted that breaking up with Jongin might not be the answer after all.

“Don’t you be leaving him, okay?” Baekhyun reiterated, giving Taemin’s arm a gentle pat. “You two have something really good together…”

“I know… Please don’t tell him about this,” Taemin pleaded quietly. “Ever, please.”

“Only at your wedding,” Baekhyun joked with a smile. “‘We’re all here thanks to me talking Taemin out of ending things years ago…’”

“Ha ha,” Taemin said, shaking his head. Secretly, he liked the thought of it though.

Not long after this, he finally headed home. He felt a little lighter after the conversation, somehow feeling closer to God despite the way Baekhyun didn’t believe in any of that. It reminded him of the peace he felt after speaking to Jonghyun, wondering if perhaps his friends were speaking the truth. Maybe they were giving him the words God wanted him to hear, letting him know through them what was right for him…

It made him feel better to think about this, and by the time he got home his spirits were lifted. When Taemin walked into their bedroom, he found Jongin lying on the bed watching TV. Unlike him, Jongin didn’t seem to be in a very good mood at all, and he was quick to turn off the television when he saw Taemin.

“Where have you been?” he asked, sounding grumpy and a bit aggravated, which matched his scrunched-up expression. “I messaged you a bunch of times.”

He had? Taemin frowned, pulling his phone from his pocket. It was on silent, the screen showing several notifications from Jongin.

“I’m sorry, my sound’s off…” And he’d been too lost in thought to check it. He peeked at Jongin’s messages and immediately felt guilty.

hello

where are you?

I woke up and you’re not here :(

taemin?

hello? are you okay?

why aren’t you answering

taemin

msg me when you see this so I know you’re alright…

He’d left Jongin worried about him and completely forgotten. What a jerk… He typed a quick reply.

So sorry, I didn’t check my phone ㅠㅠ

When Jongin read it, he rolled his eyes. It made Taemin feel a bit sick. Had he messed things up now? “Where were you anyway?” Jongin prodded, sounding somewhat… accusing.

“I – I went to Baekhyun’s house,” Taemin said truthfully, though he immediately started worrying. Would Jongin get upset about this? He hadn’t thought of an excuse for why he would go see Baekhyun first thing on a Sunday morning.

And indeed, Jongin was squinting in response. But then, he asked an unexpected question. “Are you sure you didn’t really just go to a church?”

A church? “Why would you think that?” It was so random. Possibly because he had gone the week before. Maybe Jongin thought he would get back in the habit here…

But once again, Jongin took him off guard. He sat up, looking at Taemin seriously. “I saw that book you had,” he admitted. Taemin frowned for a second before it hit him what book he meant. “What you were reading… You’ve been acting strange about it ever since…

“Taemin, am I crossing a line?” There were a dozen emotions in his voice. Guilt, hurt, worry, frustration, sadness. His voice drew up memories of the past few weeks, Taemin able to see the pain laced through countless interactions and moments that he hadn’t noticed before – or that he had, but hadn’t processed. It reminded him once again of the way he had been neglecting Jongin lately, the internal battle he was facing taking up too much of his energy and not leaving enough for his boyfriend. But it didn’t stop there, because Jongin’s next question felt like a punch through the chest. “Are you… regretting things?”

And it wasn’t just the doubt in his voice, the way he’d really left Jongin to think that he was having second thoughts. The most painful part was the conversation he had just had with Baekhyun, and the way that he had had to be talked out of ending this relationship. Very suddenly, Taemin felt like crying again, although he refused to allow himself there.

Taemin didn’t mention the conversation. Instead, he crossed over to the bed and sat beside Jongin, pulling him into a tight hug. “I don’t regret anything,” he promised, meaning every word. “I’m just… trying to figure things out. Between us and my beliefs. I have been having a bit of a hard time, trying to make it all work, but…”

The lump in his throat was back, not letting him continue. Jongin seemed to hear it, this time hugging Taemin back tighter before pulling him to lie down on the bed together. In another moment, Taemin was curled up with his face hidden in Jongin’s neck, sniffling as he tried even harder to hold back from crying.

He wished he could explain how hard it was, but Taemin had no idea how to put it into words. How to say it in a way that Jongin would understand and that wouldn’t hurt him, because Taemin had a feeling that if he just said everything, Jongin would take it the wrong way. So rather than possibly dragging Jongin down with him, Taemin just stayed quiet and tried to exude all of his love for Jongin so he could feel reassured.

Evidently though, it didn’t work very well, because after a few moments Jongin asked in a weak voice, “You’re not going to leave me, are you?”

Taemin was sure he felt his own heart break a little hearing it. It hit him hard then, just how much he loved Jongin, and how much Jongin meant to him. His best friend, the person he loved as much as his family… Taemin had never felt that way about anyone before. Jongin made him feel so happy, so full of love… How could it be wrong?

He thought back to when they had met. The way their lives had crossed, the way Jongin and his mother could have gone anywhere, but they went to his grandparents who happened to live in the same tiny village as Taemin. They just as easily could have never met, and even after that, Jongin could have just gone back to the city and forgotten about him, but there they were. Together, still. It made him realize that Baekhyun was right, because Taemin had never felt better than all the moments by Jongin’s side. Just being with him felt so much like home, and he couldn’t believe that God wasn’t on his side, didn’t want this for him. Hadn’t God given him this?

And what was more, the pain in Jongin’s voice made it so clear. Leaving him would hurt him more than staying would ever hurt anyone. How could that be right? Jongin was the right choice. Just thinking it, he felt certainty and he felt calm, almost as though God was agreeing with him. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel wrong, and Taemin would take it.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, tilting his head back to look up at Jongin. Seeing the sadness in his eyes, all Taemin wanted to do was wash it away. He searched blindly for Jongin’s hand with his own, taking it and giving it a tight squeeze. “I promise. I love you too much…”

This made Jongin smile, leaning in to kiss Taemin very softly. “I’m glad. Stay with me.”

Taemin just nodded, knowing his heart could never go anywhere else.

*

One evening just a couple nights later, Taemin was at the desk in their room fretting over a notebook. He kept writing things and scribbling them out, periodically letting out groans of frustration. After a particularly exasperated sound, Jongin looked up from the textbook he was studying with an amused expression. “Are you okay over there?”

“Mm… I’m just- trying to figure out how to write a goodbye letter.”

Jongin’s heart might have actually stopped, but Taemin was too busy frowning at his page to notice it. “Wh- huh?”

“For my boss,” Taemin elaborated slightly, going quiet for a moment to write something down and then reading it over.

The book in Jongin’s hand was tossed aside as he sat up, moving to the edge of the bed and eyeing Taemin nervously. “Why?”

“I’m going to leave.” Taemin didn’t look up as he said it, face still scrunched in thought. “But I feel bad, you know? I worry about how they’ll be without me. It’ll be hard to find someone new…”

“You’re… you’re leaving?”

The tone of his voice finally drew Taemin’s attention away from the paper and to Jongin’s face – which was nearly as white. His eyes were wide and filled with heavy panic, the slow kind that made you feel like you were sinking and unable to do anything. But why? Taemin quickly replayed their conversation in their mind, and realized the crucial information he had left out.

“Oh- no, no, I’m-” He shook his head urgently, nearly jumping to his feet and crossing to Jongin. Then he was climbing into his lap and dragging him into a hug. “Sorry, I didn’t even mention… I’m leaving my job for a different one, that’s all.”

Jongin had been extra clingy since their conversation, the idea of Taemin leaving him clearly still occupying his worries. Now, he pressed himself into Taemin’s hold and sulked as relief flowed through him. “You had me scared…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Taemin cooed, Jongin’s hair in apology. “I would never spring that on you like that.”

For a moment Jongin just pouted, recomposing himself as he waited for his heart rate to calm down again. Then he said, “Mhm, but you’ll spring a new job on me, huh?”

This made Taemin’s face flush. Honestly, he had thought he had mentioned it, but apparently he had completely forgotten. “I was gonna tell you. I don’t know why I didn’t…” (Besides having so much on his mind lately that he could barely keep on top of things, but he wouldn’t say that.)

“Well tell me about it now,” Jongin ordered, leaning back and pulling Taemin to lie on him.

“I’ll tell you if you help me break up with my old work,” Taemin chuckled as he grabbed their pillows and made things more comfortable for them. Jongin was lying there was his legs hanging off the edge of the bed, but he didn’t seem too bothered by it, so Taemin just curled up and let him be.

“I’ll help you break up with anyone as long as it’s not me,” replied Jongin with another pout. Taemin bent to kiss it, giggling and shaking his head.

“I would never. But- the new job…”

It had been unexpected. Taemin had gone in to Jonghyun’s family café to make those treats for their one-month anniversary, and Jongin’s sister had been so impressed by him that she had floated the idea by him. It was just her and her mother running the place, and they could really use another pair of hands. Her mother had been on board, so they had offered him a job – and Taemin liked the idea. It was closer to his school, and they were willing to match his current wage as his starting wage with them. Plus, he admittedly enjoyed getting to make wagashi a lot.

He explained all this to Jongin, the younger’s pout turning to a smile that only grew wider by the minute. “This sounds perfect,” Jongin told him. “I’m about to have free snacks all the time.”

Taemin rolled his eyes playfully. “Is that all you get out of this?”

“I hope so,” Jongin grinned, leaning up to steal a kiss. “I’ll come by and visit so you just have to make me one freebie, not a whole set.”

“Hmm… maybe I can teach you how to make them.”

This had Jongin shaking his head. “No, I don’t want to learn. I want yours, filled with all your love,” he said sappily. This made Taemin snort, though he secretly liked it. He would happily make Jongin a hundred if that were the case. “You know, my mom wants me to get a job. Maybe I should learn, and they can hire me too.”

The idea of Jongin working had never once crossed Taemin’s mind before. Imagining it was strangely foreign; he always just had money. Actually working for it? It felt like putting a prince in a fast-food restaurant.

“I could teach you,” Taemin said despite his thoughts. The idea of it felt romantic, having a one-on-one class with Jongin. All alone, close together, with Taemin guiding Jongin’s hands to show him what to do… He tried not to let his mind stray, the thoughts already getting him flustered. “But- wait, I need to write my resignation. Help me…”

It was a bit funny, talking about it with Jongin who had also never quit a job before, but they managed to piece something together. When they had come up with something that sounded reasonable, a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, you know… you could apply there,” Taemin pointed out. “The owner’s really nice, and it’s nothing too hard.” How great would it be if Taemin could offer a replacement for himself at the same time he resigned? And if it helped Jongin get work…

Jongin frowned, but nodded. “Yeah, I might. You can put in a good word for me,” he said with a grin, reaching over to touch Taemin’s cheek. “My mom would love you for that.”

“Are you saying she doesn’t love me now?” Taemin joked, though truthfully he was sure she didn’t. She seemed to like him, but… well, how would she feel if she knew she had stolen her son the way he had? The idea made his stomach clench, but he tried to ignore it.

“Oh trust me, she loves you more than me,” promised Jongin in response, laughing. “I’m pretty sure she would trade you for her own son if she could. She’ll probably be asking you to marry me if you get me a job though. Told me I’m too lazy. My own mom, you know.”

His lips jutted out as he started faux-sulking, and though Taemin laughed, he was caught on something else Jongin had say. Asking you to marry me… “Do… do you think she’ll support you? If you tell her about.. us?”

Jongin couldn’t miss the way Taemin worried on his own lip as he asked. His hand reached out to cup Taemin’s face, Taemin leaning against his palm with just a bit of sadness peeking behind his eyes. He didn’t expect Jongin’s next words, though.

“Let’s tell her.”

Eyes widening, Taemin’s heart jolted. “W-what? Now?” When Jongin nodded, he found his body going stiff, unable to move. So suddenly? They didn’t even have a plan if things went wrong. If she kicked him out. If she kicked them out- “Wait. Jongin, wait-”

Jongin was already getting to his feet, taking Taemin’s hands. But Taemin didn’t budge. “Come on, I’ll do the talking.”

“Wait!” Taemin almost yelled, anxiety leaving him paralyzed still. His volume had Jongin pausing to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What if it goes wrong?”

“I’m completely certain it’ll be fine.”

“But-”

“Taemin.” Jongin took him by his shoulders, holding him firmly and bending to be eye-level with him. “Trust me. No matter what happens, I promise I’ll take care of you. Okay?”

Taemin wished he could feel as confident as Jongin, but he was trembling under his hands. Still, Jongin held his gaze, waiting patiently, and looking at him brought that peace back to him once more. He was still afraid, but it felt like a tiny reminder that whatever happened, he would be alright. This was his fate.

“O-okay…” he finally answered, biting at his lip again. Jongin simply leaned in and kissed him, which didn’t really help his heart in any way.

“Trust me,” Jongin repeated. Then he was pulling Taemin to his feet and towards the door.

Author's Note: Three cheers for Baekhyun for coming through, the captain of our Taekai ship 😅 Taemin might finally, truly be at peace... or at least, he would be if Jongin didn't suddenly decide to bring his mom into this :) Pray for this poor boy's sanity, he endures a lot from Jongin ♡

Also, can you guys imagine Jongin working? Will he do well, will he get fired? I really do think it would be cute if they worked together, but can Jongin even handle a part-time job? Let me know your thoughts on possible Worker Jongin ♡