Changbin: Yeah, we just got back from the movies. Felix is spending the night. We can call if you want.

 

Aiden stared at the words on the screen, a wave of something washing over him. He didn’t know if it was hurt, jealousy, or something. Emotions were weird to him, even though he experienced them on a regular basis - he was an emotional person. Seeing Changbin and Felix getting closer as friends just struck something inside Aiden, something he had been trying to ignore since the beginning of summer.

 

Aiden: No, it’s okay. Don’t want to interrupt your hangout session.

 

Snarky? Passive-aggressive? Absolutely but Aiden couldn’t stop his jealousy from spilling from his fingertips as he wrote. It was difficult to see watch his boyfriend and best friend bond - like magnets attracting to each other. And the worst part was that Aiden wasn’t even in Seoul anymore. For an entire month, he was with his family on a trip to Scotland - oh how he cursed his Celtic heritage at that moment.

 

Changbin: Dude, wtf? I offered?

 

But it wasn’t like he could blame Felix. Changbin was better than him, that was for sure. Even if the other had soft childlike features, he still had this demanding and dominating aura around him 75% of the time. He could completely understand the attraction. Changbin had experience, was kind and gentle - near perfect really. And Felix? He was an amazing person, if not a bit ridiculous on the amount of memes he brought into their everyday conversation. He was affectionate and sweet, filled with nothing but laughter and purity that was different from Aiden’s own. Aiden was just a dumb , whereas Felix just had this natural innocence to him, but behind those wide, brown eyes was a little devil waiting to come out.

 

In a way, Aiden could see how good those two would be together, could really understand the attraction. It didn’t mean he liked it. It didn’t mean it wasn’t hurting him.

 

Changbin: Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird for a while man?

 

Aiden: I’m fine.

 

Aiden wanted to throw his phone at the wall, crawl under his blankets and just forget life existed. Or maybe he could run away and become a hermit, living his life herding sheep and living off the land. Anything would be better than to face his problems - his insecurities. He knew he wasn’t enough, wasn’t what Felix wanted, and Felix did nothing to hide it. Their once sweet and cute kisses became just motions. There was no meaning behind it and the first few times it happened, Aiden just thought he had caught Felix off guard with them. But it was a common thing now. Lifeless lips pressed against his and Aiden’s heart broke just a little more each time.

 

Changbin: You don’t sound fine.

 

Aiden: I’m texting, how would you know what I sound like?

 

There was a long period of nothing that followed that message. It was read, he could clearly see the words ‘READ’ under his message, so Changbin had seen it. Yet even after five minutes, there was still no response and Aiden worried that maybe he pushed the other away too much. Maybe Changbin had finally got tired of his . It only took him 8 years, surprisingly.

 

His phone started ringing and he jumped, staring at the screen and reading Changbin’s name on the front. He sighed softly and debated if he really wanted an answer. He didn’t, but nothing would get resolved if he didn’t. And he wanted closure. He didn’t want to lose his best friend of jealousy. A small part of him hoped that he was wrong and that it was just his brain making up random bull. But a part of him knew and he just wanted that confirmation.

 

“Hey.” He breathed as he finally answered the call.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, I told you -“

 

“You gave the most passive-aggressive answers, I know you’re not fine.” There was a bit of a bite in Changbin’s tone and he knew he upset him.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Dude, don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s going on.”

 

Aiden pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes closing as he seriously contemplated what he was about to ask. How ed up would everything be if he just accused Felix of cheating on him with Changbin. Could he really handle the truth that he so desperately wanted to hear?

 

“Aiden?”

 

“Changbin, you would tell me the truth, to anything I asked right?” He could feel the hesitation in Changbin’s voice before he answered.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Okay.” Aiden took a soft breath, bracing himself. “Are you and Felix...seeing each other?”

 

“Uh, yeah. What a stupid question. I just told you we got back from the movies.”

 

“No, like seeing each other,” Aiden stressed the word, hoping Changbin would get it. He knew the other wasn’t as dense as he could be, but he wasn’t sure if Changbin would try and play stupid.

 

“...yes.”

 

Even though he knew the answer, it didn’t stop his heart from breaking. It didn’t keep the tears from falling. And he wasn’t mad at Changbin or Felix. Between them, Changbin was the superior pick. Aiden honestly had nothing to offer Felix, where Changbin had everything and more. Aiden was a , it was no surprise to him that Felix would want someone with more experience, to match his own.

 

“Aiden I-“

 

“It’s fine.” He whispered, swallowing down soft whimpers that wanted to escape him, hands furiously wiping at his eyes, trying to rid all traces of his pain. “Take good care of him.”

 

“Aiden-“

 

“I have to go, family stuff. See you in a week.” He rushed out, giving no time for Changbin to even respond as he hung up. His eyes stared at the lock screen, glowing brightly in the dimness of his room - Felix’s smile radiating a light that he hadn’t seen since he had taken the picture after they first got together. He didn’t bother to try and stop the tears or muffle the sound of his sobs as the screen turned black. They fell steadily, unabashedly splashing onto his phone. This was the worst pain he had ever felt in his entire life. His phone buzzed with the small chime of his ringtone notification, the screen lighting up once more.

 

Lixie: I’m sorry Aiden. I was going to tell you when you got back. I think...

 

The rest of the message was cut off, but he didn’t need to open it in order to know what was being said. Seeing the words, however, just made it all the more real. And this was truly the worst pain he had ever felt.

 

His first breakup.